My mum got her words mixed up at the dinner table, She meant to tell us that she had the video, in reference to a conversation we were having about Buena Vista Social Club. Instead she came out with "I got the VD". A bit of a bombshell to say the least. Luckily my 2 year old didn't overhear - "Nana's got the VD" would of been a difficult one to explain.
also, 2 year old psychopath in the back of the car after coming home from a friends house:
2yo "mummy get out car"
mummy: mummy can't get out the car darling, the cars moving"
2yo "mummy get out car, get run over"
daddy: that's not very nice is it? You don't want mummy to get run over do you?
2yo (Blank expression) "yeh"
anything happen at the weekend for you? Meet any strange people, do anything stupid, heard someone say something weird? Or did you just sit in your room with your games console, not answering your phone, in your pants?
[ 19.02.2007, 07:02: Message edited by: not... ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Benway hurried me out of the toilet in the Chinese so I shit myself 5 footsteps away from my front door.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
urgh.
You didn't have to share that. Haven't you come across the concept of an internal monolgue?
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: my 2 year old
I knew it! Why did you lie to me when I tried to out you?
Weekend was largely based around my parents coming up on Sunday to see my new home for the first time, which sent Octavia into a whirlwind of cleaning, DIY, cooking and bug eyed stress at making a good impression on my folks. I spent most of Saturday morning trying to make wireless internet work and occasionally walking across the freshly coated stonework on the kitchen floor and getting shouted out.
Parental visit went OK - they seemed to like the house, although they treated me like a guest in my own home - telling me to take my shoes off before going upstairs etc. There was a bad moment when I was showing off the Wii and my mother thought that you could control it with - you know - just your hand and stood in front of it waving her fist like a tennis raquet. Once it was all explained, she beat my dad at Wii tennis, which soured the atmosphere a bit, but I took them out to a clock museum in the afternoon and they settled down a bit.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Monolgue? There was some external analgoo. That's for sure.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
What?
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Very witty!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Well I'm dying to know what you got up to this weekend sam, but I'm assuming you defecated properly so maybe we could take take that a given and skip to the exciting part.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: [QUOTE]Originally posted by not...: [qb] my 2 year old I knew it! Why did you lie to me when I tried to out you?
I dunno, I guess I felt that if I let on to you that I had a family and people I cared about that you would note it down and use it against me at some point in the future. Like in Gladiator when he escapes execution but then they kill his wife and son and he arrives home to find their burnt bodies hanging from his porch.
...
maybe not quite that bad, but along those sort of lines.
quote:There was a bad moment when I was showing off the Wii and my mother thought that you could control it with - you know - just your hand and stood in front of it waving her fist like a tennis raquet.
lolol I can just see this, superb.
[ 19.02.2007, 07:24: Message edited by: not... ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: I guess I felt that if I let on to you that I had a family and people I cared about that you would note it down and use it against me at some point in the future.
What are the chances of that when you won't show us a picture eh not? We've had to draw what we think we remember you look like. Draw.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
My weekend was shit.
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
Saturday involved meeting up at 11am at a pub on Whitehall in London, and then going on a 'Dick Whittington' pub crawl for the next 9 hours roughly, consuming a ridiculous quantity of quality ale, undoubtedly being increasingly loud and obnoxious, and generally having a damn good laugh.
We did make one mistake though, trying to find a chinese restaurant that would take a group of 7 pissed people, with no booking..on Chinese New Years eve.. So we ended up in Chiquito's in Leicester Square, eating some very nice tex-mex, and being entertained by our extremely camp waiter who insisted on telling us that he was really an actor and he was only waiting as a sideline.
Sunday involved recovering..
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I had a really good time on Saturday. Sorry I'm a massive lightweight.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
quote:Originally posted by Physic: Saturday involved meeting up at 11am at a pub on Whitehall in London, and then going on a 'Dick Whittington' pub crawl for the next 9 hours roughly, consuming a ridiculous quantity of quality ale, undoubtedly being increasingly loud and obnoxious, and generally having a damn good laugh.
We did make one mistake though, trying to find a chinese restaurant that would take a group of 7 pissed people, with no booking..on Chinese New Years eve.. So we ended up in Chiquito's in Leicester Square, eating some very nice tex-mex, and being entertained by our extremely camp waiter who insisted on telling us that he was really an actor and he was only waiting as a sideline.
Sunday involved recovering..
That's a good overview, but I guess what I'm looking for on this thread is the smaller details, an anecdote, a tiny moment, a snippet, a morsel if you must.
[ 19.02.2007, 07:40: Message edited by: not... ]
Posted by Physic (Member # 195) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I had a really good time on Saturday. Sorry I'm a massive lightweight.
Don't be daft, it was great to see you and Benway, I'm just glad you waited until later to shit your pants, that sort of thing can really put a crimper on a good time..
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: That's a good overview, but I guess what I'm looking for on this thread is the smaller details, an anecdote, a tiny moment, a snippet, a morsel if you must.
What, you think Not's shit qualifies as an appropriate 'morsel' then?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
This is gold dust.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
I went to see Guillemotts on Friday which was great despite yet another boringly pretentious and self conscious fucking London crowd. "Oh no we can't possibly sing collectively at your suggestion Mr Musician, that might be fun."
After that we went to a bar for a very quick drink before fucking that off and going back to a mate's place and stayed up all night listening to music and dribbling.
After staggering home and scoring about three hours sleep I went round to my Dad's to move some furniture for him, then promptly returned home and back to bed.
I woke up in the dark and called a friend to come out to the geezery local boozer which was practically deserted. After several continental lagers and a good deal of talking shit we went back to mine and played Wii for a few hours before I sent him on his way in a cab.
On Sunday I lay around waiting for the British Gas repairman to come and fix my boiler. I also played some Zelda, watched Vampire Hunter D and some Firefly, and did some free weights and push-ups and an hour on the excercise bike.
It was all very nice, but I need to crack into the DIY, and I keep avoiding in favour of fun or sitting on my arse.
[ 19.02.2007, 10:20: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Why am I calling NWOD Not?
Much apologies all round.
My weekend was shite, although not in the NWOD sense. I have a pair of lungs that collapse if someone in the next room sneezes and after catching a lurgy a week or so ago from a friendly twat on public transport who didn't know what a hanky was, they are working on low capacity. It means I will soon be on steroids, and eating like a horse, which will do little for my waistline. The lack of oxygen will explain my stupidity I hope.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I took MiniGree to see the worst film ever made. Epic Movie. Very, very, very, very bad. It made the Star Wars Christmas Special seem "good".
MiniGree loved it. She should know better, but she is 11 and had decided that she was going to like it before going, so it scored a hit with her. The film had no redeeming feature at all.
It was really, really bad.
Bad Movie.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: My weekend was shit.
What happened?
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: .....the worst film ever made.....
I don't know, films at the moment seem particularly bad. I am still reeling from supposing that Babel might be the best of a poor lot and still hating almost every moment of it. I know the King of Scotland is meant to be so so, but Uganda? For a fun afternoon out?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: What happened?
I surveyed the bleakness of my future and cried a lot. On the upside, tea on Saturday was burger and chips.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
There was no 6 Nations, so technically that didn't actually qualify as a weekend at all, but it did mean that I actually did things on Saturday and Sunday, even if they were incredibly dull things like going to the bank and sort of looking at the garden thinking, "I'd better fix that, and cut that, and sweep that. soon. ish."
Also, my partner has gone native and got herself a job at t'mill (t'historic National Trust one near our house). Actually she's been working there off and on for a while now doing rubbish jobs, but now they're paying her to demonstrate historic cotton mill equipment out of the Industrial Revolution. This is the first job I've known where people go, "Oh, wow" [*interested*] when she tells them instead of the sort of vacant mumble, "how interesting" [*change subject*] which most of us are used to. So that's really good as she's right into history and that, but it means I'm on my own at the weekends now and will have to console myself with drinking beer and watching rugby and saying, "don't do that" to the children.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: and saying, "don't do that" to the children.
What sort of things will they be doing to make you say that?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Putting coats on
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
lol. Good one Ringu.
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Weekend has been reasonably uneventful here. Rooster's had some photo work to keep her busy, and I've been all domestic, to the point of actually involving baking, frightening as that may sound. Today, it's stupidly cold*, and we are about to head out to drive 100 miles for my nephew's birthday party. Which in itself should be OK, were it not for the variety of other stressors which are always involved at any given family gathering. A good way to finish off the long holiday weekend, possibly marginally better than having had to go to work today.
* = 2F/-16C at the moment, brr.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Why is putting coats on funny.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche:
quote:Originally posted by not...: What happened?
I surveyed the bleakness of my future and cried a lot. On the upside, tea on Saturday was burger and chips.
FWIW Sorry to hear that.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Why is putting coats on funny.
In crowd joke.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: FWIW Sorry to hear that.
Cheers. I cried in the post office earlier, but it is full of madders anyway so I suspect no-one actually noticed.
[ 19.02.2007, 10:06: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
I used to be so in-crowd.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i had an EZCELLENT weekend. i went to glastonbury for the day on sunday and got broken by a goddess healer. well, she didnt do the breaking, i accidentally broke myself by being cockminded enough to believe that having a woman called 'koko' gently manipulate my toes for one hundred and eighty seconds whilst humming was enough to rid me of my utterly crippling perennial february- based spiritual and physical malaise. the healing was provided on a donations only basis and i only had 33 pee on me so i think i got my money's worth. anyway, once my auras had been cleansed and my power animal had retired back to its otherworldy den to wash its bottom*, i was suddenly filled with an INTENSE NEED to climb to the tor. so i did. very quickly. in fact it took me 34 minutes to get from the high street to the tor. thats really quite quick, especially considering i walked half a mile down the road to street before turning back towards the chalice well. the path is quite narrow up to the tor and i almost accidnetally kicked a labrador in the heid, so desperate was i to look down upon the blessed vale of avalon. (i couldnt see anything! it was all misty! it was like the cover of a led zeppelin album!) hence: brokenness.
here is the excellent part of my weekend though. the bristol- glastonbury bus changes at wells, location of HOT FUZZ. wells cinema has MASSIVE hot fuzz posters in the window and a sign by the door saying '<i>sandford miniplex- home of hot fuzz</i>. its a very nice thing. unfortunately, just because wells is the location of the nation's current number one box office draw doesnt mean that those ***** at first travel havent decided to rip the bus station to pieces and then not tell any of their employees (who are all, naturally, from a small hamlet just outside katowice) where the buses to bristol are supposed to leave from. so after ten minutes of trying to find the bus- stop, wathcing the bus trundle off towards bris without me on it, there i was, at eight o clock in the evening, worrying that i was stuck in wells for the night! fucking shitcocks! and my phone was about to run out and id given all my money to koko the toe- manipulating snake-oil vendeuse. luckily i only had to run up and down outisde wells tesco for twenty minutes gibbering and blagging rollups off teenagers before a nice man informed me that not only did first employ fucktards but that their bus stop info was written by fucktards, and that there was another bus in twenty minutes. but not before replying to my jokey comment that i thought i would have to sleep at the bus station for the night with the extremely sinister warning that '<i>ooh, thatd the quickest way to end up in the cells for the night'</i>. WELCOME TO SANDFORD! EYYYYY!
then i went home and had hobnobs for dinner. wizzo!
* my power animal is a starnosed mole called denise.
[ 19.02.2007, 10:22: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
The funniest moment I can recall from the weekend is my good friend 'Mooney' - who is nearly fifty - taking four ecstasy pills during the Manchester City Vs Reading match. He claims that he has to take them in order for him to be able to 'drink properly' - it is standard procedure for him to get through an average of 15/20 pills over the course of a weekend, however these pills were obviously far stronger than his usual batch.
Shortly, his face turned red and his eyes looked like they were about to pop out of the sockets. I have never seen anybody look so fucked in my entire life. The gurning was extreme. He kept mumbling incoherently with his eyes now rolling around in all directions. Once fully under the powers of the pills, he attempted to go to the toilet, at which point he fell into a table, knocking several pints to floor. After being helped back to his feet he zig-zagged across the pub, en route for the exit and fell asleep in the doorway. I then put him in a taxi and sent him home. Man, I sure am a little concerned about him.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Basically, Mart, if you refuse to let MiniGree wear a coat, your wife will go get a job at the mill.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I had an hormonal meltdown of spectacular proportions yesterday. Lots of shouting and screaming involved. At one point, I was violently kicking a cardboard box whilst shrieking "GODI'MSOFUCKINGANGRY!" at the top of my voice. In fact, my kicking was so energetic that it caused me to fall flat on my arse. I then spent a good five minutes scrabbling to haul myself into an upright position. This caused J to smile to himself and ask "Do you think you ought to seek professional help?" Man alive, I daren't tell you how I responded to that particular quip. Needless to say, I feel quite guilty today and am thanking my lucky stars that both of the children were out of the house at the time.
Hormones, eh?
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam:
quote:Originally posted by mart: .....the worst film ever made.....
I don't know, films at the moment seem particularly bad. I am still reeling from supposing that Babel might be the best of a poor lot and still hating almost every moment of it. I know the King of Scotland is meant to be so so, but Uganda? For a fun afternoon out?
I know what you mean about Last King of Scotland. Hot Fuzz or The Science of Sleep are both worth a punt for a fun afternoon out. Climates is beautiful and brilliant, but a bit bleak.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Can we do something to cheer Louche up? She's making me go all weepy eyed.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i am prepared to throw in 33 pence towards some goddess healing from koko? i only say this because louche might be ticklish.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
She needs a Man Love Prositute. Very rare.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
britney spears has shaved her hair off! because shes tired of people touching it. i cant find pictures at the moment, im re- googling.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
the hair on her head. that is. we all know about the other hair.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
quote:Originally posted by not...: She needs a Man Love Prositute. Very rare.
well koko does work with a male goddess healer called jack. i have to say i didnt really have any truck with the idea of him fuffing about with any of my chakras. he was wearing a brown jumper and looked very peaky.
Posted by SilverGinger5 (Member # 49) on :
Look! Hugs will help Louche's heart. Everyone in the Greater Manchester area run to her office and give her a big hug!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by SilverGinger5: Everyone in the Greater Manchester area run to her office and give her a big hug!
L@@K Louche! Your favourite boy-toy is wishing you hugs in your region. That's got to help.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita:
quote:Originally posted by not...: She needs a Man Love Prositute. Very rare.
well koko does work with a male goddess healer called jack. i have to say i didnt really have any truck with the idea of him fuffing about with any of my chakras. he was wearing a brown jumper and looked very peaky.
Maybe zygote's aging hippy friend when - if - he recovers could go and do something tantric. He clearly wouldn't actually arouse Louche but the gurning might raise a laugh.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Put your coat on, Louche. Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Or take it off, or something.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
Oh dear mart. What a terrible thing to say.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I forgot about the comments on this, Zygote.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
If someone hugged me now I'd probably just cry on them. I'm definitely not very good at the not being in tears thing today. Perhaps I had better opt for the tantric tickling. Probably save a few damp Manchester shoulders.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I forgot about the comments on this, Zygote.
Yes! Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
Come and moan on my moaning thread? I look like a prick just doing it by myself.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Perhaps I had better opt for the tantric tickling.
I was going to suggest the kicking of boxes and yelling for both you and Abby, but even better than that, if I dress up in a cardboard robot suit, could you both kick me to a pulp whilst screaming at me? It's my fantasy death.
[ 19.02.2007, 11:10: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
B-but I don't want to kick you to death Mikee. It'd just be another bloody thing to feel bad/ guilty about and I'm not sure I could handle that right now.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
would a bracing shoulder-shake be any good to you, louche? seeing as you're not about the hugs today, that is.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I'll probably have given myself a strong shoulder shake by tomorrow, so fret not TMO, I won't spend the rest of the week Moaning Myrtling around the board marking my weeping episodes with pitable posts.
[ 19.02.2007, 11:51: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
*This is sure to bring you cheer.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
it's amazing. after poor anna nicole died, i was all lost, but now britney's stepped up to fill the huge hole in my soul.
I have no words of consolation or support for Louche (I'm not in the best frame of mind really) however I can say that hammering out Chemical Brothers tracks at as great a volume as you can physically stand does a reasonable enough job of drowning out the sound of your inner monologue that you can pretend that everything's ok for a little while.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Louche - watch Errol Morris's documentary Mr Deathon More4 tonight and console yourself that you aren't a crazy Holocaust denier.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Sometimes resilience doesn't hack it, I know, but I do believe that the amount of misery a person can feel is inversely proportional to the amount of joy they are capable of feeling. It may not seem much at the moment, but put this into the bank to cash in one day because it will mean there's going to be a time when things improve and you'll be capable of dancing on clouds.
Just a clumsy way of saying I hope you feel a tad better today louche.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by sam: the amount of misery a person can feel is inversely proportional to the amount of joy they are capable of feeling.
That would be awful - that would mean the deeper the misery you felt, the less likely you would be able experience even the most modest sense of well-being.
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak:
quote:Originally posted by sam: the amount of misery a person can feel is inversely proportional to the amount of joy they are capable of feeling.
That would be awful - that would mean the deeper the misery you felt, the less likely you would be able experience even the most modest sense of well-being.
I am, of course, grateful to you for correcting me and I shall go and stand in the corner.
But in my heart I won't be grateful. I shall think rebelllious thoughts. So sucks to you!
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I had a rather excellent journey fraught with emotional pain last night. The task: One man must collect a 42U, 19" server rack case and transport it a few miles to his house from work. The goal: to build the best musical send/return console the average man has ever seen.
So I booked a van for my mate to drive. Of course, my driver was under 25 so I had to book a van from a hire firm in Edmonton, North London. It took us an hour to walk the road to the industrial estate and because Darren was nervous as hell because he hasn't been behind the wheel for two years, we were driving about 20mph on the dual carriageway and stalling at every light we got to. The exciting part was using the cigarette lighter as he pumped the pedal like a cyclist, so that I dangerous swung it near my face, avoiding creating a series of circular brands on my cheek.
When I get to work, the 24 hour staff are on and I hand a monitor to Darren and he walks out of the building and leaves one of the doors of the airlock open, trapping everyone in the building. After the security guard grumbles about having to snap the piece of plastic on the alarm, we haul this seemingly inplausible, ten million ton fucking server into the van. That part is easy. When arriving at my house, we are simply mortified of trying to get the thing up into a 1st floor flat. It takes us half an hour to go about 12 steps.
The fucking thing is now wedged at the top of the stairs of the flat and to get into the flat you have to open the cage doors on the server and crawl through a hole in the side to get to the kitchen. I'd take a picture. But I can't.
I got to sleep finally after dropping off the van back in Edmonton and a night bus back to Fulham. I got to sleep at 4am and my alarm went off at seven. I'm gonna be off to work in a bit, with bollockise.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
fellas grab your big ol' dicks, ladies rub your wet-ass clits, put 'em together 'cause thas the shit, yup, this is another rap hit.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
*backflips*
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
yeah. That's by plastic little.
Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
This weekend we bought a new house. It's bloody huge and very grown up and I hyperventilated when I saw what the actual mortgage repayments are every month. But, it's beautiful. And it's in "the country" and stuff. So, happy me eh?
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
Congrats Saltrock! In my own helpful fashion, here are some handy links you may find useful:
quote:Originally posted by saltrock: This weekend we bought a new house. It's bloody huge and very grown up and I hyperventilated when I saw what the actual mortgage repayments are every month. But, it's beautiful. And it's in "the country" and stuff. So, happy me eh?
As long as you're not so far into the counry that you can't live up to your promise of coming up to London for a meet some time, you still owe me a game of badminton Posted by saltrock (Member # 622) on :
Thanks Froops. Fortunately it's brand new. Even more fortunately, the fella is a project manager for a building company and very handy.
Physic, I've not forgotten. I need to play you so that you owe me lots of beer. And I could do with a day out amongst buildings.
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Razz]](tongue.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)