I also liked the Jonesyesque tone of the reader comments:
quote:Another rabies film had the announcer explaining, in a chillingly matter-of-fact voice, that the wages of rabies is "death. Death in a manner that is beyond description." I was dubious, looked it up in an encyclopaedia, and remember being quite impressed that he wasn't exaggerating. Nimrod Gently
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
Nimrod Gently - what an excellent name.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Sounds like a mildly deviant middle-aged sex euphamism.
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
anyone with the name "nimrod" just has to be hung like a carthorse, don't they?
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Excellent.
There really isn't enough rabies around these days. It was all the rage when I was a kid in the 70s. There was a rabies TV drama that was right up there with Day of the Triffids for scaring the shit out of naughty little boys; police stations and doctor's waiting rooms were full of "DANGER YOU ARE GOING TO DIE DROOLING!" literature; hell, I even used to play 'Rabies!' with our golden Labrador, Sana. She was the best-behaved, sweetest-natured dog ever. The only time she was actually any good at 'Rabies!' was when I chased her around the house, climbed into her basket with her and repeatedly poked her in the eye until she finally bit me. "Rabies!" I screamed and then cried to my mum. Surprisingly, unlike the TV drama, mum didn't call the army and ask them to send round a character actor with five Doctor Who appearances to his name to shoot Sana with a rifle.
Instead, she snapped "you probably deserved it" and then stroked Sana's head.
So, yeah, more rabies I reckon.
[ 16.02.2006, 10:53: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
if you get rabies then the last thing that happens to you before you die is you get a massive panhandle.
or is that if you get bitten by a black widow?
no, hang on, that's what happens when you get stang off a killer bee.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Killer bees were everywhere back then, too. And piranhas. You couldn't so much as nip down the paki shop for a Texan in the allegro without bumping into a shoal of piranhas.
I expect D.I. Sam Taylor will be forced to deal with killer bees before the end of this series.
HUNT: What the fuck is that?
SAM: [HOLDING UP THE TUBE] Blisteze. It was in my pocket when...I got it before I was transferred.
HUNT [SNATCHING THE TUBE AND DRINKING ITS CONTENTS DOWN IN ONE]: Hmm. Tastes like a French bird's flaps.
SAM: You idiot! That could have saved her life!
HUNT: Go with your instincts, you fucking twat shit.
A BUZZING NOISE IS HEARD FAR AWAY.
SAM: What's that buzzing? Hello? Hello?
HUNT: Fucking Hell! Bees! Run!
SAM: The buzzing! Someone's using a mobile phone in the hospital! Hello! Stop it! It's interfering with my life support machine. Help! Stop texting your brethren! Please. Stop. Texting. Your. Brethren. Rude. Boy!
SAM: Hello! He's sending a picture message of that nurse's breasts. Please stop him! No mobile phones in the hospital! No phones in the hospital. Help me!
A SWARM OF KILLER BEES APPEARS
HUNT: Run, you daft cnut fuck, before we're all stang to death like a fucking shit.
SAM: Pleeeease!
HUNT PUNCHES SAM IN THE FACE, THROWS HIM OVER ONE SHOULDER AND RUNS. HE BUMPS STRAIGHT INTO CHRIS.
CHRIS: Not that way, Guv. It's full of piranhas.
HUNT: Cnut!
THEY RUN THE OTHER WAY.
HUNT: I love you Sammy. Don't worry, Gene'll protect you.
[ 16.02.2006, 11:40: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
That idea has "legs" Jonesy.
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
ohhh jonesy. I've gone all chairy.
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
my mum knew a man called St. John who went hill- walking in transylvania with the International Dracular Society in 1972 and got bitten by a rabid dog! and had to have about ninetyquinitibillion injections all up his spine, given by hairy- foreheaded transylvanian local doctors. there is more to the story, but i think thats enough to qualify for 'most brilliantly ironic shit holiday story ever' dont you.
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
Brilliant!
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
When I was kid, I thought if you got bit by a rabid animal, you too went rabid, and would run around, foaming at the mouth looking for someone to bite.
Also, I remember a poster that was on the walls of clinics and such. It was a sketched picture of a little girl sitting on the floor, holding her dolly looking all innocent as a MAD and CRAZY dog jumps at her, DROOLING JAWS ready to bite her face off.
The tagline was something like 'Rabies Kills Kids'
Posted by jonesy999 (Member # 5) on :
I remember that one.
You do go mad and foamy at the mouth and bite people if you get rabies, don't you?
Posted by H1ppychick (Member # 529) on :
and you can't have a shower.
Posted by Roy (Member # 705) on :
Won't need this then:
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
*h R*y.
Posted by not... (Member # 25) on :
lol
Posted by Purple Monkey Dishwasher (Member # 867) on :
quote:Originally posted by omikin: if you get rabies then the last thing that happens to you before you die is you get a massive panhandle.
