I have a birthday coming up. Getting older is worse each year, and as my 'crowd' are increasingly unable to stay up late, at least without being unable to function for the following fortnight, I thought I'd ease the passage (matron) this year by gathering my friends around me in the civilised environment of a private dining room in a posh restaurant. We may even wear frocks. The veneer of civilisation will no doubt crack within an hour or so, but I can but try.
My question to you, at least the civilised among you, is: have you eaten in the private dining room of any London restaurants, or do you know of any that are particularly good? To include the povs among you: have you had any rilly good birthday dos recently?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I didn't even know that such a thing existed.
Posted by MonkeySusan (Member # 569) on :
Chez Bruce is the finest and tastiest eattery in London but very expensive. It's a good place for a really boozey (and reasonably priced) set lunch and then you can move on to the well established local (I forget the name but it's next to Wandsworth Common).
They have a room upstairs which fits about 15 which could work.
Posted by MonkeySusan (Member # 569) on :
Chez Bruce is the finest and tastiest eattery in London but very expensive. It's a good place for a really boozey (and reasonably priced) set lunch and then you can move on to the well established local (I forget the name but it's next to Wandsworth Common).
They have a room upstairs which fits about 15 which could work.
Posted by MonkeySusan (Member # 569) on :
I've posted twice. What a **** I am.
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
ooh ooh! I am going to The Gay Hussar next week for a posh birthday, we have a private room for 20 people. The menu looks tasty, though my experience on Hungarian food in Hungary was not entirely positive. Im expecting it to be substantial.
When is your birthday? I can report back if it is after the 4th. I may even report back anyway!
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
quote:Originally posted by MonkeySusan: Chez Bruce is the finest and tastiest eattery in London but very expensive. It's a good place for a really boozey (and reasonably priced) set lunch and then you can move on to the well established local (I forget the name but it's next to Wandsworth Common).
Scrawny is due to take me here very soon (possibly on Saturday if we can get a cancellation spot). I'm excited.
The pub is called The Hope.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I'm sure Chez Bruce is simply lovely, but it's a trifle out of the way, what with me living in Walthamstow. I was thinking more Clerkenwell, Islington, Shoreditch, "SoSho", wanky places like that.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I think it's time I found a new forum to post on.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Where's Black Mask when you need him.
Bear with me Benway - I'm sure TMO (non-silver) service will be restored shortly.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
Hi Stephen! Are you still looking forward to tomorrow?!
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Yes, greatly. I went to such an establishment at the weekend, and was :sadface: by the quality of food. I hope that you know of a good one - as far as good can exist within the framework of 'generic'.
[ 25.10.2005, 11:20: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: Yes, greatly. I went to such an establishment at the weekend, and was :sadface: by the quality of food. I hope that you know of a good one - as far as god can exist within the framework of 'generic'.
Deep.
[ 25.10.2005, 11:21: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Private rooms are vulgar.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Good.
Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
I'd like to hire that back-room of the bar in Sleepers that would be good. Then all the people who have been molested by life, or Kevin Bacon's truncheon could meet and have one last blow-out, perhaps the last time we'd ever meet again. That would be nice, lovely scene that. I'm particularly looking forward to the b&w photographs showing friends dying of an overdose in a New York bog. We could even have a voice-over saying what happened after. I suspect I may retire and become a carpenter in the English countryside, but I still sleep with the lights on.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
VOP, are you drunk? Or am I? Because that makes no sense to me at all.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I wrote my wedding vows in the back bar from Swingers. A different movie.
Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: VOP, are you drunk? Or am I? Because that makes no sense to me at all.
Have you not seen the last scene of Sleepers?
Its lovely. One of the few wrap-up scenes from Hollywood that didn't seem totally forced.
Apologies - I'd just done a 36 hour chained-to-desk marathon. Though I should point out that lack of sleep was only a minor factor in producing such a crap post.
Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: I wrote my wedding vows in the back bar from Swingers. A different movie.
Are you sure a film involving the picking up of birds should be celebrated in a marriage vow eh?
No wonder your wife prefers Snorton.
Posted by pettibone (Member # 838) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Private rooms are vulgar.
Hear hear.
I can see by what you carry...
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Why are they vulgar? Surely it's more vulgar to take over most of a restaurant with one's party, making lots of noise, unwrapping presents, bumping past other diners' chairs on the way to the loo and disturbing everybody else's peace with one's 'it's my birthday, look at me, oh here's my cake' tediosity?
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: I wrote my wedding vows in the back bar from Swingers. A different movie.
I, Kovacs, promise to be so money...
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Although...
A friend of Mrs. Mask invited us to a karaoke night in a private room in a Chinese restaurant in Lisle Street, once. Thousands of pounds worth of video-disc technology, space-age air-conditioning, wireless mics and astonishing food. We were the only gai-jin there. There were quite a number of private karaoke dining-rooms, but they were only for hire to orientals. When we first arrived at the restaurant and told them we were there for karaoke the staff denied all knowledge, we mentioned the name of the Chinese friend who had invited us and we were brusquely bundled up the stairs to our room. So, a unique experience. In a private dining room. Perhaps, they're not all bad.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Why are they vulgar?
I don't know... it's just the exclusivity thing, know what I mean?
A lot of restaurants get all arsey about their private rooms, as well. Like they're bestowing some amazing honour on you by allowing you to dine apart from the herd in an underheated, poorly decorated, ex-storage room. Often they'll offer you a truncated menu, too.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I know what you mean, but I was hoping that if the place was moderately classy to start with, it would be less of an issue. It's either that, or take over an entire restaurant for the evening, which could be a trifle expensive.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
If you go to porchetta, they all bang pots and pans and play 'happy birthday' over a PA. You can't beat porchetta. The pizzas are still getting bigger - now roughly 1/3 biggger than the plates that they are served upon.
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
the bluebird on the kings road has a private dining room.
pros:
has private dining room
cons:
is nowhere near tube is conran so food = high on £, low on yum is full of sloanes was sold too many fire extinguishers by me in 1996
so forget it.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I fucking loathe the Kings Road. I even loathe the fact that it's got a wholly unnecessary 'the' before it. What I hate about it most is the snotty fucking demeanours on most of the vapid, dessicated ***** who tread its length and the nauseating stench of 'entitlement' they give off. It attracts over-privileged ***** from all over the globe who congregate and promenade with their snooty fucking airs and graces and glances of withering contempt. Oh, and the braying. Did I mention the braying? I hate the braying. If I ever find out I've got 24-hours to live and I can get my hands on a flamethrower 'the' Kings Road better fucking watch out!
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Is it less vulgar and tacky than a "VIP Room" in a club?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: Is it less vulgar and tacky than a "VIP Room" in a club?
I think that if good taste and refinement were represented by the Earth and that the orbit of the moon was described by an ellipse of vulgarity the "VIP Room" would be its apogee.
Posted by Pepper (Member # 353) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: "VIP Room" in a club?
now there's an oxymoron.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
I can't believe we're witnessing an "Egad! How not vulgar am I?" contest between Kovacs, Omikin and Black Mask - that's like Myra, Fred and Harold getting through to the finals of the Daily Mirror "Pride of Britain" Awards.
If you want to make a splash with your vulgar media pals, Herbs, you go girl. There are few things more nauseating than British people tilting at 'good taste' (cf. The Observer 'OM' magazine).
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
ben has never been troubled by 'good taste', herbs. Take his advice at your peril.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
He's practically Italian! Posted by pettibone (Member # 838) on :
If ben is practically Italian, then he must practically be friends with Oliver. Every Italian, practically or otherwise, is a friend of Oliver. Fact.
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
i didn't say i wasn't vulgar, ben. i said that vip rooms in clubs were oxymorons.
you made the leap.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
the fact that the height of BB's craig's ambition was to get into the VIP room of some skanky club in Norwich should have told me all I need to know about the genre.
And there was I, thinking I was posh.
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
anyone who has been to a vip room and still thinks it's a vip room would probably describe having a pizza delivered as getting caterers in.
can my tag be changed to "edith sitwell" or something?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
mmm. pizza.
i was invited to the vip room once. you couldnt hear the musci properly and all the men had gorilla arms from using incorrect technique when working out their biceps. one lady got drunk and started pretending to have sex with a pillar, and then she lezzed up with another lady who looked like her face had been removed and then replaced 30 degrees off- centre. people were either not talking to each other AT ALL, or, talking at each other furiously but not listening to anything the other person said. i wasnt on any drugs, and a vodka and diet coke cost £3 pounds 80- this was four years ago as well- and i was about three stone heavier than any other woman in the room, and i didnt have anyone to talk to because my mate was the one lezzing up the woman with the wonk- up face. and the pillar. so i got the bus home on my own, sober. it was quite rubbish really.
im sure if there had been pizza though it would all have been different.
[ 26.10.2005, 10:14: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
oh my god. maybe that wasnt the end. maybe i was in a hyundai advert.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
Did you lezz up, vtini?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
any other women want to talk about lezzing up?
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
no. nobody wanted to lez me up. even a concrete pillar was more lezzable than me. it was the lezzing equivalent of me standing in a corner with a watermelon. and then she took the watermelon off me and started lezzing that up too. Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
no. i dont want to talk about lezzing up. youve made me feel sad and inferior now just thinking about it. benway. you **** .
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
hey, don't be upset. Watermelons may be a refreshing summertime lesbian treat, but could they do the whole team and still come back for more? Unlikely! There's more to life than lezzing anyway.
[ 26.10.2005, 10:24: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
....but not much more, not much more. Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
do you like boxes?
[ 26.10.2005, 10:37: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i prefer not to reduce my sexuality to boxes, benway.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
which is a no either way you look at it, really.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
lezzol.
[ 26.10.2005, 10:30: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
well, I think we're all somewhat the wiser now.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
...
[ 26.10.2005, 10:38: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by pettibone (Member # 838) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: And there was me, thinking I was posh.
It might've helped if you'd gone posh dining, and I. ( I am so not doing the obvious Withnail comment.)
Posted by statist (Member # 806) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: diet coke cost £3 pounds 80- this was four years ago as well- and i was about three stone heavier than any other woman in the room, [ ... ] and i didnt have anyone to talk to because my mate was the one lezzing up the woman with the wonk- up face. and the pillar.
Maybe you should cut down on the diet coke. That way women may lez it up with you. and the pillar.
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