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Here's another gap in the market, see. Tons of stupid Christmas cards to be disposed of. Shocking. 400,000 double-decker buses full (double-decker buses and football pitches, traditional UK media measurement standards).
So, we need to set up a company by this time next year which makes Christmas cards out of a material which can be disposed of without the involvement of any buses at all. Some sort of instantly biodegradeable material you could just chuck in the nearest hedge. Ooh, how about some sort of squashed foodstuff to feed the wild birds of Brittin that are all starving (although they haven't touched the orange nut bag things we put out about three months ago). You'd have a Xmas card sized sheet of squashed seeds, like one of those sesame snap things, and it would have a little panel of rice paper built in to write a delightful greeting with food colouring or something. Trouble is, you still need an envelope of some sort. How about special ink that fades away in a couple of weeks so you can use the envelope again. Or something. Money to be made here, y'know.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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quote:Originally posted by dang65: how about some sort of squashed foodstuff to feed the wild birds of Brittin that are all starving (although they haven't touched the orange nut bag things we put out about three months ago).
Wild birds are fussy ignorant little twats, you know. What's with them? What's their fucking problem? Spend a fucking fortune on a top of the range RSPB designed nut hanger and some organic fucking nuts - organic, fer fuck's sake, these are your top nuts here, no Tesco value, nossir - and the fuckers don't even look at them. Like they've got better berries where they are, thanks very much, we'll just leave your nuts to moulder whilst the neighbours laugh mockingly at your paltry attempts to encourage wildlife into the garden. Fuckers. Ingrate fuckers. Hope they all fucking starve and one frozen morning in January I emerge from the warm, foodfull house and find a cataclysmic covering of tiny, broken, malnourished wildbird bodies decorating my garden.
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posted
Maybe we could create some sort of manufacturing process to make cards from dead birds and they could be fed to cats or something. This needs some thought and I'm now going to take the rest of the year off. A splendid season to all. Apart from ungrateful wild birds.
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posted
we should make cards like etch-a-sketch, so you can just wipe off all the design and writing and then put a new one on next time, though I'm not sure crappily hand-drawn etch-a-sketch pictures of santa would really have the same impact..
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posted
Cards made out of flash paper, and a book of matches come as standard.
Or, molded sulpher, when the card is removed from its kerosene bath, you have about 3 secs to read it before it explodes.
Instead of some self-centred 'pop stars' doing another Band Aid, make the cards out of hamburgers and on boxing day, send them to Africa.
Made from rolled and pressed cocaine, then sent to the aforementioned popstars.
There are loads of possibilities!
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What is everyones problem with ecards. They save paper, can be animated and have sound and so are like a mini cartoon. What , like Clinton's fucking range is "personal" and shows "effort" MY ASS.
clinton card < personalised card < ecard < personialed ecard.
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You send someone an e-card when you want them to know - but don't have the nerve to tell them explicitly - that you don't care whether they live or die.
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I went out with this sweet boy who'd send me little e-cards all the time. Not for Christmas or anything, just whenever. It was really cute. Dumped him, of course. But it can be a way of showing someone you're thinking of them. The ones from www.welovefine.com can be sweet - Junko Mitzuko pictures and little skulls and things on them. Not that I would EVER, EVER, EVER send one exactly, but they're kind of lovely. Yeah, e-cards are demonised and most of them are animated-gif-laced abominations, but there's potential there. Plus what about the Seethru e-cards? They rocked! I especially liked the one with the condom on that said 'Thanks mate. I needed that.' And the one that said 'Change your fucking ringtone!' And the one that said 'Make a fucking coffee for once.' But I suppose they are atypical of the breed.
eta: Jeez, listen to me flip-flopping all over the place. I like e-cards! But they can suck. But these ones are nice! But they're not cool. *slap* Make up your fucking mind! Ok. I <3 ecards. Are you happy now?
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