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» TMO Talk » Sex and Relationships » Why Southerners are so rich (Page 0)

 
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Author Topic: Why Southerners are so rich
Raz
Karma Police
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quote:
Originally posted by Bandy:
Whuh?

Scrawn-vuss reckons Louche is a mong but Louise is coll. With your pictore you implied that Louise was also a mong. Bandy. You mong!
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vikram

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Cn Louise be the new TMO pariah please?
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Gemini
I don't know much about oral sex at all
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quote:
Originally posted by Abby:
quote:
A summation per your request:

Down South, they have big cocks. With these big cocks, they make more kids. So they win.

No no! That is the wrong way round I think. Down South they have small cocks, so don't bother having sex and go to work instead. And become richer.
But surely the reason that extra-large condoms sizes can't be found down south is that the men down south have bigger cocks than the men up north and therefore all the extra-large condoms have sold out?
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scrawny
One Mojito, two Gin and Tonics, Three Bacardi Lime Sodas, and a couple of pints of Stella please.
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quote:
Originally posted by Raz:
Bandy. You mong!

I should have just said this and saved time and offence.

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...because that's the kind of guy you are.

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Uber Trick
DANGER!
unexploded sex bomb
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Is it specifically extra-large that we are debating here? I keep both Large and Regular condoms depending on how insecure the bloke is, but I've never seen extra-large.

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uberwench

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Ringo

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I've got a small cock and no money. Can someone please explain where I'm going wrong here?
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froopyscot
nibbled to death by an okapi
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Perhaps because you have a big heart?

Or failing that, an enlarged liver?

(Yeesh, this is like some kind of twisted Wizard of Oz isn't it?)

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Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains.

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MiscellaneousFiles

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quote:
Originally posted by Uber Trick:
Is it specifically extra-large that we are debating here? I keep both Large and Regular condoms depending on how insecure the bloke is, but I've never seen extra-large.

quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:
I've got a small cock and no money. Can someone please explain where I'm going wrong here?

Take your own condoms, as the ladies of today only stock Large and Regular. It's like MacDonalds! Maybe you'd feel better if you called yours a Regular. Does it come with mayo?
 -

[ 19.07.2004, 10:24: Message edited by: MiscellaneousFiles ]

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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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quote:
Originally posted by Ringo:
I've got a small cock and no money. Can someone please explain where I'm going wrong here?

You need to move to Kent. Or possibly, Cambridge.
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Uber Trick
DANGER!
unexploded sex bomb
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I think it is called a Regular Misc, cos I've never seen a small either. There you go Ringo, don't you feel better now!

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uberwench

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Ringo

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Ah well, who cares, I've got more bass than could be considdered reasonable in my car. That keeps me happy enough.
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Uber Trick
DANGER!
unexploded sex bomb
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So there you are getting jiggy with each other flak, flak, flak <thinks> Shit, its going to be condom time soon. Where the fack did I put my measure? O yes, it's under the bed. Now how can I measure his cock without embarrassing the poor lad? O I know! flak, flak, flak *pulls hand off on final upwards flak, quickly flips over onto front, reaches under the bed - all the time keeping the fingers circled to represent the girth*

What are you doing, babes?

Nothing, won't be a second, you keep it going, sexy.


*flak, flak, flak*

<thinks> What size, what size? *measures finger girth representation against cock-o-meter* EXTRA-LARGE! Holy cow.

[ 19.07.2004, 11:02: Message edited by: Uber Trick ]

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uberwench

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Samuelnorton
"that nazi guy"
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quote:
Originally posted by vikram:
Cn Louise be the new TMO pariah please?

Sounds like a plan. This thread is a pile of pure shite, btw.

--------------------
"You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary!"
"I thought they were animal cookies..."


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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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quote:
Originally posted by Samuelnorton:
pure shite, btw.

Ha ha! Snorton's turned into a weegie!
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Raz
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Is that another word for 'penisss'?
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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no. Although it should be! It means "person of Glaswegian origin".
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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Not that people of glaswegian origin are penises, of course, just that weegie would be a good word for a willy.
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Ringo

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quote:
Originally posted by Samuelnorton:
[This thread is a pile of pure shite, btw.

What are you, the cherry on top?
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Raz
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Dingleberry on top more like.
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Astromariner
Going the right way for a smacked bottom
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I'm going to read all snorton's posts in Elaine C. Smith's voice now.
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Samuelnorton
"that nazi guy"
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quote:
Originally posted by Astromariner:
I'm going to read all snorton's posts in Elaine C. Smith's voice now.

You won't find very many of those around here these days though. Sorry.

But seriously folks. Just look at this thread and the other one posted by the hapless Louise on Tesco muffins. Read through them again. What can you find there, save a pathetic combination of witless comments and bile spat at a poster who borders on the inconsequential?

It's all pretty sad. In the (prepare for cliché...) "old days" we had Ben's sharp wit and London's feminazi acidic tongue, but now this place seems to be surviving on a diet of Louchesque whining. At least Bandy is still around to provide the odd genuine lol with a bit of well-crafted phoo, which is something I suppose.

Forget that it's me saying all this, eh? Just think about it. Is TMO still an interesting place to hang around, or are you all starting to find yourselves doing other things and/or posting elsewhere?

It's a serious question.

--------------------
"You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary!"
"I thought they were animal cookies..."


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charrudeboi
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yea, since harlequin left its never been the same
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Samuelnorton
"that nazi guy"
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lol. I said it was a serious question though. Look at the Society forum for a start. No one has posted there for an entire week.

--------------------
"You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary!"
"I thought they were animal cookies..."


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MiscellaneousFiles

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Will forumites please try and remember that Louise is about twelve and you're all in your fifties. It's like an inverse Ahmania situation. She doesn't fit in with the rest of the group, so she goes a bit nuts.
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Vogon Poetess

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I only read TMO in case Snoreton posts some more about his favourite cheese. I know he doesn't post much anymore, but I can't be the only one who lives in hope of reading about TMO's vital bowel, folk demon, controversial statement-making heavyweight joy-giver.

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What I object to is the colour of some of these wheelie bins and where they are left, in some areas outside all week in the front garden.

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Gail
Gives baby boys intravenous nicotine
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I cycled through a village called Norton Malreward on Saturday.
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dang65
it's all the rage
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quote:
Originally posted by Gail:
I cycled through a village called Norton Malreward on Saturday.

What's it called on the other days?
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Gail
Gives baby boys intravenous nicotine
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Dunno. I think it might not even exist on other days. Or at least not on the road I thought I was on.
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froopyscot
nibbled to death by an okapi
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quote:
Originally posted by dang65:
quote:
Originally posted by Gail:
I cycled through a village called Norton Malreward on Saturday.

What's it called on the other days?
Sometimes, I really appreciate cheesy formulaic jokes, eg.: "... a man with a wooden leg named Smith?"

I will therefore share the following with the forum:

quote:
exhibit 'a':
Scientists recently found a porpoise which had small growths on its underbelly resembling the nubs of malformed legs. They observed the animal for several days but in the end decided against surgically removing the growths, on the grounds that this would be defeeting the porpoise.



[ 20.07.2004, 09:36: Message edited by: froopyscot ]

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Give 'em .0139 fathoms and they'll take 80 chains.

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Raz
Karma Police
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god
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Louise
TMO Member
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quote:
Originally posted by Uber Trick:
Is it specifically extra-large that we are debating here? I keep both Large and Regular condoms depending on how insecure the bloke is, but I've never seen extra-large.

I was just after anything slightly larger than usual, see if it made any difference.

And after an emergency trip to Colchester, a box of the elusive 'Pasanté Large' turned up in the big Tesco. They're only 1mm wider than ordinary ones, but looked about 3ft longer (not suggesting Mr Lou is that well endowed, before you all leap on my innocent comment). Avanti, the non-latex Durex condoms, are 10mm wider than standard latex condoms, but we haven't tested them yet, so I can't comment. In case anyone was actually interested.

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Because fat guys always win at see-saw

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damo
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pointlessly harsh.

cuntfuckarsemints

[ 24.07.2004, 09:21: Message edited by: damo ]

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Thorn Davis

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quote:
Originally posted by froopyscot:
quote:
exhibit 'a':
Scientists recently found a porpoise which had small growths on its underbelly resembling the nubs of malformed legs. They observed the animal for several days but in the end decided against surgically removing the growths, on the grounds that this would be defeeting the porpoise.


I still tell this joke from time to time.
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Amy
Transatlantic temptress
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That joke made me chuckle. Heh.
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jonesy999

"Call me Snake"
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x

[ 10.04.2019, 15:58: Message edited by: jonesy999 ]

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