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» TMO Talk » The Library » Disappointing really (Page 1)

 
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Author Topic: Disappointing really
jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Clearly everyone is excited by the prospect of Thorn's 7000th post. It's going to be something special, make no mistake. So, while he's sweating over the Post of all Posts, why don't we use this thread to speculate on what it might contain when it arrives. Also, perhaps we could use this thread to remember the best bits of Thorn Davis. I mean his posts, not, for example, his black cock.

I'll be back shortly to add my thoughts to this, a thread for Thorn Davis, possibly TMO's M.V.P.

[ 10.02.2005, 09:37: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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London

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Ooh! I wrote this over on the Ikea thread but I shall move it here:
quote:

Re: Thorn doing something big for 7000. What could it be? I am wondering what he could pull off that would be of the magnitude of, say, that time Ben said that if he got enough responses on a certain thread he would post a picture of his scanned-in cock... and then DID. What would we like Thorn to do? What is there left for Thorn to do?


Best bits of Thorn. I loved the early Sex Is Pain stuff, when he wondered about making his g/f give him head while he played a computer game, and everyone thought he was a misoggo. That was cool. And the time he inspired Benway to do a graph explaining scientifically the way Thorn's humour works. And the Fun Salad, of course.

Worst bits of Thorn. Wanking on about Robocop.

[ 10.02.2005, 06:42: Message edited by: London ]

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Abby
Slave Girl of Gor
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I think you have scared him off now. Expectation is too high and everyone is watching. It’s like when Martin tries to make me do Eric Cartman impressions in front of people. I cant do it on demand you see, it has to be spontaneous.
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London

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Tell Martin I'll do it. My Cartman impression is so finely honed now that I sometimes burst into it spontaneously: at business meetings, for example, or whilst doing a sex. I like to think it's one of my finer attributes.
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Dr. Benway

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I liked the way Thorn introduced himself to the forum - by having some indecipherable argument with SilverGinger5 that seemed to extend over the whole forum, and then when people slagged him off, he just slagged them off back.

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I have shit on you, son

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Abby
Slave Girl of Gor
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Hah, I know what you mean.

A friend of mine recently started humming the theme tune to Thomas the Tank Engine during sex (with his girlfriend). She told everyone - it was great!

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Dr. Benway

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coming up to 1000 posts there, Abby. Planning anything exciting?

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I have shit on you, son

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Tom Boy
TMO Member
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quote:
Originally posted by Abby:
A friend of mine recently started humming the theme tune to Thomas the Tank Engine during sex (with his girlfriend). She told everyone - it was great!

Sorry but was she like
"It was great"
or the fact that she told everyone, was great?

Just trying to get some tips, I am going to a pub for a singles night on saturday. Its a bit dodgey cos its one of those pubs where everyone you look at seems like they should be in bed being tucked up by a loving mummy with a cup of hot cocoa, Kovacs fancy an exclusive paedo-meat? (Finnegans, behind the cinema in Ealing Broadway)

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So bad its good

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Dr. Benway

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If I was shagging somebody, and they hummed anything, then it would be ungreat. Although, NWA seem to think that when a ho is suckin' a young g's dick, they should gently place the balls in the mouth and Hmmmmmmm. Those skanky ass cum buckets always be bitin' it though. Bitches need to learn how to do that shit correct.

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I have shit on you, son

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London

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What I like is, not the music, but the sound the train makes in Ivor the Engine. I like it when a man is pounding me from behind and then he starts to make the train noise: 'Pssshhhh-de-couuuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff, pssshhh-de-couuffff' [quite hard to do the phonetic noises here - can any of our other readers who grew up in the 70s help me out?] in time with his thrusts, faster and faster, until he comes. Now that's great.

I don't like it when he makes the 'Whoo-wooo!' train whistle when he comes though. That's just SO wrong.

[ 10.02.2005, 07:30: Message edited by: London ]

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Abby
Slave Girl of Gor
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I meant great that she told everyone. He was kind of standing next to her gently prodding her shoulder going "no baby, no dont tell them...baby please...".

I dont think she got any kind of sexual kick out of it, quite spoiled the moment apparently.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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Obviously the best thing about Thorn's posting career has been his progression from frat boy bum chum of SG5 to one of the most consistent posters in the TMO board world. I'm grateful to him for his opening exchanges with SG5 because they prompted me to write the rap music lyric "I ope you got detol coz bad man gonna scratch ya!", which I love.

Since evolving from his putrid pupa stage, the butterfly of Davis is now a creature of wonder, fluttering through the forum raining bile, bitterness and razor sharp analysis.

My Thorn Davis Best Bits would include the day he got drunk and started a love-in thread, rambling about how much he "fuckin' loved" every member of the forum before being told off by his Dad for drinking too much.

His request for someone with the technical skill to turn a recorded telephone conversation to an aged dyslexic who had lost their tabey into an MPEG file to play to the forum. Something I was reminded of only yesterday when I saw a sign "Lost puppy. A family pet much mist."

His There and Back Again: A Thorn's Tale thread, which helped keep the ring of power alive and contributed to the coming of the dark ages and the downfall of the boards.

As for his 7000th post. I hope it will be a hideous tapestry woven from all the little snippets of materiel Thorn thought better of posting over the years.

Oh, have we moved on from this now?

[ 10.02.2005, 07:36: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Dr. Benway

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quote:
Originally posted by London:
I don't like it when he makes the 'Whoo-wooo!' train whistle when he comes though. That's just SO wrong.

He could also cover your eyes intermittenly and go "Huuuuuh- HUUUH!", like you're going through a tunnel. Then charge you £4 for a can of warm stella, and lock the toilet.


eta: Sorry Jonesy.

[ 10.02.2005, 07:41: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]

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I have shit on you, son

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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'Salright Benway. Pretending to be Ivor the Engine during sex (especially in the episode where a small, red dragon with a shrill voice lives inside Ivor's boiler - which is fucking wicked) isn't a far cry from Thorn playing computer games during oral sex - so it's totally on topic, in a roundabout way.

Also, this belongs in this thread, plus it's quality and deserves repeating.

 -

If Thorn gets to 7000 posts I'll cut my balls off.

[ 10.02.2005, 07:48: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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saltrock
"absolutely no idea whatsoever"
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London, I'm doing the whole Ivor thing in my head here and to me it sounds more like a pssshhhh-t-cum, pssshhhh-t-cum kind of noise.

Favourite Thorn moment since I have been here:- I don't think that there is one in particular. I just love his sunny disposition.

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Call that a contribution?

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MiscellaneousFiles

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[RETRO KIDZ TEEVEE MEMORIES]
PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
Little Jackie Paper loved that rascal PUFF,
And brought him strings and sealing wax and other fancy stuff.

OH PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

Together they would travel on a boat with billowed sail
Jackie kept a lookout perched on PUFF's gigantic tail,

Noble kings and princes would bow when'er they came,
Pirate ships would lower their flags when PUFF roared out his name

OH, PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,

A dragon lives forever but not so little boys
Painted wings and giant rings make way for other toys.
One gray night it happened, Jackie Paper came no more
And PUFF that mighty dragon, he ceased his fearless roar.

His head was bent in sorrow, green scales fell like rain,
PUFF no longer went to play along the cherry lane.
Without his life-long friend, PUFF could not be brave,
So PUFF that mighty dragon sadly slipped into his cave.

Oh! PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee,
PUFF, the magic dragon lived by the sea
And frolicked in the autumn mist in a land called Honah Lee.
[/RETRO KIDZ TEEVEE MEMORIES]

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dang65
it's all the rage
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I don't think I could last all the way through the song. Could give it a go though, if you're up for it.
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Dr. Benway

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I'm getting really excited about thorn's post now.

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I have shit on you, son

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Boy Racer
This man has no twinkie !
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quote:
From Boy Racer's Bumper Book of Confidently Authoritative Opinions on Every Subject on God's Green Earth:
The authentic Ivor the engine noise is psssshhhhhhhh-t-couffff (repeat, speed up, shorten)



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Some people stand in the darkness, afraid to step into the light...

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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quote:
Originally posted by Dr. Benway:
I'm getting really excited about thorn's post now.

What do you think it's going to be about? Will it be shock and awe or something sentimental and reflective? Will he have a new user name? Will it be disgusting or charming? Do you think it will be themed around the number 7000
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George the Robot
TMO Member
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quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Also, this belongs in this thread, plus it's quality and deserves repeating.

 -

If Thorn gets to 7000 posts I'll cut my balls off.

Cheers Jonesy! [Smile]

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murr.

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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quote:
Originally posted by George the Robot:
quote:
Originally posted by jonesy999:
Also, this belongs in this thread, plus it's quality and deserves repeating.

 -

If Thorn gets to 7000 posts I'll cut my balls off.

Cheers Jonesy! [Smile]
You're welcome.
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Fionnula the Cooler
Tags are meant to be funny
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I have coffee. I have marshmallows. The fire is on. The curtains are shut. The lights are off. I just cancelled an appointment with the doctor. This had better be worth it.
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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I expect Thorn will never post again. Just to piss me off. That's the kind of thing he'd do. The bastard.
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London

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I'd like a little mpeg. I think he should deliver his post to camera, and post that. That would be nice, like when celebrities beam in their thanks via videolinks when they can't be there themselves. That way, not only could we have the brilliance of his words, but we could get to see him too. It would be like being Octavia or something. That would be excellent.
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Dr. Benway

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I think that it's going to be an epic. Grand and sweeping, it'll manage to nail all of the aspects of thr0n that we love. But, better than that, his energy and inventiveness will inject a new vigour into the boards as a whole, ratcheting up the quality, and drawing out the lurkers. It'll be very funny and shocking, but also heart breaking and poignant. It'll touch all the bases needed for a home run, sealing his position as the natural heir to the throne. We'll be textually tossing him on our shoulders as the ticker tape of lols cascades around the thread. We'll hold him aloft for all the internet to see, and proudly cry "Go THORN! GO THORN!", and he'll beam like a death ray, knowing that for his 7000 post, he truly is number one.

*Ka-Buff!*

The flash of the photographers bulb, the moment captured forever. Applause and whopping as we fade to black.

[ 10.02.2005, 08:28: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]

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I have shit on you, son

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Dr. Benway

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quote:
Originally posted by Fionnula the Cooler:
I just cancelled an appointment with the doctor.

Not again, fionnula. [Frown]

[ 10.02.2005, 08:32: Message edited by: Dr. Benway ]

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I have shit on you, son

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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quote:
Originally posted by London:
I'd like a little mpeg. I think he should deliver his post to camera, and post that. That would be nice, like when celebrities beam in their thanks via videolinks when they can't be there themselves. That way, not only could we have the brilliance of his words, but we could get to see him too. It would be like being Octavia or something. That would be excellent.

Especially if he did it whilst playing a video game and receiving fellatio at the same time, to show his multiskilling...erm...skills.

[ 10.02.2005, 08:29: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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London

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And pretending to be Ivor the Engine. That's vitally important.
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Tom Boy
TMO Member
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So natural train-esque noises are cool whoops aint, how about if I went somewhere down the middle and went for in the jungle?

ah wimbawet, ah wimbawet.
O Wumbawet, o wumbawet.
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH
OOOOOOHHHHHHHH
WWWWWWWWWWEEEEEEEEEE
OOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH
Zawibambambaweeeehh

any takers?

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So bad its good

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London

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Actually, scrub that. I want the mpeg of the speech while Thorn is receiving head and playing a video game etc, but while this is going on, BEN, his dad, is behind him being Ivor the Engine, intermittently putting his hand over Thorn's eyes and taking it away again, and then saying 'Huuuur-HUURRR!' like going through a tunnel from time to time, like Benway said. That's what I'd like.
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Dr. Benway

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dear....god..

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I have shit on you, son

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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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I know. It's almost more than I can bear.

[ 10.02.2005, 08:38: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
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Remember when he got to 5,000 posts? Single line. Don't fucking touch me. Then he disappeared, to resurface only when TMO had started to bemoan his absence with waling and gnashing of teeth and shredding of garments etc. (I think London asked where he was).

I best he posts a single profanity, then disappears, traceless into the void of the internet.

Also, does anyone still have the picture of ben's cock?

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MiscellaneousFiles

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I don't think Thorn Davis is alive anymore.

[Frown]

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