I have just met the human embodiment of SPAM. Walking through Reading town centre, I was accosted by a clipboardy lad who asked me if I had a job. Unusually, I wasn't quick enough to avoid said man, so I thought I'd see what he had to say - for a laugh.
ClipboardMan: Do you have a job
Misc: Yes
ClipboardMan: What would you think about earning £300 a week
Misc: Not much. I'm on £2x,000 at the moment and I have a mortgage to pay.
ClipboardMan: Oh Right. Hang on. Er... We have some supervisor jobs too. You could earn £1,000 a week!
Misc: Right, yeah.
ClipboardMan: And we'll give you a company car!
Misc: Right, OK.
ClipboardMan: So you're interested? Great - here's my number. Phone me tomorrow at 4.00pm and I'll give you a phone interview.
Misc: I didn't say I was interested. Wait - I'm supposed to phone you?
ClipboardMan: Er. I can phone you if you want.
Misc: No. It's alright.
ClipboardMan: OK - I can tell by the way you talk that you'd be great in this job. look I'll guarantee you a supervisor's position.
Misc: You're offering me a £52,000 a year job, just like that?
ClipboardMan: For real - hand on heart!
Misc: [wanders off to buy a disposable lighter and post a letter]
Today, I am dressed down. Way down. So far down that I'm wearing an army jacket (£1, Camden Market) and a pair of DMs. Oh and some trousers. I found it quite amusing that I obviously looked like a jobless student twunt to this guy. He looked pretty shocked when I told him what I earnt, and that I had a mortgage.
But the big question is: What was the job? He never mentioned anything about what the job involved. What's the scam?
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
Or of course, you wearing boots and an army jacket, it could be the MOD's latest v-poor attempt at getting people to enlist in the armed forces
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Dunno, but for 52k right now I'd be his bumchum.
Posted by turbo (Member # 593) on :
I sometimes get flyers shoved under the door handle of my car telling me I can earn humungous amounts of money per week. The rest of the details are really shady and if you read between the lines, probably entail you going into prostitution/drug-dealing. I always wonder who actually calls these people and what the job really is. Maybe I'll call them one day, just out curiosity...
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by turbo: The rest of the details are really shady and if you read between the lines, probably entail you going into prostitution
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Dunno, but for 52k right now I'd be his bumchum.
I should go back to being a recruitment consultant
[ 02.09.2004, 09:50: Message edited by: Waynster ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by turbo: Maybe I'll call them one day, just out curiosity...
And there's your answer, usually. It's the calling back, or the text messaging back even, which brings the cash in for them. They'll either keep you on hold for three hours at 5 poun a minute, or charge £408.92 per text message. They can do this, legally. Until the TV documentary people get onto them, then they have to change their names and shit before they can carry on exactly as before. Terrible nuisance it is.
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: They can do this, legally. Until the TV documentary people get onto them, then they have to change their names and shit before they can carry on exactly as before. Terrible nuisance it is.
Except, of course, for the dozens of TV progs that use precisely the same technique to pay for the prizes they seem so keen to give away. You know "For your chance to win that family trip to Disneyworld, just tell us what Tom Selleck's famous facial feature was. Is it A:Paris Hilton, B:A small Buddha, or C:a moustache. Dial blah to leave your answer".
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Talking about scams, my eldest lad's secondary school have had a complete re-design of their uniform this year - jumpers, ties, sports kit, the lot. It's like a footie team putting out a new strip for the fans to buy. We've managed to avoid a lot of it because he's not taking sports as a GCSE option (or whatever the term is) and only needs shorts and one shirt. The ones that have taken the option have to get Rugby kit, Soccer kit, Cricket kit, Tennis kit, all the shit.
Anyway, it's still cost us £29... just for a school jumper!! This is a comprehensive remember, not a blazers and boaters sort of place. Thing is, there's been no mention in any of the literature about the school taking a cut of the profits. They must be, surely. If they are then I would actually not mind so much, because it's a fund raising trick and fair play to them. If they aren't then someone needs to check out the headmaster's links with the uniform manufacturer and the one shop that's licensed to sell it.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by Octavia: "For your chance to win that family trip to Disneyworld, just tell us what Tom Selleck's famous facial feature was. Is it A:Paris Hilton, B:A small Buddha, or C:a moustache. Dial blah to leave your answer".
I hope the answer is Paris Hilton... Just imagine her there perched atop Toms manly face...
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
That is outrageous! How can they justify having so many different PE kits, let alone fucking up all the families who have been diligently passing the eldest kids uniform down through generations. Id be top of the queue with a stern letter...
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: That is outrageous! How can they justify having so many different PE kits, let alone fucking up all the families who have been diligently passing the eldest kids uniform down through generations. I'd be top of the queue with a stern letter...
I hear you. We did the stern letter which is how we got out of buying all the other kit (I think they made up the rule about the GCSE option to placate us). They've even brought in a compulsory school track suit (for the option suckers). This school has Sports Academy status or something. They're actually proud of that fact! Duh.
Posted by StevieX (Member # 91) on :
Remember that this is Cheshire though, Dang. I imagine quite a few parents would be extremely peeved if the jumper wasn't at least £29...
Posted by StevieX (Member # 91) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Id be top of the queue with a stern letter...
Aah! So suddenly we do want kids.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: [QUOTE]Originally posted by Abby: [qb]This school has Sports Academy status or something. They're actually proud of that fact! Duh.
yeah like having kids doing well at something is terrible.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: yeah like having kids doing well at something is terrible.
Well you wouldn't want to spawn one of those captain-of-netball-team thicko types would you?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote: Aah! So suddenly we do want kids.
Lord no! It's just the prospect of spending vast amounts of cash on sportswear upsets me.
In my day, in my day I tell you we had one PE kit all year round, whatever t'sport. Red net ball skirt and red knee length socks. Nice.
Except for swimming obviously. And except for the boys who had rather nice black & white rugby tops, the fucks.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo:
quote:Originally posted by dang65: This school has Sports Academy status or something. They're actually proud of that fact! Duh.
yeah like having kids doing well at something is terrible.
It doesn't seem to have anything to do with being good at sport, it's just a question of what you're least bad at. Either that or the headmaster's gone, "Right, Sports Academy looks like the best bet. [calculator tapping] £180 per pupil for sports kit x 1000 pupils = 180 grand. Ten percent for me.... equalssss... ooh! 18 thousand quid. Sweet."
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
isn't the sports academy home of the upcoming stars of football teams? i know my old school in derbyshire is supposed to be. all the kids at the derby county academy do their schooling there. is that not the case here?
where's stevie x's input when i need it?
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: upcoming stars of football .. derby county
lol * 1 million Posted by mooch (Member # 730) on :
Do the new uniforms have corporate logos on the front?
This school sponsored by Vodafone! Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Sorry, it's not Sports Academy, it's Specialist Sports College. You decide which is more pretentious.
From a news site:
Across the region schools awarded specialist college status included Harper Green School, Bolton, (arts); Coney Green High School, Radcliffe; Tarporley Community High School, Cheshire (mathematics and computing); Holmes Chapel Comprehensive School, Cheshire (science); Wilmslow High School, Cheshire (sport); The Verdin High School, Winsford, (technology); North Manchester High School for Girls, Moston, (science); Our Lady's RC High School, Higher Blackley (sport); Wardle High School, Rochdale (arts); St Patrick's RC High School, Eccles (arts);The Kingsway School, Stockport (mathematics and computing); Sale Grammar School, Sale (arts); St Antony's RC High School, Urmston (business and enterprise); Lowton Community High School, Warrington (sport).
See that? Arts, Mathematics and Computing, Business and Enterprise, Science. What do we get? Sports. It's not as if the millions of famous football players that live round here would even dream of sending their kids to that school.
Posted by The Preacher (Member # 726) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Misc: Not much. I'm on £2x,000 at the moment and I have a mortgage to pay.
You earn two grand a week ? What are you, an arms dealer ? Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Radcliffe
Dang, where do you live, man? That's my old school Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Physic:
quote:Originally posted by damo: upcoming stars of football .. derby county
lol * 1 million
tom huddlestone, lee holmes, lee camp. all in the under 21s.
don't mock me farmer boy.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by The Preacher: You earn two grand a week ? What are you, an arms dealer ?
No. I meant twenty-something thousand. The fact that it per annum is merely implied.
Funnily enough, I have a pay review today. I'll still be on £2x,000 though.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: I'm wearing an army jacket (£1, Camden Market) and a pair of DMs. Oh and some trousers.
I can't believe they let people like you have jobs.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo:
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Radcliffe
Dang, where do you live, man? That's my old school
That's a bit weird. I think it's a typo that one being in there. I just C&Ped the lump of text from a news article.
Posted by mooch (Member # 730) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: tom huddlestone, lee holmes, lee camp. all in the under 21s.
I briefly worked with the England under 20s last year. They were so up their own arse I felt like screaming "It means you're not good enough for the under 21's!!"
But they are earning more than £300 a week! So who am I to judge?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: That's a bit weird. I think it's a typo that one being in there. I just C&Ped the lump of text from a news article.
Oh yeah, because let's face it, there's no way I ever went to a good school...
Although it could well be another Radcliffe. I am assuming you're not in East Anglia then?
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
The scam - don't you have to have a dedicated 0890 or something number for it to make vast sums?
My old school is now proudly a sports specialist community centre (mainly because there are only four kids every year who actually can read to pass any of the "arts" or humanities subjects), they did a uniform rebrand a few years back when they went from school to community college, but only in that they stopped producing ties and everybody had to wear a school jumper.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Ringo, Dang lives in Cheshire with all the other 4x4 driving poshos. Don't you ever pay any attention?
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This is a comprehensive remember, not a blazers and boaters sort of place. Thing is, there's been no mention in any of the literature about the school taking a cut of the profits. They must be, surely. If they are then I would actually not mind so much, because it's a fund raising trick and fair play to them. If they aren't then someone needs to check out the headmaster's links with the uniform manufacturer and the one shop that's licensed to sell it.