So the gym – for those who can't be bothered trawling through the confession thread, I mentioned that I'd been spending more time in a certain central London gym, with some hopelessly liberated ladies who aren't averse to helping each other moisturise. Last week I was lying down in the sauna semi naked and dripping with sweat with two other girls who were also semi naked and dripping with sweat, and having a conversation about cock (they were having the conversation, not me, although I couldn't help but overhear). After they left, I lay in the sauna for a while and looked out through the big glass doors onto the changing rooms, where naked ladies chatted and moisturised and wandered about with barely a towel to cover their modesty, if that.
As I was lying there, I began to think a little bit about why I was so fascinated by this idea of girls being unashamedly naked together. I've said it before, but all-girl private schools are breeding grounds for body issues, and any kind of changing room action happened in the furthest corner away from everybody else, under a towel with a series of complicated movements designed not to display any skin below the neck or above the knee. My Uni gym was near the house, so I used to go home to shower, and not being a big fan of swimming (bor-ing) I've not spent much time in all female changing rooms. I like girly bathroom chat in clubs, watching different faces apply makeup, adjust clothing, giggle and fight all together, that's great, but to be honest…..
...there just aren't enough tits in it.
The upshot of this is, I'm starting to feel a little bit like Tom Green's character in Road Trip – this is my fantasy. Is it actually happening, or is it just because I've never really seen it before? There is a definite sexual something in the air, being surrounded by that many different bodies and that much moisturiser, but I'm not sure if it's only me who feels it – like a new sexual awakening after years of P.E. lesson repression. Maybe I’m known in the changing room as "that creepy girl who looks at everybody's tits" (I do). Or maybe they’re looking back at me thinking, "wow, she looks like a nice person. Maybe we could be friends. She has really pretty tits too. Maybe we could get to know each other a bit better in the sauna…". Sigh…
I’m not sure what the question is, as it could range from the banal ("Do you think I’m a lesbian?") to the unanswerable ("Anyone else feel like a 12-year-old boy sometimes?") to the extreme ("does anyone here have great tits and fancy getting it on in a sauna?").
Because it's Friday, I just want details of what you’ve been up to sexually at the moment. London is dreaming about Seth Green. Uber fancies her boss and the office boy. I am being looked after very well at home and lusting after girls in saunas. Bandy's just fine .
So what about the rest of you? How's it going? Getting any, not getting any? Thinking dirty thoughts? Thinking you might have a headache coming on?
Where are your sexual heads right now?
[ 05.12.2003, 06:34: Message edited by: scrawny ]
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by scrawny: Where are your sexual heads right now?
Planning on shagging in every state en-route between California and Illinois.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
Did Bandy put you up to this? I mean did you lose a bet or something? Or are you trying to recreate that magickal Horny Friday (was it a friday?) when everyone got hugely turned on..?
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Planning on shagging in every state en-route between California and Illinois.
What about the train ride to Madrid and the flight from Chicago to London? I´m feeling a bit deprived here.
edit: deprived and depraved?
[ 05.12.2003, 05:34: Message edited by: Grianagh ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quick, someone call the couple-police! Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
My sex is another two weeks and a day away, and fuck yes I am counting. I just hope the lady is well rested by the time I get there.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Sorry everyone.
Scrawny: yes, you're a lesbian. Make Bandy dress up like a girl. He'd like that. Posted by Meg (Member # 444) on :
My sexual head is telling me that I should enjoy every moment of the current squeeze, before we inevitably realise that it's not going to work out.
To that end, I intend on flirting recklessly with everyone vaguely good looking and male over the coming weeks and see how it goes.
That, and I've been having lots of threesome dreams recently, which is surreal.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I've pretty much forgotten what sex is like, how to initiate it and what i should be doing when it gets underway. I don't know why this has happened, or what to do about it.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: quick, someone call the couple-police!
Oh come on. If I start a thread about sex and mention Bandy (even in 3 words) somebody calls those bastard couple police. If I start a thread about sex and don't mention bandy, everybody assumes I'm cheating on him or that we broke up, and either way feels compelled to drag him into the discussion within three posts anyway.
Misc, I started that thread too I think. I'm not trying to give everyone the horn, although I realise this now seems to be coming across as a bizarre attempt to spice up my own lovelife. You can see it now, can't you, the excited little look on Bandy's face as I sit on his lap reading through the details of forite's sex lives, possibly even taking them into the bedroom later, building it up with details of Uber, cooling it off with Thorn, building it up again with London and Meg, and finally, just at the point of orgasm, breathing Mart's name into his ear and watching as his face contracts into spasms of ecstasy.
That is not what this is. I am at work. I am bored. I would like to hear about sex, if possible.
Is that so much to ask?
[ 05.12.2003, 06:04: Message edited by: scrawny ]
Posted by Darryn.R (Member # 1) on :
Scrawny, I think perhaps she meant Mart and Grianagh when Uber said quick, someone call the couple-police!..
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by scrawny: You can see it now, can't you, the excited little look on Bandy's face as I sit on his lap reading through the details of forite's sex lives, possibly even taking them into the bedroom later, building it up with details of Uber, cooling it off with Thorn, building it up again with London and Meg, and finally, just at the point of orgasm, breathing Mart's name into his ear and watching as his face contracts into spasms of ecstasy.
Back in a sec. Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
quote:Originally posted by Darryn.R: Scrawny, I think perhaps she meant Mart and Grianagh when Uber said quick, someone call the couple-police!..
Oooh, are they together? I know nothing
Sorry to everyone. How embarassing, flouncing around going "will everybody just leave us alone" when she was actually referring to someone else. I forgot that we were old news.
[ 05.12.2003, 06:13: Message edited by: scrawny ]
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by scrawny: "Anyone else feel like a 12-year-old boy sometimes?"
I sometimes feel like a twelve year old boy. Well, maybe thirteen. Especially when I am at the salon and my stylist is languidly trailing her fingers through my hair- smiling at me in the mirror - I can't help but smile back, curious of her thoughts...and noticing her noticing my curiousity - then I blush and ask 'How´s the boyfriend?'.
This same adolescent boy behaviour rears its hormonal head when I visit my local day spa. On Halloween, arriving at my appointment for the 'usual' body treatments, my Esthetician pranced out dressed up as 'Sexy Nurse' in a short white vinyl dress complete with lacey garters and stockings. (Not fabricated, I called mart right afterwards - had to tell someone!) Her breasts literally overflowing the corset she apparently wore for 'proprietys sake'. She handed me the little spa towel to change into and I looked at the bed I was to lie down on, back at her and what do you think I said at that moment? 'Cute costume, aren´t you freezing? Maybe you should put on a jacket- er here'
Smooooth. blushThank the diety I don't have a penis as I would most likely walk around with an obvious erection.
Of course, I have admitted bi-sexual tendencies. If snogging cute girls at random is a tendency. hmmm..better call my therapist and check that one out.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I had that dream about Seth Green in September.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
Sorry. God, everyone, I'm so sorry.
So what are you up to now then?
Posted by Meg (Member # 444) on :
My sexual head has just been sent into a spin, having seen one of the sexah charge nurses in the dept in own clothes, which consisted of jeans providing ample cock watch opportunities, and a t-shirt that just ocassionally revealed his stomach, and always revealed his lil perky nipples. And he's ginger. Oh my.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
Thorn, look, I'm trying to help you.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
lol i forgot that i changed my name to bijoux alig on my word user profile. so this guy was like 'who's bijoux? she's got this document locked for editing???'and i was like, um... um... i think... it might... be me. and he was like, why bijoux, and i'm like, she's this new york club child who lost her virginity to evan dando when she was 13 and once chopped a man's finger off in a nightclub with a cigar chopper... and michael alig ran all these clubs in nyc and rah rah... plus i was looking at this magazine for trannies and the editor was called 'bijoux la la rue' and i wanted to think of the most decadent name i could come up with and... *blush*.... room goes quiet... amp's face burns...roll on 5pm, please please.
[ 05.12.2003, 06:27: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
?
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
!
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by scrawny: Thorn, look, I'm trying to help you.
Erm. Thanks, I think.
Posted by Sidney (Member # 399) on :
I am constantly plagued by sexual thoughts at the moment. This is a new development for me, which I have tried attributing to my age and reaching that 'laydeez sexual peak' that you read about so much in Cosmo/Marie Claire etc. Previously, I scoffed at the idea but now I have found myself in a swirl of hormonal lusting. In short, I'm constantly gagging for it and J thinks it's every Christmas he's ever had rolled into one.
At home I'm on sexual eggshells, waiting for the kids to be sufficiently out of the way, so that I don't deeply traumatise them by leaping on their father right in front of them. We have a lock on our bedroom door but you could set a clock by the amount of time it takes for one of the children to start knocking on it, shouting things like "Why is your door locked? What are you doing? Can I come in? Why not?" Luckily, they have a very lovely nan, who loves having them to stay overnight every Saturday. So now, Saturday night is our night. J will drive the children to his mum's house whilst I begin a ritual of preparation and heightened expectation. I shower and put ylang ylang cream all over my body. I'll put my Agent Provocateur underwear on with some stockings. I'll wear some make up, including that red lip gloss he really, really likes. I'll make sure that the living room and the bedroom are set for the occasion. I'll get some wine from the fridge. Then I wait for him to come home.
This is all very well and good but obviously, we don't get to do this every day (much to my disappointment). I suppose that if we did, it would begin to lose its potency and become routine, like every other thing we do regularly. And so the hormones and the lusting creep back. I find myself on trains, looking at the people boarding. If I spot a hott boy, I can't stop myself staring and mentally willing him to sit by me. They rarely do. Apart from one occasion, where a super hott boy sat right next to me, all the way to London. He did that delicious thing that men with long legs sometimes do, where they slink down in their seats and stretch their legs right out and the waist of their jeans rides slowly downwards, exposing a bit of midriff and a line of downy hair flowing softly down to the top of slightly exposed boxers. He had beautiful olive skin and chocolate coloured hair. I wanted his thigh to brush against mine and I wanted to kiss his lower abdomen and follow that trail of downy hair with my tongue. Obviously, neither of those things happened - instead, I tried my hardest to concentrate on my book and not breathe too heavily.
Now it's beginning to invade my dreams. I've posted before about the 'powerful physical effect' that my dreams sometime have on me. I usually dream about J and I together. However lately, all sorts of people have started popping up in my dreams. There was the girl in Oasis, whose hand lingered on mine a little longer than strictly necessary when she gave me my change. She appeared in a dream wearing nothing more than a pair of knickers. There was Joaquin Phoenix, who kept undressing me and licking my neck, whilst I pretended to run away. And last night it was Bamba, who wrapped us both up in a blanket and we cuddled and cuddled. He kept trying to kiss me but I wouldn't let him because I hadn't brushed my teeth.
It's starting to drive me slowly insane. I don't know whether to revel in this new found libido or to hope that my hormones settle back down to normal soon. And Bamba, I'm really sorry if I offend you with this post.
Posted by charrudeboi (Member # 555) on :
My sexual head seems to have one concurrent thought. I feel like i'm missing out on something that most people i know have indulged in. I see Ringo's tag and hear my mates go on about it but alas I still havent managed to find the poop shoot. It's not really any biggie although i do feel like im not in the 'gang'. I have tried with a couple of exes but it always end in screams of pain. NWOD has offered a little sachet of "liquid silk" to put in my wallet but i declined mainly because my current girlfriend is a one way street kinda girl. Although i feel something is amiss i am more than happy not experiencing the joys of bum sex. Hey maybe my girly will get real drunk and more succeptable to anal intrusion, i'll keep you posted. thanks for your time
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
NWOD - for all your sexual needs.
Posted by Meg (Member # 444) on :
I was in the middle of the washing up the other night, when the boy turned up earlier than expected, so I let him in, with my marigold clad hands and went back to the sink. He wandered in, chit chatting away, and then he came and stood behind me, really close, but not quite touching me. I could feel his hot breath on my neck, and his hands slipped round onto my hips, just resting there, ever so slightly pulling me back towards him. He started kissing the back of my neck, sending prickles through my whole body and making my arms shiver.
Then he disappeared, turned the tv on and went for a shower. It doesn't end quite so well really, does it?
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by Sidney: And Bamba, I'm really sorry if I offend you with this post.
If there's anything offensive in that post then I certainly can't see it. Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by charrudeboi: "liquid silk"
To quote Gemini, good grief.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by Meg: I was in the middle of the washing up the other night, when the boy turned up earlier than expected, so I let him in, with my marigold clad hands and went back to the sink. He wandered in, chit chatting away, and then he came and stood behind me, really close, but not quite touching me. I could feel his hot breath on my neck, and his hands slipped round onto my hips, just resting there, ever so slightly pulling me back towards him. He started kissing the back of my neck, sending prickles through my whole body and making my arms shiver.
I did this once to Mrs B. During a casual conversation in the kitchen I moved my hands round from behind her, parted her dressing gown and slid my fingers between her legs with no warning. She came in about three seconds flat and I had to hold her up afterwards as her legs just about gave way.
Reading that back it would appear to be a pointlessly boasting post but I offer it only as a follow up tip to Meg's story rather than any kind of 'big up' of my sexual prowess.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by charrudeboi: "liquid silk"
I'm pretty sure that's a fabric conditioner isn't it?
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: I did this once to Mrs B. During a casual conversation in the kitchen I moved my hands round from behind her, parted her dressing gown and slid my fingers between her legs with no warning. She came in about three seconds flat and I had to hold her up afterwards as her legs just about gave way.
Much better. Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Oh look this is silly. I'm sat here kind of waiting around to go and catch a train, trying to finish an editorial task for the job I've been applying for, about to embark on an adventure over to the other side of the world, with a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity of driving all the way across the States, and yet here I am wondering if I can reach 3,000 posts before I leave, and knowing that Grianagh is sat behind me looking all cute and shaggable, and also reading this thread, and remembering her tell me the story of the beauty-parlour girl in her white vinyl nurse's uniform, and imagining Grianagh getting all desky with her hott lezbo thoughts, and then the song Fever just came on, and she turns round and snogs me really passionately and whispers "I love this song" as we snog in time to the fingerclicks and Peggy Lee's velvet tones, and then I start thinking about whether we can actually shag on the train up to Madrid (doubtful, if I'm honest; I'm rubbish at sex in cramped, standing-up kinda places).
So. That's where my sexual head is.
And now Wayne Newton's singing Danke Schöen, which has me thinking about Ferris, which has stopped me thinking about sex altogether*.
*What do you people think about at those times when you need to "hold on for a bit longer" or avoid a getting a stiffy, or whatever? And didn't we in fact once have a thread about this? I always used to think of Spiderman, but I have no idea why - he's not unsexy, or even sexless. Always managed to harsh my boner, though, or make me last that bit longer. Good old Spidey.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Bamba.
This has not helped me, or my chair cushion. I am, like Sidney, in a permanent state of horn. I haven't done sex since Saturday, and am frankly gagging for it. I can hardly wait until I get to toy-boy's house this evening, red wine in hand. Yet I find it so hard to initiate seduction. He's very good at it, can casually suggest a quick shag while the rice is boiling in a way that is irresistable. But I can't do it. Maybe I'm afraid he'll say no. Even when getting down to it, I can't say what I want. It's odd, considering I'm so mouthy generally. Any tips girls?
As for gyms/changing rooms/lezzing, I am becoming increasingly fascinated by tits. A girl was bending over in front of me the other day, v-neck falling forwards, breasts cradled fondly by her bra. I almost had to chop my hands off to stop myself running my finger inside the cups, just snagging the nipple as I passed.
Lord. This hasn't helped. I'm going to join Mart in the disabled khazi.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: She came in about three seconds flat and I had to hold her up afterwards as her legs just about gave way.
This sort of thing happened to me once. Me and a girlfriend were enjoying a leisurely, semi-tantric, late-night session once when I suddenly got the urge to spank her. Not only the urge but I actually did it, a really juicy slap. She immediately went into overdrive and yelled out, "More!" So I did, and she had the most incredible come I've ever seen in a girl.
Thing is, though, it's not the sort of thing that polite people discuss and we never said, "Next time I want you to tie me up," or "Let's play teacher and schoolgirl" or anything. It was just an amazing one off. Well, I'd spank her from time to time afterwards but it wasn't a major part of our bedtime routine. That first time was quite an experience though.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
All this has just reminded me that things have been rather hott around my workplace in the last couple of days. Wednesday lunch time was marked by some of the girls I work with going vibrator shopping at Ann Summers which mean the afternoon flew by, filled as it was with double entendres and childish giggling. Last night's trip to the pub also ended in chat about porn, g-spot's, orgasming through nipple-sucking alone and the firmness of breasts vs their size. Is it some subtle terrorist plot? Something in the water designed to slowly turn the entire country into a helplessly-fornicating pushover for the invading army? I think we should be told.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: This has not helped me. I am, like Sidney, in a permanent state of horn. I haven't done sex since Saturday, and am frankly gagging for it
I haven't done sex in 5 (Non)FUCKING WEEKS and have at least two more weeks and a day to go. I am no longer merely gagging for it, but have reached a whole new level whereby every time by brain switches from the task in hand (fnar) it goes directly to sex without passing go or collecting £200. I am almost priapic.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
This thread is arousing in the extreme.
Every night for the past two weeks, myself and Kellifer have smoked a joint and then had sex. This is... er... more than usual... It just seems to have that effect.
Our bed is a little unstable, so the sofa has become the location of choice. The window next to it is covered by a bamboo blind. A couple of days ago as I was returning home from work, I noticed that with a light on inside the room, you can see in very clearly. Oh dear. There are flats opposite with a rather direct line of sight. Oh dear.
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Even when getting down to it, I can't say what I want. It's odd, considering I'm so mouthy generally. Any tips girls?
I am the same way - nice southern upbringing - has me,at first, shy as hell. There was a time in my life that I played by the 'rules' of society and waited for the guy/girl to initiate intimate contact. Kicked that habit a few years back. I have to say I am more of a 'leaning over and asking 'ready for that kiss now?' with a cheeky grin' type of gal. Still can´t do sexy. Still can´t do diva. I am the slightly repressed girl next door on a snogging fest. When you find out how to jump a guy and not turn three shades of crimson, lemme know?
Posted by Meg (Member # 444) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: There are flats opposite with a rather direct line of sight. Oh dear.
I realised that the bamboo blind in the kitchen, the slightly-too-short and not quite meeting in the middle curtains in the living rom, the distinct lack of curtain at all in the other living room window, have all probably resulted in the people around the rest of the estate catching the odd glance of rhythmically moving flesh. Add to that the fact that there's regularly a different car outside my flat, the neighbourhood has probably made a reasonable assumption about me. Oh dear indeed.
Still, knowing that there's a possibility someone can see in does nothing to harm the excitment.
Posted by charrudeboi (Member # 555) on :
you get it free from the clap clinics round town although i've never had the guts to pick some up for myself.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by Grianagh: nice southern upbringing
There are girls without this handicap though. I remember a guy I worked with once telling us about his evening out the night before. He'd been with some mates to a nightclub and one of the other chaps had got off with a girl and was snogging her on the seat next to my workmate. He was getting a bit pissed off with his lack of fortune when the girl reached round, put her hand down the front of his trousers and started rubbing his cock, all the while still snogging his mate.
I don't meet those sort of girls, and they don't seem to post on here either. No hands free I suppose.
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
Misc, I loved the "Girl Who Smokes" fantasy.
(if you don't remember, there's a "girl who smokes" living across the way from Misc+Kel's flat. she just comes out onto her balcony, which can be seen from their front room, smokes a cigarette, in that sexy way that a chick on her own on a blacony smoking a cigarette naturally has, then goes back inside again. desk to the max.)
Posted by Amy (Member # 11) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: *What do you people think about at those times when you need to "hold on for a bit longer" or avoid a getting a stiffy, or whatever?
This reminds me of a Modest Mouse song:
All Nite Diner
Yeah, yes, yes Have I told ya You could really get it on? I was at an all night diner The sign said, "Triple X" But they were talking about root beer I'm just sitting down Thinking about nothing Looking at the thin air Breathing up the oxygen Have I told ya You could really get it on? A guy comes up, looking pretty 8-ball Snaggletooth smile, sits down at my table Puts his arm around me, starts to share his information He said, he said, he said [x4] this is what he said "I have sex, I'm always thinking about the pavement So I can avoid premature ejaculation" I got up, remembering to thank him Better things to do so I'll start drinking I'm in Tahoka, now I'm gonna hook up With the parties, unfortunately No one has any ideas, damn Have I told ya You could really get it on?
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
There are many captions I could insert here, but for once I'm being restrained.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
What you need, ladies, is a boy who is so unbelievably rubbish (pre-bandy) at picking up any signs whatsoever that you might be interested in having a little kiss, let alone being slapped around and shagged hard in public wearing bondage gear, that you just get over your shyness in the name of frustration. I used to be like that, until I realised that subtle strokes on the wrist were not going to cut it. Now it's more along the lines of looking up from the TV and saying, "Get your cock out then..."
[ 05.12.2003, 07:49: Message edited by: scrawny ]
Posted by Meg (Member # 444) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: No hands free girl
That just reminded me, for some reason, of a rather sexy and strange taxi journey I had a few years ago. I'd been out drinking with a few friends and the five of us grabbed a black cab home, I jumped in first, so one of my friends was next to me, and one was in front of me. Both of them had been flirting with me quite a lot that evening, and it was very 'cosy' in the taxi, to say the least. The guy next to me had his arm round me, inside my coat, and was clearly feeling up my right breast, while at the same time the guy in front of me was leaning forward and had his hand running up and down the inside of my leg. It was and I really must stop thinking about sex and do some work.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
I did not get mine from the clap-clinique. The local gay pub hands them out like after dinner mints. I told Char that if he did take some off me, to not sit on his wallet or he would glide off of the chair and onto the floor like his bones had been reduced to jelly.
My sexual thoughts right now are;
Blinfolded, asphyxiated lovely with a choker wrapped tightly around my right fist. My hand is slapping both cheekies from right to left and I am thrusting so quickly my cheeks are clapping a second out of time. Liquid silk is turning cold as it reaches my knee. Their head is banging violently against the steel headboard and the posters are creeking orgasmic joy.
*ahem*
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I think everyone else should post some more about sex.
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Shaved heads. Shaved heads are mmyeah. Just a thin film of tough dark bristles on the head, enough to tingle your skin as you push your fingers across, like rubbing your palm with a nailbrush. I have been on the lookout for boys with shaved heads. They are surprisingly rare.
There was one on tv. The programme was a drama about lesbians who write. Lesbians are nice, but not as nice as boys with shaved heads. He had a hairy chest as well as a shaved head. Hairy chests are mmyeah also. The effect of a shaved-head combined with an unshaved chest is the perfect boy for fucking. I felt my lips part and the cold air made my tongue shift. The lesbian wanted to have sex with the shaved-headed boy, and they were naked under the covers, but she decided she couldn't go through. So the shaved-headed boy asked if he could look at her face and wank himself off. And I thought, This was not supposed to happen. I was supposed to be watching lesbians and feeling clean and focused and not-horny. But now a shaved-headed boy was making fist-shaped jabs against the covers, and his head was tilting back and his mouth was opening and his tongue tip, his tongue tip, was, glinting -
Wow. I hadn't realised boys with shaved heads and hairy chests were so desirable. I have been wondering if there are any shaved-headed boys on TMO. I think there are none.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I've got nothing to say on the subject of sex.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Gracious. I'm seriously considering my first-ever non-excretory work toilet visit.
Does anyone want to hear my lezzy seduction story?
Posted by Fionnula the Cooler (Member # 453) on :
Yes.
Posted by charrudeboi (Member # 555) on :
can you add pictures with your story please
[ 05.12.2003, 08:08: Message edited by: charrudeboi ]
Posted by discodamage (Member # 66) on :
i spent three days sharing a double bed with a very hott german chick last week- for budgetary reasons, natch. it was a very big bed but even so i would wake up in the morning hanging onto to the mattress in an attempt not to make any physical contact with her. five weeks of enforced celibacy, followed by three fan-cooled stormy nights tussling for sheet space with a 5"11 blonde chick with the most lovely round bottom in christendom... gaaaarggghhh. help me jeebus.
i would like to contribute to this thread but am currently reading the golden notebook by doris lessing, which is not conducive to deskiness. it is making me think, thank god men have got better since 1962. also i am in an internet cafe and i have to catch a bus in twenty minutes. if i miss this bus because of a damn chisky thread...i will get you, scrawny.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: I think everyone else should post some more about sex.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
I don't mean 'everyone else apart from Mikee TeeVee'. I just mean, everyone.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
quote:Originally posted by hott boys: begging.
OK then. Picture the scene. Civilised dinner party for four in architect-re-modelled central London flat, bucket-sized glasses of red wine, jolly conversation about the evil of Starbucks. Certain stimulants are offered. The gentlemen retire to the kitchen, at one end of the room, to talk about each other. The lady of the house engages me in conversation. she admires my bracelet, brushing the inside of my wrist. She leans in, quite close, and looks at me, too long. Good herbs puts this down to cultural differences - she is American after all. Bad herbs feels a tightening in the chest, inside and out. Somehow we're on the sofa. The boys are still in the kitchen, positioned so neither can see the sofa. Her hand is on my back, where my top departs from my skirt. Her face is in front of mine, eyes dark. 'Have you ever been kissed by a woman before?' 'Er...' '*'. My bra is being admired. She asks me to go next door - the bedroom. How on earth did I get here? Have I been put under a spell? 'W-what about the boys?' The spell is broken.
Cracking shag when I got fella home.
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
I can't believe you didn't do it.
Arrange to meet up with her again.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
- that story got me so pumped, I headbutted my co-worker and we both screamed! Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Six weeks ago I worked for a wee private company employing four women and run by a balding, paunchy, sixty year old bloke.
For the last five weeks I have worked for a company with roughly 200 employees, roughly fifty fifty male/female. Said company has no dress down policy, so everyone comes to work in a suit.
I spent the first week of this job in a haze of hormones. Proximity to all those men, often my age, often with cute spiky boy haircuts. I'd sit in meetings staring at fair-haired forearms emerging from short sleeved shirts. That sheerly masculine curve of finger, the implicit strength in male hands. I'd be looking through thin white shirts for the suggestion of a pink and perky man-nipple, working out profusion or otherwise of chest hair. Watching tight, hard little arses in Marks and Spencer suits lean over the coffee machine. I was fascinated by thighs which filled out dark trousers, the movement of muscle required to swing out on a swingy out chair.
To be succinct, I have had the raging horn every day in this job and am locked into a fantastic fascination with the prevalence of nice bits on the male anatomy.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Honestly, I finish work at 2 and by the time I get to turning tmo back on it seems as if tmo has truly been turned on! *sigh* and lol@scrawny for thinking I was mentioning the couple-police in relation to her and as if I wouldn't have been doing it ironically anyway Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
I know, I know. I am so behind.
So who's this bird Mart's been shagging then? Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Yeah. He's gone now, so we can talk about him. She appears to be American. And ginner.
Bamba - can you post some more of your filth? I'm going to go on an exercise bike shortly, and your story, plus a little judicious leaning forward, should make the time just fly by.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
He met her on Friendster which was thanks to meeeeeee and he's going to get me a big handful of fanzines from America as a thank you present! He doesn't know this yet.
Posted by 69 Comeback Elvis (Member # 9) on :
quote:Originally posted by Dr. Benway: - that story got me so pumped, I headbutted my co-worker and we both screamed!
LOL-I-POP
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
Sex tips for girls Ladies, are you backwards about coming forwards? Want to make the first move but don't know how? Want the tips to find out how to flip his switch before he makes the move on you? There is only one simple fact that you need to remember. [gratuitous male objectification] If you're alone and together, he probably wants it. [/gratuitous male objectification]
A couple of pointers:
1. Follow through with a theme. Scenario number one: if you are a girl around town with business cards always carry them with you. It makes it so much easier when doing the swapping numbers/emails thang. If you're interested quite early on then don't waste time. When the subject of what you do for work comes up, talk about it enthusiastically and then say something along the lines of "Would it be cheeky if I gave you my card?" Whilst smiling saucily, and then quickly follow it up with "Incase you ever want to have a massage/need a secretary/want a writer/need a website built/insert relevant work related comment." Later, if its going well you can then come back with "Would it be cheeky if I gave you a kiss?" and if its going even better then try "Would it be cheeky if I took you to bed now?" You see where I'm going with that one? The beauty is that if at the first offering of the card, if he's not interested you can back out fairly easily by just pretending that you're a professional business woman who was just networking.
2. Scenario number two: You know he's interested, he knows you're interested. You've done the drinks, you're both nicely drunk, you're back at his place but he's faffing. While he's upstairs in his room changing the sheets on the bed (or whatever) come upstairs, remove all your clothes, stand there in your AP bra, best pants and hold-ups and say "Check this out!" If he doesn't respond to that then just laugh manically and pretend to pass out on the bed and sleep til morning when you can mumble apologies about being really drunk and make a hasty exit.
That's all for now ladies but be sure to tune in for next weeks edition on how to ask for kinky things when in a long term relationship! Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Bamba - can you post some more of your filth? I'm going to go on an exercise bike shortly, and your story, plus a little judicious leaning forward, should make the time just fly by.
I don't know that there's anything else I can say about that particular incident. I could dredge my memory for other erotic happenings but I seem to have done quite well so far and I know I'd only go and ruin it by posting something which inadvertently harshed everyone's boner. Boners can be fickle like that.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: I haven't done sex in 5 (Non)FUCKING WEEKS and have at least two more weeks and a day to go. I am no longer merely gagging for it, but have reached a whole new level whereby every time by brain switches from the task in hand (fnar) it goes directly to sex without passing go or collecting £200. I am almost priapic.
Once I didn't do sex for 7 weeks - my longest drought EVA. I had serious trench foot by the end of it!
I have to go out now. This is a good thing I believe.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick:
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: I haven't done sex in 5 (Non)FUCKING WEEKS and have at least two more weeks and a day to go. I am no longer merely gagging for it, but have reached a whole new level whereby every time by brain switches from the task in hand (fnar) it goes directly to sex without passing go or collecting £200. I am almost priapic.
Once I didn't do sex for 7 weeks - my longest drought EVA. I had serious trench foot by the end of it!
I have to go out now. This is a good thing I believe.
By the time I get any it will have been 7 weeks. And this is not a drought, this is BY CHOICE, because I love my lady and don't want anyone else, although the German lady's bottom sounds very nice. And on that note - Disco, cheers for that and I've told you, not without me.
Less than 2 weeks to go now though.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Since when was 7 weeks a long time to go without sex? Jesus, some people don't even know they're born. If Vogon was here, seeing people complain about a drought of less than two months, she'd march round to your house and break your face.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Yeah! I've had a couple of droughts of 18 months, though after a few months I didn't notice any more, and sex seemed a faintly ridiculous pastime indulged in by people with frankly no self-control.
Can any of our readers beat 18 months? Apart from the first 16 or so years of life, natch. Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I would have had a drought of nearly two years, but my sexual drought top trump is marred by a one night stand in the middle.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
I had a six month drought precipitated by love-of-life fecking off to work ex-pat on some mudhole in Asia. This beats 18 months on the premise that I couldn't even go out and bonk a minger for relaxation purposes as I was being all faithful and unadulterous and things.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Having been in a long-term relationship since the age of 17, ‘drought’ is not really a concept I am familiar with. However, after said relationship ended on May 5th 2002 I did not do it between May 18th (though I choose to discount the May 18th experience since I did not enjoy it very much) and July 5th. There was also a drought earlier this year (2003) between March 1st and April 20th, which was highly unsatisfying. I am sincere in my hopes that such droughts will not be a regular occurrence.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
I was in the middle of a 10 month drought until I broke it recently. Actually, I was quite irritated by this as I was aiming to rack up a year of celibacy, and NYD was so easy to count from. No matter, I'm back to my nun-like habit again now. Hopefully not the much longer, although I've become surprisingly picky of late. I have been told that this is a good thing. Having been in LTRs since 15 this holding off has been quite illuminating (I'm not talking about any 'finding yourself' nonsense) but I'm getting rather bored now.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Can any of our readers beat 18 months? Apart from the first 16 or so years of life, natch.
Between losing my virginity in a one-off, fumbling and really rather forgettable occasion when I was 16 and commencing regular shagtivity at 18 I had a break of, er, (counts on fingers) about 20 months or something. This allowed me to develop a rather powerful right arm and become quite an expert in the pronographic arts of the early 1980s.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I couldn't even go out and bonk a minger for relaxation purposes as I was being all faithful and unadulterous and things.
Well precisely.
Six months, Jebus. I think I'd go mad if the end wasn't already in sight.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: There was also a drought earlier this year (2003) between March 1st and April 20th,
I don't think this qualifies as a drought. I think a drought has to be four months, at the very least.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: Having been in a long-term relationship since the age of 17, ‘drought’ is not really a concept I am familiar with.
Clearly.
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I don't think this qualifies as a drought. I think a drought has to be four months, at the very least.
I'd say a drought is any period of non-voluntary non-sex-havingness over two months.
[ 08.12.2003, 03:02: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
Looks like I might have the record so far, though I do tend to consider the virginity losing event as a bit of a false start. It's like if you'd had no rain for 16 years and then had one drop and said, right, drought's over and then had two more years without rain before regular rainfall commenced for the next 20 years.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Yeah but yeah but it’s all relative, innit? I mean we weren’t one of those long-term couples who stopped doing it. Even right up to the end we did it loads (well, this might not sound like loads to the singletons or newly-coupled but the long-term loved up will surely get it) - like at least once a week. So when you’ve been getting it a minimum of once a week and then you break up and see various new boys and get it tons and tons and tons and tons and THEN you don’t get it for almost two months, it’s like holy crap dude, what the FUCK is wrong with me. Is it because I am ginger.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: get it tons and tons and tons and tons and THEN you don’t get it for almost two months, it’s like holy crap dude, what the FUCK is wrong with me. Is it because I am ginger.
I don't see your point. How is this worse than going from a long term relationship (complete with sex life) to meeting new person and getting it tons and tons and tons and then you don't get it for almost two years?
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Because being essentially self-interested and solipsistic I cannot empathise with the sufferings of others?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I can relate to that.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I can't decide whether that's a good joke, or a really bad one. It feel kind of Dang-esque, I think.
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: I had a six month drought precipitated by love-of-life fecking off to work ex-pat on some mudhole in Asia. This beats 18 months on the premise that I couldn't even go out and bonk a minger for relaxation purposes as I was being all faithful and unadulterous and things.
You see, I'm not sure this beats 18 months. I had no reason not to shag mingers for recreation, but didn't, for the possible yet horrifying reason that they didn't want to shag me. At least a six-month self-imposed drought is better for the self image.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
I would have thought also that a drought is a bad thing. It is something that must be endured and suffered. It is a shortage. Therefore, if you go eight months without sex, but at no point do you want any, or even care, then is it still a drought?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
I think that's just called celibacy. The wierdest of all the sexual fetishes.
Posted by Ringo (Member # 47) on :
I wouldn't say that it really counts as a drought. I've regularly been a few months between lays, and it's not something that really bothers me that much. Not that I have a low sex drive, it's just not the most important thing in my life. I'm sure that if I felt so inclined, I could probably get much more sex than I do.
Unlike cars and smoking, it's really something I can live without. For a month or two at least.
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
I have found that the times I've gone without sex - the longest of which nudges the 2 year mark - have been marked not by a slowly-growing need to fuck anything that moves or even breathes but more by a sort of detatched curiosity about sex: like learning Japanese or flying a plane, it seemed like quite a technical and exacting pursuit that probably had its merits, but didn't seem applicable to me. Of course, I was living in St. Andrews at the time, home of the Most Unattractive Student Population in The World...Ever, so perhaps that explains it.
Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I can't decide whether that's a good joke, or a really bad one. It feel kind of Dang-esque, I think.
I would say that it's a good joke. It's the sort of joke that you might make on the back of somebody else's joke, and steal their thunder at the last minute. You'd have to wait for exactly the right moment to deploy it though.
Here:
Point (A) would be where the original wisecrack is made, which could be anything based upon lack of empathy, sympathy, problems with relating to others. London's example works very well. You can see that in this illustration that there is a sharp increase in the volume(db) of laughter (based upon a pub/house party scenario) after this joke. Point (B) however, is the 'rider' gag. You'll notice how the original laughter level is actually falling when this is produced. Of course, the time is on a small scale, so it's probably only a matter of a second to one and a half seconds, but it is vital that (B) is on the down-slope in order to bring the levels up to the plateau at (C). The distance between (A) and (B) should be determined by the amount of self-confidence you wish to portray. It's a fine balance - too much and your attempted coup will be easily spotted, rather than being taken as a "compliment" to the original joke. Too little, and the rider will no longer have a gag to ride.
At point C, people will be thinking "I never realised before how attractive XXXX is...". And most of the work was done at point (A).
So, yes. A good joke.
[ 08.12.2003, 04:19: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
But what are we debating here? The fact that I said I had a drought of 7 weeks and so therefore what constitutes a drought? Like Londie said, its all relevant to what you are used to and thats going to vary for everyone. What might constitute a long time with no sex for you might be a drop in the ocean for your friend over there at the next desk. Its all to do with sex drive and circumstance innit?
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: Like Londie said, its all relevant to what you are used to and thats going to vary for everyone. What might constitute a long time with no sex for you might be a drop in the ocean for your friend over there at the next desk. Its all to do with sex drive and circumstance innit?
But your theory rests on the idea that people who are citing droughts of 10 months+ were, prior to that, not having much sex anyway so not missing it, or simply not interested anyway.
What you have to consider is the possibility that someone maybe going from the same jumping off point of a healthy and active sex life, fuelled by an 8 cylinder libido and then suddenly being plunged into a coitus free environment for a year and a half longer than your feeble approximation of sexual pauperism.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Posts That Didn’t Happen
Dr Benway’s fine analysis of the timing of Thorn’s joke fortunately prevented a serious post I was about to make vis-à-vis ‘skin hunger’ and the concept of using sex in order to get hugs. Feminist sensibilities and fear of being taken the wrong way also prevented me from making big-sisterly teasing comments to Uber vis-à-vis considering seven weeks a ‘drought’ and being A Big Blonde Slut.
What comments have you recently considered posting and then thought better of? Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: missing the point stuff
Actually I am assuming nothing of the kind nor in fact making any judgements/holding any theories about the frequency and enjoyment of sex lives of anyone else. I was merely pointing out a fact that for myself my longest period of abstinence has been 7 weeks and then mocking myself with a joking face to reinforce my extreme sexual nature. Obviously.
I am naturally pleased that my comments have further spurred on this thread to continuing discussion around the subject of drought and sexual frequency but in no way did I mean to present any theories of any kind.
I thank you for your kind attention. No animals were harmed during the making of this disclaimer.
edit: ahh, you see London, I already jibed myself for being a big blonde slut with my 'extreme sexual nature' comment. I know my place
[ 08.12.2003, 04:36: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I have never experienced this "drought" you speak of! Perhaps because I am attractive and good in bed. Also, when I am not getting regular sex, I love myself off with "wanking". I also do this when getting regular sex.
Wow, you are all giving me a boner, I must go to the toilet because it's sexy in there.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
quote:Originally posted by Uber Trick: extreme sexual nature
DUDE. Posted by Dr. Benway (Member # 20) on :
quote:Originally posted by London: Posts That Didn’t Happen What comments have you recently considered posting and then thought better of?
I was going to mention something in web about defining your own moral boundaries within certain games. You know, the type of game that gives you an amoral environment that allows for what we would consider immoral actions.. Whether or not people play as "themselves" or as the character, and does this affect the way that you interact with NPCs etc. It was based upon Miscs' comments, and was a good length. Sadly, it failed my own rigorous quality tested procedure. Three edits, and it was still sub par, so it had to go.
Did you know....? About 75% of our material is eventually cut down or rejected completely, in order to ensure that the "Dr. Benway" brand remains a sign of both quality and excellence. Here at BenwayHQ, Oregan, We've put our heads together, and are thinking about launching an exciting new product sometime soon, in order to compliment the original brand with something more accesible. It would still be from the same team that brings you "Dr. Benway", but the emphasis would be upon bringing you 'more of the benway you love, more of the time'. It would allow readers to access a lot of the material that is currently remaining unpublished. It's still in the concept stage at the moment, but we're making progress! Any customer comments or complaints regarding Dr. Benway or Dr. BenwayLITE should be directed to benway@doctor.com, or TXT "BNWY" to 8223.
[ 08.12.2003, 04:57: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
edit: aww fuckit
I guess that was one of those comments I thought better of posting...
What's going on today? Is it me all off kilter? Actually, my stars did say something about a communication problem today... Perhaps I had better not post today on the advice of astrologers.com
[ 08.12.2003, 05:02: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I think that's just called celibacy. The wierdest of all the sexual fetishes.
I was quite enjoying my celibacy. Am I sick and wrong?
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
o, ok then
[ 08.12.2003, 05:10: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Yeah. He's gone now, so we can talk about him. She appears to be American. And ginner.
American would be fairly spot on - but what the hell is ginner? Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
ginger - one of our glorious and celebrated red-headed variants of the human species. Posted by turbo (Member # 593) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel:
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: I think that's just called celibacy. The wierdest of all the sexual fetishes.
I was quite enjoying my celibacy. Am I sick and wrong?
Probably. But you're not alone. I had a drought after I split up with my ex, shagged him a few more times (to say goodbye) and then got freaked out when he started behaving like a stalker. That was the beginning of six whole months of no sex. I was enjoying my celibacy too, but mainly because I didn't want a man in my life, no matter how briefly. I would have loved some nookie, but I was enjoying not being involved with anyone at any level, so I took my celibacy in my stride. Then I met Turbo Man and much sweaty, breathless bedroom stuff followed.
[ 08.12.2003, 06:16: Message edited by: turbo ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel: I was quite enjoying my celibacy. Am I sick and wrong?
No. But the meeja would let you think otherwise. It's, like, the last taboo, innit? It's permissable, acceptable and laudable to out yourself as myriad different things; transvestite, transexual, gay, bi, liking of semolina, a past member of the Tory party, into nappy-play, desperate for children, desperate to not have children, desperate for power, into hott Asian Babes etc etc. But it's just not on to say "actually, I'm not that keen on sex". Because not being keen on sex doesn't mean you're not keen on sex, it means you're doing it wrong. Or you've never had the right man. Or the right woman. Or the right combination of man and woman, simultaneously, whilst popping amyl nitrate and sticking a rabbit up your bum. When was the last time you read a feature in a Sunday Supplement about people who aren't too keen on bonking? You haven't? Oh, there's a surprise!
NB: This post is not meant to insinuate that Philomel has ever said 'I'm not keen on sex'.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
Thanks for the nb Louche...
My good friend told me that after 6 months of nosex you can be officially reclassified a virgin. Obviously not officially officially, but you get the point. So I was all young sweet and innocent for a while, which was nice. New image! I could have gone round in floaty dresses and plaits and baskets of cakes and stuff.
Now I’m back to square one with unspecified cravings and worrying urges. I don’t know if I can be bothered waiting another six months to untarnish myself.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Morrissey, Stephen Fry and Dickon from Fosca all profess not to be too fond of sex. There is a certain stereotype of the dandy and particular Englishman, who turns his nose up at all the squelching and shouting, which these three play along with. And I did see an article in More! magazine about 'asexuals'. People who long for closeness but have absolutely no desire to get jiggy with it ever, and regret that their 'condition' means they probably won't ever form the close relationships they seek. But these are exceptions.
[ 08.12.2003, 06:25: Message edited by: London ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
This gay guy from the pub was telling me he wouldn't have sex.
He had a rich northern accent and was saying 'theres nur wear, yer putting one o them in there' and as he was enthusing that he wouldn't, ever. llts of other guys joined in the conversation, so eventually I was surrounded by a horde of gay guys who were disgusted at the thought of bum sexing. It seems that contrary to popular belief, there are a fair few gay men who don't have sex, but go 'fingers-and-tops' only.
Apparently.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: This gay guy from the pub was telling me he wouldn't have sex.
He had a rich northern accent and was saying 'theres nur wear, yer putting one o them in there' and as he was enthusing that he wouldn't, ever. llts of other guys joined in the conversation, so eventually I was surrounded by a horde of gay guys who were disgusted at the thought of bum sexing. It seems that contrary to popular belief, there are a fair few gay men who don't have sex, but go 'fingers-and-tops' only.
PUB. INTERIOR.
Gay Guy 1: Ooooh! Who's that simply divine boy over there?
Gay Guy 2: Over where? Oooooooh! I see what you mean!
Gay Guy 3: That's New Way Of Decay. Isn't he gorgeous!
Gay Guys 1 & 2: Mmmmmm.
Gay Guy 3: Unfortunately he's not, you know, gay though.
Gay Guys 1 & 2: Oh.
Gay Guy 3: Doesn't like the way we, you know, bum each other.
Gay Guys 1 & 2: Oh.
Gay Guy 3: But I reckon I've still got a chance. Come over in a couple of minutes, and bring Nigel, Simon, Sandy, William and Big Dave with you. And pretend you haven't noticed my Northern accent...
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Is it really such a fucking "lifestyle change" to not be having sex. Let's make up a label for people who haven't eaten soup for what...what's a soup drought, I wonder, 2 months voluntary? You know, after going from 5th Jan 03 to August of that year* without any soup, as a self-confessed pas-de-potageur, I found I wasn't even missing soup! The pleasures of lentil and bacon, a rich Covt Garden fresh sachet or a quicky in a cup had totally faded for me. I used to hear my flatmate slurping when she got back from a night out and I didn't miss it at all. Knowing that Neil Hannon hadn't eaten (drunk?) soup for years did give it a kind of romantic cachet (sachet?) I admit.
*I disregard a rather disappointing mulligatawny I scoffed when drunk in Leeds one night in May. BECAUSE I CAN!
next: people who don't watch a documentary for six months and think it's worth talking about.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
It would appear so.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
You don't think people ascribe more importance to sex than soup? Or rather you do think that, but you think its unreasonable of them to do so?
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Perhaps, like Uber Trick, you want me BANNED for my views! Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: You don't think people ascribe more importance to sex than soup? Or rather you do think that, but you think its unreasonable of them to do so?
Perhaps it's just one of those things that if you've never gone without it for long, you've never thought of sex as a huge big deal. Just as I take the ability to breathe for granted.
I think there is room on here for me to suggest an alternative point of view now and then.
Posted by charrudeboi (Member # 555) on :
quote: What comments have you recently considered posting and then thought better of?
it burns when i pee
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
You were not supposed to drink the Liquid Silk! Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: I think there is room on here for me to suggest an alternative point of view now and then.
I never suggested that that may not be the case!
But, I don't think your satire is that sharp in this instance. Maybe it would be work if people (partly) based their self-image on how much and how often they had soup, and who they were having soup with. If we lived in a society where there were celbrity magazines delving into the soup lives of the rich and famous, and creating this idea that beautiful successful people were having soup all the time, and you could buy magazines full of beautiful women eating soup, and all the programmes on the telly were talking about soup and saying how crazysoupycool they were for all the soup they were having.
But that's clearly not the case.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by Thorn Davis: If we lived in a society where there were celbrity magazines delving into the soup lives of the rich and famous, and creating this idea that beautiful successful people were having soup all the time, and you could buy magazines full of beautiful women eating soup, and all the programmes on the telly were talking about soup and saying how crazysoupycool they were for all the soup they were having.
I think that is fabulous. I want to live in this soup-cool world. Given how innured we are to nude and seminude people pervading the telly, I could almost get more excited by a bowl of hot, crouton-topped soup than I could about a nestling penis.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
I think that it is actually quite a big lifestyle change not to have sex for a while although I'd argue this had more to do with missing the intimacy and closeness of another person than the actual act itself. And look at monasteries and nunneries: giving up sex is always seen to be one of the big 'sacrifices', on a parr with taking a vow of silence, indeed, in some orders. It's a basic human lust/want and to go from regularly indulging to having none at all is quite a wrench.
Hum, not very eloquent or insightful but I'm squashing this in between some absolutely thrilling (note: sarcasm) if that's an excuse. I will try to come back and elaborate later, if necessary.
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
quote:Originally posted by Louche: nestling penis.
I would quite like to watch a nature programme on telly about one of these. Preferably with David Attenborough crouching excitedly nearby, discussing its hibernation patterns.
Posted by London (Member # 29) on :
Oxytocin. Human bonding hormone. Bonds mother to baby: bonds couples to each other. Created in the body in response to touch, which is intrinsic part of sex. Different levels of hormone created in bodies of men and women, though is present in both. Can also be triggered by touching something soft / warm / responsive, like a pet. If sex taken away, body feels loss of oxytocin. Depression can ensue. Huge physical / hormonal change due to lack of sex / touch – yes, I’d say suddenly going without something the body is used to having is a large ‘lifestyle change’, and as such not comparable to going without soup or documentaries.
sudden flurry of posts = kovacs’ devil’s advocate work here is done?
Posted by Astromariner (Member # 446) on :
That reminds me of A-Level psychology and those little baby rhesus monkeys that were kept in cages with surrogate "mothers" - effectively a wire frame with a feeding bottle attached. Some of the surrogate mothers had terrycloth wrapped round them, and the little baby monkeys clung to these all day long, because as otherwise lacking in simian features as these bits of metal were, it was the nearest they could get to the feeling of mother-baby closeness they were instinctively drawn to. Poor monkeys. I feel a bit depressed now.
[ 08.12.2003, 08:42: Message edited by: Astromariner ]
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
Go home and try and catch the RSPCA advert with the old dog in the rain and the mournful man voiceover proclaiming I don't know why they don't love me anymore, why I am outside in the cold, is it because I'm old.
That'll fettle you.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
Those adverts use to make me laugh, now I go all cry when I see them.
Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
quote:Originally posted by Astromariner: rhesus monkeys
A 'scientist' friend of mine told me about an experiment in which they discovered that if you cut the 'right' part out of the brain of a rhesus monkey then it would just masturbate continuously, compulsively, even after its member had ceased to function, and its hands were calloused and raw.
He may have just been telling me that to make me feel better about myself, though.
Posted by Louche (Member # 450) on :
quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: Those adverts use to make me laugh, now I go all cry when I see them.
The human capacity for empathy increases exponentially with age. It's linked to intimations of mortality. So, when you were young, you would have had minimal conception of how it would feel if it were you, in the rain and unloved. Experience has taught you that unloved dogs in the rain are suffering an mental anguish, physical discomfort and worst of all, the lack of ability to comprehend why. Hence the fact you now cry at these adverts.
Either that, or you're a big girls blouse.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
quote:Originally posted by philomel: I think that it is actually quite a big lifestyle change not to have sex for a while although I'd argue this had more to do with missing the intimacy and closeness of another person than the actual act itself. And look at monasteries and nunneries: giving up sex is always seen to be one of the big 'sacrifices', on a parr with taking a vow of silence, indeed, in some orders. It's a basic human lust/want and to go from regularly indulging to having none at all is quite a wrench.
quote:Oxytocin. Human bonding hormone. Bonds mother to baby: bonds couples to each other. Created in the body in response to touch, which is intrinsic part of sex. Different levels of hormone created in bodies of men and women, though is present in both. Can also be triggered by touching something soft / warm / responsive, like a pet. If sex taken away, body feels loss of oxytocin. Depression can ensue. Huge physical / hormonal change due to lack of sex / touch – yes, I’d say suddenly going without something the body is used to having is a large ‘lifestyle change’, and as such not comparable to going without soup or documentaries.
Bringing in a proper chemical name is neat, but I don't think it really helps your argument, which is much the same as Philomel's.
She talks of missing the intimacy and closeness of another person . You talk about a chemical (which you could have made up for all I know!) produced when mothers touch babies, when owners touch pets.
Going without sex does not mean a lack of this contact and this chemical, which unfortunately makes the "sex is chemically vital to human beings" argument you seemed to be constructing pretty much VOID.
I expect most of us have had sex without any closeness or comfort to speak of. I expect most of us have also been in romantic couples where we didn't have sex for a while, but where touch and intimacy still went on.
My soup satire did indeed do its work in making your day and mine a little bit livelier, but here's a better parallel: we're not asking who's had a "cuddle-drought", or how long you've ever gone without feeling physical bonding and intimacy. How long you've gone without feeling you were romantically loved, or without stroking a cat or holding a baby.
[Or, to take up Philomel's point about celibacy being equivalent in some societies to a vow of silence, how long you've gone without talking to anyone.]
Thorn's criticism still applies in that there isn't this focus on non-sexual intimacy in the culture at large. It's also fair to say that you can talk about whatever you want here, if it passes the time for you. But, and here again I'm answering Uber Trick, I don't think it hurts if someone who disagrees with the prevailing trend has a right to reply and object. I may be wrong, statistically, but it seemed to me there was a load of sex-story-sharing on here recently, and I'm not all about that. You can disagree in turn with me, of course, and that's interesting.
Posted by Uber Trick (Member # 456) on :
I just replied on the other thread, kovacs.
Oxytoxin is a true hormone which does indeed work to bond humans together. It is flooded into the woman's biological system when she gives birth and is released during close physical contact. I can't quite remember if it is only in women to help them bond with their babies and also with the man they are shagging so they don't go and shag around (in pre-historic times, natch) leaving the man free to share his seed, or if it is a male and female hormone. I'd have to go and look up one of my books and I'm supposed to be doing something else right now. In fact, I've even forgotten where I was going with this point.
I think I'd better come back later!
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I kind of suspected it wasn't made up, but I think my point still stands that this chemical and all the bonding you're talking about isn't solely provided by sexual intercourse; that sex doesn't always mean intimacy and that intimacy doesn't always mean sex; and that we as a culture and indeed as a board seem to talk about sex a lot more than we talk about other kinds of intimacy.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: as a board seem to talk about sex a lot more than we talk about other kinds of intimacy.
Are you putting this forward as a bad thing or just commenting on it? If the former then surely this is a matter of interest levels, other people's particularly. For example, you come on TMO and go "Me and modge had a great cuddle last night, it ruled". Everyone's going to be like "So?" and it's not likely to interest or intrigue anyone else outside your relationship. Sex though, for better or worse, is a topic that does pique people's interest hence it's more frequent appearance as a subject of discussion.
Am I answering a question that hasn't actually been asked? Am I over-simplifying? Am I simply wittering on for no good reason while everyone else laughs up their sleeves?
Answer on a post card (or viciously sarcastic internet message board post) please.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: Are you putting this forward as a bad thing or just commenting on it? If the former then surely this is a matter of interest levels, other people's particularly. For example, you come on TMO and go "Me and modge had a great cuddle last night, it ruled". Everyone's going to be like "So?" and it's not likely to interest or intrigue anyone else outside your relationship.
You're implying it would be interesting and intriguing if I talked about having sex with her, in that much detail. Let's compare like for like, after all. I would think a cuddle could be described in a way that could move, interest or excite a reader, just as sex could be made interesting or boring through how it's described.
Frankly, I don't think anyone would want to know if I'd had sex with Modge last night. For a start, there's this understandable keep-it-to-yourself attitude about couples on here, especially established ones -- it's considered boring when couples have sex, and smug if you talk about it. And I can accept that. I wouldn't want to talk about it anyway, but I can see where that attitude comes from.
People are interested far more, I would say, in flings or one-offs, or random risky experiences.
My "issue" with sharing sex stories on TMO is, as I've said before, the familiarity of it. If I was on some anon forum with people telling true sex confessions in detail, I might find it fascinating and arousing. But, no offence, people I've met as friends and am going to see again with their partners, like for instance Bandy and Scrawny?
I'm afraid it would make me cringe if Bandy posted some detailed account of how he went down on her last night. I'd automatically think, what are you trying to prove? Don't you have any sense of where the private ends and the public begins? Don't you respect your own and her dignity about keeping that kind of thing to yourself?
And that's an example with people I actually think are attractive, and don't know so thoroughly well that I'd get an almost incestuous revulsion about being party to their lovelife.
So I don't get it when people on here openly get off, or claim to get off, on hearing their friends' intimate confessions. It's just odd to me. I've said this before though, so I don't want to be (even more) boring.
And I do suggest that there's a cultural focus on sex to the exclusion of other interesting things, yes. It's not especially radical or original to say so, but we don't have a term defining whether someone can drive or not, or has been to the US or not, or seen a dead body or not, but we do have a yes/no binary category based solely around whether someone's had straight sexual intercourse: that one specific act.
Posted by philomel (Member # 586) on :
It's all vicarious voyeurism, innit?
And, correct me if I'm wrong, the sex threads seem mostly banter rather any real, serious ooh, I'm really getting off on this.
Like it or not, friends do talk about sex, maybe more so as it's lost its taboo. The stereotype about rowdy gangs of girls/boys/mixed loudly recounting their exploits might not be particularly sophis but go into any pub and you'll see it all the time. And who doesn't discuss sex tips and sordid encounters with their mates? Or is that just me? Personally (although I only 'know' a few members) I think the fact that this is a pretty close forum makes it more understandable that people chat about their sexuality. A poor parallel: I wouldn't chat with a stranger on messenger about 'what I got up to last night' but I might do if one of my friends popped up.
Posted by Bamba (Member # 330) on :
I think you're focussing too much on the specifics of the example I gave which was throwaway to an extent in that I'm not suggesting you should come here and give blow-by-blow accounts of your sex life with Modge and you're perfectly right in thinking people would think it too much. That kind of thing rarely, if ever, actually happens here, the focus is more on anonymised accounts of random sexual happenings. Yes, obviously they can't be totally random as you're familiar with at least one of parties involved (i.e. the person posting the story) but it's not like Boy Racer comes on and tells you all about his and DD's last shag in moist sweaty detail. It's more of a "this happened to me once" kind of a thing which in my opinion removes it completely from the kind of detailed accounts of someone's current sex life with a known partner that you used as a comparison. Also, let's face it, no one really goes to the toilet at work and whacks off after reading posts here, it's just part of the light-hearted flirtatious banter that happens on one of these threads. I do think you're taking it far too seriously in that respect.
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: I would think a cuddle could be described in a way that could move, interest or excite a reader, just as sex could be made interesting or boring through how it's described.
While that's true to an extent, I think that the more romantic, non-sexual side of any relationship is so unique to the actual people involved that it's be much harder to be particularly interested (for want of a better word) in stories of that nature. Sex on the other hand can be thought of in a purely sensual way meaning that an account of a sexual encounter (good or bad) can be easier to empathise with even without knowing the ins and outs of the specific relationship or the people involved.
Having said all that, I do agree in general with you that sex is much to big of an issue in our society with way too much emphasis placed upon it (your example about the word 'virginity' is well made). But I was certainly under the impression that people posting here aren't trying to be boastful or joining in with the general obsession of proving to the world that you always have the best sex ever all the time. It's just a case of talking with friends about one of the things that pretty much everyone has in common, no more no less. I mean, it's not like this happens everyday, weeks of politics and computer game chat can go by without anyone getting frisky.
Anyway, if you are truly bored by this then that's cool. I was just picking up the thread I'd dropped when leaving work tonight while waiting for my dinner to cook so it's no big deal.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
Maybe there's a deep flaw in my argument in that I got the impression people really were getting off on the sex threads. Perhaps it was all just a joke.
quote:And who doesn't discuss sex tips and sordid encounters with their mates? Or is that just me?
I can't really say I do. I guess there have been times in the past where I have heard, or shared, sordid stories -- but that's because they were amusingly nasty. I wouldn't talk about something that was "special" to me in anything but the vaguest terms. I haven't ever had a friend who could offer ME sex tips.
quote:Originally posted by Bamba: I think you're focussing too much on the specifics of the example I gave which was throwaway to an extent in that I'm not suggesting you should come here and give blow-by-blow accounts of your sex life with Modge and you're perfectly right in thinking people would think it too much.
Well, look, Bamba: don't make the mistake of bringing up an example and not expecting me to tackle that example. You know.
quote: but it's not like Boy Racer comes on and tells you all about his and DD's last shag in moist sweaty detail.
Not exactly, but while I have -- not being a hypocrite -- only skimmed and half-ignored the threads in question, because it'd be stupid of me to say I didn't much like something and then study it carefully, I did see Boy Racer making more than one comment along the lines of my baws are almost blue from waiting to shag Discodamage...only 2.5 weeks left! If you were to ask my opinion, I'd say put that in an email to her. Unless it was meant as a joke, in which case I'd say fine; but as I said, I've been taking a lot of these comments as fairly genuine, and perhaps that's my mistake.
Anyway, I don't find this discussion boring.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: not being a hypocrite
That'd be a first Ko.
I think it's pretty rich you're complaining about partners talking about their sex lives on here given that you have talked about Modge pulling joke faces (like another sexual partner of yours) during sex with you on here not that long ago, to site just one example.
And anyway I thought this was a thread about where we are sexwise at the moment, isn't it? My first comments were merely stating that, my secondary 'blue baws' comments were in response to comments by others about going six days without a shag, and that making them sex mad. A "I see your six days, and raise you five weeks" kind of thing.
To a certain extent I've been joking, to a certain extent not. Mainly I've been trying to deal with both my missing Disco in a love way, and in a luuurrrrvvvve way, by joking about my situation and/or inviting others to poke(fnar) fun at it/me.
On a seperate note to New Way, surely gays that don't bumfuck still have sex, just not anal intercourse.
Anyway, off to pedant's corner for me.
[ 09.12.2003, 03:02: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer: On a seperate note to New Way, surely gays that don't bumfuck still have sex, just not anal intercourse.
Yeah, yeah fo sheez. But the way it was told was like a revelation. It was the amusing way that I was told was all. Like a horde of serious faced camp guys telling me that bumfucking was like an urban myth. He told me because he was saying that because he is open about being gay, the first accusation by homophobes is that he 'took it in there' to which he said disgusted him. I said 'so everything that was told to me in the playground was wrong....uncanny' and that was when everyone else joined in the conversation. It was sort of surreal. Almost like a group of macho rugby players they don't like vaginal intercourse.
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
quote:Originally posted by Boy Racer:
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: not being a hypocrite
That'd be a first Ko.
I think it's pretty rich you're complaining about partners talking about their sex lives on here given that you have talked about Modge pulling joke faces (like another sexual partner of yours) during sex with you on here not that long ago, to site just one example.
I'd love to see you site this example, so we can see you make a bigger fool of yourself.
Posted by New Way Of Decay (Member # 106) on :
*giggle* I see what you did there. Very witty. Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I'll do it.
quote:Finally, another older woman who had been married prior to meeting me, and had perhaps become ingrained in her bedroom habits during years of familiar activity with the same man. Her "position" was to lie on her back holding her legs wide open and with her mouth gaping as if in a silent scream. I don't know how I ever put up with this. Again, it didn't last long and afterwards I wished I'd never been so stupid as to lower my sights to her.
Anyone who thinks I am being tasteless posting this on a board that my girlfriend frequents can be assured that
1) Modge sometimes does a humorous impression of the third woman
To say you were making a big fool of yourself was a little over-the-top, but you cannot claim that the above is an example of me sharing details of my current sex life.
When I said Modge "does a humorous impression" there was no mention of it being during sex, because it wasn't. Contrary to your post: you have talked about Modge pulling joke faces (like another sexual partner of yours) during sex...
My post quoted above is clearly cartoonish and wannabe-comic, not a confession of anything intimate, or any attempt at erotic writing.
My annoyance at you in the previous post stems mainly from the fact that you're implying I'm often hypocritical about this sort of thing -- ie. that I complain a lot about people putting the "private" into a "public" space, while doing it repeatedly myself. (I think it's pretty rich you're complaining )
I'd say the above, quoted post was unusual on my part: so I don't think you can find loads of examples, as you claim. (to site just one example.)
And you've represented it wrongly anyway. Sorry I was ruder than necessary: if I were a different kind of contributor, I would edit it.
Posted by dang65 (Member # 102) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: When I said Modge "does a humorous impression" there was no mention of it being during sex, because it wasn't.
Well, I'm glad you cleared that up because I also remember that post and had assumed exactly the same thing as BR. Er, anyone else??!!
Posted by I am not... (Member # 25) on :
Nah, I have however noticed a few examples recently of Kovacs posting about self-love I could probably site these if I had the time or inclination.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by dang65: Well, I'm glad you cleared that up because I also remember that post and had assumed exactly the same thing as BR. Er, anyone else??!!
Same here.
Although perhaps Modge 'lies on her back holding her legs wide open and with her mouth gaping as if in a silent scream' in a non sexual context.
Who's to know?
Posted by herbs (Member # 101) on :
Sounds like a winner at any social gathering.
Maybe kovacs gets her to do it for the amusement of his msn chix.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by herbs: Sounds like a winner at any social gathering.
See you on the 19th. Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
Well I 'm glad I wasn't the only one who got the wrong end of the, er, stick on that one. I feel so much less of a fool.
And my hypocracy/chance would be a fine thing comments were based around that post and the rest of your posts on that thread, which whilst not all involving your lady (apparently none of them did) were IMO alot more explicit than anything I've posted about my missing my girlfriend and the concurrent frustration, or anything else of a personal sex history nature I've posted for that matter.
As Bamba pointed out I hadn't gone into graphic detail, and I was infact not talking about having sex with my girlfriend at all, but the fact that I WASN'T.
[ 09.12.2003, 04:40: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by Modge (Member # 64) on :
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles:
Although perhaps Modge 'lies on her back holding her legs wide open and with her mouth gaping as if in a silent scream' in a non sexual context.
Who's to know?
I know!
I did, fully dressed, do that impression as a joke, to make fun of his ex-gf. It was a bit bitchy, it definitely wasn't sexy (not for me anyway!) and it probably wasn't funny either Posted by Thorn Davis (Member # 65) on :
Can we see it?
Posted by Modge (Member # 64) on :
yes, at the meat. It will be my party piece.
Now, can we stop talking about me and get back to haranguing evilkovacs.
Posted by Boy Racer (Member # 498) on :
quote:Originally posted by Modge: yes, at the meat. It will be my party piece.
B-but I won't get to see this as I can't make the meat because I'm flying to Mexico to shag Disco.
Only 1.59 weeks left!
[ 09.12.2003, 05:22: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
Posted by kovacs (Member # 28) on :
I was very pleased to have my views confirmed tonight, in person, by our greatest living novelist MARTIN AMIS.
Shaggy and jowly -- looking rather like his pere -- Amis shrugged off meaty epigrams as if they were two-a-penny, like a master butcher carving up culture and throwing out the scraps. Several of his off the cuff judgements really hit home in the light of this thread and the debates around it -- his comments about the obscenification of contemporary life, of the desperate drive to overcome inhibitions as an end in itself, and the way it leaves you feeling like MALVOLIO if you're alienated or disapprove of it all. And his assessment of much contemporary discourse as cobbled-together motifs and verbals tics that sound snappy and modern but don't really have anything at their heart at all: his radical, oldfashioned notion that discourse has to be built around a moral centre.
For someone who looked like a motheaten old toff, he was inspiring -- basking in his own knowledge that he is learned in the classical sense, an intellectual knifeman, a cultural slumster and a cerebral toiler, someone who puts the slog into working out what's going on, -- making arrogance seem perfectly and amusingly OK.
Posted by MiscellaneousFiles (Member # 60) on :
quote:Originally posted by mart: Misc, I loved the "Girl Who Smokes" fantasy.
(if you don't remember, there's a "girl who smokes" living across the way from Misc+Kel's flat. she just comes out onto her balcony, which can be seen from their front room, smokes a cigarette, in that sexy way that a chick on her own on a blacony smoking a cigarette naturally has, then goes back inside again. desk to the max.)
Posted by Grianagh (Member # 583) on :
ah ha! It's the lust of one smoker for another .....
[ 11.01.2004, 11:07: Message edited by: Grianagh ]
Posted by scrawny (Member # 113) on :
You photographed her?
Is this moral?
Posted by ben (Member # 13) on :
quote:Originally posted by kovacs: For someone who looked like a motheaten old toff, he was inspiring -- basking in his own knowledge that he is learned in the classical sense, an intellectual knifeman, a cultural slumster and a cerebral toiler, someone who puts the slog into working out what's going on, -- making arrogance seem perfectly and amusingly OK.
Sacre bleu! I've only just read this. I have to say, having been won over by London Fields I now feel a barely restrainable urge to clawhammer to oblivion each and every worthless cur that's spied Amis a-limping and wrapped its gingvitic maw round his cord-clad, all-too-tender calves.
Fuckem all, Mart. Fuckem doubleplus to the max - you'll leather em all at the death...
Posted by mart (Member # 32) on :
quote:Originally posted by ben: Fuckem all
[ 12.01.2004, 17:53: Message edited by: mart ]
Posted by omikin (Member # 37) on :
![[Eek!]](eek.gif)
![[Smile]](smile.gif)
.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
![[Embarrassed]](redface.gif)
![[Confused]](confused.gif)
![[Cool]](cool.gif)
and I really must stop thinking about sex and do some work.
![[Roll Eyes]](rolleyes.gif)
and lol@scrawny for thinking I was mentioning the couple-police in relation to her and as if I wouldn't have been doing it ironically anyway ![[Wink]](wink.gif)
![[Big Grin]](biggrin.gif)
He doesn't know this yet.
![[Mad]](mad.gif)
DUDE. 
