What other STUFF has become essential to your life?
[ 14.03.2007, 05:35: Message edited by: Black Mask ]
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Maybe we should have a little rule that no posts can contain the words "phone" or "iPod".
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Or, "ralph".
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
I find life more joyless without a decent stereo than almost any other device of the modern age. I get kind of irritable and sad if I can't listen to my records for more than about a week. A couple of years ago my speakers blew at a party and I was reduced to using a crappy set of PC speakers plugged into the DVD player and it made me annoyed every time I put a CD on. So. Stereo equipment is the thing that leaps to mind when putting together a 21st century survival kit. It doesn't do anything practical exactly, except keep one sane and bring meaning and joy to life.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: I find life more joyless without a decent stereo than almost any other device of the modern age. I get kind of irritable and sad if I can't listen to my records for more than about a week. A couple of years ago my speakers blew at a party and I was reduced to using a crappy set of PC speakers plugged into the DVD player and it made me annoyed every time I put a CD on. So. Stereo equipment is the thing that leaps to mind when putting together a 21st century survival kit. It doesn't do anything practical exactly, except keep one sane and bring meaning and joy to life.
Hmmm... I entirely concur. But music, or access to quality music, played loud, I would consider a timeless essential. I was thinking more of things you can't do without, not necessarily new inventions, that you didn't need a few years ago, say. Or things you use today that you would never have visualised yourself needing. Surprises. After all that is the thread title.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
For instance, looking around my desk, I see a small pot of Boots fragrance free moisturising cream. I get dry skin sometimes and use a little dab of that daily. It helps with the radiation burn from the monitor. Now, five years ago I would've chuckled heartily and asked you if you were some sort of deluded queer if you'd accused me of using moisturiser. And, yet, here we are...
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Yeah, I'm with the music one too. Being more 21st century specific, I'd want to keep my DAB radio because it has a bigger selection of stations which I enjoy listening to, so I'd never be bored, and that would provide news and culture and comedy and sport as well the all important music.
Although I have a major self-confessed web habit, I do think I could live without it quite easily if forced by circumstance - same as the telly. I hardly use my mobile-*censored* at all, and I don't even own an i-*censored* at the moment (situation due to be rectified shortly).
The only other thing I couldn't live without is my bike, and that's 19th century technology so I guess it doesn't count in this survey.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Maybe a decent digital camera. I'd find it very hard now to go back to the pre-2000 days when taking photos meant going to Boots, buying a film, then rationing out 24 exposures - twenty-four! - or as a luxury, 36, across your holiday. I felt I was getting "professional" safety coverage if I took 3 pictures of the same subject. I'd spend far longer framing shots. And then the ritual of taking them in to be processed, waiting a week (a week!) and receiving one set of prints, for the best part of a fiver.
I'm sure there were pleasures in and advantages to that method - the care of selecting what you'd record, instead of rashly snapping off ten redeyed sweaty shots of your mates in a bar and sending them straight from your fone to flickr - and the anticipation of going in to collect them, reliving your holiday ten days after you returned. There was something to be said about waiting for your "memories", as they used to call them, rather than seeing them instantly.
But now, on holidays in particular, I feel a digital camera becomes my diary, and I usually return with at least 100 genuinely OK to decent pictures - which I then enjoy looking back on. Sometimes, as my 21st century thirtysomething friends and I wryly agree, it feels as though it hasn't happened until it's on flickr. Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: asked you if you were some sort of deluded queer
I realised last night I think of BM as Gene Hunt off Life on Mars, so it's good to have that confirmed.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Gene Hunt with moisturiser, though.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
As a loosely-related companion piece to this thread, I quite liked some of the suggestions for ways Britain has changed in this BBC item about a couple returning to the UK after ten years in Australia.
Edit: Actually, I just read it again and it doesn't seem to be as witty as it was last week. I must've been in a good mood when I first read it.
[ 14.03.2007, 05:49: Message edited by: dang65 ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Or, "ralph".
lol.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I was thinking more of things you can't do without, not necessarily new inventions, that you didn't need a few years ago, say. Or things you use today that you would never have visualised yourself needing. Surprises. After all that is the thread title.
Decent. Cooking. Equipment. and a decent workspace.
I've always loved cooking, but recently I've realised that it is a punishing task without the right environment. A bad workmen always blames his tools? Piss off. I cooked roast dinner for 7 at my girlfriends flat and because they are all students, they seem to have an abundance of Jamie Fucking Oliver non-stick pans. Annoying branding, yes, but the quality speaks for itself. The ease of cooking when you have a draw full of about 30 knives, a workspace larger than two and a half foot and the chance not to burn yourself on the hob as you prepare different parts of the meal.
During the great move of 2005 to London, I ditched all of my worldly posessions to free up my ability to move from place to place as necessary. Now that I think about it, I haven't had decent cooking equipment for years. In my current flat, I rely solely on the equipment of my housemates. The pans leave flecks of black coating in your food. The wok is tinged brown with rust as it is never greased before being placed back on the hook. The copper pans make everything taste metallic. I am in Cook Hell. I fantasise, fucking FANTASISE about the day I can walk around Ikea buying bloody pepper pots and pan lids and fricking matching plates. I dream of splashing out on a set of knives so that I can take a flexible fillet blade to a piece of fish. You are now my bitch, loaf of bread. See how I cut you neatly into manageable slices.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Yes, thank god for that 21st century invention: cooking equipment. I can't believe not ten years ago people were basically throwing raw ingredients onto fires and scooping up the sludge for dinner.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Poor Mongo Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
Also, I can't imagine walking everywhere now I've got Heelys.
[ 14.03.2007, 08:32: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
But benway surely what you're saying is that you need the bag but none of the stuff you actually use the bag to transport? Doesn't that defeat the point of having the bag in the first place? Or is that kind of the point you're making?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: But benway surely what you're saying is that you need the bag but none of the stuff you actually use the bag to transport? Doesn't that defeat the point of having the bag in the first place? Or is that kind of the point you're making?
What I'm saying, jerkwad, is that I now have so many little electronic things to carry around with me that I need a manbag.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I don't understand what I've done wrong.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Moisturizer? Manbags? Has the whole world gone gay, or is it just the UK?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
[ 14.03.2007, 08:31: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Nice. I've been looking for a skinning tool that wouldn't leave any unsightly marks on the hide.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Ralph, in order to keep up with the times, adopts a lifestyle of gayness by filling his manbag with moisturiser and taking a pleasant stroll.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:
The Jarvis Model SR-1 vacuum system for spinal cord removal on beef or hogs.
•Increases shelf life. •Fast - one operator can handle 800 hog or 350 beef carcasses per hour. •Lightweight handpiece for optimum operator comfort. •High vacuum ensures that operator traces spinal cavity only once to remove the cord. •All stainless steel construction for maximum hygiene. •Hardened nozzle tip for better scraping action.
I should say that this website was brought to you courtesy of idiot toys Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Ralph, in order to keep up with the times, adopts a lifestyle of gayness by filling his manbag with moisturiser and taking a pleasant stroll.
lol. I already own a pair of gloves like that. Someday I hope to be a hobo, riding the rails where they lead. Seems to me to be an almost perfect lifestyle, minus the gay part.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
There's some excellent quotes there:
quote:Eliminates placing corks in heads - avoiding any brain seepage.
quote:This can take the head off a cow and, by extension, a human prostitute.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote: What's the appeal of Hobo Life?
So what appeal to this kind of life is there really? To the neophyte, imagine a way of life where you are not bound by time schedules, home owner bill, job expectations, the IRS, you can live where you want, sleep where you want, travel wherever you want as long as its' in the continental US and Canada. Never pay a travel fare unless you want to, never pay rent, electric, gas, water, or cable bills, never pay taxes, and see places in the US and Canada others only see in the movies, or in a magazine. Sound like the lifestyle of Bill Gates, or Donald Trump?, well hundreds of folks live that kind of life every day, in fact that kind of life/culture has been going on since just after Americas' Civil War. A lifestyle/culture so sweet, so addictive, so seductive, so intoxicating, that those of us who retire after 20, 30, even 40 years of are never really free of it. Because Lady Freedom has gotten too far in our blood to gotten rid of her completely. Freedom, complete freedom, and the ability to pursue that ultimate free life, and the vehicle to propel you on such a quest, and a constitutionally based right to free movement. It's truly a drug, a greasy steely drug that once it gets in your blood it's there for good, and no matter how you've retired, no matter how much you deny it, you'll never be free of it. Whenever you hear a train whistle, whenever you see a moving train, or just train cars, or even train tracks, that longing in your heart will tug at you so tight you'll realize that you're addicted for life!
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
..nobody raggin' on you if you fancy a nip to keep the cold out. I bet you're thinkin of the drinkin we could do if you could get rid of the burden, eh old friend? Hoo-ee! Those sure would be good times, eh ralph? Remember the times we had together, you an me, huh buddy? You an me, and not a care in the world! Hell, there was no world when we partied, ain't that right pal? Shoot...Aw...I mean, Hell Ralph! Why don't you come see me no more? Huh? Those squares don't like it when we party together? Huh? You ain't your own man now, is that it? Just a little visit once in a while couldn't hurt, right? Come on...Come on buddy. Come and see your uncle Jack one of these days. I'll have something good, cookin on the stove! We can go on a ro-ad trip together, jus you and me, and the sunset on our backs, corn in our mouths, ridin out into the great unknown on an iron horse. We could write some poetry together, go down to a reserve. I got loads of buddies down the reserve! Hell, it's a non stop party down there! Come on buddy... just...pop my lid would ya...? Can't rightly breathe all couped up like this...
[ 14.03.2007, 09:00: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
See you in Britt, Iowa, in August, Benway?
quote: National Hobo Convention August 9-12, 2007
Hobo Jungle open to public throughout Convention Hobos visit and entertain at local nursing homes throughout Thursday
Thursday, August 9 8 am-11 am Hobo Bake Sale- Mary Jo’s Hobo House 9:00 pm Hobo Museum & Gift Shop open daily throughout convention 6:30 pm Queens Drive at the Hobo Jungle 7:00 pm Official Lighting of the Jungle Fire at Hobo Jungle / Entertainment begins
Friday, August 10 9:00 am Flea Market Opens 9:00 am Hobo Museum & Gift Shop Open 9:00 am Hobo Memorial Service at Evergreen Cemetery 11 am-6 pm Hobo Art Gallery by LeAnn Castillo – Municipal Building 1 pm-10 pm Giant Inflatable Rides & Food Concessions on Main Street 2:00 pm Ladies Tea at St Patrick’s Catholic Church Parish Hall 4:00 pm Poetry Reading at Hobo Jungle 5pm-6:30pm Alumni Banquet - Social Hour – West Hancock High School 6:30 pm Alumni Banquet – West Hancock High School 7:00 pm Hobo Jungle Entertainment - Hobo Jungle
Saturday, August 11 All Day Flea Market on Main Street 7:00 am Walk/Run - Lions park 9:00 am Hobo Museum & Gift Shop open 10:00 am Giant Parade 11 am-10 pm Giant Inflatables and Concessions on Main Street 11 am-6 pm Hobo Art Gallery by LeAnn Castillo – Municipal Building 11 am-4 pm Armstrong House open 12:00 pm Free Mulligan Stew in City Park 1:00 pm Hobo King and Queen Coronation in City Park followed by the Hobo Auction in the Park Gazebo 3:00 pm Queens Drive 2:30-5 pm Leann Castillo Hobo Art Gallery – Municipal Bldg 4:00 pm Bed Races by Dixie’s Chics 5:00 pm Polka Mass - St Patricks Catholic Church 7:00 pm Hobo Entertainment at Hobo Jungle 9 am-12 pm DANCE
Sunday, August 12 8 am-4 pm Classic Car Show on Main Street 8 am-4 pm Craft Show in the Park w/” Malek’s Fishermen” (bring your lawn chairs) 9:00 am Hobo Museum & Gift Shop open 9 am-1 pm Cheerleader Omelet Breakfast at Municipal Building 1:30-4 pm Pie & Ice Crème Social in the Park – Historical Society 2:00 pm Garden Tractor Pull / Britt Betterment Club
[ 14.03.2007, 09:01: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote: National Hobo Convention August 9-12, 2007
9 am-1 pm Cheerleader Omelet Breakfast
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I can't stand fucking hobos. That one in the picture above is clearly an unsavoury character. His seedy little eyes are a dead giveaway.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
you should do something about them, zygote. Clean up the city.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I can't stand fucking hobos.
Well don't do it, then.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I'll remember to stay away from you then Zygote. But once I manage to rise through the ranks of hobodom and become Hobo King, you had best watch your back.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: What other STUFF has become essential to your life?
My laptop. Without it I would have to spend my days paying 50p per hour in the local library, hitting "F5" all day long (the software package I use isn't 'streamed' via the pcs in the library - or any other slow pcs for that matter). I guard my laptop with my life. We have a unique relationship.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche:
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I can't stand fucking hobos.
Well don't do it, then.
Grrr.. Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Do I make you angry, Zygote? Do I?
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Hobos visit and entertain at local nursing homes throughout Thursday
Poetry Reading at Hobo Jungle
I'm loving the thought of Hobos entertaining old people and reading poety. Aaw, nice Hobos.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
No, you don't make me angry, Louche. You know I love you don't you?
*tickles Louche's chin* Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Grrrr Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Please keep your junior high flirtations off my hobo thread. You're bringing me down from my hobo high. Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I can't stand fucking hobos.
Hobophobe! Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I don't understand what I've done wrong.
Well according to what BM is saying, it should be specifically modern stuff you can't live without. For reference, see his reply earlier regarding music. But, like, pots and pans dude, people have had them for as long as they've had music.
Also, it's supposed to be things you can't live without and by your own admission you've been living without them for nearly two years and still not been suitably bothered to do anything about it...
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I fantasise, fucking FANTASISE about the day I can walk around Ikea buying bloody pepper pots
Thank God for that - I thought I was some kind of anorak.
I've wanted a pepper mill for ages - actually wanted one rather than it just occuring to me once, so I could get proper pepper, like the water in an Italian restaurant grinds over your dinner, not that rubbish dust you can buy from the supermarket.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts:
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: But benway surely what you're saying is that you need the bag but none of the stuff you actually use the bag to transport? Doesn't that defeat the point of having the bag in the first place? Or is that kind of the point you're making?
What I'm saying, jerkwad, is that I now have so many little electronic things to carry around with me that I need a manbag.
Yeah, right, but, unless all those little electronic thingsyou carry around are also essentials without which you cannot life a normal life, then the manbag itself is reduntant since its only purpose would be to carry electronic devices which you don't actually need.
You see what I mean m8 I'm not trying to be a dick I just don't think you're thinking laterally enough here, y'know?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I think what NWOD was saying was that he wanted new-fangled kitchen-based culinary technology rather than the types of pots and pans that have been around for aeons. He wants non-stick, teflon coated, aga-friendly, hob and microwave and dishwasher safe pots. The pots he wants are not just pots, they're crafted by outer mongolian iron mongery pots. They're posh pots. They're celebrity chef endorsed pots. They're the mother and fucking daddy of the pot world. They are Pots Of Greatness. Not, like any old pots.
I have an electric pepper mill. Sometimes I make it grind for nothing, because just watching it do that makes my nipples tingle.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Ok so what part of that constitutes Things Which Are Essential For Your Life?
I dont' see how you can say you can't live without something which you don't have, and haven't had for 2 years. You'd be dead, or insane, right?
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I have an electric pepper mill. Sometimes I make it grind for nothing, because just watching it do that makes my nipples tingle.
So I should get one then?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I have an electric pepper mill. Sometimes I make it grind for nothing, because just watching it do that makes my nipples tingle.
Lol.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I was thinking more of things you can't do without, not necessarily new inventions, that you didn't need a few years ago, say. Or things you use today that you would never have visualised yourself needing. Surprises. After all that is the thread title.
Ringo, I said "not necessarily new inventions", you bumbaclaht. Do you see?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
Well, whether they are essential or not is irrelevant to the fact that I carry them around, and therefore need a bag to put them in. In fact, their continual presence regardless of any real decisions re: their measurable usefuless is in itself indicative of '21st century living' - it's not do I need these things, but rather I need something to carry all these things in.
[ 14.03.2007, 10:10: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I'll let Benway off, as he at least owns the things he consideres life essentials. NWoD on the other hand has some explaining to do.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I have the entire Koran tattooed on my penis, I couldn't imagine life without that.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: I have the entire Koran tattooed on my penis, I couldn't imagine life without that.
It's amazing what they can do with nanotechnology these days...
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I'm getting a bit bored. Someone start a thread!
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Live would be really unbearable without my own personal jet.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Also, it's supposed to be things you can't live without and by your own admission you've been living without them for nearly two years and still not been suitably bothered to do anything about it...
Ok, then allow me to explain it to you in detail so that you can understand. I do not own these items and I yearn for them. I yearn for them as often as I cook at home. That's practically every day. I yearn them as much as I yearn a large kitchen filled with modern day gadgetry. I own a dishwasher, for instance, which takes the sting off having to worry about any repercussions of serious grub - The charred black rim of any kind of baked food is a good example. But! I can't plug it in! These things, these things that I crave are something I have experience of over a large period of my life and I miss them. Here's the clincher: I feel like they are a necessity to my well-being. So I've covered the most important things. a) not necessarily modern technology b) surprising c) essential (to my well-being)
I can understand this might be a mystery to you, but can't you realise that over the course of ten years I feel this is something I have to have. The last thing item I bought (a ladle) got melted by one of my other housemates, so I can't trust an expensive saucepan to stay intact. If you have all that fancy gadgetry and only make beans on toast with it, then fine but stop trying to harsh my domestic boner!
[ 14.03.2007, 10:42: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Oh right, yeah, I get you now. I know the kind of thing you mean. I once yearned for 2 years, waking up in cold sweats in the middle of the night panicking about how my life will never be complete without this one thing. This one thing which doesn't cost a lot of money, which I could easily purchase with just a couple of months of saving at the very most. Yeah, I know what it's like to yearn endlessly for something, yet not just go out and buy it. That makes perfect sense.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Oh right, yeah, I get you now. I know the kind of thing you mean. I once yearned for 2 years, waking up in cold sweats in the middle of the night panicking about how my life will never be complete without this one thing. This one thing which doesn't cost a lot of money, which I could easily purchase with just a couple of months of saving at the very most. Yeah, I know what it's like to yearn endlessly for something, yet not just go out and buy it. That makes perfect sense.
What was it?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Furry dice for my car
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: This one thing which doesn't cost a lot of money.
Pfft. Shows what you know. Wanting hardcore cooking equipment is never 'just one thing', and it's also massively expensive. I suppose it doesn't really register, if your mum has done all your cooking, every single day of your entire life, but a good set of cooking kit is more than just a case of buying a frying pan for £3 from Morrisons. I mean, even if you're at a point when you can justify spending £50 on a Global chopping knife that's just one knife. You've still got quite a long way to go before your desire is sated, and it's a long, long way from being cheap as a hobby.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
My Jamie Oliver hob and oven safe stewpot cost £89.99. I only know that because I just googled it. I probably shouldn't have looked it up; it ewas a present. I feel a bit guilty for doing that now.
It's a lovely pot, though.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I feel a bit sorry for Ringo. To think a set of furry dice is easily obtainable as something as rewarding as having your own kitchen, to prepare, cook and serve food in just highlights his failure to grasp how suffocating an unhappy environment can be. What can you not grasp Ringo? What part is it you cannot comprehend? The thing I describe is a material object that makes no sense to own right now but on a superficial level would provide me with some inner joy. What shall I do with my dishwasher? I was brought up in a house with one and hate living in a place without one. I own one but can't plumb it in. Should I smash up the landlords kitchen tops to fit it in? Is that the sort of mindless destruction you anticipate to prove something is essential? jesus fucking christ. Do I punch someone in the face for burning the bottom of my Anthony Warrel Thompson milk pan? Do I fillet the eyelids from someone for melting the handle? Or (crazy suggestion) do you just not buy something until a time when it would be more suitable and crave that one thing instead?
[ 14.03.2007, 11:00: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
herbs gave me a box of rusted / broken kitchen utensils as a gift when I moved out of her spare room. In that box was one knife that could still be used. Had a blade of about four inches. That's the only knife I've used in cooking for the last three years. If she ever finds out what a quality knife it is, she'll be gutted that she threw it out.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
since then we got a nicer dicer, but that's 'no dice' in a cramped bedroom situation like mine.
Man, what will I do when I can't bitch about vermin and bedsits? I'll have to have some kind of accident so I've got some difficulties to overcome.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lickapaw#2: So I should get one then?
No-one's nipples are precisely the same (as proved by the nipple sizing fest) so I feel unable at this stage to guarantee that an electric pepper mill would bring you the amount of pleasure it brings me.
I also feel that if you haven't already got a pepper mill, you're aiming too high in the pepper mill stakes for a first purchase. Going from no pepper mill to an electric pepper mill is a bit like deciding to leave the whole 'having first ever sex with a boy' thing and going right into an orgy of four, mixed gender people and maybe a horse.
See, you should start with something like this, preferably stolen in stooodent fashion from your local greasy spoon:
Note, this is a shaker, not a mill, so you are starting quite small.
Move up to something like this:
This is perhaps the sort of shaker you would think of buying if you'd just moved into your first flat, and felt like expressing your independence and new found maturity through the purchase of culinary equipment. Many people do this, it is nothing to be ashamed about.
Next, you might move on to something a little more modern, a bit edgy. You have friends fround for food these days. You want to look good. Those old shakers are just not cutting the mustard. Or, to the point, shaking the flakes in a trendy enough way. So you get these:
And then somewhere along the line, because you're in your own home and indpedendent and shizz, and because people know you have friends round for food and you're you, and you're a little bit quirky, you get these:
or
Because some people can be wankers.
Then, as you get into the swing of this making food lark, and as yet get experimental and you collect more recipe books and you keep reading the words 'freshly ground pepper', you start to get a need for a grinder. You've got a shaker. Your pepper is substandard. It might be pepper, but it's not freshly ground pepper. It's just pepper. Jamie Oliver would mock your pepper. You feel ashamed. So you get your first mill.
Something like this:
Classic. Nice. And oh, isn't freshly ground pepper so much nicer! Oh, oh, yes it is. You're transported into a new world of delight. You don't think things could get any better.
Then.
Then.
Then.
You get the electric pepper grinder. This is what makes your nipples tingle.
I wish you luck on your journey.
[ 14.03.2007, 11:15: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
That's the most effort I've put into a post in two years and it's about fucking pepper mills. It really is all over for me, isn't it?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I don't know, Louche. An electric pepper grinder is a bit... commmon? Like a teasmade.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
lol(1000000 Scovilles)@Louche
[ 14.03.2007, 11:18: Message edited by: Black Mask ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Optimistic/funny Louche is alright, isn't she?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Lol. Splendid stuff.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
yeah Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
The only truly acceptable salt/pepper dispensing solution is the jar they came in. They often come with a grinder built on.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
So, just to clarify, are we talking about things which have become essential parts of our lives, or just things we really want? Which is it? It's one or the other. Becauseif you really want it, you don't have it, and if you don't have it, it really can't be considered an essential part of your life. Unless of course you're just in a kind of temporary state whereby you have just been forced to give that thing up, and the absence of it is so unbearable that you will have to do whatever you can to get it again, right?
I don't think having a dream of one day owning your own set of wanky cookwear really counts as things you can't live without. More "things I've never actually had but would like one day to own".
I mean, I really really honestly and genuinely want to have a new HDTV. But you couldn't say I can't live without it. I mean, you could say I couldn't live without any TV, but in order to watch TV I don't specifically need a 50+ inch 1080 Sony Bravia or whatnot. In the same way, you can actually physically cook food, even reasonably nice food, in fairly rudimentary cookware.
A longing for desirable posh replacements for things you already have, again, does not constitute an unacceptable absence in your life.
Let meput it another way: my computer, if it blew up tonight, would have to be replaced as quickly as humanly possible. This is because the majority of my life seems to be conducted through the internet. Now, y'see, I've got quite a nice computer, but if it came to it, I could live with a crappy computer, so long as it fulfilled its purpose of allowing me to access free pornography and harrass people on internet forums. I would like an all singing, all dancing games machine, bought on a budget I will probably never afford. But I don't need one.
Surely that's the whole point of the thread?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Shakers are for idiots.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You really didn't need to go to any great length to prove you haven't a clue, Ringo. I'll make it really simple.
This is me without the thing I mention above:
This is me when I am in a position to get them:
You see, this is the troublesome part. If my computer (the rather boring, obvious submission to the thread I was trying to avoid) blew up today, I would also have an intense desire to replace it immediately. I can't though. So that's me kind of fucked really. I'm starting to get pensive as one of the partitions keeps failing. Also, just to reiterate how important it is to me. If the hard-drive on Felix's pc blew up tomorrow. I would lose about six years worth of musical material. But I don't own his hard-drive, so obviously it isn't really very important to me, by your blinkered thinking.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I'm not saying you wouldn't be a lot happier with swanky cookware. I'm saying you can live without it. Your life, no matter what kind of spin you put on it, is not made a living hell by the absence of this thing. If it were, what you would do, right, is you would go out of your way to get this thing. If it were as important to you as being an essential everyday part of your life that you can't live without then you would do what you could to get it, right?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: The only truly acceptable salt/pepper dispensing solution is the jar they came in. They often come with a grinder built on.
This is wrong. There are many acceptable forms of pepper mill or grinder. For example, the giant wooden pepper grinder utilised in pizzerias to add extra pepper to your pizza is an acceptable pepper grinder. In the above scenario, a jar of black pepper with an attached grinder would be unacceptable. It would also be a waste of resource, as it would empty faster than the traditional large wooden pepper grinder, and cause staff to spend less time with customers as they were spending more time refilling their pepper grinders.
Bow to my superior pepper based knowledge.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Why would they have to refill their grinders if the pepper were supplied already in a grinder?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: an essential everyday part of your life that you can't live without then you would do what you could to get it, right?
Yes. If I found that going to the Library was essential, I wouldn't feel it necessary to run into it and fiercly read books if it was on fire. Oh hang on, I'm not trying my best to buy my own library. Duh. Duh. Duh. I must hate book.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
What the shitting hell are you going on about now, you madman?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Why would they have to refill their grinders if the pepper were supplied already in a grinder?
Because it would be an unconscionable waste to buy more pots with grinders attached when you already had a grinder.
See, the options are:
1)perpetually refilling grinder 2)perpetually buying then discarding pots with grinders attached.
Both of these options create a more waste than having a giant wooden grinder, which can be re-used, and which runs out of freshly ground pepper much less frequently.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: If it were as important to you as being an essential everyday part of your life that you can't live without then you would do what you could to get it, right?
Black Mask - the topic starter - chose moisturiser as his 'survival' item. I'm fairly sure that if he couldn't get hold of any, he'd probably not be plunged into a living hell of insanity and starvation; similarly without a stereo I'd be unhappy but I'd survive. But, like everyone else who's posted on this thread it's something that makes you uncomfortable or unhappy if you have to go without it. You might survive, but it's something that is, in a small way, maybe, essential to you complete happiness.
So I don't think NWoD's suggestion has particularly stretched the logic of the thread. It makes sense. He seems to feel much the same way I would if my stereo packed up. Surviving, obviously, but constantly aware of something missing.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
WHY DO RINGO BE BAD TO FRED? HIM MAKE BOBO SAD!
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
No but this is what I'm talking about. Obviously you could survive without a stereo, but that life would be frankly bollocks because you love music, right? But if your stereo packed up and you didn't have money for a really fancy replacement, what you'd do is buy a cheaper alternative. That's the point right there. It's not specifically your stereo that you miss, it's what it can do: play music. So really what you can't live without is access to music. You can use this comparisson with lots of things, including computers, frying pans, whatever. With cookware what you really are talking about is missing being able to cook nice food. But cooking nice food is not impossible with cheap pans, it just generates a bit more washing up. And if there really were such a hole in your life left by the absence of something, and if for some reason you weren't able to get that thing replaced right away, you'd still do what was necessary to replace it as soon as was possible, even if that meant saving up money, maybe going without other stuff, whatever. That's totally what marks the difference, in my eyes, between something you feel is an absolutely essential part of your daily life, and something which is just nice to have. I'm not suggesting that having the best stuff doesn't make you happier, simply that it's not a part of your daily life. Especially if you've been doing without that thing for two years and haven't felt suitably motivated to do anything about getting it.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I don't run an italian restaurant, so I don't really need a gigantic pepper grinder. The jars of pepper that you buy with the grinder on top are refillable though, so you can buy one, use it up, and then add more pepper to it. You could say that you don't get as much pepper in it so you'd have to keep filling it up, but then, I'm not big into pepper. I mean, I'll use it - in fact, I did last night making some mash - but I don't use much. If I was using more pepper then maybe I'd buy something bigger. I can't believe that unless you're living in a pepper mad family, you're going to be too put out by the refilling needs of one of those jars that you buy the pepper in with a grinder on top. Buying something to put your pepper in and grind it when it already comes in something that grinds is assigning lifestyle properties to something that does not require them.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I think I understand. If the local power grid collapsed for a week and you couldn't use the internet, you would petrify and your dust would be scattered into the winds. Is it like that Ringo? If it's not, then maybe we could discuss another situation I can relate to. Like, a solution to my non working dishwasher. I suppose I could put it in my bedroom and run a 30ft water pipe to it from the kitchen. That seems like a logical solution rather than remaining frustrated, yet optimistic about dirty-dish-woe.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
What are you saying? that you physically can't fit a set of pans into your flat somewhere? Jesus, I knew London properties were a bit of a pisstake but I didn't realise it was that bad.
Hey, I've just had an awesome idea. Why not buy the pans you want, then keep them in your nonfunctioning dishwasher? I mean, since the absence of these pans is making your life so unbearably shit, that's a good idea, yes?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
hey. Hey. Let's leave London out of this for once. No reason to be bringing London into this one, Ringo. Man you like having a go at London. It's almost like. Like you're a closet Londoner.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Ok ok, we're getting nowhere with this. Let's make it simple for you. Complete the following text with your own words:
My name is Micky Tivvy. My life is unbearable, a living hell whereby my lack of pans causes me great sadness and depression. Despite this, in the two years I have been without such cookware, I have made no effort to purchase any. This is because.... continue
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: I don't run an italian restaurant, so I don't really need a gigantic pepper grinder.
I was merely correcting your assertion that the jars with the grinders were the only acceptable means of grinding pepper. Had you qualified in your original post that you felt that the grinder jars were the only acceptable means of grinding pepper when that grinding of the pepper is being done for personal use only, I would not, of course, merrily continued on to talk about the use of larger pepper grinders in catering environments.
I still feel your statement about the jar grinder being the only acceptable grinder is contestable. From my personal experience, I have to say that I found the jar grinder scenario to be inadequate for my cooking needs. My mother, who has spack hands, also finds the jar grinder to be unacceptable, as pressing a button to grind the pepper electrically enables her to access freshly ground pepper without causing herself actual physical pain.
So, again, I prove you wrong! Ha!
[ 14.03.2007, 12:13: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: What shall I do with my dishwasher? I was brought up in a house with one and hate living in a place without one. I own one but can't plumb it in. Should I smash up the landlords kitchen tops to fit it in?
To fit our dishwasher in our rented flat, we took a kitchen unit out and put it in the garage, where it is propably getting all mouldy, but we'll worry about that when we move out. Unfortunately the bloody thing stopped working and I'm too skint to get it fixed at the moment, so I'm having to do without it, which is pretty stressful.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: My name is Micky Tivvy. My life is unbearable, a living hell whereby my lack of pans causes me great sadness and depression. Despite this, in the two years I have been without such cookware, I have made no effort to purchase any. This is because.... continue
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: ...the last thing item I bought (a ladle) got melted by one of my other housemates, so I can't trust an expensive saucepan to stay intact.
[ 14.03.2007, 12:19: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
My name is Micky Tivvy. My life is unbearable, a living hell whereby my lack of pans causes me great sadness and depression. Despite this, in the two years I have been without such cookware, I have made no effort to purchase any. This is because....
quote:During the great move of 2005 to London, I ditched all of my worldly posessions to free up my ability to move from place to place as necessary. Now that I think about it, I haven't had decent cooking equipment for years. In my current flat, I rely solely on the equipment of my housemates. The pans leave flecks of black coating in your food. The wok is tinged brown with rust as it is never greased before being placed back on the hook. The copper pans make everything taste metallic. I am in Cook Hell.
Oh but there's more, because I didn't realise you had replied. I think if you think, deep down or indeed, read my actual post, I have things to cook food with. Mostly cheap pans that after a while, start to leave traces of charred black non-stick lining in the meal. I could buy my own pans and put them in my room, if I feel like acting like an teenager. I can't change my housemates, but I can change myself. If you recall a lot of the things I talk about on here: the phone that I bought. I find a phone pretty essential and I bought one just over a year ago. Within months the buttons were broken and that wasn't my doing. It's almost like in order to prove that these things are really important to me, I should go out and buy a new phone immediately, rather than do the most logical solution, bide my time and move into a new place, with people who have the same values as me regarding personal property or material items. It seems that you have confused essential with life-sustaining, with a smattering of just bothering to read what I'm talking about. If buying items I know are likely to get damaged through misuse will allow me to contribute to this thread with your approval, I think I'll pass until I move in September, if that's ok.
[ 14.03.2007, 12:23: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: From my personal experience, I have to say that I found the jar grinder scenario to be inadequate for my cooking needs.
Then you need to stop using so much damn pepper in your meals. You're obviously getting carried away.
quote: pressing a button to grind the pepper electrically enables her to access freshly ground pepper without causing herself actual physical pain.
Of course, in the case of disability, having motorised assistance can be a necessity. I wouldn't argue that a disabled shouldn't be allowed to have motorised grinders.
[ 14.03.2007, 12:29: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Filtering through everythign you said there, what you're saying, basically, is that you haven't bought your own cookware becasue you think your flatmates might damage them, right?
But, and I'm sorry if I seem to be labouring a point, you could just keep them in your room out of harm's way?
The thing is, you're suggesting that having none of your own pans is really getting you down. Like, without those pans your life is somehow incomplete. Assuming this is accurate, why would you put yourself through this when there is a solution available to you?
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lickapaw#2: I've wanted a pepper mill for ages so I could get proper pepper, not that rubbish dust you can buy from the supermarket.
Do you think they have factories where they have to make that dusty pepper? Imagine the staff turnover in a place like that.
If I was thinking of opening a landmine factory then I'd make sure I located it in a town where there was a dusty pepper making factory. No matter what people's moral views were on making landmines for a living, there'd still be a queue round the block for any jobs there if the only alternative was a dusty pepper making factory. Or an onion peeling factory. I bet some poor bastard has to peel onions all day for a living.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Can someone kill Ringo? I'm willing to pay good money.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
Most things are pretty inessential. A good rule of my own devising relates to rail or air travel: always have reading material, always have something to drink. With these items you can cope with any amount of delay or frustration and the reading can help you improve your fund of knowledge (rather than depleting it, as computer games and txting do).
Cooking involves a disproportionate amount of dull chores, tension and disappointment. Why the fuck bother having a revolution in dining out and takeaway food and then spend precious evenings of your life in an inane activity that will probably result in you ruining a selection of perfectly good ingredients in an attempt to ape some shithead off the telly? Get a grip. Go to a restaurant and pay someone else to do it - also: no washing up.
Bonus tip: if you do actually ever get good at cooking, people won't admire you for it. They'll resent you and think you're a show-off.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: But, and I'm sorry if I seem to be labouring a point, you could just keep them in your room out of harm's way?
Dude keeps his saucepans in his room, it's not long before he is hated by everybody in his flat.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
ben, are you going through a 'bad patch'?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: Then you need to stop using so much damn pepper in your meals. You're obviously getting carried away.
I feel it is rather rude of you to criticise my culinary skills. I also suspect that our volumes of pepper usage differ considerably, and whilst you may be basing your opinion on your personal experience of the acceptable level of pepper consumption required by the standard home, this 'standard home' model does not fit with my own personal pepper usage. Your jar grinder scenario, is, I believe, an acceptable pepper solution to households cooking for one or two people. Households catering for larger numbers of people, or perhaps producing more interesting foodstuffs, require a greater amount of pepper. This is an undeniable fact.
quote:Of course, in the case of disability, having motorised assistance can be a necessity. I wouldn't argue that a disabled shouldn't be allowed to have motorised grinders.
I'm very glad to hear it.
[ 14.03.2007, 12:38: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: I bet some poor bastard has to peel onions all day for a living.
He's probably a robot. Give him a few years and he'll be campaigning for better conditions.
Or she. It's more likely to be a fembot doing kitchen work, isn't it?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some saucepan hating freak. I'm not some kind of moron who needs telling why it is that having nice things makes people happier. In fact it's fair to say that when I move out again, decent cookware is going to be pretty high on my list of things to buy. You see, I actually agree that it's a great thing to have. I'm just asking why Mikee doesn't have any. All I'm getting is sarcasm and rhetoric. It's boring, tiring, pointless. Just stop now.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Cooking involves a disproportionate amount of dull chores, tension and disappointment.
maybe you should update your saucepans.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Cooking involves a disproportionate amount of dull chores, tension and disappointment. Why the fuck bother having a revolution in dining out and takeaway food and then spend precious evenings of your life in an inane activity that will probably result in you ruining a selection of perfectly good ingredients in an attempt to ape some shithead off the telly?
You're probably not using enough pepper.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: producing more interesting foodstuffs, require a greater amount of pepper. This is an undeniable fact.
See? See what people who use fancy fucking grinders are like? Is there some relationship between how interesting your food is and how much pepper is in it? Fuck you Louche. Fuck you and your grinders and your pepper and your fucking good mood and fucking fuck.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Cooking involves a disproportionate amount of dull chores, tension and disappointment.
you need a dishwasher m9!
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
LOL.
eta thats my fourth lol of the day. well done the forum!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
What were the other three?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: See? See what people who use fancy fucking grinders are like? Is there some relationship between how interesting your food is and how much pepper is in it? Fuck you Louche. Fuck you and your grinders and your pepper and your fucking good mood and fucking fuck.
You're only saying that because you see Ben's food creation hating post as fucking permission. You spineless piece of shit. I'd like to electrically grind pepper in your eyes til you cry for mercy.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I'll give you permission in a minute, young lady.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
sorry I got carried away.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Jesus
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
guys?
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I think we've all learned a lot today, haven't we forum? It's been tough at times, but we all know by now that with true healing comes conflict. I think we should congratulate ourselves on how far down that road to true healing we travelled. We're nearly there now.
We're going to need some serious hugging going on to cement this very useful session. C'mon, guys. Grab a forumite. Give 'em a hug. You know you want to.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: ben, are you going through a 'bad patch'?
Let's cut the shit - this cooking meme is every bit as aspirational as starting a wine cellar or getting a cleaner in. It's what people do when they've given up on sex and conversation. Fuck it. Fuck it up the japseye.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
hugs Black Mask
looks down at own feet, mumbles apology for being such a prick Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
lol, do you remember when we blew up your housemates microwave by making popcorn, Ringo?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: lol, do you remember when we blew up your housemates microwave by making popcorn, Ringo?
I do remember that incident. HOWEVER that was not due to incompetence on our part, that was down to his shitty microwave with its mechanical timer sticking. That was amazing though, we killed it good.
You'd have thought the fucker would have seen the funny side though.
Hey, I wonder if, just for a moment, we got to glimpse what it's like to be Felix?
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
yer can put that buke down forra start, Debra! Nor cookin' needed - it's chips again! gettum while they's still pipin' 'ot! An pass the vinegar pet. Can yer mash em up for the lad? Its jest, me 'ands arra bit greas-y now! LOL! Mmmm! Test that. Not lyke yer fookin catshit off the fookin tele, eh?
[ 14.03.2007, 13:06: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: You'd have thought the fucker would have seen the funny side though.
Hey, I wonder if, just for a moment, we got to glimpse what it's like to be Felix?
And just for a moment, your housemate got to glimpse what it's like to be NWoD...
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I doubt it. For a start, we actually replaced the microwave.
I'd like to say that I can't imagine NWOD refusing to allow Felix to go to work until he'd wiped up the crumbs on the worktop, but actually I can picture that as clear as day Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Hey, I wonder if, just for a moment, we got to glimpse what it's like to be Felix?
Briefly, because you then replaced it for the same model with an electronic timer. *bursts into tears*
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Ben's really upset me.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I anticipate that Ben's next move will be to purchase a motorcycle Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Or become a hobo.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Maybe he could live on his motorbike like you did when you were 5 eh Ralph?
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Let's cut the shit - this cooking meme is every bit as aspirational as starting a wine cellar or getting a cleaner in. It's what people do when they've given up on sex and conversation. Fuck it. Fuck it up the japseye.
That's about the least perceptive thing I ever read. Are you telling me that all the people who blob out on the sofa to eat take away curry out of silver trays, spilling gouts of diarrhoea coloured sauce onto their tracksuit tops every time they miss their mouths because they're so engrossed in the latest episode of cunts in an Enclosed Space go on to have scintillating conversation and magical sex?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
He just seems so..... angry. Poor Ben.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Panniers bulging with books on one side and drinking water on t'other.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: Maybe he could live on his motorbike like you did when you were 5 eh Ralph?
Maybe. But I wouldn't recommend it.
[ 14.03.2007, 13:22: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Are you telling me that all the people who blob out on the sofa to eat take away curry out of silver trays, spilling gouts of diarrhoea coloured sauce onto their tracksuit tops every time they miss their mouths because they're so engrossed in the latest episode of cunts in an Enclosed Space go on to have scintillating conversation and magical sex?
That's the most bullshit syllogism ever. You're telling me that people relating at great length their cooking prowess isn't a transparently self-regarding and desperate tilt at authenticity? Impossible.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
looks up syllogism Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Heh-heh, heh-heh...
'gism' Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
I haven't gotten halfway thru this thread yet, but already I have to note down some questions and observations in case I forget.
1. Does anyone, let alone most people, really use a pepper "shaker" for ages before "graduating" to a grinder? Maybe I grew up in a really middle-class house but I wouldn't ever have dreamed of not owning a pepper-grinder. A pepper shaker seems like instant tea - some totally low-rent, substandard version of a real thing that in itself doesn't involve significant money or effort to achieve. (NB. I do not use loose tea rather than teabags, though at one point in my life I did indulge this rather pretentious and twee habit, complete with "infuser" and pretty patterned... "tins")
2. A pepper container with a grinder... "attached"? What the fuck? Again to pick up the above analogy, this to me is like someone saying that teabags come with a sachet of boiling water. I've never seen such a thing. Surely peppercorns come in little glass jars with an orange lid, or in a cardboard box.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Also, having a dishwashing machine seems sort of working-class, like having a Sky dish (immediate gratification provided by effective but unsightly labour-saving electrical product) whereas having posh £50 knives and sets of equally expen pots seems very middle class (reworking (traditionally female) quotidian necessity of cooking and eating into a (male?) art form, ie. chore of the cook-->art of the chef; utilitarian products of pan, knife transformed into artifacts for display and boast; price justified by supposed superior performance, but is perhaps more to do with design and brand).
What I mean is, the two kitchen-related possessions described by NWOD seem to have entirely different class associations and "cultural capital".
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Also, am I to understand NWOD that you own a dishwasher, but you keep it... unplugged in, unplumbed, in your bedroom or something? You have a dishwasher, but it's basically useless for the time being? That seems kind of sad. I must admit I don't quite understand how you have a dishwasher when you recently gave up a lot of your possessions to let you move from place to place, and when you can't trust your housemates not to damage stuff, and when you're apparently on a budget. How come you spent money on a dishwasher you couldn't use?
If I was you and reading this post, I'd think I was taking the piss and pretending to be innocent about it. But I honestly don't quite get it. You're in a place where you can't trust people not to fuck around with stuff, and you're being careful with money, and you don't have loads of space, and you want to reduce your possessions so it's easy to move around, but you bought a dishwasher that you can't or haven't plugged and plumbed in.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Great thread anyway! I can't believe it was both interesting and fully fucking on-topic for four pages!
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: You're telling me that people relating at great length their cooking prowess isn't a transparently self-regarding and desperate tilt at authenticity? Impossible.
Enjoying cooking and eating doesn't automatically = transparently self-regarding and desperate. I like cooking and I happen to be fucking good at it, and that's why I took a year out to be a chef.
And I like having the tools wot I do it with to be proper. Seriously fucking sharp knives, that stay sharp, pans that distribute heat properly so you don't get burnt bits, and utensils that don't melt. This stuff is only really fun when you've got the right gear to do it with - otherwise it's like trying to watch Bad Boys II on your mobile phone. You get there in the end but it's a frustratingly poor performance.
(NWOD, try nisbets.co.uk for cooking gear - they do basic sets of chef knives (Victorinox) for about £35, and you can get a 12 inch serrated slicing knife for £11. Ain't much your housemates can do to them and you can save up for the Global.)
[ 14.03.2007, 17:08: Message edited by: Octavia ]
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
I seem to remember observing many months ago that cooking seemed to be the only activity where modesty about one's achievements went so cleanly out of the window.
And it seems plenty true now, as well!
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Octavia: Seriously fucking sharp knives, that stay sharp, pans that distribute heat properly so you don't get burnt bits, and utensils that don't melt.
*reels back in awe*
Oh come on. How impressed would everyone be if Ringo started going on about his new deluxe chrome-vanadium socket set?
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: 1. Does anyone, let alone most people, really use a pepper "shaker" for ages before "graduating" to a grinder? Maybe I grew up in a really middle-class house but I wouldn't ever have dreamed of not owning a pepper-grinder. A pepper shaker seems like instant tea - some totally low-rent, substandard version of a real thing that in itself doesn't involve significant money or effort to achieve.
Prepare yourself for a serious jolt to your personal myth, Bravestarr! Some people are born middle class, others graduate. Your grinder-based assumptions place you firmly in the former category.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben:
quote:Originally posted by Octavia: Seriously fucking sharp knives, that stay sharp, pans that distribute heat properly so you don't get burnt bits, and utensils that don't melt.
*reels back in awe*
Oh come on. How impressed would everyone be if Ringo started going on about his new deluxe chrome-vanadium socket set?
See I cook, and I didn't think that the above quote was anything to do with impressing anyone. To me it merely appeared to be attempting to convey the fact that good quality kitchen equipment is desirable and why. i.e. because it does what you want it to.
Sharp knives that last are a good thing. Anyone who's tried cutting an onion with a dull knife would know this, but I guess if you're used to living off nothing but fish and chips for months on end then you wouldn't have a fucking clue what you're talking about.
Also I wouldn't mind Ringo talking about anything to do with cars, not because I share the same level of passion for them that he does, but because at least it's something about which he's enthusiastic, rather than being a pompous naysaying arse about the enthusiasms of others.
[ 15.03.2007, 04:43: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: 2. A pepper container with a grinder... "attached"? What the fuck? Again to pick up the above analogy, this to me is like someone saying that teabags come with a sachet of boiling water. I've never seen such a thing.
Try Tesco Lord Fauntleroy.
I'm with Benway on this one. They are inexpensive (around a quid) and they work properly without breaking, unlike a miriad of other more expensive grinders (nipple tinglers aside).
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I don't understand why there's this assumption that unless you're prepared to pay hundreds for kitchenware, you must therefore live off fast food and your idea of putting effort into cooking is reading the instructions on the back of a microwave meal. I enjoy cooking, and while it's annoying when something sticks to the pan, it's not the end of the world. I kind of resent the assumption that this means I live off beans on toast.
For the record I tend to use cheapy halfords tools with the exception of my torque wrench and axle stands, since they're pretty important. Other than that, crappy sockets which cost naff all which I replace every now and then when they break.
Posted by SilverGinger5 (Member # 49) on :
I'm definitely with Octavia on this one. Having cooked with thin pans that have random hot spots and get food stuck to the bottom, it becomes an absolute pleasure to cook with a big titanium pan which has even heat all along it and doesn't have food sticking to it at the suggestion of heat. It's also handy to be able to use pans on the hob and then put them straight in the oven which you can't do with your £2.99 from cost cutter pans.
On the pepper front, I don't own a pepper grinder so I'm not sure how this is going to make Louche feel. That said, I made steak with a pepper sauce last night and I crushed the pepper up in one of these.
Is that an acceptable substitute for your 24" italian dildo of a pepper grinder?
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
quote:Originally posted by Octavia: I like cooking and I happen to be fucking good at it, and that's why I took a year out to be a chef.
It's this aspect that jumps out for me. I'm sure I've said it somewhere before, but I don't know anyone who, however good they are, says "I'm a fucking good guitarist", or "I love to drive, and I'm fucking brilliant at it" or "I'm a fucking amazing writer".
Even though on this board, which isn't really a hive of modesty and humility, there are without doubt people who could legitimately claim to be fucking good at those things. It's just not done. It would make you seem an arse.
Cooking remains the only activity I can think of where normal people have no qualms about bigging themselves up to astonishing heights.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I don't understand why there's this assumption that unless you're prepared to pay hundreds for kitchenware, you must therefore live off fast food and your idea of putting effort into cooking is reading the instructions on the back of a microwave meal.
In a late capitalist system, some kinds consumption are tied up with the purchase of moral and aesthetic capital. Buying snazzy gear to display in your kitchen is only partly about use-value, the real attraction is that it bolsters self-worth and confers the right to look down on the better part of the population who don't make so much a fetish of home cooking (or 'domestic science' as it was somewhat less glamorously known, not too long ago).
I mean, fair enough: we all look down on others for one reason or another - but lets not bullshit ourselves that that isn't exactly what's happening here.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I don't understand why there's this assumption that unless you're prepared to pay hundreds for kitchenware, you must therefore live off fast food and your idea of putting effort into cooking is reading the instructions on the back of a microwave meal.
Ben raised it, when he commented that cooking contained a disproportionate number of unpleasant chores and that the alternative to this self regarding activity was to make use of the revolution in eating out and getting take-aways. It's not an 'assumption' it's a retort to the alternatives explicitly stated by ben.
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: (reworking (traditionally female) quotidian necessity of cooking and eating into a (male?) art form, ie. chore of the cook-->art of the chef; utilitarian products of pan, knife transformed into artifacts for display and boast; price justified by supposed superior performance, but is perhaps more to do with design and brand).
I don't really believe this as a rationale behind expensive cooking kit, because the really top end stuff isn't necessarily beautifully designed or done by recognisable brands; the only thing it really has going for it is build quality and functionality. As with a lot of other things, design and brand tend to be the domain of the mid-end products, which aren't as functional. I don't know much about cooking, and none of the respected brands mean anything to me, nor do their products look particularly solid - pretty useless in terms of something to show off to your chums. To compare it to something like hi-fi, the stylish, aspirational brands like Bang and Olufsen are a joke performance wise compared to something less good looking, less well known, but far better performing like Naim. Did that make any sense? Basically, really ggod stuff is rarely much use for showing off because companies that are good at building things are often shit at making them look pretty and then branding them.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
quote:I don't really believe this as a rationale behind expensive cooking kit, because the really top end stuff isn't necessarily beautifully designed or done by recognisable brands; the only thing it really has going for it is build quality and functionality. As with a lot of other things, design and brand tend to be the domain of the mid-end products, which aren't as functional. I don't know much about cooking, and none of the respected brands mean anything to me, nor do their products look particularly solid - pretty useless in terms of something to show off to your chums. To compare it to something like hi-fi, the stylish, aspirational brands like Bang and Olufsen are a joke performance wise compared to something less good looking, less well known, but far better performing like Naim. Did that make any sense? Basically, really ggod stuff is rarely much use for showing off because companies that are good at building things are often shit at making them look pretty and then branding them.
That's a very good point but actually I think you provide the counter-response - that the really good stuff is show-offy in an obscure, subtle, unshowy way. You've named Naim, which I don't know about - but I'm sure other people coming round your house might notice "Naim... ah, yeah, not Bang and Olufsen, this guy knows what he's doing." It's the idea of quiet, genuine knowledge. It doesn't have to be designer and obvious - in fact, the type of brand you're talking about is clearly higher-status as it takes a certain expertise to even notice and appreciate it.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Precisely the mentality celebrated in the new Golf ad.
The Great Pretender Ad storyline As 'The Great Pretender' is sung a man is shown through his daily life and is outgoing and likes to be the centre of attention, so much so that he annoys his friends, then as he walks into his apparent block a more casual and understated version of himself leaves and gets into the VW Golf.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
My mum is a fucking great cook (if only I took after her in that department) and her cooking kit is made up of some really old stuff that she's had since before I was born, not necessarily great quality, but well maintained (e.g she has a proper knife steel which she uses to sharpen her - relatively cheap (Kitchen Devil) - knives up when necessary) plus some cheap and cheerful bits and pieces, including some stuff which she retained from being a school cook e.g. big rectangular tray tins and so on.
It would seem, from her example, that you don't need poncy crap to be a good cook, if you know what you're doing.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: It doesn't have to be designer and obvious - in fact, the type of brand you're talking about is clearly higher-status as it takes a certain expertise to even notice and appreciate it.
Ye-es but at that point the qualities of the brand are a factor of the performance of the equipment. It's not down to a perception massaged by endless quantities of aspirational lifestyle advertising, it is actually better.
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: It's this aspect that jumps out for me. I'm sure I've said it somewhere before, but I don't know anyone who, however good they are, says "I'm a fucking good guitarist", or "I love to drive, and I'm fucking brilliant at it" or "I'm a fucking amazing writer".
I'm astonished you've chosen these things, as they're all things that people have actually claimed to be on this forum, from London talking about the "fantastic piece of vinyl" her band put out, NWoD and Misc championing their performance at a gig, Ringo talking in rants about just how good a driver he is and - yes - Thorn Davis bragging (prematurely) about a publisher expressing interest in his book. Given that ben accused anyone who expresses enthusiasm about cooking of being a self-regarding poseur incapable of conversation, sex, and indeed cooking, a comment asserting someone's credentials isn't really out of place.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
I can't cook - god knows I've tried, but apart from a few simple but wholesome (read: stodgy) English fare, I just cook anything that I would be classed as servable to guests and the like. It is for that reason I do not bother spending my cash on expensive cooking equipment.
However I guess the one thing I do aspire to do well is photography, and over the past few years have spent a lot of money on equipment for my passion. Yep I could have saved hundreds of pounds on glass and even dropped on the models - my D200 is a 10 megapixel camera, but I could have bought a D40 which is also 10Mp and probably a third of the price. Same with the lenses - I did buy a 70-300 lens for about 150 quid when I first bought the camera, but last year I shelled out a thousand for one which only goes 70-200 - and for why? Simple - you get what you pay for. Whilst the D40 is a cracking little camera, the environments I shoot in predominantly (concert venues) see you rained with beer, struck by stage divers, all sorts - and you have sometimes less than 10 minutes to get the shot. Having a magnesium alloy body on the camera gives me some protection, and having a lens that is so fast ensures I get what I can with the available light that is sharp- the old 70-300 was crap in comparison. And having 2 cameras of similar build, with lenses of the same pro quality means I get the shot more than I ever could before with all the time and lighting restrictions and just one camera.
I go into a pit at gigs and other photographers sometimes sneer, whilst others might look on in awe at the gear I have worked hard to get, but that was me 5 years ago when I started out (the wanting that is)- I just made the decision to build up the best stuff I could afford as it's what I love doing. There has never been any thought of one-upmanship, or of showing off, and I know that talent will go a long way before gear, but with that I'm still learning. I just know for the sort of photography I do most, to get the best results I can, the investment has been worth it and necessary. I don't look down on people in the pit with cheaper equipment (I do tend to admire the real pro gear, but 10 grand for a lens and camera I cannot justify at my level of expertise) and if I feel anything for the person next to me with their entry level digital slr, its just that I was there once, and still took some shots that I am very proud of, and no doubt they will do the same.
Interestingly, a colleague of mine has just spent a small fortune on a kitchen with no less than three ovens - a conventional, a microwave and a steam oven - the latter she doesn't even know what it is specifically for. That to me sounds daft, and perhaps a good example of what a gear-snob is - as far as I know she still hasn't any idea what to cook in it.
[ 15.03.2007, 06:05: Message edited by: Waynster ]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Some people just don't understand the sensual arts.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Ye-es but at that point the qualities of the brand are a factor of the performance of the equipment. It's not down to a perception massaged by endless quantities of aspirational lifestyle advertising, it is actually better.
OK, true.
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: I'm astonished you've chosen these things, as they're all things that people have actually claimed to be on this forum, from London talking about the "fantastic piece of vinyl" her band put out,
True, but she does seem almost absurdly, antisocially, almost unhappily egocentric at times - with a kind of desperate "like me you fuckers, oh ok then fuck off!" peak-and-trough neediness.
quote:NWoD and Misc championing their performance at a gig
I've seen them saying they had a great gig, but I don't think I've seen either of them saying they're fucking good at what they do (... "Avonating", and so on). It's a bit different. I could have a great day at work, but that's not entirely down to me being skill - it's to do with a lot of things going to plan, and with how other people acted towards me as well. A great gig could be 50% to do with a great audience.
quote: Ringo talking in rants about just how good a driver he is and - yes - Thorn Davis bragging (prematurely) about a publisher expressing interest in his book.
You're probably right in general about the former, but I haven't seen Ringo, as far as I can remember, saying he's a fucking good driver - and I think you/Thorn expressed thrilled pleasure about the publisher, without ever coming close to saying "this means I'm a fucking good writer, which I knew anyway."
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: It's this aspect that jumps out for me. I'm sure I've said it somewhere before, but I don't know anyone who, however good they are, says "I'm a fucking good guitarist", or "I love to drive, and I'm fucking brilliant at it" or "I'm a fucking amazing writer".
Snorton fancies himself as a driver.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Some people just don't understand the sensual arts.
If this is a comment aimed at my post then you are right, quite probably. You see the thing is I was not born artistically gifted, as many people I have met seem to be. Give them a box and an elastic band and they'll bang out a symphony. Give them a 5 quid disposable camera and they'll just see something, point, shoot and et voila - a beautiful picture that I would kill to have taken.
You see I was born with a love of music and art, and there is nothing more frustrating than a desire to make your own yet without that natural ability, that abstract way of seeing things. Sadly I was born practical, so I have to study, learn, practice and aspire to be better.
But practical isn't all bad - it has its advantages over perhaps the 'sensual' side in what I do, when I do the gig photography, and if you permit me I will try and explain...
You have sometimes 6 minutes to do what you are there to do. You have no control over an incredibly fluctuating lighting pattern - it may well be treated as random with the colour changes, moving lights - and you are not there to photograph them. You are not allowed any flash of your own to at least help more often than not. You have several artists, who are constantly bounding around all over the place, and you ideally want to get one or two decent shots of each of them. There are obstacles - mike stands, cabs, drum kits. You have an enclosure just a couple of feet deep, filled with several other people relentlessly trying to get exactly what you are - and all the time whilst avoiding security guards, flying bodies and liquids you don't even want to know what they are. You have so many things going on at once that you have to be reliant on your gear - and having the luxury of a couple of equations taken away to compensate for the rest - autofocus, priority modes and so forth - well sometimes its not a luxury, its a necessity.
Believe me I would love to set up the photograph, but all I have is my instinct,my equipment that I know how to work and trust, and a lot of mistakes over the years which I have learned from. And I'll still take less than 60 shots sometimes, and get 75% that I am happy with, a dozen or so of a quality you would see I hope in a magazine (though in my eyes they could always be better). Now someone who wants to be sensual in that situation, wait until the last chorus of the 3rd song to take one picture, to be belted over the head with an errant DM boot won't cut it.
You may see my way as not art at all - that's fine, but if I can capture in 1 125th of a second a moment in time that can be looked at many years later, and someone can feel the electricity in the room at that time, and with what they see before them and use their imagination to get an idea of what it was like to be there - then my job is done.
I've always preffered a picture that tells a story, than a portrait for example - whilst David LaChappelle is undoubtedly a genius at what he does, I'd still prefer to see an exhibition of press photography and just because the subject produces the photograph as opposed to the person behind the camera, it still takes the instinct and talent of the photographer to capture that moment so that, for want of a better phrase,no explanation is necessary to anyone who later views the image, but its not lazy - it still makes you think, and all art should make you do that.
Ah its horse for courses I suppose.... Still my plan is with some friends to learn the other side a bit more - then I'll switch to manual (that's how I learned) and go back to grassroots, but with the control over the image, I can afford that.
[ 15.03.2007, 06:59: Message edited by: Waynster ]
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster:
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Some people just don't understand the sensual arts.
If this is a comment aimed at my post
No, it wasn't. It was aimed at ben and and wonderstarr and their starchy attitudes to enjoyment and indulgence.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
I can't believe you made Waynster waste 722 words replying there Mask. If only you'd specified who you were mocking.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I'll remember to be more specific in future.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: No, it wasn't. It was aimed at ben and and wonderstarr and their starchy attitudes to enjoyment and indulgence.
Buggar...
[ 15.03.2007, 07:00: Message edited by: Waynster ]
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
I'll get me coat...
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Waynster: Buggar...
It was a great post, though. And anything you do with enough passion is art, in my opinion. It's all about passion and ideas. The ideas don't have to be abundant or earth-shattering, but the passion has to be there.
[ 15.03.2007, 07:02: Message edited by: Black Mask ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: I could have a great day at work, but that's not entirely down to me being skill - it's to do with a lot of things going to plan, and with how other people acted towards me as well.
Good cooking, however, is down to being skill. For which you don't need expensive equipment, but it can help you out, it feels nice, cuts corners, speeds you up, ensures consistency, allows you to do more jazzy things, increases enjoyment, maximises efficiency, and so on.
Though I do get what you're saying, WoStar, about the oddity of it being socially acceptable to state one's skillness at cooking. I was just trying to think of anything similar that had the same kind of acceptance, but I can't. Imagine someone who brewed top-quality wines or beers at home, that other people raved about. When questioned, they would probably be rather demure, and say "oh, well, yes, they're quite good I suppose, not bad for knocking back with dinner, but hardly a classic" or something.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr: I haven't seen Ringo, as far as I can remember, saying he's a fucking good driver
Recent quote from Ringo during that massive blizzard we had which paralysed the whole country (for about 3 hours).
quote:ok, let's look at the situation: we have potentially a whole shiteload of ice and snow, and freezing temperatures. This rules out the bike. Now, the alternative is to go by road. While I have no problem with public transport for the most part (I got the bus today, in fact) I don't trust bus drivers to be able to control their vehicle in snow and ice. I don't trust cabbies either. In fact, the only person I really trust to drive well in snow and ice is me.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: I was just trying to think of anything similar that had the same kind of acceptance, but I can't. Imagine someone who brewed top-quality wines or beers at home, that other people raved about. When questioned, they would probably be rather demure, and say "oh, well, yes, they're quite good I suppose, not bad for knocking back with dinner, but hardly a classic" or something.
My point exactly.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: It was a great post, though. And anything you do with enough passion is art, in my opinion. It's all about passion and ideas. The ideas don't have to be abundant or earth-shattering, but the passion has to be there.
Thanks BM - I've always hoped that whilst I was born without the 'art gene' as it were, that my passion would hopefully make me strive to be good at what I love doing. And with anything you turn your hand to, you don't always know if you are going the right way about it, and having a practical mindset like I have I often wonder if I'm doing it correctly - but art is something I guess there is no right or wrong way of doing something, and that's the joy of it. What works for one person, may not for another, either in the making of the artform or the subsequent appreciation by the audience.
I guess for me, is as long as I know I will never be good enough for me personally, I'll always try and be better, but along the way, as long as what I produce is liked by some, I'll keep at it, and get a lot of pleasure from doing striving to be the best I can be at something I truly love doing.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
We do seem to have moved on from this now, but last night I was talking to a friend about this very thread, and she told me you could get pepper grinders with lights on them! So you can see where you're grinding the pepper. What a fantastic invention, I thought. So I have brought a picture for your delectation:
I am also trying to recruit said friend to TMO. I think this place would suit her. She complains that 'there's nowehere where you can tell people to fuck off anymore'. I'd like you to dedicate your best efforts today to illustrate that TMO is, indeed, the sort of place where you can tell people to fuck off.
Posted by Waynster (Member # 56) on :
Fuck off Louche Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: pepper grinders with lights on them! So you can see where you're grinding the pepper. What a fantastic invention, I thought. So I have brought a picture for your delectation:
LOL
My folks have got one of those they got it as a wedding anniversary present or something, a few years ago. I pissed myself when I saw it and I'd forgotten about it until seeing your photo there. What a stupid fucking idea. How dark do you keep your kitchen/dining room that you need a torch to see your fucking plate? They need about 147 batteries, as well.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Some people just don't understand the sensual arts.
Oi! Noigellar! Shaow ass ya tits!
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
Ahm Oot.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
? Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Recent quote from Ringo
FFS I haven't even said anything!!
I think there's a difference between saying you've got confidence in your own abilities to do something that you've made a point of getting good at, and boastfully claiming to be brilliant at something. I never claim to be an amazing driver. I know amazing drivers and I know that no matter how much I practice, I'll never be as good as them. That's not to say I'm not proud of what I've accomplished and rightly so.
The difference is, however, that I don't look sneeringly at people who I don't think are as good as me, and I certainly don't suggest someone is culturally or socially deficient simply because they're not into the same things as me.
That's just arrogance and that's probably what really rubs about people who go on about cooking as if they've achieved some kind of kitchen Nirvana, exclusive only to those who follow some kind of arduous path to enlightenment.
That's the vibe I've picked up anyway. I'm not really interested in arguing about it so if you think differently, whatever.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
If they were blue neon lights, Ringo might want one of them.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: pepper grinders with lights on them!
Household items with unnecessary lights attached are always a good thing, in my opinion.
However, you wouldn't talk to me last night so fuck off Louche. Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
On the pepper-pot.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
[ 15.03.2007, 07:54: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
You came to us with an idea of an electric light on a pepper pot [snigger... refers to hastily-scribbled notes] that wasn't very BRIGHT, now was it!!?? eh!? Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
hopefully you've learned your lesson, kovacs.
[ 15.03.2007, 08:09: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
I don't want to be called "kovacs", thanks Benway.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
lol
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Why have you deleted a perfectly good joke, above?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Our budding entrepreneur is hoping to shed some light on their product, in an effort to grind down the dragons' objections, who are seasoned pros and will be looking to pepper our applicant with incisive questions. Will our hopeful be able to get them on side with a spicy condiment of bottom-line reasoning, or will they simply offer a sprinkling of half-cooked ideas?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Who is this boss-eyed glove-puppet and how did he get a job on the telly?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by missgolightly: However, you wouldn't talk to me last night so fuck off Louche.
I was being annoyed about something trivial. You wouldn't have liked talking to me last night. I'd have whinged. It wouldn't have been a good start to our affair. I want to woo you with textual brilliance. Not meh at you.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I was being annoyed about something trivial. You wouldn't have liked talking to me last night. I'd have whinged. It wouldn't have been a good start to our affair. I want to woo you with textual brilliance. Not meh at you.
Blimey - affairs and wooing, sounds good! Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Do you think they have factories where they have to make that dusty pepper? Imagine the staff turnover in a place like that.
If I was thinking of opening a landmine factory then I'd make sure I located it in a town where there was a dusty pepper making factory. No matter what people's moral views were on making landmines for a living, there'd still be a queue round the block for any jobs there if the only alternative was a dusty pepper making factory. Or an onion peeling factory. I bet some poor bastard has to peel onions all day for a living.
I read a story - no, scratch that - several stories about people who worked gathering/preparing food in various places, including someone who sorted milk cartons, somone who made cornish pasties, someone who prepared fish and some poor sod who harvested garlic.
He said he had this utopian image before his first day on the job of gathering pungent bulbs in the sunshine ready to be plaited into strings, feeling dead trendy ('cos garlic woz in then, wonnit?) and settling down at the end of the work day with a glass of red wine (French, of course).
Nope. After a few weeks of sweating like a bastard in steaming hot fields, the smell of garlic permeated his skin, hair, clothes... He lost several friends, it would appear.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I'm just asking why Mikee doesn't have any. [Cooking equipment]
For the same reason as he, like everybody else, doesn't have bundles of carrots with their stalks and leaves still attached, wholesomely, to the root, in his fridge. And exquisitely designed interior decorating.
You intend to do these things when you move into your own place, but you soon realise that it's not practical.
I'm still bitter that I've never had intact carrots in my fridge. I've had that fridge for 4 1/2 years now. I should have had carrots.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lickapaw#2: I'm still bitter that I've never had intact carrots in my fridge.
You should join a CSA Lickapaw#2! When in season, our fridge is chock full of filthy intact vegetables.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by Lickapaw#2: I'm still bitter that I've never had intact carrots in my fridge.
A list of loads of people who delivery seasonal organic locally grown vegetables directly to your doorstep if you're in the Brighton area.
Not only will you get carrots when they're in season, but you'll also get a range of vegetables you probably wouldn't use which will increase your cooking skill as much as a "Chef's knife of slicing +2"
You'll also be saving the planet as you won't be getting vegetables flown in from Brazil. If you do this I guarantee Louche will think you are ace.
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
quote:Originally posted by wonderstarr:
I saw the cooolest ever Horatio scene the other day. He was in a car containing a bomb that was about to explode, and was driving it somewhere secluded. He stopped the car, calmly put his sunglasses on, left the car and walked slowly away, and didn't even flinch when the car exploded close behind him. It was great. Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
I'm disappointed he didn't say "now, that's going out... with a bang."
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by SilverGinger5: On the pepper front, I don't own a pepper grinder so I'm not sure how this is going to make Louche feel. That said, I made steak with a pepper sauce last night and I crushed the pepper up in one of these.
On reflection, this pretty much shoots down Nathan Bleak's arguments in a blizzard of spunk and agony. If kitchen gear and c21 cookery is about practicality rather than posing why the heck do people think its cool to use a - a fucking - a fucking STONE AGE IMPLEMENT to do a simple task that an inexpensive grinder will do it in a couple of flicks of the wrist.
This gay quest for authenticity! It isn't going to happen if you spend your whole working day in front of an lcd then an devote hour or so making peasant food of an evening. You'd be better off becoming a tree surgeon or something, surely.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I love you, ben.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
SilverGinger last night, preparing a gourmet meal
Posted by SilverGinger5 (Member # 49) on :
But I use the pestle and mortar for crushing numerous other things and I don't really want to have loads of other grinders for putting other things in. Cumin Grinder? Coriander Grinder? Pink Peppercorn grinder?
Also, with a pestle and mortar you can choose whether you just want to crack the pepper or grind it into a powder and different dishes require a different level of crushedness of the pepper.
So although it might be a slightly more labour intensive way of grinding pepper than an actual grinder, it gives much more beyond simple grinding to a powder.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
my mum bought a pestle and mortar that is about two foot wide and weighs, at a guess, almost as much as i do. i honestly believe that driving it home from whichever wanky home counties anteekee shop she bought it from was the death of the family volvo (with every sentence, this post is becoming more gruelling for ben to read, i can just tell) and it has never once been used for any purpose more culinary than the recepticle in which the fruit is kept before it is peeled and eaten/ goes off. sometimes, we keep a pineapple in it.
[ 15.03.2007, 10:51: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Why do you hate cooking so much, ben?
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: This gay quest for authenticity! It isn't going to happen if you spend your whole working day in front of an lcd then an devote hour or so making peasant food of an evening. You'd be better off becoming a tree surgeon or something, surely.
B-but so much, so, so much of what you write on here is about some TV programme or other you watched. How can you lay into people for spending their leisure time cooking when you watch so much, so, so much television? I mean, you were even providing updates on dreck like Celebrity Love Island for christ's sake. Is that more authentic, somehow? Or... what?
[ 15.03.2007, 10:55: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
I'm prepared to admit that there is an element of the poseur about having a fuck off granite mortar and pestle. I like the way mine looks in my kitchen. But then I use a cheap pepper grinder for the everyday stuff, over salad, or pizza for example.
But, to continue the quality hi-fi analogy, it also works well. A proper heavy granite mortar and pestle like that makes dust out of tough seed spices with a tiny amount of effort. Which is nice.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
ben have you been watching heston blumenthal? i started talking like you after watching heston blumenthal too many times. all that 'we're gonna take spaghetti bolognese to ANOTHER LEVEL!' cockwash. unbearable. wouldnt it be great, i sometimes think, if one were to take creme brulee to another level by covering heston blumenthal's face in cream and sugar and then blowtorching it?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Nathan, I don't think ben was making any claims for himself, more pointing out what he saw as the contradictory choices made by other people.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
which reminds me: i like cooking as much as the next normal person (ie, sometimes a lot, sometimes not at all, which is why god invented crumpets) but if you have a blowtorch in your kitchen, and you are not generally employed in a welding- based industry, you are a **** . end. of.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Is enjoying cooking a contradictory choice, though? Because you sit at a desk for work... it's illogical to enjoy cooking, to get caught up in the paraphanelia of a hobby that's different in every way to what you do during the daytime? That's not really contradictory is it? It's quite plausible.
[ 15.03.2007, 11:15: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
My housemates have agreed that your mum can come to my flat for the weekend to stay and cook for us if she wants H1ppy. There's no telly and the pestle and mortar is one of those cheap ones from Ikea. She can burst into tears at the horror of it all too, if she wants.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
If she wants to cook something simple, then we have three tin openers. They're all pretty knackered though. I don't think it would cost too much to buy a new one though, in hindsight.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I'm only joking about the pestle and mortar! We have a pepper grinder. Your mum is probably handy around the kitchen with the pair of pliers though, right? Felix lost the top of it and you can't turn it without a pair of those.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Well...given that the last house that she lived in (for around 15 years) the kitchen cold tap was one of those clear plastic ones and the plastic bit snapped off, meaning that for around 12 of those years she used a pair of pliers to turn the tap on and off, she'd probably cope, I think.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Today I've had a bowl of Cheerios with a chopped up banana, and two cans of Stella Artois. Maybe we should start a "What Have You Eaten Today" like they have on the girly board TheMockTurtle. Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I can't stop laughing. This is too much.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Two chocolate frosted donuts, seven cups of coffee, a half a pack of cigarettes. Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
bottle of water, toasted prosciutto panini, diet coke, and a 77 from the machine.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
A crumpet, three bananas, a pint of freshly-squeezed orange juice, a pint of skimmed milk and three Marlboros.
Edited to add: make that four Marlboros.
[ 15.03.2007, 12:08: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Several glasses of water, and some delicious homemade tuna mayo sandwiches. Not home made by me, of course. When I make my own sandwiches it's always a slice of ham on a slice of cheese between two slices of bread.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
sainsbury's pink grapefruit cereal bar, bucket'o'salad from work salad bar, tube of smarties, 3 cups tea, about 10 honey & lemon lockets.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
What's everybody getting their Mothers for Mother's Day? Mine's getting some wine and some nice flowers.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
a broken nose
Posted by SilverGinger5 (Member # 49) on :
Bowl of Porridge. Salad with lettuce, tuna, tomato and olives. 2 cups of forest berries tea. 2 bottles of water. 4 Cigarettes.
N.B. Nathan is not telling the whole truth about his sandwich making. I saw him make a sandwich with Ham and Tomoato once but slicing the tomatos was apparently too much effort so he just put it in the middle and hit it to flatten it down a bit.
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by dance margarita: ben have you been watching heston blumenthal?
I was staying at dedalus's gaff the other day and was flicking through a copy of Tana Ramsay's Family Kitchen. It somewhat over-eggs the pudding with twee imagery of kiddiwinks helping earth mother Tana at the wood-fired range, but the major cause for dismay was that absolutely no recipes involved hubby Gordon's curdled asparagus jus being drizzled over Tana's delicious warm baps.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
presumably any tomato that finds its way into his sandwiches these days is now sliced so thin with a space age knife that you could shave with it. The tomato. I mean, you could obviously shave with the knife. What I'm suggesting is that his wife is such a fucking good cook with some super sharp pro-am cooking blades that everything gets sliced really thin. So thin that even a tomato can be 'sharpened'. Geh. Tough crowd. Ragging on Octavia is so early afternoon.
[ 15.03.2007, 12:21: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
looks at sandwich
looks at benway
looks at sandwich
...
This is tuna mayo. No tomato.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
lol
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I mean, I realise that.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I’m a bit concerned by the number of people eating cigarettes.
I’ve had:
Beef and horseradish sarnie Nutri-grain bar (blueberry) Apple About 5 cups of coffee
Feeling well fuelled for my ride home..
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: What's everybody getting their Mothers for Mother's Day?
LOL! I'm going to try not to give my Mum a hard time. It's the first time I'll have seen in her in 11 years and I'm already struggling with my inner self.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
Hope it goes okay for you.
[ 15.03.2007, 12:42: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
For serious.
My siblings: still don't know I exist.
e: cheers, chief.
[ 15.03.2007, 12:50: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Abby (Member # 582) on :
I eat a lot more than you guys.
*prods belly in dispirited way*...
*goes to gym*...
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: My siblings: still don't know I exist.
You have brothers and sisters that don't know you exist? Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I thought you knew about this ralph. I feel like the only sane one from my Mother's side sometimes.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
I remember you mentioning something along these lines a while back. But I figured they had found out about you by now.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
It might be ok actually. My mum has quite the temper though. As we'll be mostly stuck in the house in the sticks and she's having physical trouble using her arm after the stroke, it might be like a four day vigil in the Big Brother house with Jackiey Budden on morphine.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Sorry, the Big Brother reference is lost on me.
Are you visiting her in the US?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
No, that's not happening now. She's flying to England to stay with my Nan and I'm going to travel to see her there.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
So no siblings?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
No. They're clusterfucks aren't they? Say it.
[ 15.03.2007, 14:17: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by missgolightly (Member # 34) on :
Mikee, I'll be around most of Sunday (think I'm just seeing my mum for a bit in the afternoon), so if you need to escape, call me, seriously, and you can come to mine or the pub.
Today I've had:
Cup of Tea Toasted ham and egg sandwich M&S Broad Bean & Pea Dipper M&S Vanilla bean & Maple Smoothie
Later I've got Steak, Chips and Pepper Sauce, lots of nice red wine and a posh chocolate mousse to celebrate getting a temp job starting monday (so no more daytime posting for me, damnit).
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
This thread was a bit much to read in one go. I skimmed over a lot of the shaker/grinder stuff. Does everyone own pepper then? I inherited a tub of table salt left at the back of a cupboard when I moved into the flat, but not sure what I'd need pepper for.
My main problem with cookery wankery is that the intake of energy and nutrients in the form of foodstuffs is the most basic of activities and it really doesn't need to be made into a massive deal.
I don't have a computer at home, spend about £1.50 per month on my mobile, so could probably live without that, I have an MP3 thing that holds four albums and hasn't been updated for over a year. Basically, if there was a nuclear apocalypse tomorrow I would be the least affected by the loss of 21st century technology, and would be made leader of the band of survivors. I'd get to ride the best horse and have the biggest rifle.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I'd get to ride the best horse and have the biggest rifle.
You'd be a canape.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: I inherited a tub of table salt left at the back of a cupboard when I moved into the flat, but not sure what I'd need pepper for.
This is heresy! I never add salt to anything, on the grounds that I don't like the taste plus it's bad for you, whereas I use pepper by the bucketload.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
On a different note, anything worth tipping for the Gold Cup, VP? I'll probably organise a sweepstake at work, but I might take a proper punt too.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: My main problem with cookery wankery is that the intake of energy and nutrients in the form of foodstuffs is the most basic of activities and it really doesn't need to be made into a massive deal.
I refer you to a quote made a while back from a TMOite extolling the vitues of making a bit of effort when it comes to cooking:
quote:Originally posted by ben: Even an ingrate such as myself can appreciate eating as something more than a bodily function.
I mean, Christ, we do it often enough in our lives - you might as well make it enjoyable rather than the bleak black-coffee-and-dry-toast fuel stop that seems to be the preferred mode among tmo males.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I have given up salt in an effort to combat my "ridiculously high" blood pressure. I looked it up on NHS Direct and everything. Factors contributing to high blood pressure: high intake of alcohol, smoking, high intake of salt, high intake of caffeine.
I think I chose the right one to give up there. *angelic*
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Louche, just punch yourself in the nose daily to start a nosebleed, that should keep your BP down.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I considered leeches, but couldn't find a reliable provider. I need to go and stand in a swamp in America somewhere, probably. In a vague Stand By Me type fashion.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
H1ppy, I have had a horrendous Festival. Everything I backed to win came 2nd, and my e-w bets came 4th. Total carnage. The Gold Cup is a no-bet race for a lot of people; if the favourite stays up it wins, but is too short to back. If Kauto falls, Exotic Dancer will surely win. Otherwise, a fun e-w punt on something to sneak a place- Halcon Generlardais perhaps.
What on earth do you put pepper on? I don't use salt that much either.
I've explained this before- my tastes are extremely simple. I find basic meals such as beans n cheese on toast, jacket potatoes, soup with bread n cheese to be tasty and satisfying. There is just no need for me to scour the supermarket for obscure ingredients, sweat over complex recipes and create mountains of washing up over a dish that isn't going to taste significantly better to me. Doing a degree on top of a full time job made me value my spare time immensely; I begrudge spending it on shopping and cooking.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph: Two chocolate frosted donuts, seven cups of coffee, a half a pack of cigarettes.
You eat cigarettes. You loony!
Three slices of bread, one with jam, one with butter, one with garlic sauce. 1 tomato. Half a glass of apple juice diluted with water. 2 wheetabix with sugar and milk. 1 cup of hot chocolate.
[ 16.03.2007, 06:09: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Ringo's already made that joke and it wasn't particularly funny the first time round. You need Dang for this sort of thing.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Ringo's already made that joke and it wasn't particularly funny the first time round. You need Dang for this sort of thing.
Fuck. Must. Read. Thread.
Oh, and mum's getting a card that doesn't say, "I love you."
[ 16.03.2007, 06:11: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Also I like pepper but I find it adds particularly well to any form of egg. Poached egg on toast with salt and pepper is divine. Heinz tomato soup with cheese bits on top also benefits exponentially from a bit of freshly ground pepper. Cheese, onion and mayonnaise sandwichs also like a bit of pepper on them.
Less relevent to VP, salt and pepper on a plain steak before grilling is good, too.
Pepper: it's great.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
Ever tried garlic pepper?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Garlic pepper sounds gay.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I've been watching the racing in the morning because it's on where Raymond and Frasier should be, so I mechanically turn it on every day, and end up watching John Mcwhatever chatting to equally shouty people about odds and money, and then Irish people in fields talking about horses. I've seen more horse racing this week than I have in the rest of my life put together. They're all Irish aren't they? Or from the north. And the women involved all look a bit like horses.
Anyway, the bookies had an excellent day yesterday, apparently, and today could shape up to be just as good. Sticky ground means that State of Play won't be on top form though Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Garlic pepper sounds gay.
Don't knock it 'til you've tried it. It's alright, actually. Comes quite a close second to proper garlic and gives you an instant taste of 'matured' garlic, as if you've had garlic in the pan for about 20 minutes.
^^
Jesus, I sound like such a wankball
[ 16.03.2007, 06:23: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
You sound gay.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: You sound gay.
I've just spent 5 minutes trying to think of a smart answer to that, bearing in mind I'm in Brighton, but all that comes to mind is Matt Lucas' monstrous Welsh creation and that won't do at all.
I think we need Dang to answer.
Posted by SilverGinger5 (Member # 49) on :
Elephant garlic is awesome. It's massive. Approximately the size of a house and you can roast it and it feeds a small family for 3 weeks.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by SilverGinger5: Elephant garlic is awesome. It's massive. Approximately the size of a house and you can roast it and it feeds a small family for 3 weeks.
Eh?
EDIT: Fuck me, you're right!
[ 16.03.2007, 06:34: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
I don't know much about elephant garlic, but I do know that elephant garlic - allium ampeloprasum - is probably more closely related to the leek than to ordinary garlic. The bulbs are very large and can weigh over a pound. A single clove of elephant garlic can be as large as a whole bulb of ordinary garlic.
In terms of flavour, elephant garlic is to garlic what leeks are to onions. It is much less intense and sweeter. It has been described - rather unkindly - as "garlic for people who don't like garlic".
When buying elephant garlic, follow the same guidelines as ordinary garlic: look for heads that are firm with plenty of dry, papery covering. Elephant garlic is more perishable than ordinary garlic so it doesn't keep as long.
When cooking with elephant garlic, remember that it is not a substitute for ordinary garlic. Instead it is used where a subtle hint of garlic is wanted without overpowering the rest of the food. Elephant garlic is often served raw in salads or sliced and sauted in butter (be careful, it browns very quickly and can turn bitter). It's also frequently used to give a hint of flavour to soups.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
I bet that SG5 is a fucking good cook.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Sometimes I'd quite like to marry SG5.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
yeah me too, then I can eat like a king every day.
Posted by SilverGinger5 (Member # 49) on :
Meh. I'm alright. I try and I enjoy it and I think that's what really matters. Generally it tastes a little better than if you grabbed all the ingredients and blended them and heated it in a microwave but probably not always.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
We could formulate some sort of bigamous cooking based relationship with him? You get Monday to Thursday and I get the weekend? That might work. you have to clean his bath, though. I'm not doing that.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
I'll take Tuesday and Wednesday and in return I'll do the washing up all week.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Cooking's fun, it doesn't have to be all panicky and obsessive. You buy some nice food, have your family and friends sitting around in the kitchen, crack open a few beers, drink some wine, rub the food all over your body, lick each other, toss yourself off into the flames, rinse, repeat. S'nice.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
OK you guys can fight over SG5, I'll take Barry.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Cooking's fun... You ... toss yourself off into the flames, rinse, repeat. S'nice.
So that's 2 orders for bolognese sauce...
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Do you want to lick your family, H1ppy? I just find that....odd.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
[hijack]I signed myself up for a networking meeting this morning. I've just had a confirmation back that I'm the only one attending. How the fuck am I going to network by myself?
God's sake.[/hijack]
Anyway, carry on.
[ 16.03.2007, 06:53: Message edited by: Lickapaw#2 ]
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
I was thinking more of licking Barry, tbh Louche.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
Barry covered in marinade.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
A chili based marinade?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
maybe not chilli on his sensitive bits, that'd be a bit cruel.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
But that was the bit I liked the sound of.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
i may have to rethink my position
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Excuse me, I'm a human being NOT a lump of meat!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Excuse me, I'm a human being NOT a lump of meat!
What sort of marinade would you prefer to be covered in, should the situation arise?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche:
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Excuse me, I'm a human being NOT a lump of meat!
What sort of marinade would you prefer to be covered in, should the situation arise?
Honey and English Mustard.
Posted by Jimmy Big Nuts (Member # 895) on :
marinade him in boiling pitch.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
That's not strictly a marinade.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
Do you mind if I finish you off with some parmesan cheese, Black Mask?
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Parmesan cheese might be a good idea, you know, down there.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I'm going to be doing some "cooking" later- me and my mum are going to make Chocolate Cornflake Cakes. My dad doesn't like chocolate cakes (fucking freak) and my mum doesn't feel well, so they'll all have to be eaten by me.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
oi, hands off, Lickapaw.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by H1ppychick: oi, hands off, Lickapaw.
Sorry, boss.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Is that it, Lickapaw? You're just going to take that on the chin? I mean the prize you're talking here is Black Mask. Black Mask marinated in honey and English mustard with a parmesanny knob. And you're just going to walk away. Because H1ppychick told you to? H1ppychick! Officially one of the wussiest posters on TMO?
You big jessie.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Is that it, Lickapaw? You're just going to take that on the chin? I mean the prize you're talking here is Black Mask. Black Mask marinated in honey and English mustard with a parmesanny knob. And you're just going to walk away. Because H1ppychick told you to? H1ppychick! Officially one of the wussiest posters on TMO?
You big jessie.
Err. Yep.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
lol@me being 'wussy'. if only you knew.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
You're nice though. It stands out when you're one of the few nice people on a board full of cnuts.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
*ahem*
Posted by Octavia (Member # 398) on :
quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: What on earth do you put pepper on? I don't use salt that much either.
Mushrooms. For mushrooms on toast or any other sort. More black pepper than you dreamed possible. Grind about ten times and then ten more. Then you have awesome mushrooms (with a pinch of salt). But they have to be cooked in butter. I tried with St Ivel Gold, once, and ended up with something that looked like raw greased slugs. Tasted like them, too. Other cooking errors include an attempt to replicate brandy butter with vodka and margarine. It doesn't really work.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: herbs gave me a box of rusted / broken kitchen utensils as a gift when I moved out of her spare room. In that box was one knife that could still be used. Had a blade of about four inches. That's the only knife I've used in cooking for the last three years. If she ever finds out what a quality knife it is, she'll be gutted that she threw it out.
If readers didn't know any better, it might sound like I was a curmudgeonly skinflint, rather than the soul of generosity passing you down some family heirlooms.
Posted by Lickapaw#2 (Member # 1049) on :
Octavia, can you offer any advice about using white wine in cooking?
I make a risotto once in a while and by God, aren't they amazing when you use a big, big glass of wine in them?
Except sometimes the wine I use doesn't taste as good - a bit harsh and rubbish.
However last night I made a chicken/leek risotto and the wine taste in it was perfect! Used the rest of the bottle for drinking and it was perfect for that, too.
So are there any rules for choosing wine to cook with?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Lickapaw#2: So are there any rules for choosing wine to cook with?
£7+ : drinking £4-7 : cooking
Posted by froopyscot (Member # 178) on :
A partially serious question for those forumites who have sworn off the juice (that is, ralph): if you've given up drinking, is it cheating to cook with wine? Toeing close to the edge? Or does it make no difference?
Look at me, trying to spark conversation. What's wrong with this picture.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by froopyscot: (that is, ralph): if you've given up drinking, is it cheating to cook with wine?
Yes.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Cobblers. The alcohol will evaporate practically as soon as it hits the warmth of the pan. But the flavour lives on.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Cobblers. The alcohol will evaporate practically as soon as it hits the warmth of the pan. But the flavour lives on.
Yeah...and that's just what an alcoholic needs. The flavor of alcohol on his lips.
eta:
[ 20.03.2007, 12:44: Message edited by: ralph ]
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Cobblers. The alcohol will evaporate practically as soon as it hits the warmth of the pan. But the flavour lives on.
Which quickly triggers off the desire to taste some wine - to experience its flavour in a more intimate sense, just like the good old days... Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Stupid herbs.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
This weekend just gone, I joined my father and mother in declaring my sister's boyfriend a "fucking retard fucking loser retard boy" because he refuses to eat anything cooked in alcohol.
He's not an alcoholic, either. He's never had a drink in his life. Swore against it because his grandad used to pick him up from school, drunk. Also - he won't travel on the tube in London because he "doesn't like it".
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
It would be in your sister's best interests to dump this blatant cunt.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
He sounds like a top bloke to me. It's important to have principles.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I don't like eating food cooked in alcohol, or liqueur chocolates either. Alcohol's for getting pissed on. It tastes and smells horrible.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
He seems to treat my sister quite well, it's true. And I'm looking forward to when we all start spiking his orange juice with vodka. At least, that would be the plan except the fucking wimp won't come round to the family house anymore because he's scared of my dad.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Have you tried, you know.....beating him up?
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Alcohol in food can smell vile going in. But is generally quite nice.
Tonight, I am going to eat prawns out of a pot. Go that for culinary genius right there.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: And I'm looking forward to when we all start spiking his orange juice with vodka.
I hope he gets drunk and decides it would be good fun to beat the piss out of each and every one of you. Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Oh OH! Louche. I made prawn cocktail on Saturday when Misc came over to hear me murder one of our tracks. Sadly, I used a pestle and mortar to crack the pepper into lovely crunchy chunks.
(Prawn)Cock(tail) & Roll!!
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I had an apple for lunch. It was pretty good, considering.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by ralph:
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: And I'm looking forward to when we all start spiking his orange juice with vodka.
I hope he gets drunk and decides it would be good fun to beat the piss out of each and every one of you.
Her last boyfriend used to get quite violent when he was drunk. He beat up my sister a couple of times. My dad's assessment on Sunday was "At least he had a bit of spark about him."
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Prawn cocktails rock. I admire your prawn cocktail making skillz. I won't be making anything half as sophisticated as prawn cocktail, though. I am going to merely add a dollop of mayonnaise to my pot of prawns and eat them in front of the telly. With my fingers.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Observation: prawns and domestic violence do not sit well together.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I'm reminded, by virtue of an obscure train of thought, of the other week when I went to my frined's housewarming bash. I brought along a bottle of tequilla. When I arrived he was like "Ace, you bringed tequilla. Did you bring any lemons?" "no " was my reply. "Oh right, that's ok, I think we've got some Jif lemon in the fridge"
He was absolutely 100% serious when he said this. I actually cried a little.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
Actually my train of thought wasn't really that obscure at all. I was thinking of Louche's prawns, because prawns are tasty and I'm hungry, and I was thinking that prawns are nice if they're done with a bit of lettuce and a splash of lemon juice.
[ 20.03.2007, 13:14: Message edited by: Ringo ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Ringo: I actually cried a little.
Why? Did they spray some in your eye?
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
yeah
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I think I might put lemon juice on my prawns tonight. Prawns and lemon and mayonnaise.
Though if I had small cuts on my fingers, eating lemony prawns might sting.
Oh, the indecision.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
For a post-cocktail dessert, NWoD ate a Fry's Turkish Delight because he thought the 'eastern promise' might improve his voice.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
We really pushed the boat out didn't we? You should have seen Misc's face when asking if I was eating the Turkish Delight pre or post vocals and I challenged him with a confident 'during'
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
