Benemies among you will no doubt be delighted to hear that I crashed my car, the week before last. Involved in an eight-car pile up, no less. So! So much for me being able to pontificate about safe drinving ever again.
Anyway. That no one was hurt is, I suppose, the most important thing. But. I just heard from my insurer the 'market value' of my written-off car is around a third of what I'd reasonably hoped for. What galls the most is that there's no way in this God's hell that I'll find a car remotely as good as my poor little deceased thing for anywhere like as little as this utterly spurious 'market value'.
Also: having flogged my innards out to get decent(BBC online frontpage! The Times! The Independent! Reuters!) coverage for a story last week I spoke to the internal client today and did I get so much as a thankyou for any of that? Well - you would have hoped so, but you would have hoped in vain, I'm afraid.
So. Feeling at a bit of a grotty ebb, I'm sorry to say.
Anyone got anything to cheer us all up with, of a Monday afternoon?Posts: 8657
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posted
I'm going to be entering my 27th year next month, homeless, in debt, and single! If that doesn't bring a smile to people's faces then the world is a sadder place than I'd given it credit for.
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quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I'm going to be entering my 27th year next month, homeless, in debt, and single! If that doesn't bring a smile to people's faces then the world is a sadder place than I'd given it credit for.
Oh, happy days. Two for the price of none.
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Sorry to hear about your crash and the writing off of your motor Ben, very pleased to hear no one was hurt.
I don't know if it'll cheer people up, but the play I have been actor-directing went very well over it's three night run, and I'm still suffering from the after party where I met officially nice South Africans.
[ 13.09.2004, 08:07: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
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Well, Ben, now, I'm very sorry to hear about your accident and subsequent rubbish-value-of-car thing. To cheer you up, you'll be pleased to hear about the revolution that's happening in the world of Scalextric: you can now race up to six cars on one slot, and change lanes at the flick of a switch!
Quite exciting, isn't it? In other news, I applied for a job with a New York Hispanic advertising agency yesterday. I bet they play Scalextric all the time.
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Ben - the advice I was given on here when the insurance company tried to skank me following my crash was good; getting an independent valuation of your vehicle from a suitably reputable car person. Even threatening this caused my insurance company to up their settlement by £300 (they had already offered me a £100 increase, which I declined). £300 was worth an extra 10%, so definitely better than a poke in the nuts with a knitting needle.
As for cheery, well, I feel that I may just be the chirpiest geezer in the whole of Yorkshire right now. So much so, that I'm off to do some gardening. That's not really going to cheer anyone up though is it, rather it will make me the annoying chirpy bastard that everyone wants to lamp just for being so damn happy.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
[ 13.09.2004, 08:11: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Ben the car crash thing is pants. Dealing with insurance companies is only slightly less humanity-crushing than being in the centre of a crowd of Rangers fans on a good day out at Ibrox.
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I watched a man in a suit run for the bus. He was glaring around to see if anyone would see him run and to avoid looking embarrassed, ran without bending his knees and elbows. His limbs were like ice lolly sticks as he tried to chase the bus, not quite fast enough. Then as it sailed away from his rag doll flailing apparent non-embarrasment style, he shook his arms and head with frustration and held one arm up almost as if the bus would see him and reverse 50 foot to pick him up.
While I was amused by this, I walked back into the building to see a lady crying out that she couldn't use her legs. A doctor ran over and as if he was the messiah, held both hands and she stood up, with ease and looked at him as if his very touch bore magical powers. Her children were sat, unimpressed, perhaps use to this behaviour and they reminded me of the scene in Full metal Jacket where the soldiers are crouched in cover as all these things go on around them.
wha evry buddy talk about the bud/the bird bubububba bubba bud is thu wud
If the image of this didn't amuse one iota, than big at car shiz.
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I'm sorry to hear about the car crash and subsequent cocking from your insurance company, Ben. Stevie's suggestion seems a good one and worth a try.
In terms of cheering up potential, J swears by tuning in to an episode of Knightrider. He is a naturally morose person but seeing The Hass getting up to adventures in his leather blouson always puts a smile on his little face.
For example, the most recently watched episode featured Michael trying to fix a broken down Kit in the middle of the desert. This followed on from the previous episode in which Michael got into scrapes with his evil twin Garth Knight (played by The Hass sporting a false goatee beard). Out of a sense of loyalty, Kit decided to take on Garth's evil vehicle - a monster truck called Goliath. Hence, Kit's current predicament in the desert.
Anyway. Michael is scratching his head, trying to figure out how to mend Kit when he remembers the EDS (Emergency Design Schematics) kept under the driver's seat (where else?) He fishes them out, ponders them and then shrugs saying "It's all Greek to me!!" Which makes him a big idiot stuck in the desert whilst wearing a leather blouson.
I know that this features cars and that but I hope it still makes you smile a little bit. If not, there are many other humourous episodes of Knightrider to be enjoyed on Bravo, or wherever it is they are screened.
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Thanks for your kind words, people - especially Stevie's useful-sounding advice. I feel like a bit of a fraud whining about something so trivial when I 'escaped without a scratch' but, you know, sometimes these things get to you. It was a great little car - Seat Ibiza, never had a single problem with it, even though it was ten years old and had 120k on the clock. Last MOT it barely cost me £40 to get it through.
I suspect I'll have to 'upgrade' to some sort of Volvo or spacewagon given impending arrival of you-know-what. Posts: 8657
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quote:Originally posted by ben: I suspect I'll have to 'upgrade' to some sort of Volvo or spacewagon given impending arrival of you-know-what.
What, your fifties?
There are plenty of cars out there which are both fun and practical. Unless you're planning on popping a few more out, just about anything with a full compliment of doors is going to be practical enough and most cars made within the last few years are safe enough too.
An Ibiza with 120k, though. You're talking between £800 and £1500?
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Insurance companies are cock-knockers. When my dear old lady Saab got nicked, AdmiArse wouldn't pay me anything, saying it wasn't worth any more than the excess of a princely £150. And THEY wonder why there are so many uninsured drivers around.
As for cheering strategies, how about a quick squiz at the Tommy Vance-hosted Dumb and Dumber. The clips of people blowing themselves up/falling down holes, etc, are standard fare, but his commentary causes R to crease with mirth. 'The name's Vance. Pronounced Vance.' aaaah *wipes eye*
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I'd get every penny I could out of the insurance company. After all, it's exactly what they've been doing to you for the past X years
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quote:Originally posted by Ringo: An Ibiza with 120k, though. You're talking between £800 and £1500?
Yes - my insurers were talking £500 which, given its condition, FSH etc is, I think, taking the fucking piss.
I don't know. D had a company car and I doubt the company will let her keep it for the six months she's planning off. I think we'll have to talk about what's practical. I would be inclined to go with Seat again (good car to have a crash in, fwiw) but recommendations for others that'd be particularly good would be very welcome.
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Oh, happy days. Two for the price of none.
Sadly (for you - happily for me), my recently married friends are taking me in for four months. I think they're viewing it as an opportunity to decide whether or not they're ready to look after a child.
So - and this may cheer ben up or he may not give a fuck - on Friday when news of my immeninent expulsion from my current flat broke, I was inundated with offers of help, support and housing as my friends flocked to help me out. It was a genuinely touching moment and I realised how much of a truly special thing it is to be surrounded by friends and family willing to put themselves at an inconvenience just to help me out. None of this "o - well we've just moved in and we really need to get settled. Under other circumstances it'd be different". It was more like "You're coming to live with us and that's that." I felt loved!
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It depresses me that you're only 26, Thorn. I was 26 when I started on SeeMO - which seems like a lifetime ago. I would look upon your new start with these - almost! - surrogate parents as a chance to start again and get that book written. Yes?
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shall i tell The Tiger Shark fact again? when a female tiger shark is ready to give birth the baby tiger sharks have a fight in her fishwomb, and the baby that wins- ie, KILLS ALL THE OTHER BABIES- is the one that gets born! FUCKING HELL!
i am struggling with a black dog akin to something out of American Werewolf at the moment and even i cant hold back a smile at The Tiger Shark Fact.
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ben you could take great comfort in the fact that you did not wander disappointed around memphis and gracelands. just two weeks ago. memphis is ok. but gracelands is very disappointing. especially with a hangover and two parents in tow. or should that be toe? i don't know i didn't do too well on the bbc quiz.
so gracelands, quite disappointing in that you join the end of the snaking queue of people, and at some point around the jungle lounge area you realise you're now in the middle of the snaking queue and you thought that your claustrophobia had been dealt with but you're starting to get little panicky attacks. and you'r not sure if thats because of the hangover, the fact that your parents don't seem to be able to cope with the audio guide provided, the huge throbbing mass of fat americana all around you, or a combination of all of these plus the fact you've got a 200 mile drive to face when you get out of this place.
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lol - oh dear. Thanks Saltrock. Sidney, Mart and Vogon also cheered me up.
Snorton made me smile when I imagined him trapped in a burning vehicle, the charred leather palms of his string-backed driving gloves skidding around the inside of the blackened windshield as he struggles vainly to force his way out.
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scrawny
One Mojito, two Gin and Tonics, Three Bacardi Lime Sodas, and a couple of pints of Stella please.
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Hey Ben. Sorry about your crash - I know the feeling of being grateful to be alive subsides very quickly when you see the damage to your car...
In other news, the thing that is cheering me up this week - apart from the tiger shark fact - is that this week I am being paid to go clubbing on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, to wherever I want, with guestlist and expenses covered, in order to look at what trainers people are wearing and what drinks they like.
This is just ridiculous/hilarious. I am currently going through Time Out with a red pen, and then giving it to my bosses PA from where she will organise me VIP passes for myself and one lucky person.
I even get Friday morning off to do it
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quote:Originally posted by scrawny: I am being paid to go clubbing on Thursday, Friday and Saturday, to wherever I want, with guestlist and expenses covered, in order to look at what trainers people are wearing and what drinks they like.
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