I have a new son! On Tuesday, February 21, at 9:01am, mrs ralph gave birth to a beautiful baby boy, my third son. He weighed in at 8 pounds, 3 ounces. He looks just like his father, minus the beard of course. mrs ralph and baby ralph are doing well. We love him more than you can possibly imagine. Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Well done Ralph and Mrs Ralph and the Ralphettes...
Congrats from all at TMO.
[ 28.02.2006, 07:37: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Happy 1,000th, Ralph! Oh and well done on the baby, too.
[ 28.02.2006, 07:40: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Happy 1,000th, Ralph! Oh and well done on the baby, too.
You do realize that I purposely avoided posting the big 1000 until my child was born? After the pressure you put on me, I figured who would give me grief about a crap 1000th post if it was about the birth of my baby? Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Top one Ralph. There's a lot of good sperm on TMO. Well done. I'm going to steal a baby for my 6k post and write the ransom note on here.
[ 28.02.2006, 07:45: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
Best 1000th post ever. Congrats!
I am slightly worried you are creating an army of ralphs set on destroying the world with gay innuendo though.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Congratulations, ralph.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: He looks just like his father, minus the beard of course.
Congratulations, ralph.
Posted by Doctor Agamemnon When (Member # 189) on :
Hooray for shagging and the inevitable consequences! Well done, Sir.
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
Nice one, ralph!
What's the little one's name?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher:
What's the little one's name?
ralph. Just like the other two.
Posted by Bandy (Member # 12) on :
Roy, surely?
Posted by Esmeralda (Member # 527) on :
Congrats to all. Do we get a pic?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher: Nice one, ralph!
What's the little one's name?
His name is Galen. Although the name Roy did briefly make the short list.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Esmeralda: Do we get a pic?
Is the posting of baby pictures acceptable at TMO? I only ask because I was given grief somewhere else when I posted pictures of my children...
[ 28.02.2006, 08:15: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by turbo (Member # 593) on :
Congratulations ralph!!! You must be over the moon.
Also yes, you must post pictures. Now. I demand it.
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Post away, if we fathers can't big up our kids then it's a sorry world we live in...
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Congratulations Ralph. Fuck off Squeegy.
[ 28.02.2006, 08:45: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
How about reading the thread before posting.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: minus the beard of course.
Give it time..
Congrats to the Ralph clan!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by turbo: Congratulations ralph!!! You must be over the moon.
Also yes, you must post pictures. Now. I demand it.
Thanks, Turbo. Yes, the entire family is pretty wasted these days.
I might send you one privately if you have no objections, as I fear posting a pic would almost immediately result in it being reposted with an added beard.
ETA: Thanks for proving my point, Physic.
[ 28.02.2006, 08:47: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: I only ask because I was given grief somewhere else when I posted pictures of my children...
Haha! What kind of mummentfruntz nuggets would complain about something like that?
quote:Originally posted by ralph: On Tuesday, February 21, at 9:01am, mrs ralph gave birth to a beautiful baby boy
Your last post was: 15-02-2006 14:39 so fair play to your wife for sticking to her guns and giving birth despite the tykes desire to stay firmly in place.
[ 28.02.2006, 08:54: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Niffer (Member # 266) on :
congrats, Roy. Posted by squeegy (Member # 136) on :
That baby looks just like George Carlin!
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Thanks for proving my point, Physic.
To be fair it would have been a very tasteful beard for Ralph Jr, maybe a nice handlebar moustache or a nice pair of lamb-chops Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
and mince hair, with mint sauce aftershave
[ 28.02.2006, 08:59: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
^^^
Hang on, isn't that Misc?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
God you're right - that's my old hairstyle (before I made the life-changing switch from reading Side Parting Monthly to Centre Parting Weekly).
Posted by rooster (Member # 738) on :
Congrats ralph!
Though, I'm surprised you couldn't produce at least a nine pounder
Looking back, you'll see froopy posted pictures of ours (and as far as I know, they weren't altered...at least here on tmo).
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Congratulations, ralph. Good news indeed.
A boy you say?
Any, ahem, ideas for a name?
Love
ROY Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by squeegy: How about reading the thread before posting.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
quote:Originally posted by Niffer: congrats, Roy.
This is great.
Congratulations Ralph! x
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by rooster: Congrats ralph!
Though, I'm surprised you couldn't produce at least a nine pounder
Looking back, you'll see froopy posted pictures of ours (and as far as I know, they weren't altered...at least here on tmo).
That's what my wife and I said when we saw him. Look how tiny he is!. That was before we knew he was 8+ pounds. Our second was close to 10, so we're chalking this up to a genetic freak of some sort. I just wish I could produce a female child. Curse these overly-masculine loins of mine!
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
Congratulations Ralph on 't nipper - hope he brings you lots of joy
[ 28.02.2006, 09:21: Message edited by: Waynster ]
Posted by Skalski (Member # 852) on :
Congratulations, ralph. My best wishes to you and yours. As well you know.
quote:Originally posted by ralph: We love him more than you can possibly imagine.
I think I may have an idea. I bet you've not stopped smiling under that beard of yours.
I was tempted to pre-empt this thread when you'd not been around for a few days, but didn't want to piss on your parade.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Skalski: Congratulations, ralph. My best wishes to you and yours. As well you know.
I think I may have an idea. I bet you've not stopped smiling under that beard of yours.
I was tempted to pre-empt this thread when you'd not been around for a few days, but didn't want to piss on your parade.
Thanks dude. I thought about you briefly during my absense and wondered if you had figured out what I was up to. Posted by Skalski (Member # 852) on :
Oh yes. I know things.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Congratulations Ralph - enjoy these times and take lots of pictures.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Congrats Ralph and family.
Still waiting for photopostage of course. We promise not to photoshop it [small print]for at least five minutes[/small print].
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: Still waiting for photopostage of course. We promise not to photoshop it [small print]for at least five minutes[/small print].
It ain't gonna happen. I have no desire to see my innocent newborn with a beard, devil horns, or Brian Peppers' eyes. But thanks for the congrats to all those who offered them.
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
hey ralph
congratulations on the new arrival!
one more and you got your very own barbershop quartet in the making Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Kira: hey ralph
congratulations on the new arrival!
one more and you got your very own barbershop quartet in the making
Kudos to Kira for seeing right through the ralph family master plan. Have four boys and groom them to be the next big barbershop quartet. Obviously barbershop is ready and poised to make a huge comeback, and when it does, ol' ralph will be there waiting to rake in the big bucks.
Thanks for the congrats Kira. And apologies for the sarcasm. Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
But why not go for five? After all it is the magical boy-band number.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: But why not go for five? After all it is the magical boy-band number.
Sshhhhhh. mrs ralph wants six. Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Sshhhhhh. mrs ralph wants six.
And you've already given her some, three times it seems.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Happy first birthday baby ralph! Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
aww... nice one ralph
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
not really that nice. I had forgotten until the mrs. reminded me. Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
oh ralph Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
For a minute Ralph I thought you'd had another one...
Found my password so I could congratulate you and everything
Happy 1st birthday to little one anyways though x
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
awww. Thanks Kira. That was very nice of you. Don't be a stranger. Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
Go ralph and the wife!!!! And the little bairn - 1 year old!
You have no idea how broody the Ball household is right now!
Pictures?
e t hide the fact that I too thought you'd got another one out, and have covered it up with a hasty edit to make it look, smoothly like I can read dates and shit.
[ 21.02.2007, 15:47: Message edited by: Benny the Ball ]
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
Glad I wasn't the only one confused. Although, my confusion lay in the fact that Ralph has over 3500 posts, and I couldn't figure out why everyone was congratulating him on his 1000th!
Duh...next time look at dates.
Happy birthday to your lil one.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Way to go ralph. I hope you and mrs ralph have a great birthday party with all three boys running wild.
It was the anniversary of W H Auden's 100th birthday too.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Ralph you are a fucking disgrace.
In other news: I am due a second child on the 20th of March - does this win me anything?
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
Moral superiority?
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: In other news: I am due a second child on the 20th of March - does this win me anything?
Congratulations Ben on baby no. 2 Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: Moral superiority?
pwned! Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Well done ben, that's a nice small gap between the two so sleep deprevation will be short lived..
How's family life treating you ?
[ 22.02.2007, 04:48: Message edited by: Darryn.R ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
congratulations to ralph and ben and sidney and whoever else is spawning future forites
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Hey Mr Ben, author of today's thread on the use of words and language...I presume you mean that your child is due on the 20th of March, rather than that a child is owed to you?
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
[ 22.02.2007, 04:48: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by Bad Tmo Boy (Member # 909) on :
Fucking ebay.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Congratulations to you both, ben.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Congratulations, Ben.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Congrats Ben!
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
oh, yeah. congratulations, that's what I meant to say!
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
For all those expecting little babies soon: congratulations. Well played.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: Hey Mr Ben, author of today's thread on the use of words and language which was meant to generate self-deprecating responses but which mutated into the Come To Daddy video but with Stephen Fry's face on the demonic children rather than Richard James's.
Posted by Samuelnorton (Member # 48) on :
Congratulations Ralph!
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Hey, ben - excellent news! Congratulations to you both. Hope D is feeling well and not finding the third trimester too draining.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Oh, congratulations, Ben. I think this now ups the percentage of people what I know off the interweb what have imminent sprogs to about 48%.
Pointless statistic number 23 in a series of 25.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
She's doing really well, thanks Sidney.
She finishes work in less than a week so is looking forward to a bit of time alone with Sam before the arrival of the individual I am already taunting him will be "your greatest ever rival for our love".
I'm also reading Edward St Aubyn's novel Mother's Milk, which is a terrific, horribly intimate account of a father-son relationship, seen from both perspectives. It has an astonishing account of birth told from the baby's point of view.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: the arrival of the individual I am already taunting him will be "your greatest ever rival for our love".
lol. It's great being a dad. Congratulations ben. If you thought having one was hard, you can't possibly imagine the hell that is in store for you with two.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by ben: the arrival of the individual I am already taunting him will be "your greatest ever rival for our love".
lol. It's great being a dad. Congratulations ben. If you thought having one was hard, you can't possibly imagine the hell that is in store for you with two.
Yeh. So tough you went and had athird.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam: Yeh. So tough you went and had a third.
Yeah, but I'm an idiot.
edited to fix sam's horrendous ubb code
[ 22.02.2007, 07:32: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: edited to fix sam's horrendous ubb code
pedant
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Anal-retentive programmer would be more accurate.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Are kids really all that? We've been thinking about getting one, but I'm not convinced. You seem to hear a lot of complaints about them these days, and there's a lot that can go wrong. I'm wondering whether they're worth the hassle and the expense? Also you're expected to interact with other kid-owners aren't you? I just don't know.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: If you thought having one was hard, you can't possibly imagine the hell that is in store for you with two.
lol - nah. Kids are a piece of piss.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Anal-retentive programmer would be more accurate.
And what is it that you can programme your anus to retain?
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
On second thoughts ralph, don't go there.
Sorry. Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Are kids really all that? We've been thinking about getting one, but I'm not convinced. You seem to hear a lot of complaints about them these days, and there's a lot that can go wrong. I'm wondering whether they're worth the hassle and the expense? Also you're expected to interact with other kid-owners aren't you? I just don't know.
Promise me Thorn...PROMISE ME! that you'll never reproduce.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You are a fickle beast, sam.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Come off it, ralph - I'd be a great dad. I want to have a little blonde haired girl called Alice, who I can take for walks in the park and who teases the ducks. And I can buy her a drumkit for her birthday. By the time she's 16 she'll be drumming in a death metal band, with her blonde hair in braids (shaved round the sides) and a few rings through her nose. Probably expelled from school for stabbing some other kid with broken glass, and then prising their belly button out with a bottle opener. It'll be mint. I'd go to her gigs and wave from the back.
[ 22.02.2007, 08:00: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
Yeah I'm kind of hmmm about kids. Sometimes I think, you know, a good way of killing 20 years or so, but then other times I think maybe I'd prefer to just laze around boozing. I think I'd get tired of them quite quickly.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I am surprisingly immune to kid-fear. If one arrived on the doorstep in a basket tomorrow I'd sigh a little bit and go to the corner shop to buy a carrier bag full of cat food.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
They're just so needy and annoying.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
ever since auroville, which was the first time in my adulthood that i really hung out with kids, i've wanted a couple of the little shits. i'd give them stupid geldof-esque names and take them to the aquarium. it'll be fun.
[ 22.02.2007, 08:16: Message edited by: vikram ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Come off it, ralph - I'd be a great dad. I want to have a little blonde haired girl called Alice, who I can take for walks in the park and who teases the ducks. And I can buy her a drumkit for her birthday. By the time she's 16 she'll be drumming in a death metal band, with her blonde hair in braids (shaved round the sides) and a few rings through her nose. Probably expelled from school for stabbing some other kid with broken glass, and then prising their belly button out with a bottle opener. It'll be mint. I'd go to her gigs and wave from the back.
But what if little Alice didn't want to be a drummer? What then? What if she wanted to be an accountant?
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: You are a fickle beast, sam.
You know, my beloved knows when I have been on tmo. He says I swear more and am somewhat common. It makes him wince.
Alas it is true. In rl I am really sweet and polite but something happens to me after a while on here.
I try to fight it.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: But what if little Alice didn't want to be a drummer? What then? What if she wanted to be an accountant?
Didn't you read my post? She's going to be a delinquent drummer in a death metal band. For fuck's sake use your eyes, man.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: They're just so needy and annoying.
Unlike the sort of parents who lie about, drinking booze.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Extended exposure to my sister's kids last year when she left her husband and moved in with my mum reinforced my view that they're evil little shits. So, er, no. Thanks.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I am surprisingly immune to kid-fear. If one arrived on the doorstep in a basket tomorrow I'd sigh a little bit and go to the corner shop to buy a carrier bag full of cat food.
LOL
I'm a bit scared of the whole kids thing. I definately want a couple, and had originally had the age of 28 in my head as being a good time to start thinking about it (age mum was when she had me), but now I'm 28 I think I want another couple of years of lazing about before we go for it. I'm not as scared as I used to be though, and I now see little kids in cute clothes, and think "aaaw" rather than "eeek", so I'm definately getting closer (Pink too I think, though he did nearly faint recently when he saw I'd bought a pregnancy test lol).
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak:
quote:Originally posted by ralph: But what if little Alice didn't want to be a drummer? What then? What if she wanted to be an accountant?
Didn't you read my post? She's going to be a delinquent drummer in a death metal band. For fuck's sake use your eyes, man.
I'm with ralph. You've confused me, Mr Black.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Extended exposure to my sister's kids last year when she left her husband and moved in with my mum reinforced my view that they're evil little shits. So, er, no. Thanks.
That's bad luck. Maybe they were acting out on the change in their lives?
My sister's boy is beautiful and great and I love him to bits. I can confidently state that new babies are not part of my future so I get to be his favourite relative after his mummy and that's cool.
But my sister is something special too.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam: You've confused me, Mr Black.
What's confusing about that? My daughter's not going to be an accountant - she's going to be the drummer in a death metal band.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Children are not for everyone. My sister decided never to have kids, and I respect her for that. There's nothing sadder than people who do reproduce and then realize that they shouldn't have.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: They're just so needy and annoying.
You could wear a pair of glasses with Bitmap Focal Lenses, Nuts. Then you could pretend it's a type of virtual reality Japanese import DS game. called something like 'Shitaku: nappy change power party' Expansion packs would feature Rumblepak Tantrums and a wii controller to simulate tanning their hides with a slipper.
[ 22.02.2007, 08:26: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam: That's bad luck.
Why?
[ 22.02.2007, 08:27: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
lolll NWOD
[ 22.02.2007, 08:27: Message edited by: not... ]
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: [QUOTE]What's confusing about that? My daughter's not going to be an accountant - she's going to be the drummer in a death metal band.
God love you for your innocence Mr Black. I hope your optimism is rewarded.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche:
quote:Originally posted by sam: That's bad luck.
Why?
Just because it's nicer to enjoy people than not.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam: Just because it's nicer to enjoy people than not.
You really are quite mad, aren't you?
[ 22.02.2007, 08:34: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam: Just because it's nicer to enjoy people than not.
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