Hello forum. I am totally going away for two weeks you will be pleased to hear. But the mini-tangent on Dang's language thread - about good books to read - has made me realise that I would love your advice about what to read when I am away. I want to read as much as fucking possible. I have a massive Jilly Cooper novel to read because Jilly Cooper is my secret guilty pleasure, even though I hate the notion of guilty pleasures, it's so borgeois (sp?) right? Like, if you like it, just fucking admit it, you know? So. I have Score! by Jilly Cooper. Whoo! Also, I have Tender is the Night by F.Scott Fitzgerald. What else should I take - ideally something that I can get at a second-hand shop, and ideally something that is kind of vaguely classic but also ACE, because it is fun to read stuff like that on holiday, like when I went to the Lake District and discovered that Madame Bovary was just basically this ace chicklit bodice-ripper. So yeah. The Brothers Karamazov? The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton? Bear in mind that this is me and I can't stand books that are all guys wanking on about a load of bullshit and no women in them or anything. Also recommendations for good modern fiction a la Ali Smith, A.M. Holmes or Mary Gaitskill is always welcome. So yes. Holiday reading. I am going to be on a fucking BEACH, swathed in factor 40 and carrying a parasol. What should I read?
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
I'm sure you don't give two fucks what I think but I'll say it anyway:
You can read books in your brutalist London abode. Don't waste a trip to India lazing on a beach...
Instead, why not take photos of poor brown people for your flickr or something.
Posted by Vogon Poetess (Member # 164) on :
I really really enjoyed The Accidental by Ali Smith recently, but I guess you've read that.
Vanity Fair has good bad women in it.
Edith Wharton's stuff is great, but quite depressing for a holiday read I would say.
Surely in India you should be doing A Passage to India, The Raj Quartet, Heat & Dust, Midnight's Children etc?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I see the board desmugger is broken.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
I recently enjoyed The World According To Garp by John Irving. That was sweet, and funny. I also read The Hotel New Hampshire by him, but I didn't like it so much. You might prefer it, though. I just don't know.
I started Oliver Twist on the train today, because it was the slimmest of the Dickens on the bookshelf that I hadn't already read. Looks pretty decent so far.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: I see the bored des mugger is broken.
"Phew." Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
But what if my pictures of brown children aren't as good as Vikram's? Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
Whatever you decide on make sure it's big and has nice soft pages.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Don't read more than two John Irving's in a row, or you'll want to ram any references to bears or wrestling right back up his japs eye.
Anything by Anne Tyler is good, and is chick-centric. And William Boyd, especially Any Human Heart, which although it's by a man is gr9.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: But what if my pictures of brown children aren't as good as Vikram's?
Fuck them up a bit first, with a pocket knife. Remember - you're aiming to carve out some real emotion from them. If you're not the violent type, just tell them that your camera's worth twenty years of their salary. That should get them looking authentically miserable.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Sorry, London. It's jealousy. Pure and simple.
Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
Last time I was in London I noticed there was a new Shopaholic book out - one where she's had a baby. I gather the distance between the caring and responsible way one might expect a mother to act, were one making a snap judgement based on fifties stereotypes of women's roles in the nuclear family, and the actual hedonistic, slightly self-centred and juvenile behaviour of the 'shopaholic', leads to some humour.
lol.
So, if you're keen to avoid books about men wanking on about nothing, this sounds like it might be more up your street.
[ 02.03.2007, 07:17: Message edited by: Nathan Bleak ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Sorry, London. It's jealousy. Pure and simple.
No, it's fine, I am a disgustingly smug **** . Or do I mean snug?
eta: no, books about babies are rubbish also. Although has anyone read that anti-baby 'We Need to Talk About Kevin' book? What's that like?
[ 02.03.2007, 07:39: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
???i can't do ubb
[ 02.03.2007, 07:19: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by Benny the Ball (Member # 694) on :
we need to talk about kevin is rubbish - i think most people wank on about it because they have only read the blurb, or because the theme is, like, literally, controvershall.
Take "A Fine Balance" that way you can read about india, then look up and see it, until the line between reality and fantasy becomes so blurred that you gain god like powers.
Or take "Quicksilver" by Neal Stephenson - it takes ages to read, so you won't need any other books, and is actually quite good.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
We Need To Talk About Kevin is shit. I didn't even bother to finish it. I got so annoyed with the narrator's whiny stupidly written tone I had to put it down. It was even paint by numbers trying to be shocking rather than actually really shocking.
I have read A Fine Balance and it's excellent, though rather heavy going. Poverty, then some grinding poverty, then some more grinding poverty. Then some disaster and a bit more grinding poverty. With a little bit of love thrown in.
You've read A Suitable Boy haven't you? Of course you have, everyone has.
[ 02.03.2007, 08:23: Message edited by: Louche ]
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I haven't, is it good?
What about The Remains of the Day. Someone was going on to me about that last week.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
I've recently (two days ago) started reading Great Apes, by Will Self. I'm only as far as the fifth chapter, but it's been very enjoyable thus far. Here's a little taster for you. See what you think. ----------
Busner moved over to William and administered a few swingeing blows to his muzzle with his left - and not so arthritic - hand. "Wraaf!" he barked, then sighed, 'Leave your poor aunt alone, can't you see the state of her vagina. She's got quite enough senior males to mate this oestrus, without worrying about you whippersnappers.'
Busner took the briefcase and bestowed a drooly kiss on the little female. He checked his arsehole once more in the hall mirror, then let himself out the front door. -----------
They're chimpanzees, by the way.
[ 02.03.2007, 08:35: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: I haven't, is it good?
I loved it. And if you've got a fortnight on the beach you can really get wired into it. There's a massive sprawl of characters and you end up loving them all and rooting for them all and desperatly hoping that their lives go in the direction you want them to. But don't buy the big version. Buy it in three volumes. Or your hand will hurt after the first two or three hundred pages.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: There's a massive sprawl of characters and you end up loving them all and rooting for them all and desperatly hoping that their lives go in the direction you want them to.
Don't bother with it. They all get washed away in a monsoon and good fucking riddance to them.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: I've recently (two days ago) started reading Great Apes, by Will Self.
Same here. Didn't we also coincide on Dr. Mukti?
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: They're chimpanzees, by the way.
Or are they...?
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Same here. Didn't we also coincide on Dr. Mukti?
Yes we did. Shit - what book are you planning on reading after Great Apes?
[ 02.03.2007, 08:53: Message edited by: Zygote ]
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote:
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: Same here. Didn't we also coincide on Dr. Mukti?
Yes we did. Shit - what book are you planning on reading after Great Apes?
Probably More Joy of Sex.
You?
Posted by Kira (Member # 826) on :
My latest book obsession is for all things Irvine Welsh.
I liked his most recent one 'bedroom secrets of the masterchefs' although its a story mainly focusing on 2 male characters so maybe not quite what you're after?
Its a bit Dorien Grey-esque. I've found a brief plot summary on Amazon incase its something you might like...
The plot itself revolves around Danny Skinner, a handsome 23 year old from (as always) Edinburgh. It focuses on his relationships with women, his mother, the father he never knew and is desperate to find, alcohol and a new work colleague called Brian Kibby who he takes an instant dislike to. In a surreal plot twist, Skinner finds that damage that ought to accrue to his body through his lifestyle is instead inflicted on clean living Kibby. At first Skinner enjoys this power but then finds it to be an albatross round his neck hindering the search for his father. This search takes him from Leith to San Francisco and back to Leith...
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: You?
The Tortilla Curtain, by T.C Boyle. That's if I resist the temptation to read The Godfather.
At least we can sleep safely knowing that there isn't a bizarre book-selection link in the offing.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
quote:Originally posted by Zygote: The Tortilla Curtain
Sounds rude.
Posted by Zygote (Member # 883) on :
quote:Originally posted by Black Mask: Sounds rude.
LOL. 'Apparently' it's about middle-class values, illegal immigration, xenophobia, poverty, and environmental destruction.
Excellent.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: What about The Remains of the Day. Someone was going on to me about that last week.
I don't know if an endorsement from me is worth t'inter it's displayed on, but I think it's brilliant. Most Ishiguro's worth a punt I reckon.
I don't know if you've read any already, but I'm very into Micheal Faber at the moment. Fahrenheit Twins (short sharp stories - beach read last summer), The Crimson Petal and the White (sprawling Victorian thriller), and Under the Skin (weird, brilliant) are all great.
Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
I read the first three Hellboy books in Marseille. They were fandabbidozie. That's yer actual French.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: Micheal Faber - Fahrenheit Twins (short sharp stories - beach read last summer)
Oh, enthusiastically seconded. More people should read this. They're nasty brilliant and excellent and scary and real all simultaneously. The wild cat one and the baby one still pop into my mind from time to time.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
for a bit of a laugh - Are You Experienced by William Sutcliffe
you can pick up any book you need in India so don't worry too much about running around today
Posted by dance margarita (Member # 848) on :
i assume a woman of your taste and distinction has read the pursuit of love and love in a cold climate by nancy mitford? if you say 'no' i will quite simply never forgive you for it.
You know what secluded lives we lead," Jassy had told me when next I was at Alconleigh. "Naturally it's not very difficult to arouse our interest. For example, do you remember that dear old man who came and lectured on the Toll Gates of England and Wales? It was rather tedious, but we liked it—he's coming again, Green Lanes this time.... Well, the Lecherous Lecturer's lecture was duchesses and, of course, one always prefers people to gates. But the fascinating thing was after the lecture he gave us a foretaste of sex. Think what a thrill! He took Linda up onto the roof and did all sorts of blissful things to her; at least she could easily see how they would be blissful with anybody except the Lecturer. And I got some great sexy pinches as he passed the nursery landing when he was on his way down to dine. Do admit, Fanny."
just reading the words 'do admit, fanny' makes me think of verandas, and reclining upon them, and the sipping of something- or- other.
[ 02.03.2007, 10:51: Message edited by: dance margarita ]
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
If you want anti-parenting, Edward St Aubyn's Mother's Milk is a must. Being a 'dad' and all, it brought me out in a cold sweat pretty much every other page - the imagery is terrific and the interior landscapes (five-year-old child, fuck-up father, smother) are every fibre as grotesque as people are in your actual real actual life. Unaccountably, it's also laugh-out-loud funny.
It was preceded by a trilogy (Some Hope) which was reissued when MM was nominated for the Man Booker prize - I haven't read that, but if you wanted something long and immersive you could probably take both. If you just take one, take Mother's Milk.
Though, as Miscellaneous Files said, it seems a bit of a waste to trek out to the Indies and just lie on the beach like some lobotomised middle-class tourist from a Michel Houellebecq novel.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Though, as Miscellaneous Files said, it seems a bit of a waste to trek out to the Indies and just lie on the beach like some lobotomised middle-class tourist from a Michel Houellebecq novel.
Perhaps it's because I haven't had the opportunity to travel very much and would be keen to thoroughly explore my destination, whereas London probably treks across the globe without a second thought (other than which books to take, natch). If that's the case then I suppose it might be understandable that she considers the world a bit meh.
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
quote:Originally posted by Nathan Bleak: Last time I was in London I noticed there was a new Shopaholic book out - one where she's had a baby. I gather the distance between the caring and responsible way one might expect a mother to act, were one making a snap judgement based on fifties stereotypes of women's roles in the nuclear family, and the actual hedonistic, slightly self-centred and juvenile behaviour of the 'shopaholic', leads to some humour.
lol.
So, if you're keen to avoid books about men wanking on about nothing, this sounds like it might be more up your street.
If London doesn't like books about babies either, Kinsella's earlier trilogy (Confessions, Manhattan, Knot) is a witty dissection of female consumerism, sustained over an arc that sees protagonist Bloomwood going through some painful, self-reflective changes. It's like Vanity Fair or something, probably.
Otherwise, the most recent Jack Reacher novel is out in paperback (£3.50 at WWW.H.Smiths until Monday) and it doesn't have any men wanking in it. Too, it will last for a long, long flight.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
That's a lot of suppositions there. Why would you assume I travel the world all the time? I am not Vikram. I earn probably less than you. Why do you assume that I am not going to go and see things when I'm away? It is possible to read on planes and trains and stuff you know. I know we're going on some massive train journey that lasts 9 hours, to see a place called Hampi. I like reading and holidays are a chance to indulge an a massive reading-fest. I'm not saying I'm going to just fry and read fry and read fry and read. I'm ginger ffs. I don't like the sun.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: So yes. Holiday reading. I am going to be on a fucking BEACH, swathed in factor 40 and carrying a parasol. What should I read?
sorta indicates you're having a beach hol you know?
i've never been to goa or hampi so no hints or tips innit. have fun
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
But that is not ALL I am going to do, just part of it! And for that part I want books. Meh.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
nothing wrong with just soaking up some sun for a couple of weeks. you don't need to pretend!
Posted by wonderstarr (Member # 1158) on :
Why not buy a Jilly Cooper and F Scott Fitzgerald off Amazon. Then a computer will suggest books to you that it thinks you'll like, and there will be no reason to deal with disappointing human beings; or at least, no point in getting frustrated with the response.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
because i have to go tomorrow so there wasn't enough time to go on amazon Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Have a safe and enjoyable trip, London. You'll be missed.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
wHy iS eVeryOne h8tIng oN meEEEEE?????????????
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
ralph was nice to you and you just kick him in the face.
that's why Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I thought he was being sarcastic? You know, like, yeah, have FUN London! You'll be MISSED - NOT!!!!!
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I like people who kick ralph in the face.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
poor ralph
stupid london Posted by Black Mask (Member # 185) on :
That looks like a lot of fun.
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
lots of weed
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
Edited. London has already gone.
[ 03.03.2007, 10:21: Message edited by: sam ]
Posted by vikram (Member # 98) on :
but they sell books in india - maybe she will buy one of your recommendations there!
Posted by sam (Member # 884) on :
quote:Originally posted by vikram: but they sell books in india - maybe she will buy one of your recommendations there!
This is true. But will she bother logging into the net? I never do when I am on holiday, in spite of intial withdrawal symptoms. I work very hard at making myself switch off and relax!
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I like people who kick ralph in the face.
****
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Poor ralph.
Posted by ralph (Member # 773) on :
Thanks man. And for the record London, I was being sincere. I won't make that mistake again. Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: because i have to go tomorrow so there wasn't enough time to go on amazon
TMO - not just there for the nasty things in life - it's also there for if you don't have time to go on Amazon. Posted by Nathan Bleak (Member # 1040) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: If you want anti-parenting, Edward St Aubyn's Mother's Milk is a must. Being a 'dad' and all, it brought me out in a cold sweat pretty much every other page - the imagery is terrific and the interior landscapes (five-year-old child, fuck-up father, smother) are every fibre as grotesque as people are in your actual real actual life. Unaccountably, it's also laugh-out-loud funny.
I started reading this on the train and it's pretty awful so far. The imagery is strong, that's true, but the characters are rubbish, and the exposition surrounding them is really clumsily handled. The dialogue is really hamfisted as well, to the point of being almost unreadable. I understand the idea of taking a potshot at real-life solipsistic wankers dulled by the cosy environment of 21st Century Britain, but it's not sharp, just thudding, dully observed. The sort of thing people on here come up with in about a second and a half if they want a short-hand for dreary wankers wiht no inner life: "I looked at some more flats recently. London property is completely out of control". Lazy and obvious, basically. The imagery is really good, though, and I've only just started so it might improve, but I have to say that if I were looking for a short hand for intellectually bereft parents striving and failing to be of middling intelligence, I'd stick a copy of Mother's Milk in their hands and have them describe it as 'good'.
On the plus side it has a big font, it's double spaced and only a couple of hundred pages. So it may be a load of dreadful shit, but not for long.
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