My life has fallen apart - temping in the most boring job ever, love life dead, getting embarrassingly fat, smoking and drinking way too much... When I returned to London back in May, I had so much hope and optimism and ambition. Summer was wonderful and I felt blessed. It was always sunny in my world, each new day brought promise, sparkle, I was always smiling. More recently have been very depressed. No, that's not true, more just numb. I don't like this feeling, but something inside won't let me shake it off. Yesterday, strolling through lovely Bloomsbury, the weather shit, my mood at a new low, I just thought fuck it. I feel like such a failure and I'm lost and feel like I have no control over my life anymore.
In a few days I fly out to India. One way ticket. I've given up. But the prospect of a winter of this blackness is too much to bear.
So this is a goodbye for now. Will try my very hardest to not post, except maybe on the book thread, and absolutely zero whines of tropical ennui, promise. I'm thinking I'll have a pop at writing a book. All my friends seem to be working on one, mostly about sexual despair and giant billboards, and I wanna join the party. No doubt whatever I manage to produce will be total shit, but so what, this is for me. So that's my plan - maybe write a book, and come the New Year figure out what the fuck I wanna do with my life.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by vikram: One way ticket.
Really? Good.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton:
quote:Originally posted by vikram: One way ticket.
Really? Good.
That's just small, and mean, and totally uncalled for in these circumstances.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
If you bump into my old enemy Debi Hall, tell her she's still totally X'd, ok?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Good luck Vikram - I'm sure India (and escaping the aggressively dismal London autumn) will help you get your mojo back. Have a fantastic time out there and get yourself back in shape - I reckon everything else will flow from that.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
Good luck with it mate - whatever you are looking for I hope you find it .I'll have Tania ready for your return - keep us posted when that is.
Anyone up for a whip round to send Snorton off to find himself - Like preferably in the middle of a minefield? Can't wait for the day when your at lowest so we can all stick the knife in - you might learn some humility.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Presumably it's quite easy for Misc to just make us another Vikram if this one goes to India.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Well I hope it all works out for you in whatever path you choose to follow mate.
Good luck in India Posted by 2@ (Member # 715) on :
Sorry to hear that life is quite so poor at the moment - are you sure you have thought this through? I would imagine that having no plan in India will be much the same as having no plan here, except cheaper, better weather, more diverting, but with fewer of your friends around. If this is not the case, and it's a considered move, good luck, and I hope that it helps you get out of what sounds like a fairly dismal rut.
Sorry, I nearly forgot. Good riddance, knobber.
[ 18.10.2004, 08:02: Message edited by: 2@ ]
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I should have said this sooner, Vikram, but recently you have been "OK" in my book. You don't have to go to India. I'm fine with you staying in London and continuing to post.
If this means you lose the deposit on your ticket or something, I'm sorry about that. See you on the boards...mate. Posted by MonkeySusan (Member # 569) on :
Can I come with you?
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
good luck vikram! i hope things work themselves out for you.
Posted by 2@ (Member # 715) on :
quote:Originally posted by MonkeySusan: Can I come with you?
Didn't you read his post? He's a temp. He doesn't have the requisite funds for your services, woman.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
a change of scenery can be a good way to revive your energy i wouldn't consider making such a hard decision 'giving up' - more like tackling your challenges from an alternative perspective 'sides if it doesn't work more material for your book. safe journey.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: That's just small, and mean, and totally uncalled for in these circumstances.
Small? Maybe. Mean? Certainly. Uncalled for? Brr. There are only a few people on here whose aqueous humour I would like to remove with a rusty spoon, and Vikko is one of them.
Being in any way kind would be like Tony Blair saying "he was a good guy" if Saddam kicked the bucket.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I wasn't going to contribute to your thread, Vikram (not being around much anymore, I didn't think it would be appropriate); however, Samuelnorton’s brilliant marketing campaign on your behalf - his clever use of playground cattiness to engender sympathy for your plight - has drawn me in. So, good luck, I hope it all goes well for you in India and you find sufficient inspiration for a novel.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Brr.
Do you actually know what this means? It's like Ben used it once when ripping the piss out of you and you decided to adopt it as your own but, having no idea how to effectively deploy it, you just randomly thrown it into sentences whenever you feel like and to be honest I'm embarassed for you when reading your fat-fingered attempts to use it effectively or even correctly.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
I don't know you and I know nothing about you Vickram, BUT! I always admire people who instead of complaining about how their life is and doing sweet f a about it, get off their butts and make some changes. So, basically, GO YOU! I hope it all goes really well for you and you find what you're looking for.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Do you actually know what this means?
When I use this term is meant to provide a textual illustration of my blood running cold. Which was what I felt when Thorn suggested that my post was "uncalled for". I don't know in what context Benno uses it, nor do I care.
Now stop playing forum policeman and fuck off.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Do you actually know what this means? It's like Ben used it once when ripping the piss out of you and you decided to adopt it as your own
And I stole it from London. I also stole 'Eh.' from Thorn. The only thing I've been able to coin for myself was the use of a line of capital Xes to signify a division within a post. Oh, and 'I don't know.' as an ungracious way of expressing sketicism about what someone's just said without going to the trouble of constructing a proper argument. :eyerolls:
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Good luck Vikram whatever you choose to do.
I'd add that the short period you've been back from your travels hardly seems sufficient time to have decided that you're a failure of any sort, maybe you should eat some oily fish and take St John's Wort or something, but I can certainly understand your desire to flee these shores at this time of year.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Ben And I stole it from London. I also stole 'Eh.' from Thorn. The only thing I've been able to coin for myself was the use of a line of capital Xes to signify a division within a post. Oh, and 'I don't know.' as an ungracious way of expressing sketicism about what someone's just said without going to the trouble of constructing a proper argument.
D-didn't you invent online stammering?
[ 18.10.2004, 09:41: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: Now stop playing forum policeman and fuck off.
Lol, it doesn't take much these days does it Rick?
[ 18.10.2004, 09:44: Message edited by: Bamba ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
.
[ 18.10.2004, 10:29: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
The best thing I ever stole from ben was the line "Back then, a six pack was six cans of lager held together by a series of plastic rings, not the tortured abdomen of a latent homosexual".
I've used that loads of times: passing it off as my own and then basking in the subsequent applause.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Lol, it doesn't take much these days does it Rick?
I'd guess not.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I still use the 'O' that Kovacs stole off James Joyce. I love it to death.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
I like Thorn's 'Meh' and use it frequently.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I sometimes use the Thorn "Eh." and the Ben "xxxx", though I have introduced pretty variants such as "+-+-+-+-+-".
I think Rick is the only one still using my patented "boke" for "book" and "thatisal".
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
i know your kind vikram, you're escaping to india to get all those outsourced jobs from america. see vikram = smart.....
keep on the good foot.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
[ 18.10.2004, 10:10: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: You suck Briffatip
Fuck off Ben, before your hypocrasy stinks the place out like so much mood lightening Mackerel.
[ 18.10.2004, 10:16: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer:
quote:Originally posted by ben: You suck Briffatip
Fuck off Ben, before your hypocracy stinks the place out like so much mood lightening Mackeral.
Or Haggas!!
Bye Vikrem
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Lol. Ben's hypocrasy = less stinky than my spelling.
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: That's it, BR - lick it round the helmet... not too fast. Easy - easy. O fuck yeah.
Is that picture of Vikram?
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: I sometimes use the Thorn "Eh." and the Ben "xxxx", though I have introduced pretty variants such as "+-+-+-+-+-".
I think Rick is the only one still using my patented "boke" for "book" and "thatisal".
I can't say that I've ever used the Thorn Eh., preferring instead to use the more familiar Eh?. And instead of the rather fetching Ben "xxxx", I have usually plumped for "----", which I admit is pretty ordinary and dull.
Yes indeed Kovacs I have occasionally used "Boke"; I'd say that I have used blacke more frequently, however. As for thatisal (or thatisall, take your pick) I have seen it being used long before I even stepped onto planet TMO.
Although I can hardly claim originality, I was the first on TMO to suffix the diminuitive of certain individuals' names with "boy", e.g. Bennyboy. Some people have aped this recently, which did make me chuckle slightly.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I'm sorry, BR. I thought I was being funny when in fact I was just being mean and cheap.
[ 18.10.2004, 11:44: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
That's Rick. Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
quote:Originally posted by Samuelnorton: I was the first on TMO to suffix the diminuitive of certain individuals' names with "boy", e.g. Bennyboy.
can you explain how "benny" is the diminutive of "ben"?
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
and can you remind us all when anybody ever has followed your lead in copying this particularly annoying written tic?
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
quote:Originally posted by Raz: That's Rick.
Nah, that's Rick!
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
bomkin - please email me as i don't have any contact details for you and on saturday had txt conversation with a total stranger about drinking port near a castle.
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
cyi, leg-twin
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Vikram - I hope that India works out for you. Also, thanks for once posting this;
quote:Martyrboy gone done a poop!
That made me gasp and lol at the same time. Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
quote:Originally posted by omikin: can you explain how "benny" is the diminutive of "ben"?
It's the diminuite of Benjamin, which is what I assume Ben was called on his birth certificate.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
good luck vikram.
I thought you were black!
To make yourself feel better I recommend: exercise. does wonders.
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
Btw I copied everyones grammar and spelling mistakes ever and made them my own.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I hadn't seen "thatisall"/"thatisal" anywhere else, but then I haven't seen anyone chiefing Rick's traits either.
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
quote:Originally posted by jnhoj: good luck vikram.
I thought you were black!
!!!
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: I'm sorry, BR. I thought I was being funny when in fact I was just being mean and cheap.
It's alright Ben, apology accepted. I was perhaps, er, a little more sensitive than usual yesterday. Though no better at spelling.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
hi vikram, I sympathise very much with you. Good luck in India. I'll be going to Goa in January to do some research for a massage book I'm writing, perhaps we should hook up? ubertrick@tiscali.co.uk
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
You can't bang Vikram. That's just plain rong.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Why not? You did.
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
That was a Generic Asian, not Vikram. Racist. Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
Bye Vikram
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
God I hate your avatar Amp
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
So do I. Shitty kitty. Why don't you draw me a new one that celebrates your love for me? I'll be hitting 3000 posts soon so I'll get a new picture. Please can I have a beautiful badge of skillness from my most favourite talented illustrator genius of all time e.g. you. Thanks. Make it good now!
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
I killed the kitten
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
Here is a 'winkie' that I did for another board.
You can have that if you want. I am not really in a position to do any more at the moment as I don't have a computer. Also Uber's computer blew up with everything I'd done on it!
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
I think it would be better if I did you a custom one though. You will have to wait. Or buy me a computer!
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Can I have RazSmurf please?
[ 19.10.2004, 07:49: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Raz, sorry I've not replied to your email - I wanted to say thanks !
Just been a bit busy of late what with the new sprog and all that jazz.. I forget to reply to emails...
[ 19.10.2004, 07:43: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by Raz: I think it would be better if I did you a custom one though. You will have to wait. Or buy me a computer!
I want a custom one! I can't see that one because it is firewalled for some reason. CUStoM CUSTOM! yOU COULD draw it and scan it in on my scanner when you scan in your other drawings innit.
edit: i can see it now. that's sweeet!
[ 19.10.2004, 07:44: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Raz, sorry I've not replied to your email - I wanted to say thanks !
Just been a bit busy of late what with the new sprog and all that jazz.. I forget to reply to emails...
That's OK Dallen. TBH I don't like you much anyway. You are Dutch and smell of pipe.
Winkie but hosted by Paynter for Ampax:
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
Oh.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Vicky- I dare you to moon Michael Palin as he Himalayers through India.
Don't stress too much about The Perfect Life. I've met lots of people who just do temping/travelling/temping/travelling rather than the disappointingly overrated Career/Mortgage/Pension thing. Just enjoy the opportunities. Have fun.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by Raz: Oh.
I want Razsmurf. It is in the hands of Darren now.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Razsmurf is excellent. But what other board did you make that nasty for, Chisky?
Also Lol muchly at Vol 1 Ascus lonk.
[ 19.10.2004, 08:50: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
raz cyi pfv
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
there is a-nothing in my ass-box
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
Also that smaaf will really annoy you soon. Sssss!
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
When I get to 3000 Daz will change it for something that is as good as Ben's 'Librarian' scout badge. That's all I want, really. That's all I've ever wanted.
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
How about the same badge, but saying '**** '
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
sorry I meant to type 'aunt'
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
AMP YOU HAVE NOT SENT ME AN EMIALL YOU AUNT
[ 19.10.2004, 09:33: Message edited by: Raz ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
it was me, not london, sorry.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Someone is overclocking Raz; I fear he will overheat.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: Someone is overcocking Raz
I doubt it, he's insatiable that boy.
Posted by Raz (Member # 449) on :
Shut up Bamba. Just because you once made your wife come by jabbing your finger into her farg while she was doing the washing up. Incidentally I have tried this trick repeatedly since I read it and I cannot replicate the effect.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
Sorry to see you go Vikram - good on you for being brave enough to make the move.
Nice to have you back Raz. You rvery presence makes me laugh, loudly. In a good way.
Posted by fish (Member # 22) on :
Whilst I'm impressed at your courage to just pick up sticks and leave, and also slightly envious, part of me wants to come over all Boyracer and accuse you of just running away from your problems - surely they will still be there when you return, albeit much happier and refreshed like you did last May. Perhaps it would take more courage to meet your problems head on? Stop drinking, go to the gym, actively seek a permanent job in an industry you want to work for, get work experience, get another qualification?
Either way, it's totally none of my business, so I'll just wish you good luck in whatever you do.
ETA: And yes, Teflon, having just read this back I'm aware I've just racked another one up for you, but I'm going to leave it there. That's my gift to you.
[ 19.10.2004, 11:38: Message edited by: fish ]
Posted by ally (Member # 600) on :
Best wishes vikram.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Sorry to be so late getting to this thread. I hope you find your change of scenery to be revitalising- and check back soon.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
awww you guys are so sweet.
for everyone that thinks that i'm being courageous - nope, i am not, this is easy, jetting off to warm an poor places is what i do best. being brave would be staying in london an sorting my life out. this is running away.
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