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Why don't snowflakes really look like this in real life? It's all a big lie.
Also: isn't it about time we just pulled the plug on the whole snow/Christmas linkage? It just isn't going to fucking happen people. 'Hoping for snow' is probably the most pointless and depressing tradition of this whole sorry time of year.
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My mum sent me an advent calendar to my work address. Which made me look like a total mong rather than the efficient young professional image the I have been attempting to cultivate.
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Duracell sent me an advent calender. I don't know why, but there's something massively depressing about coporate advent calender. I remember when Aiwa gave me about five of them, to share around the office and I just smashed them all open and gorged myself on the horrible un-chocolate inside.
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Octavia
I hate Valentine's Day. Stupid commercialised crap
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Friend that I stayed with last night has a Maltesers one. How shit is that? One Malteser a day for the next 24 days. It's like some kind of torture.
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quote:Originally posted by Vogon Poetess: My mum's sent me a Shrek 2 advent calendar. I don't like the cheapo chocolate in it. Shrek 2 has nothing to do with Christmas. And I'm 26.
My Mum just gave my gf one of those, and me a West Ham United advent calendar. And I'm 35 - I found the footballing aspect much more exciting than anything to do with christmas, which I have despised for years. This year entails meeting the inlaws - I'd rather poke my eyes out with cocktail sticks to be honest.
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My daughter was more excited about giving me my Winnie the Pooh advent calendar this morning than she was about receiving her Barbie one. She's such a giving child.
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I'm going to buy one of those advent calendars for dogs. They look bigger than the ones for children, and you can get them in Poundland for god's sake... for a pound!
Maybe I should have joined the Secreted Santer Programme.
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I tried to build up the anticipation for my 2-year-old this morning by asking him point out the snowman and father christmas and to find the Number 1 window and then I opened the window and asked him what picture was printed inside it... if he could speak he'd have said, "Just gimme the fuck'n chocolate will ya?"
We've also got a Playmobil calendar a bit like this:
You open up a different box each day and slowly build up a vaguely Christmas related scene. But it's not made of chocolate so it doesn't get much attention really.
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And is there room for Playmobil depictions of the actual life of Our Lord? The flight into Egypt, Massacre of the Innocents, Sermon on the Mount, the Scourging or Stations of the Cross?
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I got one from Sainsburys and it has some fashionplate drawings of svelte gazellesque young girls on it, probably wearing hobos in taupey, biscuity shades, teamed with a stone disc belt and salmon 7FAMKs, I shall have to check when I get in! One of the three girls is Black British and Modge always positions a big bottle of wine in front of her, effectively censoring her so she can look at the more Dunstlike counterparts on either side.
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I've installed the weebl advent calendar screensaver. It's the first advent calendar I've seen in years - since I was about 8 or 9, probably. I'm enjoying it so far, as the screensaver has sound and seems to really annoy the cranky executive assistant who sits two desks down.
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quote: Originally posted by kovacs: PS. what is Black Mask's picture of?
quote:Originally posted by ben, immediately underneath Black Mask's picture: Why don't snowflakes really look like this in real life? It's all a big lie.
Are you thick or just unable to use your eyes to read?
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quote:Originally posted by ben: And is there room for Playmobil depictions of the actual life of Our Lord? The flight into Egypt, Massacre of the Innocents, Sermon on the Mount, the Scourging or Stations of the Cross?
In a chimp's cock.
the scourging is one of the stations of the cross.
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quote:Originally posted by omikin: the scourging is one of the stations of the cross.
Get thee behind me, Omikin.
quote:Formerly their number varied considerably in different places but fourteen are now prescribed by authority. They are as follows:
1. Christ condemned to death; 2. the cross is laid upon him; 3. His first fall; 4. He meets His Blessed Mother; 5. Simon of Cyrene is made to bear the cross; 6. Christ's face is wiped by Veronica; 7. His second fall; 8. He meets the women of Jerusalem; 9. His third fall; 10. He is stripped of His garments; 11. His crucifixion; 12. His death on the cross; 13. His body is taken down from the cross; and 14. laid in the tomb.
All of which would make for a superb 50% of the Advent calendar. Especially in Playmobil.
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and if you'd read just a little further down, ben...
quote: An interesting variation is found in the special set of eleven stations ordered in 1799 for use in the diocese of Vienne. It is as follows:
1) the Agony in the Garden; 2) the betrayal by Judas; 3) the scourging; 4) the crowning with thorns; 5) Christ condemned to death; 6) He meets Simon of Cyrene; 7) the women of Jerusalem; 8) He tastes the gall; 9) He is nailed to the cross; 10) His death on the cross; and 11) His body is taken down from the cross.
It will be noticed that only five of these correspond exactly with our Stations.
just depends which century you live in. as you can see, i inhabit the eighteenth century.
excuse me as i'm about to be burned as a witch for using this machine.
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Okay I know most of these but not all. Answers on a post(card) please:
advent Gabriel tells Mary she's up duff christmas Baby Jesus is born epiphany Magi arrive with party gifts lent Forty days in desert, innit, more or less holy week Leading up to and including Jesus getting nailed easter The man rises from The Dead rogationwhatisthis ascention Mary floats up to heaven pentecost (whitsun)whatisthis trinitywhatisthis all saints Well I know what this is all about, but am not sure how it ties in with "Jesus"
edited for less ugliness and to say that i could of course just look it up, couldn't i, but i want omikin to show off, which will prove he's a witch, or something.
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can help on one of these from my own knowledge!
pentecost meaning "fiftieth day" is the celebration of the events that are recorded in the first book of acts of the apostles. it marks the day where the apostles were sort of "holed up" after jesus' death and were not really popular with either jews or romans or anyone.
anyway, the holy spirit descended on them with tongues of flame (you often see renaissance paintings of this with flames on top of the apostles' heads) and they were all inspired to go out and preach as one. they went outside and each began preaching to all these different people from all over the middle east and each person understood the preaching in their own language!
there's a great passage which i will try to find which talks about the people from "phrygia and pamphyllia, syria and mesopotamia..." etc.
i'm sure there's a hymnn which mentions the "flame of pentecost" as well.
does this help?
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quote: Acts.2 [1] And when the day of Pentecost was fully come, they were all with one accord in one place. [2] And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting. [3] And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them. [4] And they were all filled with the Holy Ghost, and began to speak with other tongues, as the Spirit gave them utterance. [5] And there were dwelling at Jerusalem Jews, devout men, out of every nation under heaven. [6] Now when this was noised abroad, the multitude came together, and were confounded, because that every man heard them speak in his own language. [7] And they were all amazed and marvelled, saying one to another, Behold, are not all these which speak Galilaeans? [8] And how hear we every man in our own tongue, wherein we were born? [9] Parthians, and Medes, and Elamites, and the dwellers in Mesopotamia, and in Judaea, and Cappadocia, in Pontus, and Asia, [10] Phrygia, and Pamphylia, in Egypt, and in the parts of Libya about Cyrene, and strangers of Rome, Jews and proselytes, [11] Cretes and Arabians, we do hear them speak in our tongues the wonderful works of God. [12] And they were all amazed, and were in doubt, saying one to another, What meaneth this?
have some of that!
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