quote:

---

Originally posted by Black Mask:
Chelsea and Islington are full of *****.

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Stars everywhere, yes. Take your autograph book.
 

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Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
Hmm...after looking at their locations I'd have to say the Chelsea one is not great for tube stations, the nearest being Fulham Broadway & Parsons Green (and not very near at that) which are on the notoriously shit District line and a bit out of the city. It is close to King's road and places that would be good for shopping and bars and such like, quite a public school gang kind of nightlife round there I think.

The other one is more central and much better tube connections, you can get anywhere from King's Cross. Angel has loads of bars & restaurants and its easy to get into the center for shopping and shows.

I am biased though as I don't really know south London very well.
 

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Posted by Frank (Member # 445) on :
 

 

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Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Abby:
I don't really know south London very well.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Raz:

VP probably lives somewhere really non-descript and horrid, called Milmston or something, which has a train station with a faded (hence pink) old British Rail logo, and a broken ticket machine. Under the arches lay dead, featherless baby pigeons that have been shaken from their nests by the juddering of the barely-held-together tracks. Next door there is a kebab shop simply called 'Kebab Shop'. At night shouting, dead-eyed men with grey, matted beards and tattered leather jackets gather outside and bark swears into each others mouths. On the platform the wind claws directly at your face and throat and brain. Tepid, cruel youths with eyes like frogs and stringy yellow hair swarm at night, pushing cold chips into their girlfriends faces. There is one train every 45 minutes. It passes through Dirgewich, Bauchney, Etcton, Brownhouse, in a long, rattling, squealing, curving and torturous course to Victoria. The monitor displaying the times (in Teletext) is slightly fucked, hence every few letters a random symbol appears. At night Milmston is utterly silent, but for the barking of a dog.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Raz:
There is one train every 45 minutes. It passes through Dirgewich, Bauchney, Etcton, Brownhouse, in a long, rattling, squealing, curving and torturous course to Victoria.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by London:
then this superdrunk tramp on crutches came in the other direction. He wobbled around and then fell off. So I was like, oh shit, good Samaritan moment coming up. So I got off bike and stuck out my hand and was like 'dude take my hand let me help you up.' And the tramp just lay there sobbing. And I was like 'no seriously dude. lemme help.' But the stupid tramp wouldn't. So I tried to take his hand but he slapped my hand away and grunted and shook his head.

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poor benway
 

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Posted by miffysocks (Member # 675) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by London:
Everyone: post about your favourite tramps!

---

My favourite tramp is known by many names, cu cu man and marmite man to name a couple. He wonders around the Swindon town centre in a different hat each day which he personalises him self. One has a marmite sticker on the front (hence his name) and others have magical things like feathers and mini-trolls them.
He walks up and down town (in-between pubs) and makes cu cu noises. Some people think he has mental problems, but I think that he does it cause he likes freaking people out. He’s wicked cool, but to be honest he has a place to live so he isn’t really a tramp , but I don’t care I thought he deserved a mention anyway.
 

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Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
 
That's like my black friend Bernard, who has white skin, and is a white man.
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
No way miffers. Crying Boy is by far the best. He actually made it into the papers. It was within public interest to see him banged up in nick.

He earned his nickname for his inventive attempts to get money, you see. His ruse would be this; He lives in Bristol and he needs money for the train. But you know what? He don't got enough fair and like, hes got to be home soon. And like, if he isn't his dads gonna kill him cos he gets beaten up see. So he needs a poun. No. Two at least to help with the fair and then he bursts in big tears. When an old lady or someone else sees this they feel sorry for him and pay up. Said Crying Boy, hes not a crying boy anymore. No! Hes Laughing Boy now, he then toddles off to the local crack house. Ho Ho HO!

But, his ruse must of got tiresome because he was hassling some lady and started crying and bawling about his fictional abusive bristolian father. But he gets bored half way through and snatches her bag. Is crying boy a good runner? Our survey says Gnngh ehhh! He is busted and shamed on the front of the Evening Advertiser. His real parents with little faces of woe on the cover.

Sweet tramp justice.
 

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Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
 
Shut up about Swindon, you awfae man!
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
But I don't know any tramps outside of Swindon
 

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Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
My favorite tramps are the man who plays the drums on plastic tubs for many many hours, and the man wearing a lampshade as a hat who tried to sell me a wicker basket.

Also this doesnt fit in the thread, but I just walked through Regents Park and I saw about 20 ducks beating up this other duck who was really skinny and his feathers were all scruffy and fucked up. The were all chasing him and jumping on him and pulling his feathers. I tried to make them stop by throwing small twigs and pebbles and shouting "Oi!", but they were in the duck enclosure so I couldnt help him. It was really brutal.

So when visiting London, don't go to Regent's park unless you have a heart of stone.
 

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Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
My favourite was a man in Edinburgh who always wore, winter or summer: army greatcoat, grey trousers held up with twine, boots. His vast naked belly protruded magnificently from between the folds of his coat. He had jet black hair shot through with grey and a prophet's beard, and strode up and down Princes Street like a conquering warlord, or Brian Blessed.

Edit: dur! "reading's so last season" say my treacherous eyes.

[ 04.06.2004, 10:20: Message edited by: Astromariner ]
 

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Posted by Harlequin (Member # 454) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Frank:
I wonder if I could ask a favour, if it's not too forward of me?

Mrs. Frank Power wishes to go to London for a weekend at some stage over the summer. Luckily we have vouchers for Jurys Inn hotels, so we can use those.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Abby:
I just walked through Regents Park and I saw about 20 ducks beating up this other duck who was really skinny and his feathers were all scruffy and fucked up.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
The duck's ill or dying. Chickens do it too and they get really nasty about it. I had to bring a chicken indoors and put her in the bath so that she could get better without her eyes being pecked out the sockets.

---

So birds are really evil!

[ 04.06.2004, 10:17: Message edited by: Harlequin ]
 

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Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
There's one well known tramp here who rides through the back bay section of Boston on a three-wheeled cycle. I've never seen him stopped - he's always in motion. His cycle is outfitted with a rediculous number of baskets, reflectors and orange fiberglass masts bearing tattered triangular orange flags. There may also be a bell fitted to the handlebars. But for all of this, the reason he's so well known is because of the noise he makes. "Woo-oh! Woo-oh!", he yells, seemingly with every breath, emulating the sound of a horn. You hear him approach, as his wails surface above the surrounding city noises, and soon enough he rides by. And before you know it, he's gone again, his "woo-oh!" refrain fading into the background noise again. I don't know where he's come from or where he's going, but he always seems very intent on getting there.
 

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Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
 
There's another well known tramp just above you Froopus.

Surely in Amelica tramp = hussy. Don't you call homelesses 'transexuals' or something.
 

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Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
 
Yo London! I know Excuse Me Tramp. She has guilt-inducement down to a fine art. Have you encountered 'Guv Tramp', who comes up with wild staring crack-addled eyes, snot-encrusted nose, saying 'guv, guv, got a pound guv, guv, got a pound guv' etc (you can guess the rest). He once tried to sell me a nintendo game console thingo out of a bin bag on my stairs and got quite uppity when I said no.
 

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Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
 
My old housemate once saw a woman taking a shit outside the Ritzy Cinema in Brixton. In a moment of clarity, one of the smackheads sitting on the grass nearby picked up a piece of brick and hurled it at her. Their aim was true and it struck the shitter on her thigh. This in turn made her lose her balance and she ended up sitting in her own excrementmuch to the delight of the assorted drunks, druggies and cinema goers nearby. I believe she was quite angry.
 

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Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
Not a tramp, but a menthale: North London (Finchley - Muswell Hill) resident who shouts "THE BEST OF LUCK!!!" to all he passes.

zero?
hero?

Edit: I think his name is Horace, but if you call him by it, he will threaten to "Break you face".

[ 04.06.2004, 10:26: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
 

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Posted by Frank (Member # 445) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Harlequin:
I wouldn't waste vmy money staying at one of those rip off hotels if I were you. You can stay at Crystal Palace Park camping site for 7:50 a night or better still go fly camping on Hampstead Heath or some other wild open space in the capital like Fryant country park near Wembley.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by froopyscot:
"London was standing at the cash machine, flung a cigarette at her bum, and ran away."

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Frank:
Cheers, I'll do that! What with me being a tramp and everything, it's the perfect solution!

---

Well if you look through a street map of London you will see loads of green open spaces, many of which are overgrown and suitable for flycamping such as Walthemstow Marches off Lea Bridge Road near Hackney and the area around Welsh Harp resovouir near Brent Cross. Fly camping is also fun!
 

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Posted by Modge (Member # 64) on :
 
Best London Tramp = Southfields man.

I'm sure someone else off TMO knows him too (dang?) He has a giant grey beard and in the summer wears fluorescent yellow shorts, sandals and nothing else. He stands on the crossroads by Southfields tube station and just shouts stuff. Abuse, greetings or advice depending on his mood. Sometimes he shouts at the pedestrians, sometimes the unfortunate driver stuck at the traffic lights who then becomes his victim for the subsequent 3 minutes. He is in his absolute element during Wimbledon when he can abuse the streams of tourists that walk from the station to the grounds along the road.
 

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Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Modge:
Best London Tramp = Southfields man.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by London:
Not to be confused with the equally annoying 'street teams' who are paid to post things like 'The Silver Bardots are the best band ever their new single is out next week and their video is amazing I drink Malibu Spiced Rum' on music message boards the world over.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by 69CE:
Hippychick and Gail will both back me up on this.

---

quote:

---

Gail:
Elvis, I was in your neck of the woods on Saturday evening - was it pikeys' night out or what? I would have taken some photos á la Martin Parr, but I feared the more intelligent of them would have accused me of stealing their souls...

---

Genuinely honestly? L. . L. It was rag day. Dude, I left town. It’s horrible. The Star and The Duke, two of the finest, most honest boozers on God’s green earth, laid waste by the cider till I’m red brigade.

Did you stay for the Wurzelsesque finale? They do a couple of anthems, ending with “Pill, Pill. I love thee still (tho I’m drunk on zoider)”. There’s a fellow normally gets up and does an a-cappella version of – o fuck what is it? The one about the girl. Slightly haunting – “Twice Daily”, that’s the one. Anyway, he’s a love.

That's cool as milk you were there. Sorry about the pikems.
 

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Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
 
Elv, there is a town round your way called 'Nempnett Thrubwell'.
 

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Posted by 69 Comeback Elvis (Member # 9) on :
 
Yes. Also Compton Dando, home of Hip Hop. Who can forget NWA’s wheezy-listening classic ‘Straight outta Compton Dando”? (Taken from the Negresses With Asthma classic first album “Rock and Salbutamol: Short breaks for the bronchially challenged”, recorded in nearby Yo-ville.)

Also: somebody invented the word negress!

Also: Straight outta Compton (Dando) was a genuine record by one of the West Country’s many punk bands. Sadly I can’t remember their name. It was funny at the time [not difficult in 1988 – alternative comedy hatin’ ed].
 

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Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
 
Elvo

I don't know the aforementioned crusty. Do you remember Wedding Dress Lady who used to roam Broadmead, looking like a deranged Miss Haversham (bit of a tautology there, ne'ermind) and harassing the lunchtime punters who were attempting to spend their wage packet in JJB Sport and New Look?

Also, also. What about the Lunchtime Christians who would regularly set up shop on the merrygoround bit in the middle of Broadmead and do their poster-painting homilies to modern life? I used to love them. Trying to pitch fellow love to the seething capitalist mass whose only concern was the size of the queue in the Post Office.
 

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Posted by 69 Comeback Elvis (Member # 9) on :
 
Hippy chic, the Christians have split. Much like Suede.

The original Christians have moved (top of Corn Street) where, bereft of their sparky lead headnodder, they do much the same schtick but not as good. Also, they are dwindling. The girls with headscarves have deserted them (perhaps for hot cock), leaving only the pallid lead Christian and somebody who looks a bit like him but less interesting. They are the quietest Christians in the worl’.

The lead headnodder, however, done got hisself involved in some hellfyah and dam-nay-shun style stuh-reet preachin’! He has a new frontman and some backing headnodders. He also has a microphone and speaker system. They stand outside MacDonald’s. He’s an ambitious Christian, but I wonder if his experimentation is somehow at the price of a simple message simply delivered. I’d like to see him do an acoustic set.

p.s. I'm drawing a vague something on wedding dress lady. Perhaps if you were to remember the Monk, I might recall more...
 

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Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
 
But of course! The Punk Monk! How could I have forgotten, etc.

Reminisce (PM-Dawn stylee) on Cedric, the rastaed tramp who used The Triangle as his stomping ground. This was ten years ago, though - I think he has long since departed for the Cardboard City in the Sky. He was lovely.
 

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Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
 
Speaking of religious types, Woking was seemingly overrun with the God-botherer brigade last week, there was a Christian (soft) rock group outside Sainsbury’s belting out messages of love and holiness and smiling pityingly at the heathen hordes attempting to buy their lunch, outside the same mall was a slightly quieter but just as holy bunch of Christian crooners, and down in the main square there was a free barbecue, the only stipulation being that while you queued up you had to put up with more pitying smiles as well as having to listen to the Christian tunes they were playing at full volume (in fact you had to put up with that if you dared pass within half a mile of them). Needless to say I went to KFC instead.

Is this a normal sort of event in this part of the country does anyone know? Whole towns being taken over by well-meaning bible-bashers with pitying smiles and knowing expressions.

Considering that Woking has a huge muslim community I couldn’t help wondering what they’d make of it all..
 

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Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
 
All I've seen recently are the hordes of young men in suits with "Jesus Christ: PR Rep" badges on them. They seem far too polite and mild-mannered to get any quality conversions.

Oh, I was in Corydon the other weekend and saw Ken Livingstone walking up the street with God's Army (as delineated on their banners) walking towards him from the opposite direction, with happy children banging drums and suchlike jolity. I don't know what happened when they converged.
 

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Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
I don't know what happened when they converged.

---

 

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Posted by miffysocks (Member # 675) on :
 
Nothing to do with tramps, but reading the word Christians reminded me of a weird group that hang outside the Co-Op.
There are around 6 families and they all dress the same (almost the way Amish people dress) they stand preaching about the evils of the world and how the Devil is in me, and how I need to be purified by God. This doesn’t bother me too much as there are a few groups around my town like them and you get use to it. The thing that really creeps me out (and this has happened a few times) is their ability to disappear without a trace.
As they stand next to the entrance with the cigarette counter next to it I have to pass them to go in, but when I come out of the shop they have completely disappeared. The Co-Op is on a long road where you can see a long way in each direction and they can’t be seen. It takes a maximum of 1 min to go into the shop, buy fags and leave, and it takes at least 5 mins to walk far enough to be out of sight? Where do they go, and why does it happen to me every time they’re there?
 

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Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
 
Father bible basher: She looks like a sinner!
Mother bible basher: Yes, a foul sinner, she’ll burn with the devil
Father bible basher: Tell you what. Lets hide round the corner and jump out on her, that’ll sh*t her up a bit!
Children bible bashers: Yeah can we?!
Mother bible basher: Oh all right then, everyone get round the corner and stay quiet
* All shuffle round corner and hide in the shadows *
Children bible bashers: So what do we say when we jump out?
Father bible basher: Eh?
Children bible bashers: Well do we say “accept jesus into your heart sinner!”, or “repent and you shall be saved!”, or should we all just go “BOO!” really loudly?
Father bible basher: Umm, whichever makes you happy?
Mother bible basher: Won’t it work better if we all say the same thing?
Father bible basher: Fine, everyone say “Jesus is your saviour, accept him into your heart!”
* Minutes pass *
Father bible basher: Where is she?
Children bible bashers: Umm, isn’t that her half way down the road there smoking a fag?
Father bible basher: b*gger…lets go and harass some old people and tramps instead, that’s normally good for a laugh..
Children bible bashers: Yayy!!
* All traipse off practising pitying smiles and knowing looks *
 

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Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
Hi TMO

We're always fart-assing around talking about how we want to be creative and just aren't. But this thread is like totally fucking juicily drippingly over-ripe for being turned into a little book, a little illustrated screenprinted book. Just all the descriptions of the tramps, and then whoever is good at doing drawings can do drawings of the tramps. Tramps of London! It would be great. I'm thinking of someone with a kind of Julie Doucet drawing style perhaps, quite hard, clean lines. Would you all be prepared to have your content used in this way? I think it would be rad.
 

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Posted by miffysocks (Member # 675) on :
 
*lol*
 

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Posted by Gail (Member # 21) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by 69CE:
Did you stay for the Wurzelsesque finale?

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by London:
[I was thinking Raz for the drawings too. And Mask for a kind of pyschogeographicalbabble introduction.]

---

I can draw too! Kinda
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
i was thinking lots of this stuff - the london based stuff, obviously, would be prime material for smoke:thelondonpeculiar, but yes, its a much better idea to use it ourselves and not give it away. how do i host images? if someone tells me i shall furnish the boards with a handdrawn picture, by me, of the tramp who used to walk round cambridge with a loaf of bread attached to his head.
 

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Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
 
Couldn't you manufacture a set of cards - Top Tramps. A kind of humane Bumfights where you'd have statistics for Special Brew consumption, distance of odour travel, length of dreadlocks, decibel level of incomprehensible bellowing and number of message board posts before being kicked out of library. It's a goer, and totally PC.
 

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Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
 
Can we call it Mendicant Memoirs?
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
its alright! i dunnit!



the tramp who used to walk round cambridge with a loaf of bread attached to his head.

criticisms i am prepared to accept of this drawing:

a) yes, i am totally dispraxic when it comes to drawing lapels and always have been
b) i have always been better at drawing right feet than left
c) same goes for hands.
d) he had really hairy ears, alright?
 

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Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by dang65:
Couldn't you manufacture a set of cards - Top Tramps. A kind of humane Bumfights where you'd have statistics for Special Brew consumption, distance of odour travel, length of dreadlocks, decibel level of incomprehensible bellowing and number of message board posts before being kicked out of library. It's a goer, and totally PC.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Uber Trick:
Also, maybe he used it as some kind of learning device: Loaf of bread = head. You could do some more too couldn't you: packet of peas = knees and the classic cockney rhyming slang: plates of meat = feet or pork pies = eyes!

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by discodamage:

i wish i could draw this, but i have to leave for work! bumholes!

---

I just have, badly, in paint, where's there free image hosting these days that I can upload to from work?
 

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Posted by 69 Comeback Elvis (Member # 9) on :
 
packet of smash = gash
 

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Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
My local tramp in Belsize Park (I know! I didn't think there would be tramps there either, I think they escape up from Camden occasionally) is Big Thumb man. He has one thumbnail that is about 10cm long, thick, yellow and curved. He goes on the tube and shouts "Don't come near me! Don't touch me! I'm ill!"
 

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Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
 

 

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Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
 
Yep, I suck at drawing with Paint...
 

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Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
 
flowers in a vase = arse

doctor spock = cock

can of mace = face

length of rubber hose = nose

one thousand elastic bands = hands

ok, they're not foodstuffs, but
 

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Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by Abby:
My local tramp in Belsize Park (I know! I didn't think there would be tramps there either, I think they escape up from Camden occasionally) is Big Thumb man. He has one thumbnail that is about 10cm long, thick, yellow and curved. He goes on the tube and shouts "Don't come near me! Don't touch me! I'm ill!"

---

Like this?


 

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Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
It is almost like you were there!
 

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Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by 69 Comeback Elvis:
packet of smash = gash

---

I think Victoria sponge would work better there.
 

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Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
 
I like the way that in Ringo's drawing the tramp is wearing Nike.
 

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Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
Yesterday I got trapped in a lift with him because he was between me and the door, and he doesn't like to leave the lift until everyone else is out the way, but also he doesn't like people to walk past him to get to the door (it is about 2 m wide). Eventually I had to slide past him with my back to the wall and he stood against the other wall.
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
read the bit here on beta about the cambridge bin busker. (about halfway down). it is my loaf-of-bread man! yay! and do go and look at the photo of him busking in the bin. it is qualitats.

[ 25.09.2004, 10:21: Message edited by: discodamage ]
 

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Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
Disco you fucker - I never saw this tred first time around and for a moment there I thought that 69Elvis had Comeback and that Raz and London were posting again.

 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
yeah, where is elves? i miss him.
 

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Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
 
I just love the discoart.
 

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Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
I posed the same question three weeks ago and did not receive a satisfactory response.

 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
is noone in p(enis)mail contact with elves? someone must be. surely hes not dead.

the last time i saw raziel he said that his attention had been thieven away from tmo by a DIFFERENT forum which was posted on by about 17 people, all of whom had been made admin for some reason. so they just ran around editing each other's posts and causing rucks. this sounded like a lot of fun to me, but raz said i wouldnt enjoy it much because i was a girl. or something.
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
Maybe Elvis could genuinely be in trouble. Or maybe he's is just contemplating the fact, like Ringo did when he thought about getting someone to post that he was dead to see who would cry the most.
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
do you think if i threaten to post an photograph of elvis' face on the boards he will come back to us? i do own such a thing.
 

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Posted by Modge (Member # 64) on :
 
comeback elvis
 

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Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
Or maybe he's is just contemplating the fact, like Ringo did when he thought about getting someone to post that he was dead to see who would cry the most.

---

I am genuinely fuckin dis custard.

The last lingering vestigal iota of a sliver of respect I had for Ringo has melted like a fleck of ice on the hottest part of a barbeque on the side of a volcano on the surface of the sun.
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
I may have made that up though.
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
it sounds like exactly the kind of thing rongo would do though, lets face it.
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
That's what is quite worrying though. It is incredibly believable isn't it? You imagine him, sat in a Smart car, with tinted windows. Hand on engorged meat, the other holding binoculars, spitting white flecks of rage from his mouth as he scans the taut faces on TMO-ers at his funeral.

"Come on you fuckers! I don't see your tears!"

*Mash! Nead! Mash!*

[ 27.09.2004, 09:00: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
 

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Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
lolol
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 

 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
I know.

Currently I am having a fantasy.

Ringo is stood in rollerblades that had all sorts of high powered jet modifications on them. He is wearing nothing else except from his leather thong that he famously posed in on the 'piccurs' thread and an aquatic blue helmet with an aerodynamic fin on the top. He is holding Abby on a leash and she is kicking me to death as I am strapped to a hard wooden chair.

I am sat on my wheely chair and I am rocking backwards and forwards with a thin, tightly pinched smile creeping across my face. it quivers slightly like a singular gill, drawing in air.
 

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Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
 
NWOD, I think London's broken you already. You shouldn't be having RingoFants for at least another four months.
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
It may have done.

I retreated back to Swindon on Saturday night.

There was a pretty girl on the train smiling at me and I was stunned. So stunned was I that I looked back as I was walking away from the carriage and face-planted one of the pillars with such force that it shattered my glasses and I fell around it and straight onto the floor. As I looked up through cracked frames she had just enough time to laugh at my misfortune and bloody face.

This may have shaken me up a little.

[ 27.09.2004, 09:58: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
 

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Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
I haven't ruled out the possibility that pretty girls will smile at random young men out of the blue and for no other reason than to cause the sort of chaos you describe. They're such pranksters.
 

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Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
 

quote:

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Originally posted by froopyscot:
pretty girls... They're such pranksters.

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Mmmmmmmmmm, Brigeeeeeeete, je t'adore. What ees that you say? Yes, yes, of course I will always adore you. What could ever change these feelings?



Yeeeaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh.
 

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Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by dang65:



Yeeeaaaaarrrrrrrrrgh.

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quote:

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Originally posted by discodamage:
what does lacoste handbag mean?

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quote:

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Originally posted by London:
Confused as to. People who are avowed feminists allowing Dang´s astounding ageist and sexist commentary go unreprimanded. Know that Dang is frequently amusing poster, plus rides bike, flies kites and dreams of living on houseboat. Nonetheless. His joke that ageing is a ´prank` played on men by pretty girls = comment displaying surprising amount of unsophistication for man such as he. Idea that Discodamage would let this one pass in favour of political idealism even more shocking. Though BNP and animal whatnot of course deeply henious etc, thought avowed feminazi - or rather, woman fighing on female side (and yes, sometimes, though not always c.f. Thorn Davis´ comment, this is a war) - Disco might have nonetheless called Dang up on his ´joke´. Can only assume off-day. Happens to us all. Or. I am wrong in finding Dang´s comment offensive. No doubt. Am out of practice after all. And drunk. But still.

---

Nah it is offensive. I mean, how dare she look her age? At her age? Crazy!

But couldn't be bothered to comment on this because wasn't posting today. And, also, yeah, cuz:

(a) she's a peta nutter
(b) and nf bigot
(c) good liberals wear burkhas
(d) and washed up ugly old harridan that betrayed the world in the sixties by not killing herself unlike that modern day joan of arc, marilyn monroe
(e) and she was defined by her sexuality and body and stuff, so she's asking for it really
(f) or at the very latest the seventies, the rude bitch. c'mon! if male wank fantasies can't be preserved pristine for all eternity, then what is the point of anything


Wish I was drunk

[ 28.09.2004, 19:30: Message edited by: vikram ]
 

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Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
Vikram =
(c) washed up ugly harridan that really out to have killed herself in the sixties like that joan of arc, monroe
(d) or at the very latest the seventies. women getting old is just rude

Why add these comments?
 

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Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
I mean, post-edit. They weren´t there before.
 

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Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
 
i just edited again!

it's still shit.
 

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Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
 
no more edits. i will leave it's shitness for all to see tomorrow. don't know why i added.

i am very very very very very bored. am trying to decide between the good girl (jennifer aniston and that weirdo twat. ennui. good) and robocop (awesome. seen way too many times) and bed.
 

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Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
 
sorry.


are you well?
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
things have come to a pretty pass when someone who cant even be arsed to post any more has a go at me for not having a go at dang for being sexist. dude, you completely fuck off, and then shout at me for not feeling able to carry your share of the wimmins eternal burden on top of my own. bollocks to that. its not 2002 any more, no chicks are fucking posting, i cant rely on anyone having my back if i stick my neck out. least of all you, bitch.

[ 28.09.2004, 19:58: Message edited by: discodamage ]
 

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Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
I think - no, wait, I know - that when I started posting in the year 856BC there were no other decent women posting then either, but that didn´t stop me back in the day, did it? Do we have to believe that only when other wimminz have got our back do we dare to open our mouths? Do two female moutbs equal one male one? Are there really no females posting now? What of, um. Louche. Flidomel? Que mas hay? Hippychick? Louise? Helen Back? Bailey? Are you really implying that none of them would rise to counter Dang´s sexist challange? That you and I - I, who, as you point out, am unable to post at present, for my new boyfriend allows me but minimal access to the computer - are the only people here, apart from Thorn Davis, who might fly the flag for the anti-ageist-argument? I find that a shocking, nay, frightening thought. Have things really come to this?
 

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Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
 


[ 28.09.2004, 20:23: Message edited by: vikram ]
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
it was a quiet day. its been a quiet quarter-year. no, i dont think phlegmel and helen back are gonna fly the flag, youre just being silly now. if gail, hippy, louche or astro were gonna they would have done. they didnt. i had to go to work. youre in spain. ill be a shouty feminist when i feel like it. dont feel like it. fuck off. start posting again.

[ 28.09.2004, 20:20: Message edited by: discodamage ]
 

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Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
If there were more offensive posts like Dang´s on here to counter, I probably would.

cries

[ 28.09.2004, 20:30: Message edited by: London ]
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 
i wondered how long that would take.
 

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Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
 
London, I'm afraid your posts here sound either parodic or unhinged.

quote:

---

Originally posted by London:
allowing Dang´s astounding ageist and sexist commentary go unreprimanded. His joke that ageing is a ´prank` played on men by pretty girls = comment displaying surprising amount of unsophistication for man such as he.

---

quote:

---

woman fighing on female side (and yes, sometimes, though not always c.f. Thorn Davis´ comment, this is a war)

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quote:

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Originally posted by kovacs:
it'd read like a convention of bag ladies.

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quote:

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Originally posted by dang65:
I notice that my use of a French person has been allowed to pass without comment. You racist bastards.

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quote:

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Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
Oi - it's not yet been decided whether you were right or wrong. You need to keep your mouth shut until the board decides what to do with you.

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I also used a stereotypical blonde as my victim.

I only ask that all these offences be taken into consideration in your summing up, Your Honour.
 

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Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 

Ooh la la! Sexy, n'est pas?
 

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Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by London:
my new boyfriend allows me but minimal access to the computer

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quote:

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Originally posted by London:
my new boyfriend allows me but minimal access to the computer

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Jesus. No wonder they call him 'The Abuser'.
 

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Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
 
Who is this monster? Or, perhaps, it was a fembot-esque jokk?
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
Sounds kinda kinky.


 

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Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
 
I read Dang's post as having been made with a tongue so firmly ensconced in cheek that he might have been a man sporting a single mump (not incredible, either, as mumps are on the rise in the Manchester area, prompted sterility terrors in scallies - what would the pro-breeders think of that!) A lot of the reason I thought this is because it were posted by Dang and I somehow believe that whilst he might have some less than sound but usually entertaining rants, a post with a couple of pictures and comedy remarks really didn't symbolise a wholesale sexist/ageist ethos demeaning to women. If anything, I assumed it was a play on what Bardot had become morally and politically, rather than aesthetically.

quote:

---

if gail, hippy, louche or astro were gonna they would have done. they didnt.

---

quote:

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Originally posted by Louche:
Assuming lack of response resulting from lack of interest/engagement in the discussion is a bit off, mate.

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quote:

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Originally posted by kovacs:
Hippychick, Louche, Astromariner, Gail as tag-team partners for Discodamage and, on special occasions, London.

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Sounds like a cast of TMO Girls: Where The Boys Aren't actually.

[ 29.09.2004, 09:06: Message edited by: froopyscot ]
 

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Posted by The Preacher (Member # 726) on :
 
Brigitte Bardot is a Nazi ? When did this happen ? And why wasn't I informed ?
 

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Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by kovacs:
tag-team partners for Discodamage and, on special occasions, London.

All other women on TMO, please get on with posting about shoes, chocolate and kittens.

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disco: admit it. you loved the female eunuch.

vogon: needed. more... elves...

[ 29.09.2004, 09:22: Message edited by: discodamage ]
 

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Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
In France they force-feed Muslims until their livers become engorged.
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 


disco, admit it. you'd love to feel my nunchucks.

disco: nott...in....HELL!!!
 

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Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by discodamage:

quote:

---

Originally posted by Louche:
Assuming lack of response resulting from lack of interest/engagement in the discussion is a bit off, mate.

---

i know. its the sort of thing a drunk person would do, isnt it.

---

quote:

---

Originally posted by Louche:
Apart from the fact it is impossible to do this without sounding like Vikram. ie. a twat.

---

 

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Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
That's fucking harsh, Louche. Vikram is one of the good guys here.

 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
The burly man and his short dwarfish companion entered the dark passage of the cave. The stout red haired dwarf held a torch aloft and perched it on a scond that was hammered into the hardened wall.

The air was filled with what seemed to be warm breath. The fierce barbarian put his hand on the dwarfs shoulder.

'Steady, Newar Darkar. t'path ends here. We've entered the lair'

'Sorry Bendroth' I'm a fair nervous, we must be close...the air is m..moist' He shuddered, but it was not cold inside the tunnels of Moon.

The passage opened up into a cavern that seemed to swallow light. Inside were hundreds of white threads hung from a ceiling with swept further than the eye could see.

'What are these Bendroth? they are curious' he asked, in an inquisitive child like manner.

'These, are the mind threads. It's said that these were once placed here by a genie, called Dar Rynn. They are meant to capture the thoughts of many travellers who sought the caves of Moon' he said in an awed whisper. 'It was only when, a creature, from far away, travelled here to place it's thoughts amongst the others, within these white threads, that it became a place of evil'

'right' said Newar. A thread was blown softly against his cheek. It had many scrawlings in many different languages.

'It was here, the lord Vikram fell' Bendroth said with an air of wonder. 'You see the beautiful voiced creature turned. She cocooned herself amongst the very lower depths of this cavern. She waited, until it was time'

'Time for what' replied the dwarf nervously.

'Unfettering' whispered Bendroth and paced forward a step.

A piercing scream filled the air and the travellers startled. Threads were blown everywhere and a creature flew up, scattering white strands like lightning. The companions threw themselves to the floor and tried to focus on what was happening. The winged creature was not one of beauty, but of horror. It had long tendrils which slashed upwards and downwards, cutting threads into pieces. Some limbs left sticky venomous deposits on threads, that seemed to scream as they were touched.

The barbarian filled his boar hair trunks with the excrement of a previous campfire dinner.

'L...Louche' he stammered.

[ 29.09.2004, 12:56: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
 

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Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
 
lol, NWOD = on form & seemingly chronically lacking in work to do today
 

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Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
 
Rock.
 

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Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
 
That was an excerpt from 'Blood and Gor' which will be available in time for christmas. You may want to familiarise yourself with previous Gorian legacy books, from all good cardboard boxes, available before long train journeys.


 

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Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
 
I made Vikram do a sad! I feel like I have just kicked an apparently innocent but potentially retaliative kitten in its warm fur tummy. Whilst wearing steelies.

If it's any consolation, Vikram, I had just had an emotionally and mentally draining half hour telephone conversation with my sister, which is roughly equivalent to being flailed 40 times with a stout handled cat o' nine tails, and therefore can be considered to have self flagellated already for any offence caused.
 

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Posted by Gail (Member # 21) on :
 
stupid stop button.

[ 29.09.2004, 16:41: Message edited by: Gail ]
 

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Posted by Gail (Member # 21) on :
 

quote:

---

Originally posted by ben:
Vikram is one of the good guys here.

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quote:

---

Originally posted by ben:
That's fucking harsh, Louche. Vikram is one of the good guys here.

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