This is topic Nu Yeer in forum The Library at TMO Talk.


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Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
Public decides not to boost income of thieving twats.

As ever, I try to stay ahead of the curve and, in the past ten years, have managed to spend at least half my New Years "in".

Not that I don't think there's something worth celebrating. I just reject the long waits at the bar, 'admission fees', drunken harridans informing me I should "Chare up yfukkin miz rubble fukkuh - Snewyare!", random violence and inability of DJs to take a break from playing stupid shit on time to allow us to go through the bongs/kissing/cheering shizzle we've supposedly all come out for.

No. Fuck all that. We're having a few people round for eats, drinks and ga(y)mes.

In addition! I intend to start 2005 as I mean to go on, with resolutions including:

What are your plans for tonight?
What are your New Year resolutions?

Don't be a boring wanker and come out with some nonsense about how you "don't *do* NYRs" - live a little, you miserable sod! What do you think you're perfect already? Make something up for kevin's sake!
 
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
 
Since I loathe spending NYE trying to force my way through crowds of drunken teenagers to get to the bar, and having to pay inflated entrance fees for the privilege, and since I don't know of any mates round here who are doing the house party thing, I will be being a curmudgeon and sitting at home with a fridge full of cold beer and some good DVDs.

As for resolutions, I think my main resolution has to be to rediscover my ambition and to set myself new goals to fuel that ambition, happiness and comfort breed apathy, and I'm absolutely swimming in apathy. I have a job I could do blindfolded, and at which I seem to be a success without really exerting myself, which makes me wonder how much more I could achieve if I really put my mind to it, I don't want to get to retirement and look back over a lifetime of doing what needs to be done and nothing more, I want to rediscover that desire to do something worthwhile and make a difference.

I also want to lose at least half a stone, which means going to the gym every week, not just when I can be arsed (closer to once a month), rediscovering the passion for that one may take more effort, we shall see.
 
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
I am going to a friends for champagne and cocaine, then to a magical club where there are teeny bar waits, you can take your own booze with you if you like, it is only £10 admission, they do stop the music and play Big Ben Bongs (although last year this involved a last minute scramble for some kind of radio to do this with)...and uh...oh, my favorite DJ is back for the first time in aaaages..and its gonna be good! And I have a new(ish) dress and new hair! Plus I have new David Atenborough DVDs to watch all day tomorrow from the safety of the sofa.

My resolutions are a hazy and predictable mix of starting exercise again after having Christmas off, smoking less, eating vegetables and doing more work and less internet (this last was motivated by a friend being summoned for a disciplinary meeting in January).
 
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
 
lose beer belly
get a tan
keep beard
cleanse my colon
continue with stopping smoking
get better job or start own business
seriously consider buying small motel in France/Holland/Somewhere
Attempt to cut back on drinking

Tonight, well Beckett's teething so in bed by 10.30 prolly... I'll get pissed later.
 
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 

eta:

[ 31.12.2004, 08:20: Message edited by: London ]
 
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
 
smoke less, puff and fags
drink less, not that i drink huge amounts at the moment but however much it is, its too much.
Play less computer.
Get a Job that isnt a grind. And pays enough for me to save enough money to buy an ariel atom Yaay joy machine of speed love!
Play more Football.
Find a girlfriend who i can actually get on with and not someone who is good enough cos the let me do 'sexing_in_the_bed!'
Its a shame Shona isnt at work today cos I could start early, it seems i have my work cut out, well 12 months to sort it all, Good Luck
 
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
 
Resolutions:

Summary:If you take away the specifics the general feel is "action is better than inaction" or "more decision less faffing" also "increase leisure activities"

Tonight: First, I had no plans and was concerned, then I got invited to not just one party but TWO!! Then I decided that I really was having a great week off doing loads of stuff like reading my astronomy book and playing the violin and updating my websites and that all I really wanted to do on new years eve was to stay in and carry on doing these things. But my sister has informed me that I am not allowed to do this so I will hang out with her and other brilliant ladies of my acquaintance, no doubt drink lots of cava and count down to NY so that I can jump on the N253 and go back home. Unless I have fun in which case I'll come home when the sun rises. Interesting fact: This will be my first new year's eve in 16 years when I haven't had a boyfriend / husband. One less pressure to worry about! Did I tell you I hate new year's eve? Well not tonight. It's going to be as good as the last EXCELLENT one I had 14 years ago. The power of positive thinking. I'm giving it a shot. If it fails I'll enter 2005 with my usual rollingeyes version of cynicism which provides a protective shield around my eternal optimisim and romanticism. It has served me well I can tell you. I'll stop now. Sorry.
 
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
You can buy it off me, including all games and controllers and memory cards, for £100. How is giving it to you going to help me save for a deposit? [Roll Eyes]
 
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
 
My resolutions:

*Darryn - not sure when I need to pay you for the web space, etc. - let me know!

Tonight, a quiet one. Watching DVDs, drinking beer and eating a nice old fashioned leg of lamb dinner...

[ 31.12.2004, 09:36: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
 
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
I'm off home. Thanks everyone for all your hard work this year - let's make it our forum resolution to make 2005 the best tmo year yet! [Cool]
 
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
Ok coach.
 
Posted by ally (Member # 600) on :
 
For NYE I'm staying in, taking drugs and shagging. These are my first drugs of 2004. I have just had the cleanest year of my life. I've not achieved any more or less than normal, but I'm a lot more stable.

TMO - what should be my first resolution - continue with clean living, or take more drugs?

Apart from that, I'm planning on getting a proper job, with prospects. I've never had one of those before, and its about time I was a bit less of a professional dilettante, and a bit more professional instead.

I think I might do a bit less t'internet, too, as I spend far too much time fucking around on the web.
 
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
Continue with clean living. What drugs are you doing tonight?
 
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
 
My NY resolution plan has worked out perfectly. In the past month, even taking into account the negative effects of the festive eating period, I've managed to lose the better part of a stone. I feel fitter, healthier and happier than I have done in years. I've taken to riding my bike a few times a week and eating healthily. Not a low calorie diet as such, but I've cut out all the snacks and shit I used to cram into my face hole, and I try and drink water instead of soft drinks. I must say I am surprised at how resilient my body has proven to be. There's youth in it yet, I'll warrant, so while I've spent most of the last year feeling like a 40 year old, I finally feel like I'm relatively young again. And I like it.

So my resolution? Well, to carry on as I am really. I'd like to lose another stone or so, and get even fitter and healthier. I like this feeling, it's new and interesting, like some wonderful drug with no comedown.

And I'm going to carry on playing snooker because I think I'm not half bad at it, and it helps me unwind in the evenings.

And the Mini, well that'll be fixed shortly, judging by the large pile of new parts that's sat next to me.

So really, my year is already starting on a high note. The hard work is done, and now I've just got to keep things ticking over. Why start the year struggling, I say.

As for how I'm going to spend my NYE? Well I'm going for some drinks in my mates local. Should be a laugh.
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
Because mcandrew is gay, in both a sexualtiy and level of how good he is , ie, shit, I am going to a night with my real life friends and not bringing my internet friend with me! Lame lame lame! What sort of excuse does he have?! He doesnt have one! He could have just said "oh its alright Im not going" sometime in the last month. I will have a good time, it will be hard not to. I will probably have a very bad time for the few days after it, but I have dvds and tv and music so I am prepared. I am missing my inflatable sofa that Id wanted a bit though.

My resolutions?!

Graduate with a 2:1
Decide on a career and become rich.
Write half of book.
Clear credit debt via clincal trials.
Even more exercise! Im not fat, I just enjoy it! Maybe I need to put some weight on
Go out more with rediscovered child hood sweet heart. Find out what she thinks of me.
Write a killer dissertation.
Cook more stuff.
Devise an uber budget that involves minimal spending.
Learn some guitar scales. Fix guitar, record some things.
Decide on manchester or derby or where I am going.
Make sure I dont fall into doing british languiage teaching in italy/
 
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
 
PUBLIC APOLOGY TO JOHNJ. I = SORRY. [Frown]

By the way, John. If you intend to write just one half of a book, maybe you can write the latter half of my own unfinished novel. It's more quarter- than half-finished, to be honest, and severely lacking cohesion, but I re-read bits of it yesterday and for the first time ever I thought it was Gosh! Quite Good, Actually, which surprised; usually the re-reading of year-old fiction traumatises writing ambition / stifles talent / inspires self-loathing etc. But not this time. Maybe I should finish it myself. Or we could write it together, John! But no. We hate duets, don't we? Forget it.

So first resolution is write more book. Second is keep writing more book. Third is No Do Not Give Up Already It Is Only February Keep Going Persevere With Book You Can Do It Come On. Fourth is find data input work. Fifth. Buy dermatological drugs. Alternative fifth. Make spots fashionable. Sixth. Overcome misanthropic tendencies (hatred = insecurity). Seventh. Wear black pinstripe tutu over jeans. In street. In daylight. Eighth. Absorb nature. Water plants. Sit in trees. Sleep on mountaintops. Lean on bridges and drops stones in streams. Ninth. We Are Multifaceted Beings: Our Bodies Contain Hundreds Of Yous, Mes, Thems: We Are A Thousand People At Once: We All Have Vaginas, Some More Hidden Than Others. Spread the doctrine. Live the doctrine. Live as Paraffin/Paramour Beta. Live as Cesario/a. Live as Viola/o. Live as Rowan the grandfather-child. Then write it all down.
 
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
 
I have written my list of new years resolutions.

#1: KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
 
Posted by ally (Member # 600) on :
 
Another resolution - ask kovacs very nicely for personal tuition in humility and self-deprecation.

Get Carter was on Ch5 the other night - did you see it?
 
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
 
Last night was spent with a mug of tea and the joyousness of having Jools Holland on the telly for TWO AND A HALF WHOLE HOURS!!! Oh rapture. It was ace.

Resolutions:
*Go to coaching every week and get promoted to a higher team in September when the new badminton season starts
*Go to step every Monday/aerobics every Wednesday
*Eat less meat
*STOP smoking. For heaven's sake! I started again after 4.5 years of not smoking. How stoopid am I? Actually, don't answer that.
*Carry on being happy with just being me and not part of a couple. This is actually working quite well!
*Make more soup

Think that's about it, there's more other general stuff about being more organised at work and all that jazz, but that's just boring.
 
Posted by charrudeboi (Member # 555) on :
 
Tonight, like last night is spent at work which I'm not too miffed about especially when I got to watch MOTD all the way through.

I plan this year to put on some weight. Maybe 2 stone will boost me up to how I want to appear. To acheive this I have quit smoking and I have promised myself to go to the gym and reform my muscles.

Not smoking is hard, I have made one day so far and feel like I want to chew off my knuckles so anyone who is managing this feat well done to them.
 
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
 
It only just occurred to me this evening that Monday is a bank holiday in lieu of New Years Day, it being on a Saturday, sometimes being thick can be a good thing, an extra day off, yay [Smile]
 
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
 

ETA:

[ 02.01.2005, 06:11: Message edited by: squeegy ]
 
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
 
Additional NY resolution - stop getting mugged in the middle of busy pubs in Swindon by coked-up psychopaths.. [Frown]
 
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
 
Dude are you serious? That's fucked up, hope you're okay and stuff. I guess being boring and staying in with DVDs isn't such a bad thing after all.
 
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
 
Yes, me and Mikee were 'captive' at the table for about 40 minuntes while the coke addled headcase explained in the most unpolite terms that one false move from either of us and we'd be chewing on glass.

I was brave though, when the fucker exited the pub with my jacket (and wallet and keys), I ran out after him and demanded (begged) that he gave me my keys back. Thankfully he took pity (and my £200 coat) and gave me my keys back so I could at least get home. How handy.
 
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
 
Shit Ringo! That sucks.
 
Posted by dervish (Member # 727) on :
 
Christ that's nasty. Bad enough to mugged, but forty minutes was a hell of a time to be under that pressure. Brave isn't in it. You can replace a coat, but your face or an eye are something else.

Glad you are in one piece!
 
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
 
That sucks! My first thought was couldn't you have caught someone's eye or something, to signal for some help but it occured to me at eye contact and involvement with the world around you is usually not all that common in those sorts of situations. Glad you made it through all right.
 
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
 
Bum rap Ringers. Where was this hell hole? If it was Swindon, well...

NewYear'sEve: Went to a dinner party. 9pm: 12 30-somethings sat boy-girl, no couples together, around civilised dining table in huge grown-up house in Clapham, deciding what wine to drink, while various babes slumbered peacefully upstairs. 11pm: A delivery has been made, there are streamers, glasses and people draped everywhere and the volume has gone up to 11. 5am: host says 'for fuck's sake SHIT OFF' as he shoves us out the door. Cool.

New year's resolutions:
To find out what it is I want to do, and do it without prevaricating, procrastinating, or passing go.
Moving house
Starting a family of some description
Seeing friends individually, not just en masse
Taking responsibility for my own life
Stop wasting time
Making my own website, with me branded a 'copywriter'. [Off my patch, London. Grrr. Fight you.]
'Doing Exercise'
Doing a course, or two, from a list of jive, silversmithing, website design, creative writing, Spanish
Take up the bassoon again
Stop procrastinating

However, all the above will no doubt be scuppered by the last one, my inability to just get my finger out. Oh, and less self-loathing. After all, as Ben said, 'I am a much under-rated poster'.
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
MY IMAGE RUINED THE THREAD

[ 03.01.2005, 16:54: Message edited by: jnhoj ]
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
Hi, happy new year everybody. I was planning on spending mine doing what Physic did, only with a book instead of the TV. As it was I ended up in the Stockwell Swan, dancing like a **** with a party hat lopsidedly affixed to my oversized head. I haven't made any resolutions. What's the point? I haven't kept a single one I've ever made, so why set myself up for more failure? I suppose in a general way I've got to sort out my job, debts and ailing mental health, but they aren't resolutions so much as vague ideas.

Anyway. I've had TWO WEEKS away from work, making today particularly horrendous. As I lay in bed this morning, one eye on Raymond, I could feel my nerves buzzing in resistance to ever rising. It came in warm rushes from my spine to my fingertips, where it congealed into a slow pain. By the time I was queuing for a travelcard, the horror had driven away any discernible thought or feeling. Just another numb apocalypse. There's got to be a better way.

*thinks*

But as I said. Happy New Year, and I hope that everybody had a merry xmas patrick.

[ 04.01.2005, 05:30: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
Also, after two days of whiskey, my throat has virtually healed over in a desperate bid to save itself.
 
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
 
Without even the minor mental exercise of vaguely working a few days a week, any intelligence or even recollection of what it is I'm supposed to be doing seems to have drained out of my brain and into the settee. Resolution no.25. Boil cushions to retrieve brainpower.

Can it really only be 10.20? I seem to have been at this desk since dinosaurs roamed the earth.

And surely it's time for a high-calorie snack?
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
I've been on form since I got in - tearing into a terrible feature that I've been stressing about for the past two weeks. Eurgh.

But! For New Years I went to a cottage, and drank and then VP wandered out into the car park and got her knickers out. I would have taken a photo, but I was lying face down in the gravel, bleeding.
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
well done VP and Thorn! Performance art at NYE - very avant guarde of you.
 
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
 
Morning all. And sorry to hear about the headcase incident Ringo. Makes me glad I spent an entirely uneventful NYE playing cards with mates. Rock and roll!

Resolutions...

- Nip to the shops at lunchtime and try to get hold of a copy of that Euripides I was meant to have read by now for discussion purposes. Oops.

- Don't have flu next Christmas
 
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
Yo Benway - I never thanked you for your appearance at the SolsticeMeat. You were great, man. Bursting balloons outside of Phones4U is probably the nearest I'll ever get to playing Quidditch on Charing Cross Road.

During the Winterval I have been reading Dan Brown's acclaimed bestseller The Dav Vinci Code. I hope to post my definitive review in the next couple of days.
 
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
what did you get for your girlfriend in the end, OJ?
 
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
The stupid cash machine has broken...it is a 40min trip to the nearest alternative so I may starve. Work is rubbish. [Frown]

I have a blood test in a minute, Im hoping that if I pass out they will give me a biscuit...
 
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
I am going to starve anyway. I spent all my money on cheese, cava and beer, and now I've got to wait until Jan 28th for my next square meal. At least I will lose some weight. I will fashion some jogging shoes out of old potatoes or something and do keep fit.
 
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
 
Hi Astro...

I bought her the moon and stars, cheesily enough. Actually the fab make your own solar system mobile kit.

And an "Art Mocveau" Cow Parade figurine to accompany her favourite Superlambbanana.

Both met with lots of approval. Hoorah.
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
do I bother ringing these language people so I can waste away 8 months of my life in italy. again! I didnt realise the hand in date was so soon ie tommorow and I can't get all the doc forms and shit there but I can get just the app in....being as I've quite disliked being in a foreign country for extended summmers this is a stupid idea. But it would be better because it wouldnt be summer. And I would have a plan for 2005. Which is better than this aimless nothingness that seems to be spanning out in front of me.
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
oh i also found that drinking milk before bed seems to fight against the morning sickness I've been waking up with every day. Probably something to do with my stomach lining and not babies.

And once again the johnster isn't in work.

[Cool]

[ 04.01.2005, 06:14: Message edited by: jnhoj ]
 
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
 
Happy new year all. And Ringo, that sucks major donkey balls mate. Did you report it? After 40 minutes I guess you would have a damn good recall of the perps face.

My New year was spend sober and in bed with a headache which I still have. What fun.
 
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by OJ:
excellent presents
cor! Those are ace. I did extra panic shopping at the last minute and it went a bit wrong. I bough R things like a "genuine replica mackerel shark tooth" and (my favourite), "Priops: Creatures from Before Time! (just add water)". Also a bumper jar of taramaslata.
 
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
 
What did the "just add water" thing do when you added water Astro? Just out of interest....

GF got me one of those blotting paper sheep things for my birthday last year. You stood it in water and it grew crystals which looked like wool. Was very cool, because we were on holiday so every time we came back from a daytrip it'd have grown a bit more.... I think I'm having a second childhood.
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
hmmm i got a penis to put in some water and it got bigger once.
 
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by OJ:
What did the "just add water" thing do when you added water Astro? Just out of interest....
It makes the priops come alive! Apparently they are in suspended animation. Says here that when you add water (distilled or spring, natch):

quote:
they will hatch within 24 hours and quickly grow up to 2 inches long. Watch their amazing aqua-batics! Feed them twice daily and your Priops will live 20 to 70 days - unless, of course, they are eaten alive by their CANNIBAL SIBLINGS! Complete instructions included.
eta: we haven't added water yet. But we will, and then I can report back.

[ 04.01.2005, 07:01: Message edited by: Astromariner ]
 
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
 
Ooh think of the weird mutants you could create if you added mucky British waterway water instead. I'm thinking X files scary things...
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
so, are they like sea monkeys? I grew some of those bastards once, and they really failed to impress. On the box there were all these cartoon sea monkeys wearing tops hats and performing basic circus tricks. They had faces and expressions, and looked pretty interesting. In reality I got some tiny shrimps that were completely unresponsive to any of the suggested training routines.

So, they got bigger, and I did come to have a couple of favourites, but they never really delivered. I was admittedly excited when they first hatched, but after that they became a source of low-level despair. What were they? What was this powder that I was feeding them? Did I have some sort of legal obligation to ensure their welfare now? The latter problem was solved shortly after they reached 'maturity'. During a routine tank cleaning operation, my friend accidentally drank about half a pint of sea monkey water. I'd put them in a pint glass whilst I did the tank, and...well.. You can imagine the rest :-(. The other half of the lacklustre clan bought it about a month later, when I spilt them in a car whilst vomiting.

It's a real shame about those sea monkeys. I was genuinely curious about them, and my imagination had been sparked by the elegant graphical depictions of them on the box. What I got was pure disappointment. Perhaps it's time the boffins made good on their promises, and invented some genuine thumb-sized water dwelling monkeys.

[ 04.01.2005, 07:20: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
 
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
There's a 'sea monkeys' sequence in Atomised which pans out pretty much as it did for Benway - ie. disappointment and disgust. I remember adverts for the creatures in the US comics I was given on the very rare occasions I was laid up sick as a nipper. They used to depict a happy, 50s-style 'nuclear family' of the critters - rather than the revolting invertebrates actually sold.

These bastard comics also used to advertise X-ray spectacles ("sees thru clothes and walls!") which used to baffle me for hours as I tried to figure out how they worked and vainly longed for a pair. Alas, my lack of a 'City', 'State' and 'Zip Code' precluded me from ever ordering a pair.

[Frown]

[ 04.01.2005, 07:24: Message edited by: ben ]
 
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
 
it's like that episode of the simpsons when...

Hello TMO! I have been back in work for 2 hours and 18 minutes. During that time I have made 6 cups of tea; calculated my annual leave entitlement for this year (133 hours) and completed one annual leave form and got it signed off; rummaged around in my in-tray 3 times in the pretence of "doing some work"; completed 2 training evaluation forms; sent 19 emails - 3 of which were actually work related! Also I have laughed at the onion in general and this and
quote:
Data-Entry Clerk Reapplies Carmex At 17-Minute Intervals
in particular. All in all a very productive day so far. I am only in work until next Wednesday then I am on holiday until 1 February. So far 2005 is working out very well for me!

[ 04.01.2005, 07:29: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
quote:

Although Sea-Monkeys are a species of brine shrimp, they are unique. We not only unlocked the most elusive secrets of their life cycle, we created new formulas to keep them alive under conditions found in the average home—an accomplishment never before achieved! Finally, after years of crossbreeding, we developed a hybrid. These amazing new hybrids grow larger and live longer than any "natural" variety of brine shrimp.

How long do Sea-Monkeys live?
Thanks to new computer-driven processing technologies and ultra-pure, non-toxic chemicals, twice as many Sea-Monkeys instantly hatch, grow larger and live longer than ever before.

An exact, pre-blended formula of "magic crystals"—and live Sea-Monkey eggs are inside the envelopes supplied in every Sea-Monkey kit. When added to water, live Sea-Monkeys will hatch. That’s why anyone can get perfect results without any knowledge of chemistry or biology. Just by following the easy instructions you create Instant Life®. The only "extra" is the water.
At birth, the Sea-Monkeys are very tiny, no larger than the "period " at the end of this sentence. That is why it’s possible to "overlook" them when they are first born. Since their fate is in yours hands, do not discard the formula if you don’t see them right away. To do so would be like "throwing the baby out with the bath water."

(italics added)

from The On-Line Home of the world's only instant pet!
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
One day scientists will make a real life Ned's Newt.
 
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
I can't believe you bastards are dissing my excellent Christmas present. Anyway, they're not sea monkeys. They're PRIOPS, from the Age of the Dinosaurs: clearly a far superior breed of instant aqua-pet.
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
I'm not dissing priops - I don't even know what they are. It's just this promise of aqua-batics that sounds a bit suspect. I've heard promises like that before. There's every chance that priops are much more entertaining and far less morally dubious than the notorious primates of the ocean. If not, then you're in for a non-treat. A punishment, even.
 
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
Where can I get Priops!!!
 
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
gnnn

[ 04.01.2005, 07:58: Message edited by: Abby ]
 
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
It seems they're called 'Triops' not 'Priops', but look at this picture I found:

-

I'm a bit scared and repulsed now.
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
If William Burroughs kept pets, then that is the pet he would keep.
 
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
 
They look excellent! Im gonna get some!

Did you get yours from the interweb or a shop?
 
Posted by turbo (Member # 593) on :
 
I still have a headache from NYE! Very optimistically woke up ridiculously early on 1 Jan after 4 hours' sleep and thought "Ooh, I feel great!" Then the hangover hit me and I still haven't managed to shake off the headache. Is that weird?
 
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
yes turbo, that is weird. You need to drink about 7 pints of water, I reckon.

quote:
Originally posted by Abby:
They look excellent! Im gonna get some!

Did you get yours from the interweb or a shop?
I got them from a shop called "The Natural World". They come in a sort of envelope and they only cost £4.00.
 
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
a non-treat. A punishment, even.
Benway is right.

quote:
What are all these ghostly Triops forms on the bottom of my tank ?
To aid their rapid growth Triops shed their exoskeletons.

What is the wood that comes with the Triops eggs?
It is detritus containing the microscopic eggs as well as helpful bacteria and food to help the Triops survive in their new environment.

The water is dirty can I clean it out?
Changing Triops environment is always risky, if you really must swap the water then at the very most only replace half and make sure the new water is at the same temperature as water in the tank

What type of sand can I add?
At present we haven't found a reliable source for sand that does not risk killing your pets.
These creatures can only survive in an ecology of constantly warm water and an expanding reef of their own skeletons, which - because cleaning them is so risky - will eventually crowd out and suffocate the living creatures.

Basically, you've re-created Day of the Dead in a fishtank in your home, Astro. I can only speculate as to your state of mind when you bought this 'present'.
 
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
 
hm. Maybe the kindest thing to do would be to bury them in the garden.
 
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
 
your husband or the triops?

[blatantruthlessnetworkingofallcontacts] Where can I put about the most excellent sale of all sales which is happening right HERE? [/blatantruthlessnetworkingofallcontacts]
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
There must be some law against allowing something like that to mix with the natural ecological system. Your best bet would be to incinerate them. Do not flush them down the toilet.

[ 04.01.2005, 09:17: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
 
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
 
What would happen if you put them to hatch in someone's mouth while they were sleeping?
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by London:
What would happen if you put them to hatch in someone's mouth while they were sleeping?
-
 
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
 
London = wrong [Frown]

Sea Munters aside, I am in a grotty horrible mood because I am on a pointless detox. I have also quit smoking! None since Dec 30th unless you include weed, which I don't because we had some lovely smoking mix to ingest it with. No fags, no food, no alcohol, no caffeine, and no fun. Till Sunday.
 
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
 
I have had my 'no-alcohol in January' scheme - going swimmingly so far - cruelly dashed by two dear dear friends, one of whom is having a birthday and one of whom is leaving London 4eva, both this month. Why must people be so cruel? Do they want me to remain fat and toxic for the rest of my life?
 
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Astromariner:
quote:
Priops will live 20 to 70 days - unless, of course, they are eaten alive by their CANNIBAL SIBLINGS!
Do they have cannibals in the Indian Ocean at all? It must be like Whisky Galore for them at the moment.

OK, OK. Here's my credit card number. How much do I have to donate?
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by dang65:
quote:
Originally posted by Astromariner:
quote:
Priops will live 20 to 70 days - unless, of course, they are eaten alive by their CANNIBAL SIBLINGS!
Do they have cannibals in the Indian Ocean at all? It must be like Whisky Galore for them at the moment.
Oh Dang. How long did you wrestle with whether or not to post that?
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
It's next year now.
We can't be expected to hold these gags back forever.
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
I thought that it was a good joke, although it left bad taste in my mouth.

[ 04.01.2005, 10:19: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
Well, just don't come crying to me when ally kicks your arses for being cynical poseurs, that's all I'm saying.
 
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
 
Dang - shame on you.
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
fucking hell dang, thats terrible, as a parent Id thought youd well, be a bit more mature, you fucking, im flabberrghasted.
 
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by dang65:
Do they have cannibals in the Indian Ocean at all? It must be like Whisky Galore for them at the moment.
Blood on YOUR hands.
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by ben:
Blood on YOUR hands.
Not if you're civilised enough to use a knife and fork.

[ 04.01.2005, 10:42: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
 
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
 
Flippant, opportunistic wordplay.
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
Is that negative or positive? My first comment on dang was mock horror, but i forgot the mock. Miscs post was also good. Just what are you saying! Maybe that's what we need instead of winkys. Plus or minus symbols.
 
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by H1ppychick:
Flippant, opportunistic wordplay.
-

MiscellaneousFiles: Does exactly what it says in his sig.

[ 04.01.2005, 10:58: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
ARE YOU SAYING IM A BLOCKHEAD

?!1/1/!!?!?
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
Hey, my dad's a cannibal.
 
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
 
New Year:

Ye olde countrye cottage in t'Cotswoldes. Roaring log fire, lotsa DVDs, lotsa board games, lotsa chocolate and one of the boys volunteered to do all the cooking.

NYE:

All dressed up as cowboys, ate fajitas, watched and re-enacted some classic Westerns. Entertained other cottagers with piggyback race around courtyard just after midnight. (Was wearing denim skirt so knickers may have been visible. Thorn took approximately 2.5 strides before collapsing because "my shoes aren't done up". What a lamer.)

My New Year, New Me:

- start revision earlier to avoid whimpering exam-panic.

- take ice skating lessons and go riding more.

- make a proper fucking effort to learn Polish/Russian you lazy bitch!

- fitten and tone body. Perhaps buy one of those exercise DVDs?

- experiment with personality changes in order to "pull". First try: pretend to not like football and prefer Friends to violent films.
 
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
 
quote:
Originally posted by Vogon Poetess:
Thorn took approximately 2.5 strides before collapsing because "my shoes aren't done up". What a lamer
I would have gotten further if you weren't such a fat fucking bitch.
 
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
 
It's like Will and Grace.
 
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
 
I was going to post how sorry I felt for Thorn but that ultimate come back just proved that I was seriously underrating him.
 


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