So, tonight I'll deck my halls with holy and tinsel, decorate my tree and light up the house and garden...
What will you do ?
Do you decorate the house for the holiday season or do you not ? Tree ? House lights ?
I love Christmas me, I love decorations..
Happy 1st of December all, have my traditional Christmas poem - again...
There was holly and tinsel, a big Christmas tree, turkey and crackers and our family. All us children were happily playing with toys, Sindy dolls for the girls, Action men for the boys. As the last gift was pulled out from under the tree, and handed across, I thought what can this be? So I ripped off the paper and pulled of the bow, what could this gift be, well I just had to know. And then there in my hands was my Christmas surprise, 'twas a new pair of pants,in a medium size, and printed over the crotch was a message so clear, it said "if you rub gently, a Genie appears!"
I'd been given a pair of miraculous skids, I was sure to be envied by all other kids, a Genie meant wishes, and wishes meant cash, I should use wishes wisely and not be too rash. they must have cost millions, they cant have been cheap, and I tried them out later when all were asleep.
First I slipped in my left leg, then slipped in my right, and stood proud in my pants, what a marvelous sight, on the bed I reclined in my underwear gift, and I rolled up my little right hand in a fist, and slowly began gently rubbing away, hoping my Genie would come out to play.
For roughly a minute i polished my knickers, until something appeared 'bout the size of a Snickers. Could this be my Genie just starting to grow? I carried on rubbing at my down below, and then suddenly deep within my groinal glove, came a feeling of happiness,laughter and love, " here comes my genie " I shouted and cheered, but a wet sticky patch was but all that appeared.
Laying there on the bed with my moist genitalia, I thought that my pants were a terrible failure.
But now that I'm older and I'm looking back, and remembering gifts out of Santa clause sack, I remember those pants with the message upon, from my innocent childhood, those days now long gone, and though I had no Genie,for those pants I give thanks, as the taught me the joy that can be brought by Christmas.
I'm excited about Christmas this year, but that's because it's my first Christmas in my own actual home. Lisa always had a real tree in her old flat but I haven't had a real tree since I was with Jake. I'm very excited. We're having a Christmas party as well, on a Sunday afternoon, a nice civilised one (so that nobody vomits in the sink and the neighbors don't call the noise line this time). I've got a red berry Christmas wreath for the front door, and little red and white felt decorations from that wierd Tshcibo outlet in Somerfield - they are from Scandinavia or something. And I want to paint some twigs white and hang stuff off them like I saw in my sister's Country Living magazine, and paint some pine cones and have them all dangling off ribbons and stuff like I saw in this other magazine and, shhh, I know it all sounds really gay, but it's going to be lovely, I am sure of it. Even if right now my flat is a disgusting tip from hell and I have to spend the whole day tidying it up which is so not a fun prospect. But still. It'll be ace. I <3 Christmas and I don't understand people who don't. What's not to like? Apart from having to spend lots of time with one's parents, but even that's ok as you get older, because one day soon they will DIE, and think how shitty you're going to feel then.
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posted
It's Tchibo, London. Pronounced as cheapo if you're a natural comedian like my dad. I think it's a German company.
I'll eventually buy a tree from the market place, but probably not for a couple of weeks as I forsee pine-needle/kitten problems. I may decorate the feline's tail with copper coloured tinsel as I think it would coordinate well with her tangerine patches.
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posted
I'm really not sure what's going on this christmas. All I do know is that I am very, very tired. But lo! We have our christmas tree set up and turned on. It is a strange tree that was giving to the house by my other housemates mother. It is made of metal. About a foot tall and made entirely of lights. It lets off a warm red glow from the corner of the room.
I do love the decoration normally. The act of getting out all the tinsel and baubles. Did I ever tell you about the time Ringo 'saved christmas' for me? It was excellent. He showed up with a boot full of assorted decorations 'borrowed' from the OU. He even sourced a collapsable tree. That was the same year I got the LIDL hamper, so some symbol of normality was required to stop my christmas being themed like impoverished Poland. The symbol was: those baubles that have frosted snow glazed onto them. You know the ones. The snow is so coarse you could sand a plank of wood with it.
After the decorations come down, I feel a little glum. Having to put them all back into the box again. There is always the silver spiders of tinsel and sellotape in the corners of the room. It's like the last day of school term.
posted
But last day of term is a good day, isn't it?
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
posted
When I bought my house 5 years ago, and having moved from a small-ish flat that never had room for anything, I was so overjoyed at the thought of decorating a Christmas tree that I could not wait past 1st December to set everything up.
Unfortunately on 1 December there are not many real trees around for sale and even if there were, they would be unlikely to last well through Christmas and New Year. As a result I bought an artificial tree, which I've used ever since.
In the autumn I had decking built at 1st floor level out from the back of my house, and had to rearrange my dining room to move the table away from the wall (which is now a patio door). This means I don't have room in there any more for my artificial tree.
So I think I might eventually get a real tree this year! Perhaps one of those in a pot that you put outside for the rest of the year - that way hopefully it won't drop its needles and is also a bit more ecofriendly. Does anyone know where I can get one from?
I might put some fairy lights up in the windows tonight or tomorrow as a stopgap whilst I'm pondering on trees.
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Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
quote:Originally posted by MiscellaneousFiles: I may decorate the feline's tail with copper coloured tinsel as I think it would coordinate well with her tangerine patches.
quote:Originally posted by London: But last day of term is a good day, isn't it?
It is, but I always use to get a little sad. Around midday.
quote:Originally posted by Louche: Christmas sucks giant sweaty donkey bollocks.
Louche, if you don't stop trying to harsh my christmas boner I am going to wrap myself up in a present and leap out upon opening, biting at least one of your Areola.
lol, that cat looks so distressed at being made to wear golden booties that he can barely slide them off
[ 01.12.2006, 05:09: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
It's my fucking job, Mikee. It's what I do. I exist to hate Christmas. I'm the dark side of the festive season, the reminder of its roots in pagan brutality. I am the violence that lurks behind the tree-strewn facade of jollity. The spectre at the feast.
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posted
I must admit that although I'm usually a typical "bah-humbugger" at Christmas, the easy listening radio station I listen to every morning (before heavymetalradio.com kicks in for my afternoon thrash session) has been playing a few piano-driven Christmas carols and I'm feeling quite nostalgic now. Maybe Christmas is alright after all.
posted
God, why don't you and Louche get a room? A room full of prunes and sour-faced miserable joyless wrinkled faces. I'm going to have an excellent christmas this year...and if I have to spray twigs silver to enjoy it, then that's what I'll fucking well do. Pass the spray foam Amp. These cones aren't going to snow on themselves.
[ 01.12.2006, 05:30: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
posted
There's a little movie on YouTube that I saw the other day that introduced me to the word Gothtard. I like it.
I haven’t finished decorating my house yet, it’s still at least 50% building site, so Christmas decorations aren’t my first priority at the moment.
I’m not really fussed about the tree thing, although I do like the smell, and I like my Mum’s collection of tree decorations from all around the world many of which are completely unchristmasy. I might get a small living tree and then plant it in the garden afterwards I guess. Maybe not.
When I have my plants in the front garden I will definitely hook up some seasonal lights, just some discreetish white or blue fairy things I think.
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posted
Are you doing Grand Designs or something? How can you spend so long doing your house? It seems to have been going on for years.
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My Christmas tree has been up for TWO weeks already! This Sunday I'm going to get some pagan festive greenery in.
I've also got most of my Secret Satan gift sorted.
-------------------- What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden. Posts: 4941
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posted
This Christmas stuff is all way too early! My parents never put the tree up until the evening of the day we broke up from school, so that always seems the right time to me. Pink and I always have a real tree, normally with silver, pink and purple decorations (and normally end up finding bloody pine needles for the rest of the year, but it's worth it). This year I'm really looking forward to Christmas, mainly because I've just left my job and so don't have to working Boxing Day for the first time in five years! Posts: 710
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posted
For christmas, I would like ten thousand poonz (sterling)
Or some socks. Mine have all disapeared. Last year I got some LARGE boxer shorts and t-shirts. Do all parents get so old that they can't even remember that you are most definately a SMALL in every item of clothing. I get gloves that flap off my fingers like Emil from Robocop.
[ 01.12.2006, 06:21: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
Louche
Carved TMO on her clit just to make you feel bad
posted
I am less about the Christmas misery and more about the Christmas rage. The only thing Christmas related which doesn't fill me brimfull of the Christmas rage is the Christmas market. This is because it is impossible to rage that much when one is in the presence of some seriously hardcore cheese.
I have half of my secret Satan Present sorted. I am wondering about the advisability of what I am planning for the other half, though.
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quote:Originally posted by Jimmy Big Nuts: Are you doing Grand Designs or something? How can you spend so long doing your house? It seems to have been going on for years.
Not quite a year. And kind of yes. House needs a lot of work. Which is why I could afford it. I didn't realise quite how much until I took the wallpaper off to discover years of botched DIY/cowboy building.
New Bathroom and kitchen, which are now mostly in, but there was a leak in the bathroom so that put that back. The spark who has been wiring in the kitchen appliances and down lights has been busy/ill/a **** and still has stuff to finish in there before that can be finished. Which is holding up my decorating the rear reception.
I've completely stripped and rewallpapered two bedrooms and sanded the floors, and knocked out and rebuilt the fireplace in my room. I'm in the process of fitting a wardrobe/ wallcabinets unit in my bedroom and putting on new doors for the room.
Hall and stairs are stripped back to the plaster (apart from a bit on the stairs which no fucker had ever stripped, so 100 years of wallpaper on top of each other - woot) and have been mostly filled and sanded, ready for lining paper. Rear reception similarly, but less far along with filling.
I have also attempted to have a social life, and I can barely play video games hungover these days, let alone decorate.
[ 01.12.2006, 06:26: Message edited by: Boy Racer ]
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posted
I don't know. I kind of feel that last Christmas I gave TMO my heart, but the very next day, it got thrown away. So, this year, I'll save all the tears, and give it to someone special.
[ 01.12.2006, 06:23: Message edited by: Jimmy Big Nuts ]
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H1ppychick
We all prisoners, chickee-baby. We all locked in.
posted
I've nearly assembled most of the stuff for my Secret Santee also! At least, my TMO one. The Beautiful Becs hasn't told me yet who I'm buying for in my RL one.
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not...
You reached over with your hand and knocked my Jap over
posted
I've given up attempting to enjoy Christmas. It's seems like every year I'm poised with a Christmas cracker crown on my head, dressed in a rudolph sweater just about to down a glass of egg nog when some bunch of ***** comes over and start whinging about sparing a thought for "the other ones".
I mean for fucks sake It makes me really fucking angry and just ruins my enjoyment of the meal. I can barely force down the traditional after dinner Christmas dessert of Christmas pudding smothered in brandy and double cream.
I told my mate about it and he said "You ain’t gotta feel guilt just selfless - give a little help to the helpless" which is all well and good but then everyone else started bleating "Feed the world, Feed the world, Feed the world". I wouldn't mind but it's a bit rich coming from these *****, poncing around in their bentley turbos and fur coats and stupid comedy sunglasses.
This Fran guy says to me all mournful and dramatic "do they know it's Christmas time at all?" I said "Probably not mate, it's a Christian festival that's been bastardised to fuck by Coca Cola corporation and lumped in with some pagan shit that no one even cares about, I doubt they've ever heard of it, They're buddists ain't they?". He got all narky and in the end I was drunk and it all got a bit out of hand, I ended up punching the **** square on the nose, he felt the bitter sting of tears that Christmas i can tell you.
posted
As J is very superstitious, we can't put our tree up until 13th December (12 days before Christmas) and then it has to come down again on 6th January (12 days after Christmas). I don't really mind this as I get an exciting build-up and sense of anticipation plus the tree comes down before I get heartily sick of it. We always have a real tree, usually bought from the farm up the road. This farm makes an absolute killing every Christmas - it sells about twelftysevenmillion different kinds of tree and you have to pay extra if you want the base secured on a log (you can always try the ever hilarious propping it up in a bucket with some bricks technique when you get home of course). They convert this huge outbuilding into a massive grotto affair, with rooms dedicated to different kinds of lighting and different colour themed decorations. Naturally, there is a jolly, dirty old man dressed in a red suit who charges for the pleasure of children sitting on his knee (when I first took my daughter to see 'Father Christmas' when she was about two, 'Father Christmas' insisted that I sat on his lap too - very distressing). Even though we know that the whole place is a massive, heartless, calculated cash-in on the festive season, we still go because the kids really do get genuinely excited at the prospect of picking out our tree (my son always picks the limp, lacklustre ones that he feels sorry for) and buying bags of hot gingerbread. That's what kind of makes it for us. Once we get home, I'll put a cheesy Christmas CD on (because it makes my daughter cringe and therefore I am amused), J will untangle, test and swear at the fairy lights and the children will decorate the tree. They're getting better at this - they've learnt to evenly spread the decorations out rather than putting them all in the same spot, causing the tree to lurch precariously.
As for Christmas Day, I think it will be much less stressful this year because J's mother is not coming to stay. Thank the fucking Baby Jesus! I'll still spend most of my day in the kitchen cooking but I don't really mind that. Mind you, I've always had a bit of wine on the go at the same time in the past but that's a no-no this year.
I think that I like Christmas Eve best - it's much more exciting than Christmas Day. All the presents are under the tree and everything is done and ready and all looks beautiful and twinkling and festive and there's lots and lots of nice food and drinks to look forward to.
I've managed to get about one third of my Secret Satan present sorted - the rest should be done this weekend. I've also done something 'in the true spirit of Christmas' and sent some gifts to a needy stranger and her family via another website I frequent. It made me feel all festive and warm inside.
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quote:Originally posted by New Way Of Decay: ralph, in the spirit of christmas can you ask you a question?
You want me to ask myself a question?
And if you made a slight typo, and actually want to know if you can ask me a question, well of course you can! Was that the question, or did you want to ask me two questions? This is all very confusing for a Friday morning...
posted
All I wanted to know, was that, recently you mentioned about your house and your wifes health and I was thinking that was a particularly big step towards opening up to the people of the board. And that people were, or I at least were thinking 'oh man, that's asscakes' - but then you seemed to have taken a back seat. Being negative or snipey without really saying anything else. And my question was that after you opened up in this personal way, did you feel like you had to then take a backseat on TMO and act extremely defensively or offensively in order to balance up what you might consider to be a position of vunerability? Because for the record, I had a lot of respect for you after that and don't think you need to do this. Not here anyway.
It's probably not that way at all. I'm just overtired I think.
[ 01.12.2006, 08:08: Message edited by: New Way Of Decay ]
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