Ok - This is likely to be my last weekday on TMO, as the IT department have announced that as of Mungday they're going to start monitoring internet access. I know this is usually where some people write things like 'IT fascists', but let's face it - they're not paying me to sit here and post jokes about my cock, and days go by where I just do no work whatsoever. So, anyway. My Lightweight Friday Fun Thread...
Do you have a plan/ dream that you cling to in order to get you through the working week?
I mean, I know it's Friday and everything, but soon enough it'll be Monday again. And again, and again, and again, until the day you die. Is there any way out? One of my friend's wants to open a pub. Another is planning to go back into academia and spend the rest of her life learning. Some people want to buy stuff and justify the treadmill, 'the daily bone', as Jonesy bafflingly calls it. Maybe you even like your job? Maybe there's another job you hope you'll get one day. The point is how do you do it? How do you get through the week without wanting to end it all?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I just like to fool myself that I'm just biding my time here until the time is right for me to start getting on with living properly. As opposed to the sad reality that, really, I'm practically counting down the days till I die.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I look forward to Christmas.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I just look forward to the weekened, when I can drink and lie in bed. I posted about 6 months ago about shedding aspirations, goals and motivations, and I'm still chipping away. I've been turning a lot of attention to any ideas that I have previously harboured about marraige and children, which is made much easier by my girlfriend already being married to somebody else. But, I've always kind of half-assedly understood that having children would be a bad idea, and now I'm making an effort to turn it into something that just isn't an option for me. Not an operation, but you know, just talking myself around. I hate my job (obviously), but I've pretty much always disliked working the same as I always disliked going to school. Any kind of routine where somebody is telling me what to do, and I don't have the ability to ask them why, is ultimately destructive, but even more so is the self abuse of biting your tongue and doing something regardless of how stupid you think it might be. It's this kind of thing that has lead me to being a temp, still, with only 3 years until I'm 30.
So, yeah, the only thing I really think about in terms of future is the weekend, when I can laze about, or go and spend money on cold beers in over priced bars. The alternative - to look beyond - is like contemplating a bottomless pit.
[ 21.10.2005, 04:57: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
I'm trying to buy a house, and planning on being a teacher for a bit, and I'm going to make films, and art, and er, art films. But I kind of look forward to and dread those in roughly equal measure.
I quite like alot of my current job, the creative stuff and the stuff involving the students, and I tolerate the dull repetitive drudge stuff because it keeps me in beer and cultural ephemera.
I've never regarded the future as a problem really, so much as the present.
[ 21.10.2005, 05:23: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I just like to fool myself that I'm just biding my time here until the time is right for me to start getting on with living properly. As opposed to the sad reality that, really, I'm practically counting down the days till I die.
This is a fair summary, Ringers.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
This thread could turn out to be depressing or hilarious. Let's wait and see...
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I like my job in that by the time I'm on my way there I'm not dreading it or feeling like I'd rather be in bed, and that on my way home, most days, I think I've achieved something and can enjoy an honest rest.
However, I look forward to a retirement when I can mostly sit around writing fiction or semi-fictional "research", shuttling whimsically between a house in London and one by the seaside, going to the pictures, exhibitions and galleries whenever I feel like it, drinking late with my old mates on a weekday evening, funding and mentoring young people's worthy radical projects, and being invited expenses-paid to prestigious conferences, interviews, telly shows and the like. I think I'll make a pretty good old man, really: I often feel like an old man now.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Benway, I think you should definitely have kids. Lots and lots of kids. It's just what you need. There's nothing more motivating, fulfilling or rewarding than having to discipline tiny reproductions of yourself.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Anyway, shorter-term, during the week, I am motivated by simple notions like having a few cans of beer, watching downloads or DVDs in the evening, going on at least one decent social outing every Saturday, sleeping a little later and building up a £150 order at Amazon during the month, which I purchase on payday.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
that few cans of beer, man. It's the only thing sometimes.
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
You see, I've done jobs I really hate. Jobs where you wake in the middle of the night stressing that in a couple of hours you will have to leave the warmth and safety of your duvet to venture outside and brave people who you are sure would gladly kill you rather than speak to you like another human being.
This current job isnt so bad yet, so I dont mind coming to work - although I have only been here since April so give it time...
quote: Do you have a plan/ dream that you cling to in order to get you through the working week?
I dont really. I wish I did and then maybe life would make more sense.
I think the only thing that gets me through is taking every day as it comes and spending my free time concentrating on doing the things i like rather worrying about work.
At the end of the day, all of us like the lifestyle that working affords us (even if its not all its cracked up to be).
Sorry you wont be around anymore during the day now Thorn, you'll have to join the nightshift instead...
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
most companies usualy give you a couple of strikes before they sack you for internet abuse.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Yeah I always look forward to a bottle of beer in the evenings. One of those 750cl bottles of Greene King's 'The Beer To Dine For'. Those are yum.
For the most part I cling to the hope of getting published, although it often feels like being alone in a storm battered sea clutching a rotting piece of driftwood with no *genuine* hope, just a pretence. That's often enough, though, so it's OK. Working through the daily grind usually serves to build me up to the point where I'm desperate to go home and write - as although I get a writing work out in technical terms in my job, I never actually have the chance to express myself.
On a day to day basis, the things that keep me going are looking forward to DVD releases, computer games, and accumalating enough money to buy another upgrade for the PC. I don't dread work like I used to - at least here the people are nice, and each day there's the chance that Sarah's going to be wearing a top where I can catch exciting glimpses of her right tit.
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
Clearing my debts, that is the only reason I work, to clear my stupid debts stupidly accrued by my stupidity. If I wasn't in debt I would have the cushiest life going.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I quite like my job, it is interesting and my boss is nice, and I’m not striving day after day to line the shareholders pockets through some kind of morally dubious business practices. So that is nice. That is not to say I would carry on doing it if I wasn’t getting paid…maybe if I was ultra turbo rich I would do it as a part time hobby, but most likely I would be too busy taking coke in the Caribbean so probably not. I think the only annoying thing about work is that it means I have less time to do other things, I don’t actually mind doing the work, but it would be better if I had more time for sleeping, holidays, staying up late getting drunk, exercise and a range of wholesome cultural activities. Also I would like to get paid more (obviously)…martin is still asleep when I leave the house and happily installed on the sofa by the time I get home and he gets paid a shed load more then me, and has no qualifications! Yesterday I realised I had been a total moron and that all the work I had done in the past two days was not only utterly useless because I fucked up the method, but I had wasted some very expensive and limited resources to do it! I have to go to a meeting and explain this now….
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
Getting to the end of the week without wanting to end it all? Dorothy Parker springs to mind:
Razors pain you; Rivers are damp; Acids stain you; And drugs cause cramp. Guns aren't lawful; Nooses give; Gas smell awful; You might as well live.
No, it's not original, but it's still good.
I think I posted recently about The Fear and touched on ongoing work stress and running through it. So that's what I do at the moment, when circumstances are slightly beyond my control, I give myself something else entirely outside that sphere to aim for, achieve and ultimately I guess control. With me at the moment, it's running. I'm training for a 10K, which is not bad for someone who only really gave up smoking 6 months ago. It's slightly healthier and less of a cliche than developing an alcohol problem or eating disorder.
In the short term, minute to minute, hour to hour, I allow myself little cultural excursions courtesy of my mind, or with the intercession of Google, a book in my handbag, an art gallery at lunchtime.....
This week it seems to be poetry - yesterday I re-read some bits of Dylan Thomas and RS Thomas I'd forgotten about. This morning the OH obliged by phoning to ask the name of a poem we saw Adrian Mitchell very movingly read last year. To Whom It May Concern Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Thorn Davis MVP This is likely to be my last weekday on TMO
I think this is some of the worst news ever posted on TMO. I'd rate Thorn as one of TMO's most valuable posters, if not the most valuable. When fair-weather fuckers such as myself have been floating around whinging: "Ooh, I can't think of anything to post", "Ooh I don't fit in here anymore" Thorn has consistently rattled out quality posts like a reliable machine gun with an inexhaustible magazine, hitting the target time and time again.
I don't want to suck his dick too much and, it's true, my fingers recoil from the keyboard when I try to big Thorn up, but sometimes you have to do what you have to do.
As for getting through the day, I've had some pretty reasonable jobs over the last couple of years. As a freelancer I've no idea whether the next contract will bring a nightmare scenario but, touch wood, it's been a while since that's happened.
The jobs have been fun rather than fascinating and only interesting in places. None of them could be described as challenging on a creative level and the end product is difficult to be proud of. However, most importantly, I seem to have tapped into a rich seam of quality colleagues. That makes all the difference.
When I'm working from home (which is probably 50% of the time) I only have a cnut for company and a board full of textual weirdoes, but I enjoy it in a different way.
Overall, I don't have much to moan about but I do need to drift off to get myself through the day sometimes. Compared to literally crossing off the days of my sentence in the back of a General Accident Fire Life Assurance Company diary back in 1989, it's a doddle, but after months of trying to wring a little humour and life from "The Jurassic Coast is a 160 mile stretch of coastline boasting some of the UK's most dramatic scenery" I need to dream of something else.
Having said that, I'm currently a perfect example of someone who should be careful what they wish for. I've recently been given the biggest opportunity of my 'career'. If it comes off then it's a massive step for me, and even if it doesn't, it represents invaluable experience. The opportunity has paralysed me with fear, though, and while I'm working on the project, I find my mind turns tail and retreats to the safety and familiarity of the banal everyday job.
Usually, it's essential to think "This can't be all there is. I won't be doing this in ten years, I'll be doing X, Y and Z." At the moment, though, sinful thoughts are flitting through my head along the lines of "If I can just fuck this up and fail, I can get back to the humdrum harmless bone."
Which isn't good.
[ 21.10.2005, 12:37: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by MonkeySusan (Member # 569) on :
It's simply crushing that Thorn won't be able to post as frequently. He got me into this game.
What get's me through the week? The hope for something better. It's as ill-defined and vague as that.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
:blushes:
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I just look forward to the weekened, when I can drink and lie in bed. I posted about 6 months ago about shedding aspirations, goals and motivations, and I'm still chipping away.
You're full of shit Benway. Listen everyone: behind this carefull maintained slackerdaiscal pose Benway has been working hard on producing a fanzine - the first issue of which sits on my desk. As you would expect it's a passionate and beautifully written expression of his love for a particular cultural field; the two pieces authored by Benway himself are funnier and more engaging that about 95% of what you'd read in The guardian and yet here he is, acting like a beaten mule.
I know I haven't been the most supportive of pals recently and I should have emailed him as soon as I'd read my copy (on the train back to Yorkshire, after we dined in The Norfolk) but this "I am a teh uselessenz" stuff must not be allowed to stand.
You have powers, Benway - do not deprecate them and end up pissing them up a wall. Don't you have a second issue to work on??
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I'm doing contract work at the moment and have been for the past three years, the last nearly-two of which have been on my current contract. I've just been told this will definitely come to a close at the end of the year.
I'm ambivalent about my job. It has had it's moments of being almost quite interesting, which is saying something when you realise that I work in finance. However because we're getting to the tail end, the interesting work is drying up and I'm just left with clearing up the crappy admin and doing handover stuff.
Because of the resulting general ennui I probably spend maybe 1/3 of my day mucking around on the internet doing nothing much, yet somehow the company I work for still seems to think I'm the best thing since sliced bread for some reason and pays me accordingly. I feel like I'm cheating them and even more of a corporate whore than usual, but since I don't currently have any offers of employment past New Year it'd be stupid of me to enlighten them.
As far as the future goes, I've always wanted to be one of those brave people who says, fuckit, I'm off to see the world for a year or I'm going to breed goats or I'm going to set up my own business or I'm going to join a commune, but I like my creature comforts too much and I don't have the nerve to just jump off a cliff without a safety net. I am chickenshit, basically.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Do you have a plan/ dream that you cling to in order to get you through the working week?
Personally, I live on Planet Fantasy and always have done. This can make life amazingly exciting even when the reality, if being observed by a neutral outsider, is excruciatingly dull.
I've always got a plan. A business idea, a drop-out-and-live-the-dream scenario, a film script or a sitcom or a novel, a plan for a club or to manage a cool new band. The whole lot is in the head and never actually gets beyond an afternoon browsing the internet to see if anyone else has already done it.
I'm perfectly aware that I'll never execute any of these plans, but that doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's the buzz of the idea, the clarity and beauty of the concept as it forms in my head, the vibrant image which, when on my couch I lie, in vacant or in pensive mood, flashes upon that inward eye which is the bliss of solitude. And then my heart with pleasure fills. (Although it rarely involves any daffodils.)
I'm going for a job interview in Paris on Tuesday. Of course, I've spent the last couple of evenings looking up every detail about the place, establishing how easy it will be to get my bike over there and the best routes for commuting, whether to live in Montmartre or closer to the workplace which is outside of Paris in fact, how best to travel home most weekends, how to constructively spend my evenings/where to get drunk most happily etc etc. Come Tuesday I probably won't get the job and it'll be on to the next scheme. No point being disappointed.
It can be horrible when you have a lucid moment though and realise that you really are a pointless waste of space. I try and avoid those as best I can.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
errr, ahm.. Yeah, I finished writing last night. If you're interested, I think it will be much better than the last one. Funnier and more energetic, and it's bigger, and we even have an advert! But, you know. I'm only in it so I can go to free films, and maybe become some kind of celebrity horror film pundit, ligging my way around leicester square. Ben - if you want to write that piece we talked about, that would be fantastic, but there's no need to go slagging me off on the internet as some kind of enthusiastic/pro-active piece of shit.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: I've always got a plan. A business idea, a drop-out-and-live-the-dream scenario, a film script or a sitcom or a novel, a plan for a club or to manage a cool new band. The whole lot is in the head and never actually gets beyond an afternoon browsing the internet to see if anyone else has already done it.
I'm perfectly aware that I'll never execute any of these plans, but that doesn't bother me in the slightest. It's the buzz of the idea, the clarity and beauty of the concept as it forms in my head, the vibrant image which, when on my couch I lie, in vacant or in pensive mood, flashes upon that inward eye which is the bliss of solitude. And then my heart with pleasure fills. (Although it rarely involves any daffodils.)
I'm going for a job interview in Paris on Tuesday. Of course, I've spent the last couple of evenings looking up every detail about the place, establishing how easy it will be to get my bike over there and the best routes for commuting, whether to live in Montmartre or closer to the workplace which is outside of Paris in fact, how best to travel home most weekends, how to constructively spend my evenings/where to get drunk most happily etc etc. Come Tuesday I probably won't get the job and it'll be on to the next scheme. No point being disappointed.
Dnag, this is actually quite beautiful and inspiring - it's like you've wholeheartedly embraced Kierkegaard's assertion that one can only be truly happy when dreaming of future happiness.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Bun's right. I've read Benway's fanzine and, like the man himself, it's a fantastic piece of work. I'm not a horror fan but I am a fan of this publication because it's clever and funny and passionate and bloody well written.
Don't be drawn into feeling sorry for this fucking charlatan.
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: Ok - This is likely to be my last weekday on TMO,
A big for that, possibly rising to a
I won't exceed Thorn's expectations with anything more original. Take another annoying smiley on me Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Other little-known fact: Benway auditioned to be 'Dom' in Dick and Dom in Da Bungalow and got through to the final four.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: I probably spend maybe 1/3 of my day mucking around on the internet doing nothing much, yet somehow the company I work for still seems to think I'm the best thing since sliced bread for some reason and pays me accordingly. I feel like I'm cheating them .
I heard that! I just had to quickly minimise a TMO window when my boss came over to my desk to tell me I'd been put forward to be the unit's professional excellence rep. What the fuck?. I didn't do any work at all in September and last week when the rest of the team were working late on bids for the Olympics, I just carried on posting here, and then went home on time. I wonder whether this 'professional excellence' thing is a bit like "making the div kid at school the milk monitor".
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
but, yeah, I've always got ideas for a film, but I tend to remember that bit in TvGoHome about the director who only makes films in his head, and that tends to quell it. If anybody here is homeless, I'm kicking around ideas for a bittersweet film that's like a reverse of pygmalion, where a salaryman on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and in the depths of alcoholism, befriends and eventually takes in a homeless woman who is pregnant. Anyway, she just takes the piss, thinking that he's just doing it to make himself feel better, and doesn't really care about her, and who does he think he is anyway. One night some of her friends come round and rob him, and she discovers him dead drunk, soaked in him own piss, in the kitchen while she's been asleep, and realises that he's got a real problem, and see's that he's in a bad situation as well. She comes to understand why her took her in, and so she tries to help him overcome his problems. In the end, they both help each other, and she names the baby after him, and goes to live with an old boyfriend, even though the helper guy has been hiding letters from him to try and keep her to stay. He quits his job, and goes to work full time with a care agency. But, I need some authentic homeless/alcoholic scenarios to draw from.
But, I'd never make this, so it's just torture to even think about it.
And, don't listen to these motherfuckers, they just want to get a slot in the mag.
[ 21.10.2005, 06:40: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
I'd like to read Benway's fanzine
Thorn, how strict will this Internet monitor be ?
Maybe some form of RSS feed would get through, or emailed highlight ?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Thorn - I had a similar scare a couple of years ago, but with these things the bark can be worse than the bite. If you have a contact in IT, have a wander over to their desk and fish for why the regs have been tightened up and who they're after. It may be the case that porn and moonlighting are the only things that are really likely to get flagged and that there's a tolerance threshold for 'online research' (you could always argue that the Web forum is some sort of discussion resource for leading edge tech issues).
Unless you have pressing 'performance issues' it's unlikely that anyone will want to make an issue of your internet use.
The one thing I fear is that employers permit widespread internet abuse so that they always have an ace up their sleeve in case an employee makes trouble ("He/she was dismissed for gross misconduct once we investigated his/her use of company internet access"). A threat, i suspect, that hangs over us all. Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
If ever anybody says that they want a quick chat, I always assume that I'm about to be given a warning about the internet.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I'm kicking around ideas for a bittersweet film that's like a reverse of pygmalion, where a salaryman on the verge of a nervous breakdown, and in the depths of alcoholism, befriends and eventually takes in a homeless woman who is pregnant. Anyway, she just takes the piss, thinking that he's just doing it to make himself feel better, and doesn't really care about her, and who does he think he is anyway. ... But, I need some authentic homeless/alcoholic scenarios to draw from.
Worth reading the biography of Vivian Stanshall. In his later years he used to invite a group of boozers that hung around the local Offy to come back to his place for a bite to eat and a drink. They completely took the piss, regularly robbed him, and were quite likely present when the fire that killed him started, though they didn't hang around of course.
ETA: Also, Alan Bennett's Lady In The Van. Possible source for more eccentricity.
Edit II: Just changed to a better review link.
[ 21.10.2005, 06:59: Message edited by: dang65 ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
those dirty fucking homelesses.
eta: thanks dang, I'll be sure to chekit.
[ 21.10.2005, 06:59: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: those dirty fucking homelesses.
Script writes itself.
Posted by George the Robot (Member # 681) on :
I find it easiest to pretend that a don't need to work, don't need to work for the company that I work for and if I only made the effort I could easily do anything I wanted, if only I knew what I wanted to do. In reality, I've been doing the same shit for the past 6 years and 3 months and have been complaining about wanting to leave for the past 6 years and 2 months.
Knowing that at the end of each day I'll see my woman, and that I'll get to see my mates most weeks is what keeps me alive.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I cling to small, easy to achieve dreams and aspirations. Sometimes I am aware of them and have planned them (Friday night wine, Saturday afternoon delight, Sunday morning read-a-thons). Other times they appear, gliding towards me unexpectedly. Like yesterday. I had to go to a meeting with a bunch of people that I now have to kind of oversee. They are known as being 'difficult'. I wasn't looking forward to the meeting at all but went into it determined to stand my ground. One of the group seemed to take an instant dislike to me. Whenever I spoke during the meeting, she sighed and tutted, rolled her eyes heavenwards, pulled faces and mimicked me. I became pretty annoyed. At the end of the meeting, I called her to one side and I pulled her up about her behaviour. I made sure that I pointed out that she is going to have to work for me for the best part of a year and if she can't find a way of doing that in a constructive and positive way, I won't accept it. She immediately back tracked, flustered and apologetic. I didn't like confronting her but I did feel better for it - at least I didn't spend an unfortunate amount of time seething about it afterwards, as I would have had I not done anything. That kind of gave me a boost and a small Hitlerish canter to my step that I hope will see me through the next week.
Next time: how I rounded them all up and shot them.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Were you wearing a power suit and looking ravishing when you dished out this stern ticking off, Sindy? I need to touch up the image for later.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Benway, I think you should stuff at least one copy of said fanzine in your horsey suit this evening.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: If ever anybody says that they want a quick chat, I always assume that I'm about to be given a warning about the internet.
lol, yeah I hear you there man. Mind you, the only way they will bust me screwing around is to go direct to the ISP and that's unlikely. But a a bit of healthy paranoia never hurts.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
If I go home before I come out, I will.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: This is likely to be my last weekday on TMO
This is indeed sad news. I, for one, will miss you, as I can only post during the work week. I think this news raises the question who's going to step up and fill the void left by your absense? I'm not going to kid myself into thinking it's me. I don't have it in me. But I've seen it in a lot of you. So who's it going to be?
As far as getting through each miserable workday goes, I'm driven simply by the knowledge that one day death's sweet caress will remove all my pain.
[ 21.10.2005, 07:33: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
The place where I work sent round a message warning about internet useage a few months ago. I thought the game was up and they'd finally sussed me out. I stopped using the internet at all for about two days. Then dipped into the BBC news site for five minutes one lunchtime. Then checked my Yahoo Mail very very quickly. Next day I thought I'd sneak a look at TMO and a couple of other forums. Anyway, I've ended up forgetting all about the warnings till you posted this thread.
Depends how big your organisation is I suppose but, as Ben says, you're not the type of offender they're after. There's always a serial gambler or a top manager looking at porn in his office or some anarchist passing on access details to the firm's head office. Lie low for a couple of days then get your ass back on here.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh on you Benway, I'm probably projecting a chunk of self-loathing in your direction. I've just scrapped the project I've been working on for the past couple of years as a bad job and am trying something different. At times I get quite excited about that second thing - but I sometimes fret that it's just a coping mechanism for dealing with the larger failure and won't actually amount to anything.
As for this weekend, a couple we know are coming round 'for dinner' tonight. I'm quite looking forward to it as we rub along reasonably well with them and D's friend is heavily pregnant with her third child and therefore likely to look quite stunning. However - the last time we met up, she and I ended up having an almost-row about whether kids should be brought up to be socially adept (conforming, in with the right crowd) or socially self-sufficient. The evening will therefore probably be like one of those Raymond Carver short stories - What's In Alaska?, maybe.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: If I go home before I come out, I will.
Excellent.
Ben, don't apologise for having a go at Benway for his darklybrokenanselfloathinginabedsit shtick, although it may be worth considering the idea that he's actually fishing for such responses.
As far as your own projects, is it not worth simply side-lining the first rather than abandoning it entirely, is it not something you could come back to later?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Ben, don't apologise for having a go at Benway for his darklybrokenanselfloathinginabedsit shtick, although it may be worth considering the idea that he's actually fishing for such responses.
That's some stone cold shit, brother.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: I'm sorry if I was a bit harsh on you Benway, I'm probably projecting a chunk of self-loathing in your direction. I've just scrapped the project I've been working on for the past couple of years as a bad job and am trying something different. At times I get quite excited about that second thing - but I sometimes fret that it's just a coping mechanism for dealing with the larger failure and won't actually amount to anything.
Ben - do you think you call this thing a coping mechanism just so you don't have to take it seriously, and actually icommit to doing something to believe in. Also is that "project" the book you were writing? I wouldn't get too bogged down in the quality to begin with - just get it finished, and remember that the real trick is in re-writing it. It's a lot easier that way.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Ben, don't apologise for having a go at Benway for his darklybrokenanselfloathinginabedsit shtick, although it may be worth considering the idea that he's actually fishing for such responses.
Also - I don't think this is true. At least half the pleasure in complimenting Benway is the fact that it clearly makes him uncomfortable.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: is that "project" the book you were writing?
Yes. I know what you mean about re-writing, but I've been getting more and more frustrated with it over the past six months - even as my workrate has increased and held up well. The fact that I've got a reasonable amount to look at and think about has made me more dubious about the worth of continuing than otherwise - which is pretty bleak, in a way, but I think I've learned a lot in the process so it hasn't entirely been a waste of time.
[ 21.10.2005, 10:33: Message edited by: ben ]
Posted by pyrrho (Member # 462) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: [QUOTE]
It can be horrible when you have a lucid moment though and realise that you really are a pointless waste of space. I try and avoid those as best I can.
This is exactly how I feel at the moment. Destined to never know what I want to be or do when I grow up. I keep hoping that my (obviously) latent talent will suddenly emerge giving me a new purpose in life. I'm 30 years old and I'll still be hoping when I'm 60.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Is Friday over now?
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
almost
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I was hoping for a flurry of posting to take us up to 5. Especially from Thorn, who should go out in a blaze of gory.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by jonesy999: I was hoping for a flurry of posting to take us up to 5. Especially from Thorn, who should go out in a blaze of gory.
I have a new thread, but it's not as good as I hoped.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
This time three years ago, it would have been all 'meat fm', and that shaky nerves feeling. Now, I feel like I'm just going to get lambasted by Boy Racer for being a sell out, and ignored by all of VP's real friends.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Meat FM. You've no idea how much stamina was required to come up with that gibberish.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Everyone's got to come back with lots of hilarious stories about the meet.
And if you could throw in some sex stuf too, that would be great.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
In fact, sorry, this was the worse time to write a thread. Half past four on a Friday? A friday before a meat? Everyone is going to be 'yo what it is my bitches' and having a larff and all that. Fucking Hell.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I'm having one of those days where I don't really feel like I should be interacting with anyone. I sit here in a square of four desks, all facing inwards, with my colleagues. We were chatting earlier, basically just having a laugh. I was really holding court, making a few jokes, telling a few anecdotes, and it was all going really really well. The girls were laughing heartily and I was thinking to myself how great it was being in as job where I didn't feel like my co-workers thought I was strange, or creepy, or unpleasant. So we're sat there laughing, and I was telling them about the time I had a drunken conversation with Chris Tarrant, and how I came out looking like a twat, and how difficult it is to have a conversation with chris Tarrant and come out looking like the twat. and one of them, laughing, kind of collapsing on the desk says through her giggles "Oh Thorn - I just don't know about you sometimes!"
And I replied "That's true! none of you know anything about me other than what I've told you!"
The laughter's kind of sputtering out and there's a giggly "what do you mean?", eager for more funny.
and then, deadpan, "Well. I could be a sex offender for all you know."
And then there was just stoney, uncomfortable silence. And everyone put their heads down and got back to work.
Posted by OJ (Member # 752) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: This time three years ago, it would have been all 'meat fm', and that shaky nerves feeling. Now, I feel like I'm just going to get lambasted by Boy Racer for being a sell out, and ignored by all of VP's real friends.
It could be worse. You could be so out of the loop you're destined to not understand what anyone's talking about for the next fortnight and have to do some work instead.
I'd like an annotated photo story, preferably with name badges worn throughout. Ta.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
lol. i did one of those the other day. i had a particularly annoying customer on the line, who just wouldnt accept that she hadnt actually been apying for her service for something like 9 months, and that far from complaining on and on and fucking on like a half- dead mule about insert my employer's brandname here>>>> inefficiency she should actually just put the phone down, count all the money we hadnt asked her for and shut her stupid fat fucking idiot maw. on the seventh time of explaining this to her i suddenly could take it no longer, and found myself making these HUGE ARCING PUNCHING MOTIONS WITH MY FISTS AND MOUTHING 'JUST FUCKING SHUT UP YOU TWAT!!' at my monitor, with my face all scrunched up wrath- style. when i stopped i looked up to see my supervisor and six team mates sitting staring at me heads cocked to one side, openmouthed, with the supervisor actually rearing back in his seat with confusion. jesus, youd think we didnt work in a call centre or something.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
that didnt work! it was only supposed to be angry monkey.
[ 21.10.2005, 11:42: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
ha ha! Poor old socially inept thorn.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Career. Don't get me started. Oh. You have. Being freelance gives me great opportunity to pretend to myself that my big break is just around the corner, and I could start writing a column about hummous any day now, and become an adored part of the media melieu, and get invited to parties and get given free stuff. However, in the 18 months since I stopped working for one body, with a boss and targets and a woman with a whip, I find myself doing the sort of work I was doing five years ago, as if I had no ambition or gumption or get-up-and-go. I tell myself that it doesn't matter, as I'll be having a baby soon and that a flexible working life is just what's needed to fit in between baby yoga classes and making rice pudding with my own breast milk. Then I remember than I'm old and wizenend and a more likely scenario is no baby and no career, and then I poke my eyes out with my own ovulation-predicting kits.
Howevs, I have just started doing PR for a rilly cool architecture practice, and am re-filled with enthusiasm for my cheese shop idea, so hopefully this temporary rosy burst will keep me from the edge for long enough to find something else mildly diverting.
Posted by Stefanos (Member # 53) on :
The only thing that has kept me going is the thought of getting out of my job. I definitely ain't `Mr Customer Service' and the thought of working in an office for another twenty, thirty, forty years taking shit off someone who shouldn't be allowed access to an Etch-a-Sketch, never mind a laptop doesn't fill my heart with joy. The line of work I have been in feels utterly futile, pointless, unfulfilling and doesn't stretch me in the least.
So, I've been working on it. This last week I have spent my days driving round to schools talking about the R*mans and Saxons, being paid for it and having a laugh. For the first time in about five years I felt job satisfaction.
It feels like I am doing something meaningful. Yesterday afternoon, I could have spent my time changing a password for someone, or configuring RAS. I could have listened to my colleagues bitching about the boss, the prick they've just had to deal with or someone from senior management going on how we should either show a `passion for service' or work for another company.
But I didn't.
Instead, with Mrs Stefanos I taught Anglo Saxon riddles. We read the story of Beowulf in a darkened hall with only candle light for illumination, the children sitting around us, rapt, clamouring to ask us at the end where they could get a copy of the story.
Next weekend I will be selling stuff that myself and Mrs Stefanos make, networking furiously to get more work and having a great time.
My choice is to accept that I spend my working life working with computers, worrying about the last arsy user complaining to my boss because I couldn't recover data from a hard drive he has intentionally deleted, worrying about the `quick chat' mentioned above because of internet usage, worrying about if my contract is being renewed and worrying why my `career' seems one step forward, two steps back.
Fuck that! I'd rather take my chances running my own business. At least if I arse it up, it's down to me and not some prick salesman who negotiated a ludicrously undervalued contract just so he could get his fucking bonus. I've got more faith in my abilities than a lot of cnuts I have had the misfortune to work under.
Of course, I have to spend my time fixing fucking computers and no more school talks until November, but I can hold on...
[ 22.10.2005, 11:56: Message edited by: Stefanos ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Well done Stefanos. May your business thrive and take over from computers forever.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
To get you through Friday? Well its 9am and the couple of hours work yesterday I was supposed to do ended up as being 14 hours, and I've been working already an hour, with no end in sight. And I'm no doubt back in the office tomorrow being Monday.
It wouldn't be so bad, but for one incident yesterday - at about 4 in the evening I'm on a conference call with participants from France, Madrid and Holland of at least 5 nationalities. I'm asked to explain what has happened as far as my installations failing which I do, then later in the call, the director of our department (a Dane) apologises to our development partners in Madrid about the language used at the beginning of the call. After the call, I speak to the release manager joking about who that was aimed at.
5 minutes later I get a call from one of the managers - apparently the director was apologising for my use of language - but it was not like I swore, or used any profanity or even expressed any dismay or anger, yet somehow I'm suddenly embroiled into a mess of inapropriate language. The person the apology was aimed at I called and asked if I had offended, to which she replied most definatley not (she is someone I deal with regularly) and yet now my name is shit with the IT director, who obviously just does not like the way I talk english.
So my weekend is screwed,with no end in sight, I am developing a nsaty headache and plus now I'm probably going to face an inquisition about how I speak my own fucking language, even without the normal profanity I reserve when not at work. I've been in this industry long enough and been a corporate whore most of my life to know to watch my P's and Q's when in meetings. I spoke to another manager who was on the call who could not understand the problem either.
Friday? I just want to get through today without losing my job because some stupid executive who I've never even directly spoken to in the 12 months I have worked there doesn't like my brand of "International English" (IE English for all, not peppered with slang or complex words, but at the same time, not condescending to the people on the call whose excellent command of English as a secondary or tertiary language, does not require me to speak to them like Basil Fawlty to Manuel).
Perhaps I should just tell him to "Sut min behaarede roev, din vatpik" in a language he will understand. If my brand of Tact and Diplomacy is inadequate, well Fuck it. If I'm in line for a stoning, might as well shout "Jehovah" eh?
[ 23.10.2005, 03:39: Message edited by: Waynster ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
stefanos can you please keep an ear out during the reenactors' raffle and upd8 me here on monday, as i have bought one ticket and im feeling lucky. those samurai swords/ hand- stitched braies/ acres of fruit jerky are so mine, mother! Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
The important factor in being a jet-set fancy pants like moi is to burn yer bridges. Columbo did it when he discovered American TV, and there's no motivation like it. It's the numero uno in terms of getting up off your arse and finding another country to play with. Gernerally about a month before a contract ends I have already made provision. If there is anything which can be tied-up, red-taped or just blatently ignored until after you've buggered off it must be tied-up, red-taped and ignored, and if possible, interfered with. Spend your time wisely, sending reports to managers about how the everything you've just developed is shite and could be done properly if it wasn't for them personally interfering. If there is anything that is going to take more than a month to do, do it, well start it anyway - and then arse it up. If anyone mentions references, or favours, or being a team-player - fuck um - they're all just prawns in your intricate game of Ludo.
My name is Vanilla and I am a bastard.
[ 24.10.2005, 07:05: Message edited by: Vanilla Online Persona ]
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for that, possibly rising to a ![[Mad]](mad.gif)
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