posted
all cheese is de facto good. but some cheese are better than others. which is the best cheese in the world? the cheeses with the most votes got through to the finals of discos cheese olympics!
everyone nominate a cheese, and give three reasons. once twenty cheese have been nominated we vote on which is the best cheese. if someone beats you to your cheese of choice you simply choose another cheese. the winner is the winner of the cheese olympics!
fucking hell i love cheese.
pasteurised? fuh!
i nominate HALLOUMI
it is greek, and therefore a cheese for gays.
it is made of sheep.
it squeaks when you eat it, and is therefore the only musical cheese in the world.
lets get ready...to crumble! (as in, a nice dessicatey mature cheddar, or a few crumbs of stilton on a miniatures carrs.)
[ 20 May 2003: Message edited by: discodamage ]
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The more tasteless the better. Cheese is Satan's spunk after all, but I'll tolerate this on a pizza as long as the taste of buffalo has been completely processed out of it, rendering it a kind of glue for pizza topping adhesion. Cheese mastic if you will.
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i am considering whether, seeing as this is my thread, to ban stevie x for it for not liking cheese. thats a bit like not liking babies. there are plenty of people who dont like babies but i prefer to pretend they dont exist. this thread is about why cheese is brilliant and im not having any heretics in it.
you did however say mozarella, steveie, so i guess ill have to forgive you. thats like ony being able to tolerate babies who are always silent and dont move and never get any older than 4 days old- missing the point a little but forgivable.
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posted
The cheese of choice I choose to champion for this challenge of the cheeses is blue brie: all the soft gooeyness of soft goeey cheeses, with all the tangy zesty blueyness of tangy zesty bluey cheeses, to spread on crackers and wolf down as an excuse to drink two bottles of wine in one sitting, going "yah, oh god, that's a good cheese, mmmm, and this wine goes so well with it, mmmm, god, that's good..."
It's blue brie for me. And goose mousse, but that's not a cheese.
posted
Huntsman cheese. made from the subtance found in the arse crack of a man after the hunt, rolled with herbs, beer(YaY!) and garlic. possibly the cheese of the 80's?
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posted
mozerella? that stuff is foul, it sticks in your mouth like putty, its a huge effort to swallow and invariable drags down the rest of the cheese, thus suffocating you. Its texture and complete tasteless is just mgh, if i was a girl or gay id probably tell you it was like eating really, really thick spuff.
1) It's white. Many of the best things in the world are white. Habitat Egyptian cotton bedsheets. Certain pharmaceuticals. Snow.
2) If you squash it with a knife, it will splat down - and yet, should you choose to bake it in a flan, for example, a goats' cheese and leek flan, it will retain its shape and turn a most excellent pale brown at its uppermost parts! It is thus mutable, without being meltable. Or something.
3) it has a predeliction for luxury partners. Pine nuts, thyme sprigs, runny honey, red pepper. It knows on which side its bread is buttered (hah!) and naturally graduates towards those who will best complement its unique stylings. No abusive relationships here, no: no domestic violence, no on-again off-again boom-bust loveins: it seeks the best, finds it, and is content. As will you be. Chevre - the King of Cheese.
posted
Because you are young, and do not have a real job. One does not enter one's full earning capacity until several years after one has finished university. You have a long way to go until you can clear two-hundred-and-fifty english pounds per day, bwah. But at least you have your teeth.
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quote:Originally posted by mart: Er, "chevre" just means goat, doesn't it?
O. Yes. It's a white cheese shaped like a goat! It has the little rectangular eyes and everything! Surely you must have seen it, Mart. I mean, you're cosmopolitan and everything. Cuh!
posted
What I mean is that you'll have to be a bit more specific than just naming the animal that the milk comes from to make the cheese. If I just said "vache", I could mean, well, any (or all!) of thousands of cheeses.
Admittedly goat's milk cheeses are much less varied than cow's milk ones, and 100% goat's milk cheese is pretty much a sui generis all of its own, but still. You've copped all cheeses from all goats - a nifty move, oh cheesey one, but I'll wager Disco will give a verdict of filthy cheat when she sees your entry.
halloumi feta mozarella blue brie huntsman chevre (i will allow this because i couldnt name a sort of goats cheese, its all just goats cheese to me- and and all goats cheese is good cheese. and also because if i dont londie wont like me any more.) cheddar
its a strong lineup, but theres no real standout. well there is but im hoping that we're not going to be predictable! did i mention that in the final tally you will not be allowed to vote for your own cheese? that should mix it up a little!
and thankyou harley for informing us that all cheese is rotten milk. ewww! isnt it odd that cheese should then rock so hard?
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Because you have to learn to like it, when you are a childe you think it is urghdisgustinggetitawayfromme! But then you try it one day and you like it a little bit, each time a little more and it is hard work, but suddenly you love it and it's like you always loved it.
Three reasons? Because it has mouldy bits in it that look a lot nicer than the mouldy bits on top of the bowl of chopped tomatoes in my fridge.
posted
Hmmm... well, I thought I'd made a wise choice with blue Brie - it's two cheeses in one, but I think it will probably backfire, as it alientates two key sectors of the cheese-voting population: those who don't like soft cheeses, and those who can't stand blue ones.
Then again, from what I can make of the other candidates, this could go down to the wire.
quote:Originally posted by Amy: I found this for you cheese lovers
quote:Mental! PORT SALUT- this cheese can vary from mellow to robust in flavor and has a semisoft texture. Works well for cheese trays, appetizers and dessert. Goes best with fresh fruit and crackers. Mad in France.
Reminds me of a translation I was doing where I was this close to leaving in a typo. Instead of "People must be made to feel important", I had put "People must be mad to feel important". Oh how we laughed.
posted
Ah, Disco. In one thread your are dreaming about shaking my hand and talking "sometime", and in this one you are proving to be at one with me with your love of fromage. I don't know what to do. Help.
The long, short and the tall: I love cheese. A favourite? Many. Most. All. Yes, all. Even the one I purchased in Arras, which smells like a marathon runner's feet. Many of my favourites have been mentioned. Halloumi, best when grilled accompanying a slice of Greek ham. Mozzarella. I quite often but the little balls floating in that lightly salted brine and consume it there and then. No grilling, no placing carefully on bread. Cheese on a plate. Knife in hand.
But if I was to pick one... hmm... I think it has to be Comté. Oh yes. But then there's Rocquefort. Hell, I don't know. I want them all].
[ 20 May 2003: Message edited by: Samuelnorton ]
-------------------- "You ate the baby Jesus and his mother Mary!" "I thought they were animal cookies..."
we have now had 3 votes for cheddar. i dont give a shit what colour or derivation or sub-genus of cheddar you have voted for, you rets, jhnjhoj got there first and so he is the cheddar nominee.
read the fucking manual! if someone beats you to your cheese of choice you simply choose another cheese. that is such a beautiful sentence that i think you are blinded by its silken rhythmic cadences and hence cannot even understand it. not your fault. it is a beautiful sentence. but stop, you savages!
hades, amy, you cant have cheddar. simply choose another cheese, y'getmi? i dont care if you love cheddar more than any other cheese, for a start you are giving cheddar a false start but subconsciously making people think it is the most popular cheese before we have even got to the second round! you are fucking with the cheese olympics!and this is something up with which i will not put! nobody fucks with discos cheese olympics!
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quote:Originally posted by Amy: If you don't feel like clicking on it...
If you really don't feel like clicking on it, what it boils down to is this: interesting flavoursome cheeses come from France, the UK, Norway etc.; bland generic 'cheese' comes from the USA.
Why? Is there no decent artisan cheese made in the States? It's not like the population doesn't come from all parts of the world and doesn't have the skill to make good cheese is it?
posted
"Something up with which I will not put": a clevva comment made by Churchill regarding a pedantic grammarian who complained about the atrocities committed to the English language, in particular the ending of sentences with propositions.
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posted
What I don't know is Churchill's favourite cheese (though he was of the opinion that "a gentleman only buys his cheese from Paxton & Whitfield"). I do know how he drank his martinis though.
Edited for bonkers late-night Googling of cheese factoids.
Crumble it over all sorts of fresh foods, bake it in a pasty, slap it on bread with a sprinkling of herbs and extra virgin olive oil on it, even fry it. Smashing stuff.
-------------------- ..so long and thanks for all the fish...
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