It's not fucking big and it's not fucking clever,
So why the fuck is swearing suddenly so fucking popular ?
It's fucking everywhere all of a fucking sudden, as soon as you turn the fucking TV on or tune the fucking radio to a chart station you're fucking confronted with a barrage of four fucking letter words.
Celebrities seem to be famous for fuck all other than their fucking swearing.
Fucking take away the fuck from Ozzy fucking Osbourne and there's fuck all fucking left of the fucker.
Try and fucking stop Gordon fucking Ramsey fucking well swearing and he'll fucking tell you to fucking fuck right off you fucker.
On the 1st of fucking December 1976, the fucking Sex Pistols appeared on the fucking 'Today' show.
The host, Bill fucking Grundy said "Say something outrageous." To which Steve Jones replied: "You dirty bastard ... You dirty fucker ... What a fuckin' rotter!".
The fucking TV station was fucking deluged with fucking complaints; one fucking irate lorry driver put his fucking foot through his fucking television screen in fucking disgust.
And yet now in 2004 the fucking number one record in the fucking charts is called "Fuck you, you whore" and contains somewhere in the fucking region of 33 fucking swearwords and frankly is well ….Fucking shit.
I remember in my fucking youth that a well placed FUCK felt like it fucking meant something, like you'd said something fucking bad, fucking dangerous and in some way fucking cool, yeah I said fucking cool, cool as fucking fuck.
You might get away with a shit or a bastard in fucking public, but never a fuck and certainly not a cunt.
Even today there still seems to be a little fucking bit of danger associated with the fucking word cunt but sadly, I fucking feel that by the end of the fucking year cunt will soon be as commonplace as fucking fuck fucking is now.
It's fucking worthless now, fuck means fuck all these fucking days, it's lost all its fucking appeal and half the fucking time you don't even fucking notice when someone says "fuck" or writes "fuck" and even if you do fucking notice you don't fucking care about it, you don't fucking kick your fucking TV screen in or write letters of fucking complaint en fucking masse to Channel four because fucking swearing is fucking part of who fucking Gordon fucking Ramsey fucking is. Just like it's a fucking huge part of who fucking Ozzy is and his fucking kids too. Mewling talentless fucking brats raised in a fucking world where saying fuck is as fucking commonplace as fucking saying please or fucking thank you.
If it carries on like this what the fuck will our fucking children fucking use as fucking swearwords ? Will swearing end up falling fucking foul of its fucking self and will sly, witty and cleverly thought out retorts replace the four letter foulness ?
I'll be fucked if I fucking know but I think it's time we fucking thought about it.
Fuck, the fucking fuckers futures fucking fucked - Oh fuck.