Some things in life promise so much, some look so appealing and then fail to deliver - sausage and mash on the menu at your local pub, the way that 1940's movies make smoking look really good, how refreshing a drink whiskey seems to be in the old west, yet in reality none of these things live up to their billing.
Nothing more so than Converse all stars trainers - they look so good, they look so comfortable, and yet, slip one on and suddenly your foot screams as each and every piece of gravel, cigarette but or street trash punches through the usless souls in onto your feet. Walk for more than half a mile and your poor fallen arches begin to burn as they find themselves unsupported and rubbing.
So, TMO, what has lied to you in the past? What has presented itself in an oasis like mirage of beauty, only crash into mundane awfulness upon approach?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
my Nvidia EN6600GT. I'm already having to set game specs to 'medium'.
Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
I got a book on that there tantric sex malarkey. It was rubbish. I sat myself down, got out the baby oil, but alas, no bluddy pictures.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
My Cons are pretty comfortable, although I wouldn't go hiking in them. Maybe there's something wrong with your feet?
I feel I was consistently lied to throughout my school life about how important it was to work hard and pass your exams, so that you could get "a good job".
More specifically, hair removal cream and bikini waxing strips were useless products wrapped in swathes of lies. Also that "brilliant brunette" shampoo. Turd-brown hair is turd-brown hair.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I agree about All Stars, they're like wearing a plastic bag. I mean...oh I just can't be bothered. Ignore this post.
[ 09.11.2005, 06:00: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Not being a total child means I can wear Converse All Stars without bleating like a little lamb about how much they hurt. However I would agree with Vogon about the lies to do with getting educated, getting a decent job, getting ahead etc. I wouldn't have minded if there'd been more emphasis on simple self improvement through education - I could have related to that, and I agree with it. But the nonsense about jobs and stuff is just shit. I still don't have any clear idea of how to succeed in the world of work.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: So, TMO, what has lied to you in the past? What has presented itself in an oasis like mirage of beauty, only crash into mundane awfulness upon approach?
My first wife. Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: So, TMO, what has lied to you in the past? What has presented itself in an oasis like mirage of beauty, only crash into mundane awfulness upon approach?
Friends. Everyone bangs on about how 'friends are the new family', and if you've got 'good friends' then you're set. But what happens? They all bugger off and have babies. No more cheeky Thursday piss-ups (or Tuesday, Wednesday or Friday piss-ups, for that matter), no more Sunday afternoons renting a box-set of ER for a Noah-Wyle-fest, no phone calls at one in the morning with slurred demands to Come Out And Play. It sucks.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'm feeling that. A few years ago, I had loads of friends. I was out every other night and I was booking my weekends about a month in advance. A social butterfly - drink in hand, and a glint in my eye.
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
Ipods! The ads make them look sooo cool. All the people dancing and having trendy hair and clothes and looking uber cool. Well I have one next to me and I'm just as much of a dork as I was yesterday.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'm quite lonely.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by squeegy: Ipods! The ads make them look sooo cool. All the people dancing and having trendy hair and clothes and looking uber cool. Well I have one next to me and I'm just as much of a dork as I was yesterday.
Same with Diesel Jeans.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
(((((((((((((DB)))))))))))))
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
quote:So, TMO, what has lied to you in the past? What has presented itself in an oasis like mirage of beauty, only crash into mundane awfulness upon approach?
Losing weight will instantly make you feel wonderful and you will be a more secure and happy person for it
Its a lie!
I have just exactly the same insecurities as before I just have a smaller bum to sit on whilst I contemplate them
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
I suspect that this is also true about having lots of money, but I'd quite like the opportunity to find out for myself.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Fucking hell yeah. I'd hate to be so poor I could only afford a four bedroom house in the middle of Oxford. How ever do you cope.
[ 09.11.2005, 08:58: Message edited by: Thorn Davis ]
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
Three bedroom. As the top floor has been reserved for fitting up with blue neon, porn, and computer games. Apparently.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Ask any estate agent and they'll all agree: turning the loft room into a porn dungeon adds greater value than an extra bedroom. It's a 'feature'.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: I'm quite lonely.
I would take you out for a beer but I have no money. I am totally trying to cane off all debt in one swoop so that I emerge from the poor cacoon like a bling butterfly flapping my wings into the wind tunnel of dollar bill$z.
But you can always come over to chez Television and hang if you want to escape craggy towers.
Ever felt robbed?: Adults saying to me as a child "good things come in small packages" As if dealing with the fact that you are a stunted dwarf, they give you a hang up about penis size. Posted by Vanilla Online Persona (Member # 301) on :
I'd luv to take both of you out for a much deserved beer. However, I suspect it may become some sort of cock comparing competition. Its always about the cock with you guys.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Is that an offer VOP? You won't have very stiff competition.
Did you see what I did there? I enjoyed that.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
thanks mickey, but isn't chez television in Bristol or something?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Not quite as west as that: Hammersmith.
You know, there'd be buggerall to do here, but I do a when I think of you sat in on your own. I know you're a big boy now but I like to keep the door open.
I should probably mention that my girlfriends knitting makes me sad so you should ignore my sentimental nonsense.
[ 09.11.2005, 09:35: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
don't be dissing the bristol, benway, it is home to Hippy Towers.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I'm only dissing it in terms of how near it is to Finsbury Park.
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I still don't have any clear idea of how to succeed in the world of work.
get a trade. learn how to be a plumber, an electrician, a builder a mechanic. world needs 'em.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Freelancing: as sold = freedom, constant commissions by editors in challenging spectacles, a world of exciting possibilities open to you, only minor self-publicity required. Reality = doing work I was doing 10 years ago, gradual erosion of self-confidence, inability to self-publicise due to said lack of confidence, increase in bitterness regarding youngsters telling me what to do, absence of writing on laptop on sunny park bench.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I would like to become a butcher. Is this feasible, do you think?
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
probably not halal.
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: I would like to become a butcher. Is this feasible, do you think?
dunno. do you like playing with meat, throwing sausages around, working in the freezing cold and potentially chopping you hands off?
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
You could be the butcher on Uber's farm, and have a little shop like Hugh F-W. That would be nice.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
He is a F W isn't he.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
I'd like to become a plasterer, or a carpenter, or a cheese shop proprietor. Yes, that dream is still trotting along, mainly because I want the pickle cupboard called Chutney Locker.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
If you ever want a change of scenery Doc B you're always more than welcome to come and spend a weekend in sunny Woking at chez Physic, a half hour train ride from Waterloo and you too can marvel at the site of half-built blocks of flats and a crap statue which has something to do with War Of The Worlds.
Seriously though, mi casa su casa or however the fuck it goes.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: I would like to become a butcher. Is this feasible, do you think?
I do a fair bit of my own butchery, something I learnt from my Grandfather and handy these days as I only get back home to the land of 'good meat' once in a while.
Like now I have a good quarter of a cow in my deep freeze, bought in giant chunks it's cheaper but I've had to butcher it all up into normal steaks, prime rib, rib eye on the bone, sirloin steaks and rib eye steaks (de-boned) and a couple of decent sized roasting joints rolled and tied for a good Sunday lunch when I can be arsed to make Yorkshire puddings.
I love it..
Because I never did a proper apprenticeship I can probably never be a butcher though, so I reckon it's probably quite hard to become one.
My family likes to do that sort of thing though, not so much the butchery but the finding of foods, going halfway across England to buy a sheep or a deer was normal for me as a kid..
Worst job ever though for a butcher has to be cleaning and preparing tripe, there's no smell on the planet that can compare, no slimier, rubberier goop known to man..
Are you sure you still want to be a butcher ?
[ 09.11.2005, 15:57: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by doc d (Member # 781) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: I do a fair bit of my own butchery[/QB]
Posted by Honeybaby (Member # 543) on :
quote:Originally posted by Benny the Ball: So, TMO, what has lied to you in the past? What has presented itself in an oasis like mirage of beauty, only crash into mundane awfulness upon approach?
Smoking, in spite of Superman's assertions, it's not big or clever ( I may have misunderstood the advert there admittedly) and it doesn't make boys fancy you (unless they already had a predilection for slutty looking girls.)
Incidentally,
quote:Originally posted by doc d: do you like playing with meat, throwing sausages around,
Yes, so if VOP does hold his,
quote:Originally posted by Vanilla Online Persona: cock comparing competition. Its always about the cock with you guys.
I'll help judge.
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
in my dream last night i dreamt i had applied for a job at a 'medieval butchers'* on gloucester road. i had to go for an interview, which involved watching coldplay in a large field with all the other wannabe medieval butchers. then i got caught having sex with one of my ex- boyfriends in a toilet.
* i dont know what this means.
[ 10.11.2005, 09:32: Message edited by: discodamage ]
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
that's quite a cool dream. I dreamed about Froopy and Rooster last night. I dreamed that I was invited to go on a trip back in time to the late seventies, but the portal could only open up in Boston, and for some reason F & R were living in Boston. We were going to go to a club there, and I was trying to sort out what to wear but every time I put something on, it turns out that somebody else in the group was wearing something almost identical.
When we got to Boston, the club was being held in a second hand bookshop, and we had to wait for it close. I kept on falling asleep, so Froppy gave me a little wrap of coke, and I thought that he had been a bit tight, but didn't say anything. The club finally opened, and there were loads of fairly attractive women there, and then the dream took a different direction.
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