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So. I go to the hospital for a routine "nuchal fold" scan. At nearly 13 weeks pregnant I'm out of the miscarriage woods, supposedly, (only 3% fail after seeing a heartbeat at 10 weeks, a statistic I'd been clinging to) and into a whole new set of numbers (1:300 risk for downs syndrome my best chance).
It's exciting. It's the first time R's seen our baby. Soon we can decide on a name. But there's no movement. There's no heartbeat. The man must be doing it wrong. He must have the measurements wrong. The nice lady leading me out of the room hasn't understood. He's made a mistake. All these people booking me in for an operation have got it all wrong too.
I still can't believe it, a few days later.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
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Fucking hell. I can't imagine how upsetting that must have been. Words aren't enough obviously but for what it's worth really really sorry to hear that.
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I'm so sorry. I don't think there is anything consoling to say. It's just fucking shit, a horrible bereavement, a horrible death, and there isn't really anything to do but cry and then wait for stuff to feel better. And ask about getting some therapy for free. Seriously. You might as well.
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Can't see that there's anything to say other than that sincere thoughts are with you.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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I'm so sorry, Herbs. My heart goes out to you. I wish there was something I could do or say that would make this better for you.
Thinking of you and sending you all my love.
-------------------- They give you a pen as fat as a modest cock and you're expected to dab it on the page, as though you were mopping the dregs of an afternoon Tommy. Posts: 1847
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That is utterly terrible news Herbs - All I can say is my thoughts are with you. I just wish I could say something to make it at least a bit better, but there are no words that I can find.
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That's it, isn't it. If there was something anyone could say to make it better, I'd had have them at gunpoint, repeating it over and over.
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I'm so sorry to hear the news. I really wish there was something anyone could do, but-
rooster and I both will have you in our thoughts- this is one of those occasions where words just seem so feeble. I can't even give a hug to console, as I can't quite reach the 3000 miles required to do so. But you certainly have our sympathy- hang in there.
-------------------- Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains. Posts: 3201
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I haven't the faintest idea what to say in a situation like this, but suffice you say you have my deepest, heartfelt sympathy.
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There are no words I can say, or no amount of empathy I can try to express that will ever really come close to helping you in this situation Herbs, but I feel a deep and genuine sympathy for you both. I know you’ll get through this in whatever way you can, but don’t suffer in silence when there are people who can help take away some of the pain.
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Herbs, this is such a distressing and unfair thing to happen. Like everyone else has said, words are pretty futile at the moment so it will be little consolation to say that they can do amazing things these days to avoid this happening to you again. Carry on, soldier.
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I'm sorry to lay this heavy scene on you all, but it seems such an overwhelming and life-altering happening, I can't not tell my 'friends from the internet'. And this kind of stuff is so often swept under carpets, and shouldn't be. It happens to lots of people. Though I seem to have bucked most statistics on the matter - less than 3% go wrong after a heartbeat at 10 weeks, only 1% die and stay inside undetected for OVER TWO WEEKS at this stage, only 1% of couples have recurrent miscarriage. Lies, damn lies, etc...
The only thing keeping me going is the thought that there are, indeed, tests that can be done, nice men that can give me injections next time, etc. But in the meantime there's now, and this particular baby, to be dealing with. There are loads of support boards, but most of them are full of pink twinkly atavars, talk of 'angels' etc, which even in my state I can't stomach.
R went back to work today, so I'm feeling a bit lonely. But I'll try not to go on and on.
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Well you know this is a fantastic place to vent, so don't feel like you need to hold back on our account. Nobody's going to complain if you want to get it off your chest, I'm sure everyone would understand.
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I've just dropped two light bulbs in B and Q. This might, to anyone of my age, sound like I'm about to start buzzing from the some lively recreational narcotic and that I'm posting from a disused aircraft hanger full of ravers or something but, alas, no, I really did drop two light bulbs on the floor of a DIY store. They popped like miniature explosives and cast a shimmering puddle of mirrored fallout across the floor. I shouted "bollocks!", so loudly I surprised myself. It all came about because a jolly middle-aged woman dropped a pound coin which rolled away across the floor. I controlled the wheeling quid with the instep of my foot and bent down to pick it up. Turned, as it was, momentarily upside down, my box of light bulbs opened and a few seconds after I'd handed Jolly back her coin (and received a chuckling thank you in return) my two shiny doodlebugs fell to the floor. When I shouted bollocks the woman said sorry – she knew the entire debacle was the fault of her and her pound coin. There is no karma I thought to myself as the woman apologized a second time. I didn't even say "It's alright. It was an accident.", as I should have done. I simply frowned at her. Such a horrid boy. Anyway, the girl behind the counter (Mabel, unless she was wearing someone else's orange overalls) swept up the debris and let me have another box of lightbulbs, no charge. Good old Mabel.
About an hour or so ago, the girl to my left was trying to attract the attention of my boss, and I think she stumbled over deciding whether to say "Can I bother you for a moment" and "can I bug you," and it came out as "Can I bugger you for a moment?" But she said it so innocuously no-one seemed to pick up on it except me, choking back laughter in painful body-wracking sobs.
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Oh herbs, how utterly grim. Is there any kind of pleasent retreat you can flee to for a bit - feed ducks, walk in the countryside kind of thing?
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I didn't realise Jeremy Kyle was real. I thought he was a character played by someone else on the radio.
In other news, I'm making a boiled egg. I've decided to use this method I just got off the internet:
1. Place the egg in a saucepan.
2. Run cold water into the saucepan until the water is 1 inch above the egg. (Image 1)
3. Place the saucepan on a stove and cook over medium heat until the water begins to boil.
4. Reduce the heat to low.
5. Simmer for 2 to 3 minutes for soft-boiled eggs or 10 to 15 minutes for hard-boiled eggs. (Image 2)
6. Remove the egg with a spoon or ladle and let it cool slowly, or run cold water over it to cool it more quickly. (Image 3)
It's going to go wrong, isn't it? I bet there's a huge TMO debate just waiting to happen about how to make the perfect boiled egg. I'm aiming for a fairly soft boiled number. I'll get back to you to let you know the result.
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We're going away for the weekend to the Norfolk coast - bleak windy beaches for staring over the sea, but hearty food and drink in the evenings. However, all the nice places are booked up so we've ended up in a twin-bedded room with woodworking tools on the wall. Gotta laugh.
ETA: I think you'll find four minutes, with the 'from cold' method, gives the perfect soft-boiled egg.
![[Frown]](frown.gif)
I'm so sorry.
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