Is anyone else getting a bit bored of the eternity of programmes and books which expect us to be amazed that our ancestors had *gasp* brains and, like, ideas and could build things and stuff?
I think the final straw for me was some wide-eyed documentary recently which revealed that the Ancie*t R*mans or the A*cient Gr*eks or the Anc*ent Eg*ptians had invented plastic surgery! But they were completely ancient! How could they have been clever as well? It was so bad that I wish I'd made notes actually. Did anyone else see that one?
One of my favourite things I heard from some dude like Professor Robert Winston was that if a modern family was given a caveman baby (i.e. a cavebaby) to raise in Modern then the caveperson would be completely normal and clever and enjoy Big Cook Little Cook and McCain's Microwave French Bread Pizzas just like anyone normal.
In fact, I think we should be making documentaries about how fucking thick we are. In Ancient it would have been normal to know all about the world around you, the stars and the seasons, what the actions of birds and insects and animals meant in relation to the weather and all that shit. And they could build timeless structures which are still here now while our crappy 1970s houses are falling to pieces around us.
Anyway, I'm falling into the trap of patronising them myself now. I just think it's time we said, what a pity we're not as clever as they were. But is it because there's just too much for us to learn now so we just don't bother learning anything?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Did the romans have mobile phones or Airliners? Did the Egyptians build super tankers or rely on a network of satellites for their global communication needs? Perhaps Greeks pioneered laser eye surgery, test tube babies, micro-processors and complex alloys, as well as developing stealth technology and harnessing nuclear power?
Dang, they were crap. Big deal, they built big things (tiny in comparison to things that have been built in the last hundred years), did maths and washed reguarly. Ooh! Well advanced. Egyptians worshipped cats, Greeks pioneered a sewage system that can't cope with toilet paper, and Romans all pranced about in hats with brushes on the top. Twats.
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
I agree, though I think its not that 'we' or 'they' are cleverer than the other. Intellegence revolves around the situation where it is required, no doubt we know things they didnt know, much as lots of their knowledge has been lost, possibly forever. Its the relevance to the present that contains the value of knowledge.
Edit: for clarity I was agreeing with Dang
[ 11.02.2005, 07:37: Message edited by: Tom Boy ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
The only thing the ancients were any good at was suffering and dying in large numbers to satisfy the deranged necro-centric whims of the bloodthirsty priest castes guiding the merciless rule of whichever tribal emperor had slaughtered his way to power that week.
If the forum were the Twilight Zone Dang would go to bed wishing he could 'travel back in time to when things were cool' only for him to come to atop some Aztec ziggarut just at the moment when the dude in the 'feathered jaguar' get-up is about to plunge the sacrificial dagger into his bared chest. He would barely have time for a Bakulaesque 'oh boy!' when the dagger came down and Dang 'awoke' to find Mrs Dang standing over him, waving the steam-iron, point down, and screaming: "AAAAARRGGH! CAN YOU FIX THIS DANG? CAN YOU???"
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Did the romans have mobile phones or Airliners? Did the Egyptians build super tankers or rely on a network of satellites for their global communication needs? Perhaps Greeks pioneered laser eye surgery, test tube babies, micro-processors and complex alloys, as well as developing stealth technology and harnessing nuclear power?
Yes, yes, very smart, but it's only because those things hadn't been invented yet. It all takes time doesn't it, it's not that they couldn't have invented them. I mean, they didn't have mobile phones twenty years ago (approx), or several of the other things you mention, but we don't go making documentaries going, "Hey, lookee here, in 1979 the Ancient English were actually able to fashion a primitive type of CD called an album. It even had primitive pictures on the front and some of the music would have almost sounded like the shit they had on the Brits the other night! Amazing! They did have rather uncivilised ways of playing their instruments though. Heh heh heh."
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Did the Egyptians... rely on a network of satellites for their global communication needs?
Yes. All early civilizations did. The remnants of those early global communication systems are the standing stones, stone circles, cairns, barrows, pyramids, ziggurats, earthworks, ruts and carvings that we still find all over the world. These were all linked, of course, by ley lines. They not only served as a communication nexus but the power they channeled was visible (as pure energy) from space, thus demonstrating to extra-terrestrial visitors the nodes of communication most worthy of establishing contact.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote: we don't go making documentaries going, "Hey, lookee here, in 1979 the Ancient English were actually able to fashion a primitive type of CD called an album. It even had primitive pictures on the front and some of the music would have almost sounded like the shit they had on the Brits the other night! Amazing!
quote: The Opel Kadett was the car of the moment and the Intercity 125 high-speed train arrived on Britain’s railways
???
[ 11.02.2005, 07:47: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: He would barely have time for a Bakulaesque 'oh boy!
lol!
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: The only thing the ancients were any good at was suffering and dying in large numbers to satisfy the deranged necro-centric whims of the bloodthirsty priest castes guiding the merciless rule of whichever tribal emperor had slaughtered his way to power that week.
Ah yes, the Ancients out of the movies. Did you know that the Edwardians spent most of their time dancing on rooftops and flying using umbrellas? And in the Second World War they had machine guns that you could fire for hours on end without a) running out of bullets and b) ever replacing the gun barrel. It's all true.
quote:Originally posted by ben: If the forum were the Twilight Zone Dang would go to bed wishing he could 'travel back in time to when things were cool'
I wasn't actually suggesting that I'd rather be an Ancient, or even that I'd like to visit the era for tea, just that we could do with toning down the wild-eyed surprise when it's revealed that basically everything we think we've just invented was done before - only being limited by the technological standards of the time, not by brain power, organisational skills or resourcefulness.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Ah yes, the Ancients out of the movies. Did you know that the Edwardians spent most of their time dancing on rooftops and flying using umbrellas? And in the Second World War they had machine guns that you could fire for hours on end without a) running out of bullets and b) ever replacing the gun barrel. It's all true.
So you reckon the Pyramids were built by highly unionised, empowered and informed workforce with a humane and responsive 'management' remaining cognisant of their health and safety responsibilities and attempting to conform to standard classical world practice in areas such as harassment, diversity and work-life balance? Posted by My Name Is Joe (Member # 530) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask:
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Did the Egyptians... rely on a network of satellites for their global communication needs?
Yes. All early civilizations did. The remnants of those early global communication systems are the standing stones, stone circles, cairns, barrows, pyramids, ziggurats, earthworks, ruts and carvings that we still find all over the world. These were all linked, of course, by ley lines. They not only served as a communication nexus but the power they channeled was visible (as pure energy) from space, thus demonstrating to extra-terrestrial visitors the nodes of communication most worthy of establishing contact.
Indeed, the centre of this power being 'Mu' or 'Atlantis'. The final destruction of the ley line network came with the invention of the railway, which, far from being an easy method of travel is in fact a grand conspiracy to bind the earth in cold iron and disrupt its natural energy flow.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: So you reckon the Pyramids were built by highly unionised, empowered and informed workforce with a humane and responsive 'management' remaining cognisant of their health and safety responsibilities and attempting to conform to standard classical world practice in areas such as harassment, diversity and work-life balance?
I can't pretend to have read up on this in any detail, or at all in fact, but I did understand it to be the case that the pyramids were built by the workers of Egypt during times of the year when their land was untenable, either while it was flooded by the Nile or while it was too arid, I forget which.
They were not, again as I understand it, some sort of massed slave labour, worked to death in the way the Nazis might have organised things. Whether they were paid or not I don't know, but I don't think that simply not being paid automatically defines one as a slave does it?
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: but I don't think that simply not being paid automatically defines one as a slave does it?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
This is off of the National Geographic site anyway:
Who Built the Pyramids?
Contrary to some popular depictions, the pyramid builders were not slaves or foreigners. Excavated skeletons show that they were Egyptians who lived in villages developed and overseen by the pharaoh's supervisors.
The builders' villages boasted bakers, butchers, brewers, granaries, houses, cemeteries, and probably even some sorts of health-care facilities—there is evidence of laborers surviving crushed or amputated limbs. Bakeries excavated near the Great Pyramids could have produced thousands of loaves of bread every week.
Some of the builders were permanent employees of the pharaoh. Others were conscripted for a limited time from local villages. Some may have been women: Although no depictions of women builders have been found, some female skeletons show wear that suggests they labored with heavy stone for long periods of time.
Graffiti indicates that at least some of these workers took pride in their work, calling their teams "Friends of Khufu," "Drunkards of Menkaure," and so on—names indicating allegiances to pharaohs.
An estimated 20,000 to 30,000 workers built the Pyramids at Giza over 80 years. Much of the work probably happened while the River Nile was flooded.
Huge limestone blocks could be floated from quarries right to the base of the Pyramids. The stones would likely then be polished by hand and pushed up ramps to their intended positions.
It took more than manual labor, though. Architects achieved an accurate pyramid shape by running ropes from the outer corners up to the planned summit, to make sure the stones were positioned correctly. And priests-astronomers helped choose the pyramids' sites and orientations, so that they would be on the appropriate axis in relation to sacred constellations.
From stone pusher to priest, every worker would likely have recognized his or her role in continuing the life-and-death cycle of the pharaohs, and thereby in perpetuating the glory of Egypt.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo:
One site I read just now compared the building of the pyramids to the Amish building a barn, but on a giant scale. No one gets paid, but it's done for the community, for the good of the people (in their view) and it was done at a time when they couldn't work on their own land anyway because it was flooded. They were still free men, just that they had to pay a kind of tax of labour.
That's different from being dragged in chains from your home, marched hundreds of miles to the sea, crammed into a disease-ridden hulk and taken thousands of miles to live a life of forced labour with no rights and no hope of freedom.
Quite a bit different really.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
some websites i've read don't acknowledge the holocaust.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
The first LOL I had on this thread was from Benway, then Ben made me laugh with both of his posts. Then Dang sort of ruined it by taking it seriously. Thanks alot Dang. :madface: Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
oh no.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: some websites i've read don't acknowledge the holocaust.
Riiiight, OK. So, you think that Cecil B. De Mille had the whole Egyptian slave scandal sussed out and the National Geographic is some sort of Pharoahist cover-up conspiracy organisation? It seems to me that it's Modern Man with his African slave trade, Nazi death camps, Gulag Archipeligo and so on which is making assumptions that we must have always done things that way and presumably the Oldens were far worse because they didn't even believe in the right God either!
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
Comedy genius there from the boy Davis. I think we should lobby Darryn to make that the standard angry smiley on TMO.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: It seems to me that it's Modern Man with his African slave trade, Nazi death camps, Gulag Archipeligo [/QB]
they're not my age. grandad.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Comedy genius there from the boy Davis. I think we should lobby Darryn to make that the standard angry smiley on TMO.
where does one sign up to this lobbying group?
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo:
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Comedy genius there from the boy Davis. I think we should lobby Darryn to make that the standard angry smiley on TMO.
where does one sign up to this lobbying group?
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Comedy genius there from the boy Davis. I think we should lobby Darryn to make that the standard angry smiley on TMO.
fuck OFF! God. this = worst day of 2005 so far.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I've erased three posts, which started off kinda agreeing with Dang, but then tailed off when I realised I didn't really know what I think.
Isn't the common sense bit to acknowledge that: an Olden would be fucked trying to get his dinner from a vending machine, and we'd go a bit hungry trying to get our dinner in the Olden Times.
But it's more fun just to focus on the fun Olden stuff, like savagery and body paint.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: fuck OFF! God. this = worst day of 2005 so far.
If it helps, I think you look quite cute in that picture. If you promised to pull that face I'd even let you wank me off with your spastic left hand. Does that help? probably not, I imagine.
[ 11.02.2005, 09:42: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
Oh, you are EVIL.
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: But it's more fun just to focus on the fun Olden stuff, like savagery and body paint.
Can we do a themed meat? This sounds interesting Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Comedy genius there from the boy Davis. I think we should lobby Darryn to make that the standard angry smiley on TMO.
I don't think that you should. There is, after all, a much better picture that could be used as the new standard smiley on TMO - one featuring a bemused looking Benway and a certain Mr Bamba doing a very good impression of The Hulk (right down to the straining trousers)....
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: Oh, you are EVIL.
Jeez. You try and make a girl feel wanted, and this is the thanks you get. Fine! That's the last time I offer to let someone wank me off. Nice one Astro - you've ruined it for everyone else, now.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: If it helps, I think you look quite cute in that picture.
Thorn's right, Astro: becoming a meme boosts your sexy/cute quotient by +45 - getting flustered and upset by the same boosts you by another +20.
[ 11.02.2005, 09:57: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: I don't think that you should. There is, after all, a much better picture that could be used as the new standard smiley on TMO - one featuring a bemused looking Benway and a certain Mr Bamba doing a very good impression of The Hulk (right down to the straining trousers)....
Is this a competition to see which person can find the worst image of the other? Is that really what you want Sidney?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
I have to admit, I don't think the Ancient Egyptians could have come up with anything as funny as the last few post on this thread.
:rolleyes hieroglyph:
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: :rolleyes hieroglyph:
Well FUCK OFF! Your opinion became invalid when you revealed that rather than living in a sound waterproof structure with central heating, you'd rather scrabble around in some misery-hole made of straw wadded together with handfuls of your own shit.
[ 11.02.2005, 10:05: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
All of you fuck off! Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
please, if you make me laugh, all the cake will come splurging back out and go over the keyboard. Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: There is, after all, a much better picture that could be used as the new standard smiley on TMO - one featuring a bemused looking Benway and a certain Mr Bamba doing a very good impression of The Hulk (right down to the straining trousers)....
If someone posts this up I will be grateful in ways that defy even the most debauched imagination.
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
hands up everyone who'd let astro wank them off if she pulled that face?
ol
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
What are you doing with your other hand Omikin.
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
icabt telo you that
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Is this a competition to see which person can find the worst image of the other? Is that really what you want Sidney?
No of course not, Stupid Hulk Face Bamabe. Besides, I am not scared by your threats. I am well used to seeing my doughy, gurning visage posted on these boards. However, I do think that TMO's very own Incredible Hulk should get the recognition he duly deserves.
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
This thread is thoroughly despicable.
To celebrate, let us post snippets of furtively acquired pornographs of fellow posters - then try to guess the identity of the naked mystery forumite! Funfunfun.
GOODNESS.
WHO MIGHT IT BE?
I WONDER.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
cheers, fionnula. I thought that we had an agreement? I can't actually believe that you'd do this to me.
[ 11.02.2005, 11:14: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
You cheeky rascal Fionnula! By a funny coincidence, Louche was asking after that picture just the other day.
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Jesus, Benway, you could've at least let people guess first. I bet you're one of those cunts who talks all the way through a DVD - wannabe director's spastic commentary - and ruins the film for everyone by revealing what happens at the end.
Now. Would someone please repost that photograph of Thorn's arse falling out of bed? I lost it when some virus obliterated my computer and deleted everything on my hard drive.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
holy crap!
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Is that a lipstick?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
that isn't really me.
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
Speaking of patronising the ancestors....did anyone see last night's Horizon all about Neanderthals?
You know, the short aggressive ones who would've been our ancestors except that we apparently wiped them out. Allegedly.
For some reason I thought if was fucking hilarious. (Possibly nervous exhaustion I grant you.)
One of the scientific experiments they did was to get a tall skinny human and a short stocky human to sit in a bath of ice and see how they reacted. The implication being that the tall skinny one was human and the short stocky one was "a bit like a Neanderthal". But not.
Nevermind patronising the ancestors - that man will probably have to go and live in North Korea to escape the sheer humiliation of being a stand-in Neanderthal.
In lieu of a picture of a naked forumite, here's a not-quite-naked-ice-age-short-bloke:
Ahem. I'll get my (furry) coat.
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
No, Benway, that's not good enough. The damage is done. There's no repairing it.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
isn't that Rick Witter?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fionnula the Cooler: Now. Would someone please repost that photograph of Thorn's arse falling out of bed? I lost it when some virus obliterated my computer and deleted everything on my hard drive.
My God, that's exactly how I lost my copy of that picture. Perhaps I'm carrying some sort of virus in my ass.
I think it was Misc who originally hosted the picture for me, but it would be a twisted creature indeed that held on to a copy.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Misc's opening his gallery to the public soon.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: isn't that Rick Witter?
Is that Stealgate's real name then?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
No, because it's a fact that rick witter smells of piss, and anybody who is anybody on TMO has stood near stealgate for a comedy photo, and can testify that he smells of libraries. Even more so than Ben.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: that isn't really me.
I know. I would like to clarify that my "holy crap" response was a "knee-jerk" reaction to the sexxus images of naked male flesh and not because I thought it was benway. You really can trust me on that one.
*chairy*
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Genuinely: I dread to think what I might have uploaded to Misc's host and subsequently forgotten about. Am I the only one to bristle and flush at the thought of what grim treasures we might unearth?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
If Misc's sick photo album becomes public property, will it say who uploaded each particular image or will we have to guess? I'm all for anonymity. Guessing would be cool.
[ 11.02.2005, 11:47: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'm pretty fit though, ladies, more so than lisa would have you believe! Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Yes. Anonymous would be cool. At least then we could deny the fuck out of our associations with any incriminating/humiliating pieces of photograph.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by Fionnula the Cooler:
This one is my favourite!
[ 11.02.2005, 12:05: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: If Misc's sick photo album becomes public property, will it say who uploaded each particular image or will we have to guess? I'm all for anonymity. Guessing would be cool.
It would be almost impossible to tell as you don't need to login to upload so the only thing to identify people would be IP addresses which doesn't really work.
Posted by George the Robot (Member # 681) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: My God, that's exactly how I lost my copy of that picture. Perhaps I'm carrying some sort of virus in my ass.
The 'Thorn Davis Ass Virus'. A lot less popular than the Anna Kournikova Virus.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
If you stitch em back together. Mutant madness.
[ 11.02.2005, 12:16: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I'm thinking of moving my ImageUploadThingy™ to a faster, more reliable server. At the moment, I can't browse the directory because the server times out before it can retrieve the 6000+ filenames.
I might have a mess about with some PHP over the weekend and see if I can create a series of thumbnail galleries, but I also might have better things to do, so don't get your hopes up.
And Bamba's right about the IP addresses.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Actually, it kinda reminds me of Raz Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
was my first thought too. erm. not that i've sexed him. i was going off his friendster pic.
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay:
If you stitch em back together. Mutant madness.
Naah, its too tall for Benway, but dude if I'd had access to such pics last night I wouldnt have been so reserved with your offer of fizical kontakt Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
:gasp: you said you'd never tell.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Is it Rick Moranis?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: was my first thought too. erm. not that i've sexed him. i was going off his friendster pic.
What's the implication there damo?!!1 the boy lived in my front room for 6 months and he spent most of that time looking at porn on my PC in his undercrackers!
That picture also looks like my ex-husband. He has a freakishly long torso - the body proportions which are also thankfully repeated everywhere else.
eta: problems with tenses there. in many senses of the word.
[ 11.02.2005, 12:27: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Look here, Uber and Mikee. I think your picture posting antics have caused enough strife for one day. Poor Astromariner has gone home ill - mentally - because of you two. Now you're jigsawing boys mutant-shaped? Sick. Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick:
quote:Originally posted by damo: was my first thought too. erm. not that i've sexed him. i was going off his friendster pic.
What's the implication there damo?!!1 the boy lived in my front room for 6 months and he spent most of that time looking at porn on my PC in his undercrackers!
er that I knew what his torso looked like but that i hadn't sexed him.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I know but it made it look like... ohhhh never mind! Back to mutant-boy Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
you know, if the rozzers or mi5 ever got hold of you, you'd be no good under good-cop bad-cop interrogation.
eta
i know its probably been thought/said but this looks like enormo-poo strain face.
[ 11.02.2005, 12:33: Message edited by: damo ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: you know, if the rozzers or mi5 ever got hold of you, you'd be no good under good-cop bad-cop interrogation.
Oh I don't know about that... *raises eyebrows suggestively*
[ 11.02.2005, 12:34: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: he spent most of that time looking at porn on my PC in his undercrackers!
could he recommend any to BR?
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
wrong end of the switch, methinks.
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo:
i know its probably been thought/said but this looks like enormo-poo strain face.
Hey! My poo face is totally serene and impassive, much as I imagine Moira Stewart's is. Anyway: it's not nice to mock the afflicted. I can't believe that yesterday I went from tra-la-la mind my own business, to reading people I've never met pointing out that my face looks like I'm doing an enormous shit: nice!
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
that was the least obscene thought i had.
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
to add, that was one of those witty one line zingers that seem to be the basis of wit here in bumfuck tennessee.
i didn't really think about you straining a big jobbie out over robbie williams chest.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Robbie Williams wrote (sung?) the best song in the past 25 years. Fact.
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Romans all pranced about in hats with brushes on the top. Twats.
*Ahem*
The problem is that our view of history is coloured by later events. The Victorians have a lot to answer for. From my point of view (and I talk to a lot of people about this sort of stuff, through my school-talk business) people think it was all poncing around in togas in brilliant white temples. It was never like that. If you want to read filthy poetry, nasty politics or evil senses of humour, the R*mans and Greeks outdo anything seen today. Think of a particularly nasty banana republic (with `El Presidente' replaced by the Emperor and you have the picture).
Then again, ignorance about history never seems to amaze me - despite all these programmes...
Personally though, I'm not complaining about the glut of programmes about the ancient world. I've got (and am still getting) people paying me to stand around for a while looking R*man/Saxon/whatever and buying some of the stuff I make.
Apologies for rambling. I've been drinking strong beer.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Does anyone know anything about Belgians?
[ 13.02.2005, 02:06: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
[ 13.02.2005, 02:14: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by damo (Member # 722) on :
belgians, make good chocolates, cyclists and leaders of paedophile rings.
i hope he makes chocolate....
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
I think whoever that picture is of is a fucking desperate sad **** .
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
which picture jhnoj? the naked mutant boy? if so then your venom leads me to believe it to be of your great friend macandrew! *gasp*
[ 13.02.2005, 06:59: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
thorns right
VP looks like her too.
The mutant body uber :/
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
I saved thorns ass. Pics later fans!
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by damo: belgians, make good chocolates, cyclists and leaders of paedophile rings.
i hope he makes chocolate....
They also get the piss ripped out of them by the French, much like the English and the Irish, apparently
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Tom Boy: They also get the piss ripped out of them by the French, much like the English and the Irish, apparently
The Irish take the piss out of us? Posted by My Name Is Joe (Member # 530) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by Tom Boy: They also get the piss ripped out of them by the French, much like the English and the Irish, apparently
The Irish take the piss out of us?
I was going to say 'of course, doesn't everyone?', but then realised that we don't, not really. I can't think of a single 'English joke'. Except for Charlie Hodgson, of course.
In fact when I think about it we take the piss out of each other more than anything else, be it for being 'culchies' (country folk), 'frankies' (belfast), 'knackers' (dublin), 'spides' (chavs in English) or 'boggers' (muck savages from the western wastes such as Kerry).
It's odd, you would imagine there'd be more venom directed at the 'saxon pirate' than there is.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by My Name Is Joe: I can't think of a single 'English joke'. Except for Charlie Hodgson, of course.
There's one big consolation in being an English rugby fan when England lose and that is seeing the pure and genuine joy of the teams that beat us. I sometimes think that we do more towards international relations and goodwill in losing at rugby than we ever did as a nation in our long history of conquest and empire.
I can't imagine an English side reacting to a win like the French or the Welsh have in the last two weekends, apart from at the end of the World Cup final of course. In a bizarre way it actually comes across as a huge compliment to the English, even if it's not meant in that way at all. The day an opposition team walks off the field after beating England looking bored and acting as if it was just another day's work and a completely predicatable result is the day I'll feel upset at an England defeat.
This may explain why there are so few jokes about the English. You only really make jokes about people you like and admire, like you'd take the piss out of your best mate in the pub. No one feels like this about England, so no one makes jokes about us.
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Well. Yes. It's less that the English are perceived as talented rugby players and more that the English are perceived as cunts. Just to be clear.
Posted by My Name Is Joe (Member # 530) on :
Rugby is different, but you only have to sit through countless '1966' programmes every time the World Cup comes round to realise the English can be pretty insufferable in victory.
For Irish people, and I imagine the Scots and Welsh also, there definitely is something special about beating England. I suppose because England is so much bigger than the other 'home nations' and has played such a dominant role in our shared history.
There's also something of an 'English wankers' culture here, but to be honest when I lived in Leicester I found the people far more welcoming and friendly than at home, and English people I meet on holiday are usually decent types compared to some of the dickheads here.
Edit: Further evidence of English 'okayness'. My Mum moved to Bagshot in Surrey (warm beer and cricket on the green all round) a few years ago and has been made to feel incredibly welcome, as have I when I visit. Maybe it's because she is the only Irish in the village, but I can't see the same courtesy being extended to an English person who moved here.
[ 14.02.2005, 06:30: Message edited by: My Name Is Joe ]
Posted by turbo (Member # 593) on :
Just wanted to say that naked mutant boy has got a really nice stomach. I've forgotten what the rest of the thread was about because I kept getting distracted by stomach-snippets...
Posted by Tom Boy (Member # 765) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
quote:Originally posted by Tom Boy: They also get the piss ripped out of them by the French, much like the English and the Irish, apparently
The Irish take the piss out of us?
No you frag, the French
You really love me dont you dude, you just wait for me to post so you can... you can... try and make me cry Meanie
Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
It might be in the nature of Englishes to do a bit of blaming. I know the English press is famous for trying to find someone to scorn but its a little bit inbuilt in the character of Englishes themselves. In rugby, England have won countless games over the last few years despite being outscored and outplayed by having a great kicker, firstly in Andrew and later with Wilkinson. On none of these occasions has the opposition dug straight into their own kicker for missing a few. Last week it was Tait, I mean, ffs, he's only twelve. The Welsh don't do it, the Irish don't do it, perhaps we've got fewer options, but God forgive the English who misses a penalty in rugby or footaboll.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Is it me or did a lot of female forumites pop a throbber over a young gaye mans stummy?
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Good news, ladies. Mutant boy may indeed be gay at heart but is in fact straight at cock. Before you all rush off to bum jnohj in the gob I would like to make it known that my stomach is just as toned as his and probably cleaner too.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
If that really is jnhoj then I fancy him more than I did anyway! And even if it isn't jnhoj then I'm going to pretend that it is and imagine him like that everytime I read his posts!
But yes, boystummy is generally a favourite with the laydees. As is older man's proper round tummy oddly enough - although the latter is an aquired taste which comes with age. That age being about 30. Don't ask me why, I'm a victim here not the perpetrator.
edit to add: for connoisseur's of fine man tummy check out the tummy of our own dear omikin which can be found in misc's gallery of shame and which I had to seriously debate about the ethics of saving to my hard drive. Once, at a meat, I had the pleasure of being simultaneously shown omikin's and bandy's tummies at the same time!
[ 14.02.2005, 15:45: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
I think it was just a lucky photo.
BUT FEEL FREE TO BUM ME IN THE GOB. or anywhere for that matter.
[ 14.02.2005, 17:30: Message edited by: jnhoj ]
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
For mcandrews stomach read :
pale, maleucherished.
[ 14.02.2005, 17:33: Message edited by: jnhoj ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Is it me or did a lot of female forumites pop a throbber over a young gaye mans stummy?
[thevoice] wouldn't be the first time [/thevoice]
hey jnhoj, is that really you, huh? Huh! I need to know. I am currently compling my tmotoptummy gallery and it's important info. Also, I would rather like to kiss mcandrew's malnucherished tummy.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
best not.
[ 14.02.2005, 17:58: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
thats making even me hard. Yes it is me, for my sins :/
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
or a bi-sexer's dream
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
I'm going to have to work really really hard on keeping myself lean in case now when I go to a meet and I start shirt lifting and everyone goes "oh that isnt as impressive as it was in that picture"
and i go "uhh no it isnt"
"sorry everybody"
Posted by jnhoj (Member # 286) on :
i think sorry everybody would translate as "sorry uber" but you know ;D
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Don't worry, if you perfect a good poo-strain face no-one will notice.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
You must have done some pretty good sins then!
Actually, due to work circumstances keeping me away from the interet all day today I didn't get to ask for my TMOvalentine's wish. BUT there is still time! What I would like, please, is for all the forum boys to do a beatbox version of Love's Theme by Barry White while casually lifting their t-shirts to reveal their stummies.
I can see it now:
Waaaaow-wakka-wakka waaaaow-wakka-wakka...
If we could also arrange for someone to do the Huh-hur!-train-peekabo-eyes at the same time that would be awesome!
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