You know there are some things you know and some things you don't know and you can drift quite happily through your daily routine, through life, without ever being bothered by them? Things that are just part of your knowledge base (like knowing virtually all tortoiseshell cats are girls and all ginger cats are boys) or not. But sometimes this ignorance comes and smacks you between the eyes, and you think, how can I not have known this? Can you have a damascene revelation (I've been puzzling over this usage)? Anyhow, light flooding eyes and searing brain. Ignorance revealed. Gasps of clarity.
What new knowledge have you gained recently? And did it cause you to berate yourself for gross stupidity?
New knowledge pours into me all the time, most of it stuff I've learned, things I couldn't have hoped to know beforehand. The job has taught me more than I possibly could have hoped, or wanted, to know about mortgages and savings and IHT and the housing market and other financial bobbins. The thrills. But, this is all fine! Useful odds and ends to be filed in the recesses of my brain, to pop up at opportune times. I like to feel I know quite a lot, but sometimes I am harshly disillusioned.
yesterday I staggered myself. I was looking at a variation of Spot the Ball competition and it came to me in a blinding flash (or rather, explanation written under the photo). There is no ball in the picture! When I was younger I used to pore over the things, trying to spot the foot/tennis/rugby ball in the background, or trapped in the undergrowth, or on the skyline. They never told you the rules in the newspapers. Didn't tell you that the damn thing had been airbrushed out and you had to guess it's likely trajectory. But suddenly it seemed obvious, and I felt obscenely foolish.
So, talk about revelations that have made you feel foolish, or snippets of knowledge you just have, or serious cases of 'seeing the light'. Or knowledge = power theory as brushed over in title..
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I think it's a bit fucking sick to start a thread about KNOWLEDGE when this time tomorrow I will be 1 hour and 7 minutes into my Planetary Science exam.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I think it's a bit fucking sick to start a thread about KNOWLEDGE when this time tomorrow I will be 1 hour and 7 minutes into my Planetary Science exam.
Well, you'll be alright if there's a Spot The Planet section.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I'm hoping there'll be a section worth at least 12 marks for colouring in Saturn's rings.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
That kovacs is a name from watchmen. that franz ferdinand is actually the bloke who was shot to start a war. I cant even remember which one! That enola gay was the bom dropped on Hiroshima.
These are a few of the things that have eneterd my knowledge pit of late.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
lol ( x 12)
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by jnhoj: That kovacs is a name from watchmen.
I was reading it last night. So very, very dark, especially in these days of 'dirty bomb' talk.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by jnhoj: That enola gay was the bom dropped on Hiroshima.
I thought it was the plane from which the bom was dropped.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Bom Ringo? Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
fucks sake i cant even get my facts right. it was on irc that this was revealed to me so the haze of fast communication confused me. and i had to have a short story critqued this morning so i am under the weather. Still, I was far too bitchy about everyone elses hurrah!
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
Shit, I made me 1000 post without realised it too, it was going to be monumental, or I was going to leave. Oh how the dogs stack up.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
When a tree has been drastically chopped back, it has been pollarded
Pole-axed comes from the practise of driving a deep spike into the brain of an animal and is an old fashioned manner of humane slaughter
Nothing else is really worth knowing Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche:
When a tree has been drastically chopped back, it has been pollarded
Pole-axed comes from the practise of driving a deep spike into the brain of an animal and is an old fashioned manner of humane slaughter
I don't understand because this woman;
Use to make me feel like I was having a deep spike driven into my brain, in perhaps not a humane way, but more of a slowly gradual dull thumping.
[ 12.10.2004, 08:00: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
Every morning I walk past a sandwich shop called "Roland Butter". I've been walking past it for two years, and vaguely thought of Roland Butter as being a sort of quirkily cool name, such as might be found in a children's cartoon. I only realised last week that it's a devilishly clever pun: I felt pretty stupid then, I can tell you. Although on the plus side, I was thus prepared to chuckle knowingly at "Joanna Goodbite", where I enjoyed an egg roll on the weekend.
Also in my Public Law module I learnt that, all the years I've been airily dropping the phrase "I mean, Britain doesn't even have a written constitution" into drunken conversations about politics, to disguise the fact that I don't understand what everyone is talking about, I have been wrong. Britain does have a written constitution, it's just not codified. An important difference, I think you'll agree!
[ 12.10.2004, 08:07: Message edited by: Astromariner ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: Every morning I walk past a sandwich shop called "Roland Butter". I've been walking past it for two years, and vaguely thought of Roland Butter as being a sort of quirkily cool name, such as might be found in a children's cartoon. I only realised last week that it's a devilishly clever pun: I felt pretty stupid then, I can tell you. Although on the plus side, I was thus prepared to chuckle knowingly at "Joanna Goodbite", where I enjoyed an egg roll on the weekend.
Haw! When you say stuff like this, I want to give you a hug and say 'It's ok, people will forget in time' and 'anybody could have made that mistake'
Tell em about the shoe shop Misc, probably for the fifth time, but for the noobies benefit.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I thought Enola Gay was the plane and Little Boy the bomb? It is a plot device in London Fields anyway -- not a very strong one.
I discovered recently what "chiasmus" means. That was useful.
eta: People should all remember that the Union Jack is the name for the Union Flag when flown at sea. And that Blade Runner is two words. I was reading Number9Dream this morning and it lost a great deal of credibility because of that latter error.
[ 12.10.2004, 08:16: Message edited by: kovacs ]
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel: Can you have a damascene revelation (I've been puzzling over this usage)?
I don't see why this is puzzling. A damascene revelation is surely one like that in the story where "scales fell away" on the road to Damascus.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs:
quote:Originally posted by philomel: Can you have a damascene revelation (I've been puzzling over this usage)?
I don't see why this is puzzling. A damascene revelation is surely one like that in the story where "scales fell away" on the road to Damascus.
This is what I was using it to mean but I had a shadow of doubt, having never heard or seen it written. Dictionary.com definition is: adj 1: of or relating to or characteristic of Damascus or its people; "damascene city gates" 2: (of metals) decorated or inlaid with a wavy pattern of different (especially precious) metals; "a damascened sword" n 1: a native or inhabitant of Damascus [syn: Damascene] 2: a design produced by inlaying gold or silver into steel v : inlay metal with gold and silver so I lost a little faith (ha!).
Astro: good! The other day, glued to The Hits on freeview, I asked my flatmate why it said 'NU4U', reading it as 'en nu for you'. Bloody txt spk. I could argue that I had the principle right, but I don't think it would cut very far.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Parthian Shot/parting shot and balmy/barmy.
It seems they're all correct terms. I used to think that people that said parting shot were thickies that didn't know they were saying Parthian Shot wrong. A Parthian Shot comes from the way the Parthians used to retreat from battle while firing loads of arrows back at the persuing enemy. Which is also what a parting shot is, in many ways.
"You're stupid!"
"You're even stupider!" *SLAM*
"Damn you and your parting shots/Parthian Shots!"
Now, on to balmy and barmy. Again, I had understood barmy to be a mispronounciation of balmy, meaning off on a rather pleasant different planet kind of Cool Mad.
I tried to use balmy in an article about jazz astronaut Sun Ra once and the editor corrected it to barmy, which had more of a we're-off-to-Wemberleee sort of Lad Mad feel in my view.
I tried to argue the point but was over-ruled by a majority. The majority being lots of people who had never heard the term balmy.
What's this thread about again?
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
Surely balmy = pleasant warm evening-type thing (eg: relaxing on a balmy island) whereas barmy = a bit mad?
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Shhh, we weren't going to let Dang know that we've noticed his encroaching senility.
Posted by sabian (Member # 6) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: The majority being lots of people who had never heard the term balmy.
quote:Princeton Says: 1. balmy, barmy, bats, batty, bonkers, buggy, cracked, crackers, daft, dotty, fruity, haywire, kooky, kookie, loco, loony, loopy, nuts, nutty, round the bend, around the bend, wacky, whacky -- (informal or slang terms for mentally irregular; "it used to drive my husband balmy") 2. balmy, mild -- (mild and pleasant; "balmy days and nights"; "the climate was mild and conducive to life or growth")
I'm happy because of this definition as I thought it was some weird bastardised word that Americans use again cuz we say it when the weather permits.
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel: Surely balmy = pleasant warm evening-type thing (eg: relaxing on a balmy island) whereas barmy = a bit mad?
Knowledge is power, y'see. *SLAM* Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote: 'NU4U', reading it as 'en nu for you'
While at uni the SU bar went through a phase of writing stuff like Vodka! Baccardi! Gin! ATP!!! on the blackbords around the bar. You could tell who the biologists were because they were the puzzled looking ones going "ATP? In the drinks? That doesnt seem right. Why would they put adenosine tri-phosphate in the vodka?"
While everyone else was at the bar buying cheap drinks.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: ATP? In the drinks? That doesnt seem right. Why would they put adenosine tri-phosphate in the vodka?"
[/QB]
is one of them new nrg drinks innit. like red bull is made of cow bollocks.
things that i have learnt: today nothing.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel:
quote:Originally posted by kovacs:
quote:Originally posted by philomel: Can you have a damascene revelation (I've been puzzling over this usage)?
I don't see why this is puzzling. A damascene revelation is surely one like that in the story where "scales fell away" on the road to Damascus.
This is what I was using it to mean but I had a shadow of doubt, having never heard or seen it written. Dictionary.com definition is: adj 1: of or relating to or characteristic of Damascus or its people; "damascene city gates" 2: (of metals) decorated or inlaid with a wavy pattern of different (especially precious) metals; "a damascened sword" n 1: a native or inhabitant of Damascus [syn: Damascene] 2: a design produced by inlaying gold or silver into steel v : inlay metal with gold and silver so I lost a little faith (ha!).
Damascene conversion - as in: Saul of Tarsus changing into Apostle Paul on the Road to Damascus. Having 'seen the light' he was transformed from a persecuter of Christians to their most energetic missionary.
The example quoted by Philomel is as good an example as you'll find why the gadarene rush to embrace electronic resources at the expense of their richer, old media counterparts is such gross folly. Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
'tis laziness. I prefer hard copy but was too sluggish to get up from my swivelly padded chair and trudge the seven metres to the shelf to pick up the Collins.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Jesus, Philomel, Collins is for retards. One should always use the Oxford, you know. God. You are so non-U.
Posted by Kuang (Member # 724) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: The example quoted by Philomel is as good an example as you'll find why the gadarene rush to embrace electronic resources at the expense of their richer, old media counterparts is such gross folly.
You may as well not bother with much of the European literature and art of the last 2,000 years if you don't have at least a working knowledge of the Bible and the Classics.
It's like someone watching Pulp Fiction who's never seen another film.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
:rage:
I'll stick to online in future. GODD. Stupid work making me look even more ignorant. Fuckstrels.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I still find it absolutely fucking mental that blood is made in the middle of your bones! I mean, what the fuck's that all about? Is this a normal, logical thing for a body to do? I don't fucking think so.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
mart if - and I really hope this never happens - you were God, where would you have blood made? What would be a more sensible way of doing things?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I don't know - in a bag or a sac, maybe? Or the heart could make it. But bones? It strikes me as silly.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Do you wanna know why? ...Or do you know already. Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Marts blood concoction; 1 oz. Sauza Hornitos Tequila 1 oz. Rose's Lime Juice 1 oz. Cointreau
Rim the needle with sea salt and fill with ice. Combine ingredients in a shaker half-filled with ice and shake vigorously. Strain into the syringe and chew on a lime.
Instant Mart blood.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I'd have thought it's the ultimate in dual purpose biology - for reasons of lightness/strenght combo yr bones are hollow/honeycomb... why not do something useful with that space? Having one's blood-making kit in some sort of 'sac' would be insane - there are already enough areas in the body that are vulnerable to knife attack by a masked assailant, what would be the benefit of having yet another?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: I don't know - in a bag or a sac, maybe? Or the heart could make it. But bones? It strikes me as silly.
This makes me want to give mart a huge hug! Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kuang: You may as well not bother with much of the European literature and art of the last 2,000 years if you don't have at least a working knowledge of the Bible and the Classics.
It's like someone watching Pulp Fiction who's never seen another film.
That's not really true, because with the first example you have someone who can't judge anything in the form unless they have read specific texts, and in the second you have someone who can't judge a specific text unless they have knowledge of the form as a whole.
Really your parallel should logically be "it's like someone who hasn't seen Pulp Fiction trying to understand film" -- you need to know the specific (Bible/Pulp Fiction) to make sense of the general (art and lit/cinema).
Anyway it clearly doesn't work as a parallel that way -- which doesn't mean your earlier point was worthless. I agree that a working knowledge of the Bible is extremely useful for contextualising a great deal of contemporary cinema, literature and art. Indeed, I read my Bible (New Testament) every Sunday. But what do you mean by "the Classics"?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: This makes me want to give mart a huge hug!
In the same way as hugging Astro when she doesn't find a pizza restaurant called Pepe Ronis' very odd or amusing?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: I'd have thought it's the ultimate in dual purpose biology - for reasons of lightness/strenght combo yr bones are hollow/honeycomb... why not do something useful with that space?
Yes, I had considered this. And yes, it's true; it's pretty neat that such a space can be given such a fantastic function.
Abby: do I want to know why blood is made in the bones? Yeah, sure. I could always reach over for the medical dictionary on the shelf just over there to my right, but if you want to tell me/us, you're most welcome.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I would liek to know why, Abby. Or anyone else who knows why. I always thought that it was odd that blood was made. I mean, don't you just get an allotted amount that goes round and round and round? Though obviously if this were the case, people who gave blood more than, say, twice, would have six pints instead of eight flowing round and would probably fall over a lot.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Ahem. As blood is constantly produced throughout your life there is a lot of cell division going on, which makes the cells more vulnerable to cancer. So the production occurs inside your bones as this gives some protection from various forms of radiation which may otherwise cause mutations in the DNA during replication, and lead to cancer. See?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Oh, and it has to be made all the time because red blood cells dont have a nucleus, so they cannot make new proteins for themselves so they wear out quickly. And white blood cells have to be made in response to a specific disease/infection.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Nice one. God's figured out every angle, hasn't He?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Where do red blood cells go when they are worn out? Do they hide in your toes?
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
I think they come out in your poo.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: I think they come out in your poo.
That's why I've been shitting blood.
:phew!:
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: I think they come out in your poo.
I was going to say that except that I was going to say "you excrete them" because I am posh. I didn't say it because I didn't want to be wrong. But now at least Astro and I can be wrong together in our pink pants.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
They are broken down, then some bits come out in your poo yes.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
The term "nit-picking" is taken from the practice of picking nits and lice from slaves' heads back in the nineteenth century.
It is a term that has been banned, among other rather banal phrases, by some Welsh local authority quango. Well, according to this morning's Metro, at least.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Eating food gives you energy. I realise this is not rocket science, but speaking as someone who consumed only wine, painkillers and caffeine yesterday, and has consumed a sizeable yet still healthy lunch today, I feel in possession of some fairly evangelical zeal about the energy giving properties of bananas.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I just ate some no-points soup. If anyone else here is familiar with no-points soup I would like to give you my handy no-points hint: The flavour of this soup is greatly improved by adding vast handfuls of fresh basil and parsley a couple of minutes before the end of the cooking time. You're welcome.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: The term "nit-picking" is taken from the practice of picking nits and lice from slaves' heads back in the nineteenth century.
[talking to self]
"What's the connection?"
"Oh, I suppose it would refer to prospective buyers trying to get a discount on a slave which had nits, and thus nit-picking."
"Yes, that makes sense. Thanks."
"That's OK. Glad to have been of assistance. See you later."
"Yes. Er, bye then."
"Bye."
"Are you going?"
"I'll, er, stay here actually."
"OK, just don't make too much noise."
"Roger that."
"Roger what?"
"That." *points*
"Ewwww. "
[/talking to self]
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Abby: Oh, and it has to be made all the time because red blood cells dont have a nucleus, so they cannot make new proteins for themselves so they wear out quickly. And white blood cells have to be made in response to a specific disease/infection.
ahem. mammalian red blood cells don't have a nucleus. but avian ones do.
that's not to claim one upmanship, its just being a pedant. sorry.
other things i've learnt: i can now routinely put my contacts in without afear.
[ 13.10.2004, 09:16: Message edited by: damo ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
The origin of the phrase 'taking the piss' 'stems' from the morning erection fellows often have, prompted by a full bladder. When the phrase was coined, such a boner was not considered real, but all for show. If the piss was removed, the bravado would deflate.
My Y key is working now. Oh yyyyyyes.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
quote: mammalian red blood cells don't have a nucleus. but avian ones do.
I have learned that today! Hurrah.
Can't birds also do some freaky sex change thing if you remove some bits? No? Was that [i]in my mind?[i]
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
not sure. but if you graft, bird one brain to bird two brain in an embryon, resulting chick will sing both bird one and bird two songs.
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
In Jurassic Park, some of the dinosaurs changed sex by themselves. I'm not sure if that was because of grafting though: I think it was something to do with frogs.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
yep it was something to do with frogs.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
It was something to do with the frog dna
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
and times of stress i believe.
Posted by squirrelandgman (Member # 201) on :
You know that new ape they have found and how they reckon it might be because of gorillas doing chimps? Or chimps doing gorillas? If I did a gorilla could i make a new ape? If I rubbed a frog on my cock before hand would it help?
Posted by squirrelandgman (Member # 201) on :
I would deffo be stressed if I was doing a gorilla.
I don't think the gorilla would be too calm about it.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Didn't Bill Oddie do a song about that?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Didn't Bill Oddie do a song about that?
quote:Originally posted by herbs: The origin of the phrase 'taking the piss' 'stems' from the morning erection fellows often have, prompted by a full bladder. When the phrase was coined, such a boner was not considered real, but all for show. If the piss was removed, the bravado would deflate.
Is this jokk or are you seriouse? If the latter, I'm calling you out on some totally bogus etymology. Aside from anything else your post shows a distressing ignorange of male biology - the boner has at least to semi-deflate before the piss can be taken... unless you're happy to micturate in Riche's Posture. (Neither, for that matter, do I believe this full-bladder-causing-erection contention... many's the time I've woken to find the one creaking like an overloaded wineskin and yet the other as soft as a mouse. As it were.)
Explain the origin of 'piece of piss' (ie: very easy) convincingly and your credibility might just be restored.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: the boner has at least to semi-deflate before the piss can be taken...
Not true, I managaed to (although it felt like I was pissing hot gravy) after six hours of priapism. The blood had stopped circulating so it was as full and engorged as any erection would be in your life.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
*The Curator of Images pauses, sucks on his moustache, then files NWOD's Pissing Capiscum in the folder already containing BR's Keyboard Wankcrouch and Stealgate's Lucky Cumface.* Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
*Mart looks up 'priapism' in the dictionary. Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I don't understand. The wankcrouch and Cumface are surely faces of mixed concentration/joy. This was more like the face of someone who has slammed the door behind them and remembered the exact location of their front door keys (on top of the kitchen surface) whilst Mr T hammers a salt coated shard of glass into their helmet.
[ 13.10.2004, 18:43: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Morning wood is caused by a combination of factors, including both bladder fullness and the high level of testosterone in the male body in the morning. Didn't the phrase 'taking the piss' infact come from the poor unfortunates in the past who had the fantastic job of removing the fat/grease from wool, a job which required the use of ammonia rich human urine, which they had to collect?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
This morning I learnt that there is a hole in my favourite pair of silver shoes.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
From 'worldwide words' by a Michael Quinion:
It’s usually said that the phrase derives from an older one, piss-proud, which refers to having an erection when waking up in the morning, which is usually attributed to a full bladder (proud here being an obvious pun on its senses of something raised or projecting and of something in which one may take satisfaction).
It’s first recorded, as so many such indecorous expressions are, in Francis Grose’s A Classical Dictionary of the Vulgar Tongue; in the second edition of 1788 he wrote: “Piss-proud, having a false erection. That old fellow thought he had an erection, but his — was only piss-proud; said of any old fellow who marries a young wife”.
This developed into a figurative sense of somebody who had an exaggerated idea of his own importance. So to take the piss is to deflate somebody, to disabuse them of their mistaken belief that they are special. It’s not recorded before the beginning of the twentieth century. Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
But you don't get an erection when you need a piss. The morning piss and morning erection aren't related. That's just stupid. Stupid!
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
The other day I learned how much you could get just by asking nicely.
There's a kaleidoscopic tumble of data out there waiting to be requested, so it can pop into your inbox with a silent ping. Spreadsheets of numbers unfurling at click of mouse, columns of percentages rolling down the page. I'm not normally one to get jittery-excited by staistics, but having spent hours trawling through monstrously unhelpful labyrinthine websites for illusive figures it afforded me a small sigh of pleasure. And all it took was a phonecall, folks.
However, due to an unreasonable loathing of phoning strangers I imagine this will remain a last resort and I'll continue to grossly procrastinate.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel: However, due to an unreasonable loathing of phoning strangers
Oh, I'm glad it's not just me who feels this too. Somewhat unfortunate in my job.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
But... THIS was on the BBC site. It must be correct. Otherwise the fabric of society is surely about to crumble around our ears.
When men sleep, the build-up of urine in the bladder puts pressure on the man's prostate gland, resulting in an erection. In the 17th and 18th Centuries, a man who was thought to be unnecessarily arrogant would be described as 'piss-proud'. The New Canting Dictionary of 1725 contained an entry on 'vain-glorious or ostentatious me' which read:
One that boasts without reason, or, as the Canters say, 'pisses more than he drinks'.
AND...
As the word 'piss' became categorised as vulgar, the phrase was modified - 'taking the micturations', later shortened to 'taking the mickey' (nothing to do with a person called Michael). Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: But... THIS was on the BBC site. It must be correct. Otherwise the fabric of society is surely about to crumble around our ears.
Well, I need a piss right now and... *checks*... nope: no boner. Who are you going to believe? The BBC, or my flaccid cock? If you want proof I'll post a short mpeg video of me not having an erection and then immediately taking a lengthy and much needed slash.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel: However, due to an unreasonable loathing of phoning strangers
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Oh, I'm glad it's not just me who feels this too. Somewhat unfortunate in my job.
I don't think its unreasonable at all, I don't like it either and actually mentioned it in my job interview! Luckily I don't have to do it much because of that. Actually, work related stranger phone calls aren't as bad as personal stranger related phone calls. I just HATE talking on the phone to people I don't know / very well. Seriously, there are about 4 people that I'm comfortable in talking to on the phone, everyone else gets texts or emails if at all possible.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Me too! Email and sms have been my saviours. I would have no social life or, in fact, any work without the wonders of text-based media.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
I love talking to people on the phone if I've spoken to them a few times already, but the first few times are dreadful. I have, in the not too distant past, spent up to ten minutes with caller name displayed on the screen, fingers hovering over the call button, attempting to drum up the confidence to press it. And this over people I know and like. It feels terribly intrusive, like barging in to their personal space. And if it rings and rings you think, o, they don't want to speak to me (advent of mobiles directly connected to increased paranoia).
Unfortunately, a large part of my job involves calling virtual strangers and attempting to convince them to cover stories (however flimsy). I've got to the stage where I know most of my contacts fairly well and can chat as well as 'sell-in', but for the best part of a year the whole process was almost traumatic.
Conversely, I'm always happy for anyone to phone me and will always answer my phone, even to unlisted/unknown numbers.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: But... THIS was on the BBC site. It must be correct. Otherwise the fabric of society is surely about to crumble around our ears.
This man used to work for the BBC.
In fairness the antiquity of the sources is pretty impressive but olde-times etymology did tend to be somewhat less scientific than it is now.
You're also betting against the solid biological evidence of me and Thorn's cocks. That's impossible to disregard - if hard to digest.
[ 14.10.2004, 06:40: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Your cocks have indeed given me something to chew on. My only possible explanations are that:
1 The full-bladder-on-prostate-effect only works when lying down.
2 You are both freaks, Ben having passed his disorder down to his son.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Dear TeenHealthFX,
Is there a reason why I wake up with an erection in the morning? Is this normal?
Signed: Morning Erection
Dear Morning Erection,
Some males wake up with an erection and some don't. Either way, both are completely normal. Studies have shown that men have several erections and arousal periods while in the dreaming phase of sleep called Rapid Eye Movement (REM). Women also experience an arousal response, but it is not marked as easily as an erection is. Also, males are known to have wet dreams (ejaculate) in their sleep and females are known to experience orgasms.
Why this happens in males and females is unknown. Many doctors believe that this may be the body's way of checking itself. For more information on your sexual health, ask your doctor.
Signed: TeenHealthFX
Source taken from www.teenhealthfx.com which is a godsend for any worrying spotty chile.
I was for a while tempted to edit it to say that if you didn't get an erection it's an early sign of incontinence and was going to apply a link in with the text to back it up. But, there are limits to by childish humour in that penis worry is possibly the worse fear for men, ever. Brr.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
God I would be so annoyed if my body had an orgasm while I was asleep. I'd be like "Body, you did that without *me*?!" The thought that my sleep self might be getting some and my awake self not, is not a good one.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
No no, its good - cos you wake up halfway through and go " cor blimey! That was a good dream!"
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
Sleepgasms are excellent.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
Although sometimes disturbing.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Although a little embarrasing when you have them in a strangers bed. For men that is.
Or heavy whumpers.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Yes yes, I can see the potential but my point was at the moment I would rather be fully compos mentis during any type of -gasm not wake up halfway through just in time for the final rousing chorus. I can guarantee that two out of the three respondents there are getting it on a regular basis and so any extra during sleepytime is a bonus so its not the same thing at all.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: I can guarantee that two out of the three respondents there are getting it on a regular basis
Poor Philomel. Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
O ok make that three out of three then
[ 14.10.2004, 08:32: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
And let me hand out some more salt to anyone else who would like it. It's course ground so it'll hurt more. Thanks! Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
No sorry, its my own fault.
Chryste I feel like Alfie Moon Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: And let me hand out some more salt to anyone else who would like it. It's course ground so it'll hurt more. Thanks!
it was a blag,
it currently stands at
Mikee - ne Uber (an underhanded) tw Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
stop quoting me on things I want to afterwards remove!
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I've just eaten the worst pasty I've ever eaten.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: stop quoting me on things I want to afterwards remove!
How can I not? You're like the George Lucas of posting.
this was never the dream I envisioned Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I don't understand that George Lucas boy-loaded comment you made NWoD but I will nevertheless interpret it in my own way and use it to self-flagellate while repeating the mantra "There are only 78 days left of this godawful year!" Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
It was a topical tampering with the original format jape.
If I edit it, you'll lose your point. Do you want this?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I don't think you understand - I'm feeling quite giddy (pasty sweats) and I have to fill out a job application within the next hour. Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Calm down Ben, take some deep breaths.
OK?
Now, can you describe the Pasty in question?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: I don't think you understand - I'm feeling quite giddy (pasty sweats) and I have to fill out a job application within the next hour.
Don't mind us. Does your sweat smell like mashed up beef, potato and pea. Right now I'd like to sit at the window looking out at the rain, drinking a cup of hot bne pasty sweat to comfort me and my asexual existence.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Are you sure it wasn't the meat in the pastry ben? I can only think to say have a cup of peppermint tea and send someone out to get you some pepto bisomol quick sharp!
[ 14.10.2004, 08:56: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Inert flank of swede, Mechanic'ly recovered Meat and damp pastry. Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I'd like to sit at the window looking out at the rain, drinking a cup of hot bne pasty sweat to comfort me and my asexual existence.
I had Smoked Haddock Chowder for my lunch today Mikee, I imagine the experience to be similar.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Smoked Haddock Chowder
I don't know what that is, but my nature makes me want to be jealous of it, and want some. Even if it is just choad powder from a fishes flim flam.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I had more no-points soup for lunch
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
Was it a trad pasty? Or a veg-friendly cheese and onion? Or perhaps a steak and guinness or chicken and lemon or pork and apricot or lamb and and and <brain explodes>
<whimper>
Yesterday someone told me a story about a woman who was in her car when she heard a loud bang and felt something impact on her skull. When she put her hand to the back of her head she felt a gloopy mess of semi-solid substance oozing through her hair. She stayed there for however long it took for the ambulance to arrive, holding her brains in and her head together. Only to be told it was a tin of tomatoes that had flown from her shopping and cracked open on her skull when she jammed on her brakes. Poor foolish woman.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I had a really great pasty last night, Ben.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Philomel, when are you going to learn to snopes it before posting it?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
What does "snopes it" mean Louche?
Gosh I'm feeling dim today.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
all your mystical stories proven fiction
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: What does "snopes it" mean Louche?
It means check on Snopes.com to see whether the story you're telling is actually a decades old tale that was never true.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Thank you Waynster <chate> and may I take this opportunity to congratulate you on your new job in amsterdam. I feel a damnedmeat part 2 coming on! O, are you coming to Glasgow? </chate>
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis:
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: What does "snopes it" mean Louche?
It means check on Snopes.com to see whether the story you're telling is actually a decades old tale that was never true.
It wrecks all my fantastic FACTS.
Although I never claimed the above story was true.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Here, we can see that philomel is a liar - no better than funkypurplepants.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
and thank you, Thorn.
You see, the good thing about being a bit dim and then asking a question is that people tell you things and you are then bestowed with knowledge as a result.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
*rumble - retch - chunder* Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Smoked Haddock Chowder
I don't know what that is, but my nature makes me want to be jealous of it, and want some.
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: You see, the good thing about being a bit dim and then asking a question is that people tell you things and you are then bestowed with knowledge as a result.
Yes, but spend a couple of afternoons browsing through snopes and you end up questioning everything that anyone has ever said to you, taught you or written in a book that you read. In the end you don't even believe snopes and at that point your brain starts oozing out of the back of your head and trying to climb into your shopping bag on the back seat.
This happened to a friend of my uncle.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
See Philomel! You've killed Ben.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
hurrah! i hated the fuckknuckle and his point by point character assassinations dressed up as arguements.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
I am going to put my head in an oven as penance.
edit: microwave
[ 14.10.2004, 09:29: Message edited by: philomel ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Philomel: the Sylvia Plath of TMO.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Fucksocks! Now because I typed the words "asking a question" my head has started singing (in a VERY annoying voice) "Ask and it shall be gi-ven, Seek and ye shall find, and if you knock - knock - knock and the door will be opened unto you every ti-me" Darn Sunday school! Thank god I'm going home in 30 minutes. I think I did precisely 23 minutes of work today.
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
GOD! typical uber, BEN IS DEAD and youre just sitting in the corner singing church songs to yourself in a girlish whisper, winding a lock of hair round your finger and counting paint drips on the windowpane. WE HAVE LOST OUR PATRIACH YOU SILLY CHILD. will noone else mourn with me.
is anyone within driving distance of harrogate? i suggest we need to check the pasty wrapper for minute traces of zyklon b. im not pointing the finger, just saying. Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by discodamage: is anyone within driving distance of harrogate? i suggest we need to check the pasty wrapper for minute traces of zyklon b. im not pointing the finger, just saying.
the nazis didn't use zyklon b. any revisionist worth his salt knows that. fule.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I could get to Harrogate in about an hour, but I don't like it there.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
ben was mean to me However in the spirit of christianity I will dedicate my next song to him
"Kum by yaaaa me lord kum by yaaaaa Kum by yaaaa me lord kum by yaaaaa Kum by yaaaa me lord kum by yaaaaa O Lord Kum by yaaaa!
Someone's DYING lord Kum by yaaaa Someone's DYING lord Kum by yaaaa Someone's DYING lord Kum by yaaaa O Lord Kum by yaaaa!"
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Uberlol.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Yeah it's funny. She hates him, man. I'll be like, oh Ben! Ben! Hahahahah! Ben is so funny! Do you know what Ben did? Ben's the best! I wish he was my dad! I want to stride behind his corpulent but adorable shadow for EVER AND EVER! And then Lisa, she, Ubertrick, the 'nice' one, yeah, she's like, 'nyah. Don't like him. He's mean to me.' I don't get it!
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I could get to Harrogate in about an hour, but I don't like it there.
but the tea shoppes and the blue dolphin chipshop???
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Londonlol.
I know he's no waif, likes a pasty etc, but ben is hardly corpulent.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
or adorable
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo:
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I could get to Harrogate in about an hour, but I don't like it there.
but the tea shoppes and the blue dolphin chipshop???
I've been there twice. The first time was to see a production of Romeo and Juliet so very dire it made me want to stab out mine eyes with a blunt B&Q screwdriver tipped with salt.
The second was as a bridesmaid, clad in badly fitting pastel blue that was too short, too tight and too hot, thus ensuring I spent the whole day resembling someone who had been ineffectually poured into a child's plastic beaker. I had rolls of unsightly flesh plobbling over the top of my frock and during the marvellous dinner, all the food stopped roughly in the area of my ribcage. The obligatory after-meal, pre-reception shag was rendered almost impossible by the cage of clothing which encased my legs. I realise these are rather arbitrary reasons for loathing Harrogate, but as I can find no other obvious scapegoat for either the play or the wedding, it will have to do.
Posted by SilverGinger5 (Member # 49) on :
I realise that this thread has progressed way beyond it's humble beginnings. Who would have thought that when Philomel asked people what they had learnt recently, it would cause the death of a well respected poster.
Still, that was 40 minutes ago, and I think we're probably all over it by now, so I'm going back to the original question of
what new stuff have you learnt recntlyor something like that
Through flicking through b3ta message boards, I just discovered a great anagram that everyone else probably already knows, but it is..
The Menstrual Cycle
is an anagram of
My cnut creates hell
Which I thought was pretty rock and roll.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
*punches lisa*
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche:
quote:Originally posted by damo:
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I could get to Harrogate in about an hour, but I don't like it there.
but the tea shoppes and the blue dolphin chipshop???
I've been there twice. The first time was to see a production of Romeo and Juliet so very dire it made me want to stab out mine eyes with a blunt B&Q screwdriver tipped with salt.
The second was as a bridesmaid, clad in badly fitting pastel blue that was too short, too tight and too hot, thus ensuring I spent the whole day resembling someone who had been ineffectually poured into a child's plastic beaker. I had rolls of unsightly flesh plobbling over the top of my frock and during the marvellous dinner, all the food stopped roughly in the area of my ribcage. The obligatory after-meal, pre-reception shag was rendered almost impossible by the cage of clothing which encased my legs. I realise these are rather arbitrary reasons for loathing Harrogate, but as I can find no other obvious scapegoat for either the play or the wedding, it will have to do.
always with the fucking drama.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
You have to watch out for pasties. You should never eat any that come in sealed plastic packets, but even some "home baked" varieties can go horribly wrong. Strangely enough where pasties are concerned, it is often the chain outlets that fare best. Short crust vs. puff pastry is a personal choice, though many of the modern 'pasty chains' seem to favour short crust these days, perhaps for practical reasons of crumb-drop on public transport.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
you know i do love you louche. especially as you're from wigan.
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Thank god I'm going home in 30 minutes. I think I did precisely 23 minutes of work today.